Jay'a: Konnichiwa! Here it is, the start of our new series. We own nothing but ourselves. (But you know we all like to play.
1) Pick a Ronin
2) Pick a suitable torture
3) Decide how said Ronin will get out of his torture and proceed
4) Pick another Ronin
5) Pick another torture such that last Ronin and torture carries over to the
current one (each gets progressively worse)
6) Continue until you get bored or you're out of Ronins
Shiane and Jay'a's Challenge or: "How Bad Can We Make It?"
Sage in: Sage versus Mica or: "Am I cute?"
"Jay, we need something to do!" Shiane whined.
Jay'a looked over at Shiane from her own side of the room that they shared at Mia's house. "We could go harass the guys. We haven't done that in a while. Have we?"
"I guess not, but I don't know what to do."
Just then, Sage's voice floated up the stairs. "Hey Shiane! Come downstairs a sec!"
Jay'a raised an eyebrow at Shi. "Perhaps an opportunity will present itself."
The two trooped downstairs to find Sage standing in the doorway to the kitchen. He wrapped his hands around Shiane's waist. "Shiane, love, would you make me something to eat?"
Shiane screwed up her face at him. "Make you something to eat?" she repeated incredulously. She looked at Jay'a. "I dunno. Do you ever make Luke anything to eat?"
"Considering I don't like to cook, and therefore he never asks, no."
"Hey Sage," Kento said as he stopped in the kitchen on his way outside.
"What?" Sage was amused to hear what the human garbage disposal had to say.
"You should wish for food!"
Sage raised an eyebrow. "Wish for it?"
"Yeah, ya know with those Lizard Ball thingys Shi's always talkin' about." Kento poked his head in the fridge.
"Kento, first of all, they're called Dragon Balls. And second, they're from a different universe," Shiane explained.
"Oh. Well whatever. Hey now I remember what happened to that sandwich. I ate it this morning." He shut the fridge.
"That was hardly a serious suggestion I take it," Sage commented dryly.
Kento shrugged and grinned. "I guess not. I'm goin' outside! See ya later!" Sage rolled his eyes and turned back to Shiane.
Shiane felt something butt against her leg. She disconnected herself from Sage. "Mica babes!" She picked up the black cat and held him close. "Yeah, my Mica babes, you're so cute."
"Meow."
"Are you hungry?" she asked, carrying him into the kitchen. "Well, we'll just have to fix that." She brought out a can of cat food. "You're so spoiled, you know that? But I love you, yes I do."
"There's something very wrong here," Sage said to Jay'a. Jay'a raised an eyebrow. "I swear, she loves him more than me. I am always having to compete with her dumb cat, of all things, for her attention."
Shiane turned slowly and leveled her eyes at him. "My WHAT?!"
"Meow!!"
"Aw, poor Mica babes. The big blonde boy is being mean again, I know. But don't feel too bad Mica babes. He isn't nearly as cute as you anyways."
"WHAT? I'm cute! Shiane you can't - I just - wait!"
Ryo walked into the room with White Blaze and Sage grabbed him by the shoulders. "Ryo, I'm cuter than Mica, right?"
Ryo's eyes slowly grew to the size of dinner plates. He glanced past Sage to see Shaine and Jay'a snickering. "Wha... What are ya talkin' about?"
"Am I cuter than Mica?"
"You mean, like, if I was a girl or something?" Ryo asked, still confused.
"No!" Sage said annoyed. "Just am I cuter than the cat!"
Ryo petted White Blaze. "Well, I tend to think all cats are cute. I mean, you can't go wrong with a cat. So yeah, I'd definitely have to say that Mica is cuter than you. Come on White Blaze, let's go get something to eat."
"Arrrgghh!" Sage left the kitchen on a mission to find someone who'd tell him he was cute.
"Yes!" Shiane and Jay'a high-fived each other and Shiane went back to feeding Mica.
"I knew we'd find something," Jay'a said. "So how long are we gonna let this go on?"
Shiane shrugged. "I figure either until he gets some sense and doesn't care any more or he actually gives in and admits that Mica is cuter."
"Sounds like a plan." Jay'a turned and poked Ryo in the shoulder. "You heard none o' this, got it?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, sure."
* * * * * * * * * *
Sage peered around the house at Kento, Cye, and Rowen playing basketball. It was one-on-one, ref plays the winner. Perfect, Sage thought. Rowen's my best friend. He'll tell me I'm cute. "Hey Rowen!" Sage called in a slightly whiny voice.
Rowen held up his hand to stop the game. He rarely, if ever, heard Sage use that tone of voice. "Yeah, what's up Sage?"
"Ro, I'm cute right?"
Rowen swallowed and flushed slightly as he heard Kento and Cye snickering behind him. "Uhh... what?"
"Tell me if I'm cute! Please tell me I'm cute!"
"Uh Sage, ya know if you and Shi are havin' a problem..."
"Just tell me if I'm cute!"
"Ah, but, Sage, I can't - I mean you shouldn't - um..."
"Aw come on Ro, you're my best friend! Kento, Cye? Come on, one of you guys tell me I'm cuter than Mica!"
Kento and Cye stopped laughing, realizing that this was a serious question. "Umm..."
"Well, uh, hey Cye, why don't you field this one?"
"No, no. Rowen he asked you first."
"Yeah, but he asked you last. Kento?"
"Nope, not touchin' it."
"So I'm not cuter than Mica?" Sage whimpered. Sage sighed, shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away.
Cye, Kento, and Rowen exchanged bewildered glances. "Ya think maybe we oughta go after him?" Rowen asked, concerned for his friend.
"Nah," Kento said taking the ball from Rowen. He shot from the three point line, but missed. "He needs to get over himself sometime. C'mon, let's play."
Rowen and Cye shrugged at each other and returned to the game.
* * * * * * * * * *
Jay'a and Shiane had observed the whole scene from the balcony. "This is great," Jay'a said. "We don't even have to do anything."
"Yeah, really," Shiane agreed. "But where does he think he's going now? It's not like Mia's around today."
"Yeah, and I'd be seriously very afraid if he went and asked Yuli."
"Oooh, no! Mental picture!" Both girls slid to the floor in fits of laughter.
"Aw man," Jay'a said shaking her head. "I had enough of those pedofile peope when I was runnin' around with Serena and them."
"Ew, yeah, I remember you tellin' me. Come on, let's go follow him."
* * * * * * * * * *
Sage stepped cautiously into the Dynasty castle that Kayura and the Warlords had established residency in after Talpa had been "evicted." The five of them had to be around somewhere.
Hah. Perfect. "Hey Cale!"
Startled, Cale whipped around to see Halo jogging towards him in street clothes of all things. Curious, Cale assumed a stance of nonchalance. "You want something?"
"Cale, I'm cute right?"
Cale froze. In all his four hundred some odd years of life, he had never come across such a question. Particularly not from a teenage boy. "Uh, look, Halo, I know we Warlords are good and everything, but, uh, well what I mean is, um –" Cale spotted his way out. "Hey Kayura! I think Halo here's got a question for you." Sage turned his attention to Kayura allowing Cale to scurry off and warn the others not to come downstairs.
"Hi Sage," Kayura said. "What is it you need to ask me?"
"Am I cute?"
Kayura blinked. "Don't you have a girlfriend to answer that question for you?" she asked.
"Please Kayura, I just need you to honestly tell me that I'm cuter than Mica."
Kayura's eyes lit up. "Shiane's cat Mica? I love him! He's so cute and adorable! I wish I had a cat like him. Real nonjudgmental love, ya know. And cats'll never get jealous 'cause they know they're just too cute for you to be away too long. Shiane's so lucky to have a cat like him." Kayura sighed contentedly and looked at Sage. He sniffled. "Oh Sage," she said, patting him affectionately on the head. "You're cute too!"
"I am?"
"Of course you are."
"Am I cuter than Mica?"
Kayura hesitated slightly. She didn't want to lie... "You're equally cute," she sad diplomatically.
This seemed to satisfy the blonde for he finally smiled at her. "Really?! Thanks Kayura!"
"Anytime Sage," she said patting him on the head again. "Now you go on home, okay?"
"Kay! Bye!"
Still slightly bewildered, Kayura watched Sage leave. He was sort of bouncing as he walked. When he was out of sight, Kayura shook her head and sighed. Some days...
* * * * * * * * * *
When he arrived back in the Mortal Realm, Sage all but skipped back to the house. He hoped the others were there so he could announce his triumph to Shiane in front of everyone. He entered the house and heard Ryo, Shiane, and Jay'a talking excitedly.
"I've got a great idea!" Ryo said. "We could form a cat-lovers club!"
"Yeah!" Shiane agreed. "You and I could be co-presidents, and Jay'a can be in it –"
"But I don't have a cat."
"Well, you can be an honorary member then."
"Hey, don't forget Mina's got a cat," Cye said from the doorway.
"Oh yeah!" Jay'a exclaimed. "And Serena!"
"And Serena's daughter," Ryo added. "What's her name? Rini? She has a cat, right?"
"Hey I've got a cat," Kento chimed in.
"Great!" Ryo said. "Wow! Look how many members we have so far!"
Shiane looked up and saw Sage. "Sage! Guess what Ryo and I are forming a cat-lovers club for everyone we know who has cute cats like my Mica babes isn't he cute yes my Mica babes is just the cutest thing ever and I love him more than anything!"
"More than... me?" Sage asked.
Shiane looked at him curiously. "Well, he's cuter than you."
"I still can't believe you think your cat is cuter than me, of all people," Sage pouted.
"Meowww!"
"Oh, Mica babes, Sage is being mean to you again, I know." She paced around the kitchen holding Mica. "Yeah, we don't like the big bad blonde boy, do we?" She threw a furtive wink at Jay'a, who nodded slightly back. "I'll break up with the big bad blonde boy if you want, 'cause you're just so cute –"
"Arrrrggghhh!!"
Sage found himself outside again, Kayura's reassurances gone from his head. He paced back and forth trying to figure out how the hell all of this started. Then he remembered Kento's comment from earlier. "The Lizard Balls... I mean Dragon Balls. Yeah... Then I could wish to be cuter than Mica!" Sage's pacing became quicker. "But how to get there?" Sage stopped and thought hard. "I can just... go. Right?" he said to no one in particular. "Because we're allowed to go where Shi and Jay'a hang out the most, right? Right.... Okay." Resolved in his determination, Sage closed his eyes and disappeared.
Two pairs of eyes watched from the window.
"Did he just say 'Lizard Balls'?"
"Yep. Yep he did."
"Ya think we should follow him?"
Shiane grinned. "C'mon. I have an idea."
* * * * * * * * * *
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, Sage thought after he'd been wandering for about fifteen minutes. He randomly turned a corner and looked up at the building now in front of him. "Capsule Corp?" he muttered. "Whatever that means."
"Hey! What are you doing?"
Sage turned and stared. Those two kids were floating! One of them, obviously the older one, had short purple hair. The other one had long-ish spiky black hair.
"Hey Mister, are you looking for something?"
Sage blinked. "Uh, yeah. Liz - I mean, Dragon Balls."
The boys' eyes lit up. "Really?"
"You know where I can get Ôem?"
The boys conferred privately and then turned back to Sage. "Well," the purple haired one said, "you don't look evil - sort of - so I suppose we could find them for you but..."
"But?"
The little one smiled. "But what's in it for us?"
"What do you want?"
"Cash. Up front."
Oh the joys of little kids. "I'll give you kids a dollar." The purple haired one raised an eyebrow. "A dollar each?" He folded his arms. "Five dollars - each?"
"Ha! Try five each per Dragon Ball!"
"How many are there?"
"Seven," the little one answered.
Sage did some quick calculations. "That's seventy dollars!" he cried.
The older one shrugged. "How bad do you want 'em?"
"Not that bad," Sage muttered, as turned around to go home.
"Too bad, you coulda wished for something nice for your girlfiend!"
"Girlfriend!?" the little one shrieked. "Yeah right! Icharus is cuter than he is!"
Sage whipped around. "Who's Icharus?" he demanded.
"My brother's pet."
Sage pulled out his wallet as he stalked back to the two boys. He was sick and tired of being compared to everyone's pet. "Here," he said, thankful he'd gone to the bank the other day. "Seventy. Now, Dragon Balls."
The older one snatched up the money and stuffed it in his back pocket. "Hi, I'm Trunks!" he said. "My associate here is Goten. We'll be back in about two hours. Nice doin' business with ya!" And the two boys took off.
Sage sat down on a rock and began to think just how stupid that might have been...
* * * * * * * * * *
Trunks and Goten ducked behind a building where two young women were waiting. "Didjya get 'im?" the first one asked.
"Yep. He shelled out a whole seventy bucks!"
"Ouch," the second one said. "That's harsh."
"Serves him right for calling my Mica babes dumb. Nice job Chibis"
"His original offer was one dollar for us to split. I was insulted!"
"As well you should be. Hey, aren't you forgetting somthing?"
"Like what?"
"Our 20%."
"Aw man!" they whined.
"Oh c'mon, 14 bucks isn't gonna kill you," Jay'a said.
"Oh fine, here. We gotta go. See ya later!"
"Yeah see ya! Come on Jay'a, let's get back to the house."
* * * * * * * * * *
"Yo, blondie! We're back!"
Sage checked his watch. "You're two minutes late. I should get a partial refund," he said, not really expecting to get it.
"Ah, kwitchyerbitchin'," Trunks said. They dumped the Dragon Balls on the ground. "Eternal Dragon, come forth!"
"You have awakened me from my slumber. I will grant but one wish. State your wish now."
Sage stepped forward. "I wish to be cuter than Shiane's cat Mica!"
The Dragon blinked. "Shiane as in the brown haired girl that hangs out with the other brown haired girl and who likes to harass people?"
"Uh, yeah that's the one."
"Sorry, I grant no wishes directly related to either of them. Make another wish."
"But - but – that's what I want!"
"Tough."
Sage pouted. Man, and I'm out a whole seventy bucks too. Finally he remembered how he'd gotten himself into this mess in the first place. He sighed. "Well, how 'bout a ham sandwich, then?"
* * * * * * * * * *
A weary and despondent Sage trudged back into the house. All the guys were there, plus Jay'a and Shiane. Best to get it over with in front of everyone, I guess, he thought.
"Hey Sage," Ryo said. "Where ya been buddy?"
"I give up."
"What?" They all turned to him.
"I give up. Mica's cuter than me."
Shiane leapt over the back of the couch. "Really?!"
"Yeah. And I'll never call him dumb or stupid or anything like that again."
Shiane threw her arms around him and gave him a long slow kiss. "Good!" she said brightly when she had let go. And she skipped out the door, Jay'a waving good-bye as she followed.
Sage looked at the other guys. "Are you confused? I'm confused." All four shrugged between not so well hidden bursts of laughter.
"What, do you think this is funny?" They all shook their heads trying not to laugh.
"Yeah, you just wait. Just wait till it's your turn. Then you'll be sorry." He disappeared up the stairs.
When he was safely out of hearing range, Ryo, Rowen, Cye, and Kento all burst out laughing for a good five minutes. When they'd finally clamed down, Rowen wiped the tears from his eyes. "Well," he said, "at least that's the end of that!"
Or so he thinks...
Shiane here! We hope you guys will all like The Challenge as much as TOM! And didja like the DBZ parts!