Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NANA, it belongs to Yazawa Ai.
Stella remembers.
I don't remember the first time I met you, but I pretty sure you don't remember it either. I was just the pretty foreigner to your hometown. A lighter skin, lighter blonde hair, light and wider eyes, curvier body and taller than her: Reira. I was what you wanted. You were not what I wanted but somehow you became the biggest love I had ever had. Now that I think of it, who would like to be in love with a man like you. I was only sixteen and I didn't know any better. One thing that I loved the most was you were such a good lover. And I don't regretted haven lost it to you, even if it was in a raunchy backroom of a theater. I still remember your lips devouring every part of my body, your hands making me feel wonders, like you did with your silver guitar, and your body pressing against me. It was sweet watching as I became your first steady girlfriend, and all of your other fans becoming more jealous of me. I remember everything, but do you remember it? I don't think you do, or forgot all about me the moment I felt Japan. That is the kind of man Takumi is.
Takumi, you are my cousin form my father's side, and I meet you when I was sixteen and you were seventeen. You were such a bad guy, but you were only frustrated with your life. You wanted more, and the town was pretty small. The only true opportunity to leave that town behind was thru music, your band: Trapnest. And of course to the use of her voice, the most ignorant woman I had ever known, but she did have a nice voice. So, at sixteen I met you, it was winter and snow was beautiful. You were cold in the surface, but warm underneath it. My father and mother decided to leave England and moved to Japan, following my dad's dream to return to his home land. And mother was okay with it, she loves Japanese culture, and I had no other choice but to follow. When I meet your eyes I knew it was okay to be a follower. Takumi, whose real name it's Ian. Like me, you are only half Japanese, though you look Asian. I was the only one who really knew your dirty little secret. You hated it for you hated your father: the English man. Do you remember that I told I didn't care, that we were made for each other? That was the first time we held hands, and walk together in the beach, near Ren's warehouse apartment. Do you remember our first kiss, under the sky by the beach? I don't think you do. I don't even think you remember our first kiss under the Tokyo sky.
The winter became summer, and we stuck together until we could not hold on any more. My high school graduation came and time for university. Because I knew you wanted to move to Tokyo and make it professionally with the band, I chose to stay in Japan and study in Tokyo University. It was my first weekend that we kiss in top of the tower. You made me feel alright. For the next two years I stuck behind you, and the band, trying to get you guys sing. Finally you got sing, and Ren had to leave our tiny town. And finally could do my best on my studies. It was my junior year, and Trapnest debut made big, I still remember all my girl friends pouring their platonic love for Takumi Ichinose. But I knew better, for I was in love with Ian Portman, your true name. Do you still remember the first time you were recognized, you were coming out of my tiny flat? You had to dash to the awaiting black car. That was the begging of you forgetting about me, and only carrying about work. That mentality of yours probably made me the decision of tacking a job here in London. I made it when I knew you were in Tokyo and it was my birthday, you didn't came to my flat, send flowers or even text. I think I was heartbroken. Once you knew my decision you rushed and yelled at me asking why I was selfish. But you understood that I wanted to do something for myself, so you could finally stop comparing me with Reira. You took me to the airport that late February, hold my hand, said to me sweet thing on our native language. It was with those words that you promise me you'll be faithful and wait until me return. Do you still remember that promise? I think you forgot it at the first site of her, Nana K.
I still remember that day of late summer 2001, it was cold day. No surprise in London really, but it was abnormal. The Monday before you came, I had the most pleasant conversation with Ren Honjo. He worried me, looking at him skinner than ever before. He was updated me on everything including that he is back with his girlfriend Nana Obasaki, and that his band BLAST was going to make it big. He also mentioned a girl by the Nana K. or Hachi that she has become his Nana's best friend. I was glad for Nana, and he briefly mention she was a dreamer. He didn't really talk much about you, when I asked him. He only warned me to be ready for anything unpleasant. I didn't thought anything wrong. The following days I was really busy at worked and so were you. It was Friday when knock the door of my flat, as if you didn't had a key. You enter and I got scared just by looking at you eyes. They weren't the eyes of my Ian. I kiss you and you kiss me back, but stop me when I tried to remove your coat. You looked at my eyes and I into yours, and somehow I understood what you wanted to do. We walked to the living room and I sat down. You stood there and clear you throat but no words came out once you opened it. You clear it once again, and the word that came out was in an alien language: English.
"Stella, I don't know the words to tell you what I am about to tell you in Japanese," you said on your wonderful English with a hit of Japanese accent. "You know that I love you right?" you said holding your long, silky, black hair. I could see your big hands, and they brought me dear memories. I stood up and walked to the mini bar. Your eyes follow me. I prepaid you a glass of whisky, and I handed it to you. You drank from it, and you drop it. You quickly embrace me with all you force. "I messed up. There is a Japanese girl I slept more than once; I am sorry my love. I really try to be faithful to you, but it is hard," you said those words like it was because of me you slept with her. "She is a sweet girl, and I am marring her because of the child."
"Stop it," I said without moving from your embrace. "Then why do you have to marry her, just support the child. Why do you have to marry her?" I said naively knowing that probably that was your idea.
"Stella, she is pregnant and I have to take care of business and support the child," he said holding me on his arms, "I…" you cleared your voice and I feel a tear coming from your brown eyes," I love you, but I mess up big time," I break from your embrace and back away, "please understand…"
"Why?" I said looking at your crying eyes, "Why?" I hit on your chest and I grab your his silk shirt and put my head on it. I started to cry, "This hurts, but promise that you'll be an excellent father to her child. Ren, said something about her: Hachi. I guess I am a strong woman, but why do I fell so weak, right now? You are stupid idiot who all thinks with his lower brains."
"I guess I was always blinded by my love for you," I said calming a bit. "I always knew I was the trophy among your harem," and all mine tear started to pour out.
"I love you," you said reaching my check, I could not refused you. You cleared away my little wet tears. I don't know how it happened but your lips meet mine. All the anger melts away, and I wake up the next day in bed with sheet smelling like your perfume and cigarettes. I still remember that day as if were yesterday, but it has been almost ten years. Do you still remember that day? I don't think so, as I am seeing you play with your children on the park.
I am walking in thru the park near my office, when I saw you. You haven't changed a bit. You had your family with you: a boy, a girl and your wife. I could not help it but sat down on a beach and watch you. Tell me, Takumi, do you still remember me, Stella Ichinose? Do you still recall our heated nights together? Remember our tiny apartment in Tokyo? Do you remember your plan to marry me at 25? Do you remember our dream family and two cats? Do you remember what you gave my when you felt? Do you remember it all? I hope you don't because you look so happy with your family.