Lucy crept through the Scrubb household late at night, only hours from dawn, on a particular Thursday morning- a mere five days after her last visit to Narnia.
Her final visit. She was never to return.
The news had both shocked and horrified her. Narnia was gone, and everyone and everything in it as well. Caspian was gone, Reepicheep was most definitely gone, Trumpkin was gone, Mr. Tumnus, the Beavers... everyone she ever knew in the land of Narnia, gone forever.
Only three others shared in her misery. Peter and Susan, her oldest siblings, had only gone back to Narnia once more. Edmund- her elder by two years- and her cousin, Eustace, had accompanied her on her last voyage with her Narnian friends.
Never to return, never to return. The phrase ran through her head over and over, like an omen. Never to return, never to return.
Slowly, Lucy approached Eustace and Edmund's joint bedroom. She knew she would find Edmund alone in there- Eustace had fallen asleep on the couch, listening to the radio programs about the war. Edmund and Lucy hadn't the stomach for it, so they'd gone to bed.
Lucy pried the bedroom door open quietly, allowing thin streams of bluish hallway light into the room. Edmund appeared to be fast asleep- but if she knew her brother well, which she did, he most certainly was not.
Edmund had always taken their returns to their world the hardest. He was the most attached to Narnia besides herself, and she was more attached to Aslan himself than Narnia as a whole. Edmund had truly belonged and was appreciated there, and to have all of that taken away, just like that, was horrifying to the poor boy. He hadn't a wink of sleep since they'd returned, always that same look of utter shock on his face as he walked round the house, or went with Lucy to fetch the groceries.
"Lu?" Edmund's groggy voice called in a low whisper.
"It's me," she said, closing the door behind her. She didn't bother turning a light on- it would've hurt Edmund's eyes, since he'd been trying to sleep, and Lucy could manage perfectly well in the dark.
Lucy sat herself on the edge of Edmund's bed. "I couldn't sleep," she murmured.
"Makes two of us," he said, sitting up. "I've been thinking, far too much for my own good."
"What about?" Lucy asked, already knowing the answer, almost by heart. But sometimes, it does more good to explain your thoughts in detail, getting them off your chest, then saying something like, 'You know'. So Edmund explained.
"Everything," the former king began. "Narnia, Aslan, our subjects, the Western Wood, the Golden Age... everything. And how much I'm going to miss it all, now that it's..." His voice broke suddenly, and Lucy saw tears trickling down her brother's face. "... Now that it's all gone."
Tears pricked in Lucy's eyes as she hugged Edmund as tight as she could, her little arms wrapped around his shoulders, her face buried in his chest. Sobs heaved noiselessly in her chest, her body shaking from the force of it.
Edmund held his little sister close, stroking her hair and pulling her onto his lap. "Shhh," he consoled her. "Everything's alright. Everything's going to be alright."
But that did nothing to stop the wave of utter despair crashing over the both of them for the hundredth time since they'd returned. Narnia is gone, Narnia is gone, Narnia is gone...
"I... I... can't..." was all Lucy could manage through her tears. "Can't stop... thinking about... everything... either."
"C'mere," Edmund beckoned, folding over one corner of the bedsheets. Lucy crawled into the bed next to him, still shaking, tears now flowing freely down her face. He kept his arms round her, holding her close, letting her cry as much as she needed to.
"I want to go back," Lucy murmured forlornly, after what felt like an hour, but in reality was a mere ten minutes. "I want... to go... back..." The poor little girl, worn out from all her tears and overwhelming despair, yawned, leaning her head on Edmund's chest. Her eyes fluttered shut, her breathing even.
Edmund managed a smile at his little sister. "Aslan promised. He said we'd see him again..."
"I do hope he keeps it," she whispered, wrapping her arms tighter around him. "I miss him so much, and it's only been a few days." Another yawn came about on Lucy's behalf, as she curled up beside Edmund.
"We'll see him again," he assured her. Not that she heard- by now, Lucy was fast asleep. Smile widening, Edmund shifted their position to a more comfortable one, kissed her forehead, and whispered, "Goodnight, O Queen Lucy the Valiant."