AN. For my best friend.
There was a gentle knock on the door, but of course; she wasn't going to open it. Not like this. For she was curled up in bed, hiding her face away from the world. She wasn't being dramatic, and it wasn't exactly all by choice.
Of course she wanted to open the door to whoever was knocking; but she couldn't grab the strength. She'd looked in that mirror and been more than taken aback by the face looking back at her. She looked and felt utterly awful; her nose was ned, she had pimples lacing her jawline and her eyes were dark with lack of sleep; being up all night with a cough did that.
Maybe it had been building up for a while, she'd locked herself indoors researching for her novel.
Maybe her skin had grown used to being shut up and wanted her to stay indoors a little longer. If it did, it was certainly succeeding, because there was no way she was going to get up and leave.
The knock repeated, this time a little louder.
Lucy didn't budge, her fingers tangling in her messy blonde lock; her face smushed into the fluffy duck feathered pillows, her mind begging for whoever was beyond the wood of her door to take the hint and leave.
But of course an internal begging never gave anyone much long, and the door banged for the third time that morning.
"Lucy?"
She knew that voice, she'd know that voice after all.
How come he was knocking the door? Natsu must have been in a polite mood this morning.
A little smile flickered onto her face. Ah. Of course, she'd locked the window well, along with her curtains being drawn. He'd had no choice but to use the door.
"Lucy! I know you're in here."
She pressed her lips together, still hidden in the blankets, a little hermit to the rest of the world. Away from her best friend was also included, Natsu was not stepping foot in here unless he found a way to get inside without looking at her face.
She grumbled slightly, peeking her head out from under the blanket, her curtains being closed left the room in a dark gloom; the only light coming from the hallway outside. She had a feeling this boy wasn't going to let up, she was going to have to tell him to leave.
"Natsu…" She raised her voice, it croaky due to not being used in a while; she'd been sitting in silence for such a lot time that it was a surprise to hear something so close to her ears. "Now's not really a good time!"
There was a small pause, Natsu obviously listening closely to her words. She could see it now, him standing there in his usual manner, a rough stance with his expression of confusion settling across his features. That pink hair in its usual perfection of a mess, and his delicate vibe of friendliness only making her self issue worsen. She couldn't let him see her this way, she was hideous. Ugly.
Pimples that were this big deserved to be hidden behind a paper bag, and she felt like an old lady with those dark circles beneath her eyes.
Her nose just made her look downright ill and she was growing pale at just the thought of him coming inside and realising that his best friend was nothing but an ugly fraud. She wore make up most of the time, and pimples didn't settle on her face for this long. she was a disgrace.
She felt sorry for him already and she hadn't even let him inside; he was safe from the horrific sights inside.
Lucy shook her head, yanking back the blanket and pulling herself upright.
"I know you told us to leave you while you write, but it's been days."
"So?! I'm not done!" She barked. Just go away… if he just waited a few days, maybe she could find a way to make herself look a little more presentable. She wasn't really sure why she cared so much, it wasn't about him. She just felt awful looking, it had nothing to do with him… and that was exactly why he couldn't see her like it. It would only make her feel worse after all.
"So… you'll need a break."
She shoved her slippers on, listening to the dragon slayers soft voice, it calming.
But it was having nothing but a negative effect, he was only persuading her to open the door after all, and she wasn't going to give in.
"I don't, just go away."
"Lucy…" There was a single bang on the door like he had decided to rest his fist on the wood.
"Please. It's a bad time. I'm busy."
"It's not about the book is it?"
"What?" She wrapped the blanket over her shoulders and took a few steps away from her bed, moving into the lowly lit hallway, the door facing her clearly. She could even se the shadows underneath where the boy stood.
"You don't get this mad about the book."
"I'm not mad!" She grumbled, finding herself move closer to his voice; like it was beckoning her to move forward without her realising. She did miss him a lot, but it was too much for him to see her in such a state.
"What is it really? You're not going to let me in?"
"I'm tired."
"I thought you were busy."
"Well now I'm tired."
"I have some bread with me that Mirajane made, I could give it you and then we could eat it together."
"No."
"How about I just give you it then, just open the door."
"No."
"Not even that?" His tone changed slightly, it turning into a whining sound, "Come on Luce…"
She frowned, her body all the way to the door now, standing opposite as if she really were having a normal face to face conversation with the boy.
"I miss you." He said quietly.
She looked down at the shadows of his feet. And then she couldn't help, the words just spilled out of her mouth.
"I can't, I'm ugly."
She heard his hand move on the other side of the door, listening quietly to him swallowing.
"What?"
"I don't want you to see my face."
"Ugly?"
"Yes. It's not funny."
"I'm not laughing." He was right, she couldn't hear him laugh, but something was very still about his voice. It wasn't like he found it amusing, but more so that he was offended by her statement as if she had just called him ugly rather than herself.
"Okay… then I'll talk to you later."
"You're not ugly, Luce."
"You can't even see me."
"I don't need to."
"I'm sorry Natsu, I just can't."
"You think I just care about what you look like?"
"This isn't about you Natsu."
"You're saying I can't do anything to help?"
"You definitely can't."
"Okay…"
The room went silent, he was in such a thoughtful mood, she felt a little sad that she was sending such a lovely Natsu away.
"You might feel ugly right now, but it'll pass Lucy."
She rolled her eyes, he didn't get it. Nobody would. She didn't just think she was ugly, she felt it. Just like she knew she wasn't good enough for him to see her.
"I feel ugly next to you a lot."
"What?"
"Yeah, I have so many scars. They ain't goin' away. And my hair-"
"Your hair is beautiful." She said immediately.
"Your opinion doesn't make my mind change."
"Then you should understand well." She grunted darkly. Why was she speaking to him like she was angry? But it was true, if her opinion couldn't change his mind then it went the same way for visa versa.
He sighed gently.
"One day you'll see the Lucy I see. And you'll wonder why you never felt something so strong and beautiful before; maybe it'll even surprise you. You could look like a yeti and it wouldn't change who you are inside, Luce. Beauty is the intelligence you have, beauty is that mark on your hand, beauty is the relationship you have with every one of your keys."
She stared at the floor, just listening to his voice. His words were not making her feel better, nor were they fixing anything. She still looked like this.
"Beauty was meeting you."
