AN: I know I should be updating 'Nasim Joon' but after rewatching "Silly Love Songs," I had to do this…it's Finn and Rachel (sorry my Faberry friends). Guess what, I still don't own Glee.
Finn saw fireworks. He kissed Quinn and saw fireworks. Quinn had said they couldn't have anything, they had to stop until she figured out what was happening between her and Sam. Fireworks meant something though…right?
Rachel was there in the nurse's office. She was saying things about Quinn being beautiful. She was just kind of rambling and Finn wasn't really sure what he should say in response.
"She's prettier than me."
Yes, Quinn was gorgeous…perfect blonde hair, deep hazel eyes, pink lips, amazing body. No doubt, Quinn Fabray was very beautiful…but Rachel, she was beautiful, too. She had nice dark hair, dark chocolate eyes that would suck him in, pretty little lips perfect for kissing, an adorable but totally Rachel kind of nose, and a killer body too. She was petite. She was cute. She was sweet and caring and loved him so much. Yes, she cheated…but it was only a kiss. Isn't that exactly what he had been doing with Quinn?
"Would you stop? You're beautiful." Finn had stated.
It had meant so much to Rachel that he chose her over Quinn. He had still been so hurt about Puck and the baby. It wasn't really even a choice. Quinn had broken his heart and Rachel never would do that…except she did. She cheated too. She kissed Puck. She was supposed to be his safe option, the safety net. He was more popular. She wasn't supposed to leave him. She practically begged him to stay. He was the one who left her, but she left first by kissing Puck…then again he had slept with Santana…but they weren't even together when he did it. And he only did it because she was with Jesse! He didn't even want Santana. He had wanted Rachel.
"Did you kiss her? Like Santana said?" she asked.
No use lying about it. He had it. He had kissed Quinn…but it was just to get the girl out of his system. She had been his first love. She had kissed him. He had to do it again to see if they still had that spark. At the kissing booth it was there. They had a spark. He saw fireworks…but was that really what he wanted? Who he really wanted? Quinn's betrayal had been so much worse…and yet he was pretty sure he loved Rachel more so even if it was just a kiss, it still hurt really bad. But what about the fireworks with Quinn?
"What did it feel like…when you kissed her?"
Did Rachel want to kiss Quinn or something? No, that's not what she meant. Mono was clearly going to his head. She wanted to know if kissing Quinn meant more? Was it better than kissing Rachel? Were the fireworks better?"
"Fireworks," he mumbled.
She looked like she might cry. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He just wanted to tell her the truth. He saw fireworks kissing Quinn. It had been amazing. The danger, the thrill, the cheating. It was exciting. It was different than when he had kissed Quinn while they were together.
"Did you see fireworks when you kissed me?" Rachel asked.
He thought about it. What about that day in the auditorium after their singing lesson? Their first kiss. Had there been fireworks? He started to smile slightly. No, there weren't fireworks. It hadn't been dangerous. It hadn't been thrilling. Sure, he had been cheating…on Quinn. He had cheated on Quinn with Rachel…but it was different than what he had just done with Quinn. It felt right with Rachel. It felt like something he had been made to do. Thrilling in a different way.
Rachel took that as her answer and started to leave.
"Rachel, wait."
She hadn't let him speak. She hadn't really given him time to think. Mono was messing with his head.
"No. It's good. Thank you. You've given me the strength to move on. I know now that there's nothing here for me anymore," Rachel replied softly, trying to stay strong and not break down in tears.
"That's not the truth. I still…I'm just, I'm so confused in my head," Finn confessed.
She wasn't letting him explain. He still loved her. Everything was just a mess.
"No that's okay. I understand. Now I'm free to pursue my dreams without anything holding me back. You've actually inspired my song selection for this week's love song assignment. Feel better Finn," Rachel smiled half-heartedly before leaving.
He sighed and flopped back on the bed. He had messed up again with Rachel. Somehow he always said the wrong thing. If she asked if Santana and Brittany were pretty, he was supposed to be honest right? She'd always got mad about other girls when he was only being honest. He knew he messed up a lot. He knew he hurt her too many times. She kept forgiving him. But he couldn't forgive her for kissing Puck? For doing exactly what he had done with Quinn? For doing what he had done to Quinn with Rachel?
Had he seen fireworks kissing Rachel? No, he hadn't…but fireworks are only there for a second. They burn brightly and then fade quickly. There's the explosion. There's the thrill. There's the excitement…then it's gone. Faded into nothing.
With Rachel there hadn't been fireworks…it had been a slow and steady burn. It had started with a tiny spark of interest. Just the smallest spark that grew and grew. It kept growing until it threatened to consume him whole. She was an inferno. She had consumed him entirely. What he had felt when kissing Rachel was so much more than fireworks.
If Quinn was his Fourth of July, Rachel was every other holiday combined. She was his every day in between. She had been his everything. She trumped fireworks any day…every day.
It would take time. She had a hurt him. He had hurt her. They had spent so much time trying to get it right, he hadn't even realized that they already had. It would definitely take time…but they could get that back. She was so much more than fireworks. He needed her. He needed his every day, his slow burn.
They would work it out. Just when you think you put out the fire, it would spring back up again. That's what happens with a slow burn. It lasts longer. Maybe they could last forever.
AN: There I had to do a Finchel piece at some point. That scene just broke my heart but then after rewatching I realized Rachel really didn't give him a chance to explain anything. I found hope for Finchel...so I had to write about it!