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i cant sleep im 17wks(4 months) pregnant and cant sleep. im scared.
i'm katniss everdeen-mellark, i nearly lost prim, i'm married, peeta,peeta's safe, revolution over, i killed coin, i'm the mockingjay, im scared, peeta's the one i need to keep me sane.
I am awoken by my thoughts by the sound of peeta's muted cries of help. i shake him and he wont awaken.
after a while i finally see his blue eyes staring at me looking lost. "I lost you and I lost her"
'what'd ya mean lost her'. i say grabbing his hand and laying it on my stomach. 'shes right her safe and sound with me and you'. he strokes his hand protectively over my stomach. 'she dissappeared, snow took you both, i didnt know what to do'. All i can do is crawl into a ball and bring peeta close and let him know how safe we feel in his arms.
The next day peeta's brotheres come round to help peeta pack some boxes because we have built our own house in the middle of the meadow for us to raise a family in and leaving our house to prim and my mum. peeta wont let me help him pack because apparentley pregnant women shouldnt stress or lift heavy things, so im stuck at home with prim all day.
'katniss'. i hear the little squeals come from my little sister who apparentley is lucky enough to be hear. she escaped them bombs by the scrape of her teeth. but shes here though, and i dont complain about it.
i plop down next to her and she asks 'hows little toast'.? toast, wait what?
'toast?' i ask showing my confusion.
'yh thats what me and ryeley and james decided to nicname you baby seeing as you and the girl on fire and peeta the boy with the bread mixed together makes toast, so the baby is a toast baby.' i hear peeta and his brothers chuckle in the kitchen.
'okay if thats how you want to play'.
'want to watch some tv as mrs moodswings is too busy being a preggo woman over there is?' prim says innocently to my mum. we kinda mended our friendship and mother-daughter thingy that was going on. my mum just chuckles as i give prim a death glare.' yh, sure why not'.
we sit all around all day tv, prim singing along with the films and theme songs of television shows that are on the tv but i dont find any of it interesting.
we all sit around all day unti everyone has done their job and cleared up and gone home we have tea.'you know... my brothers told me that im lucky i have you and lucky that i didnt get stuck with some one like delly, or worse like my mum...' me and peeta shiver at the thought.
his mum seems distant lately i dont know why she has been doing this lately since she found out i was prenant. wierd.
7 mnths pregnant.
today me an peeta move into our house. ive seen the house from a distance when i walk into totown but thats about it peeta wanted it to be a surprise with all new furniture and decor. apparentley he even did the babies room. we gladly found out what peeta had predicted was right, we are having our own little princess.
we dont know what to name her. so we decided to name her when we meet her so we know it fits.
it may not look like it but the revolution was only over 10 months ago. not even a year without snow has gone by. but i feel as safe as now than ever before because my and peetas princess is going to be the most loved child in all of panem.
'A penny for your thoughts'. im brought out of my thoughts by peetas smooth voice. ' yh i was just thinking about our previous lives and how our future is going to be a lot better'.
'i love you, so much and princess'. says peeta wrappign his arms around my middle from behind. i just melt into him. im home. 'shall we enter my lady'. the house looks like a cottage from the outside. roses up the side in many colours and a play set in the front and a pond.
i walk in the front door and theres a staircase with pictures of our families going up the wall.
the living room is a descent size with pictures of us growing up on the mantle.
its a 3 bedroom house with a bathroom for each room as well incase of guests.
i walk into the babies room and see the colour is mutual a light yellow with butterfly stickers on the wall and a colourful tree. rocking chair, changing mat on the wall with draws underneath and a walk in wardrobe for clothes. shelves with teddies on them and a bathroom with a babies bath and toys. 'it's beautiful'.
'thank you, me and my brothers spent a lot of time on this to make it perfect for you and little madam'. mentions peeta.
8 months pregnant
its just a normal day when peeta and i decide we should take a walk in the back gardens and look at the plants. it happened so quickly. i got a sharp pain in my lower abdomen and turned round. 'kat, is it the baby?.' all i could do was nod my head. 'she's too early im not ready'. peeta helped me walk backinto the house and laid me on the sofa while he rang my mum.
when we got to the hospital it was all hectic. nurses running round and peeta pacing back and forth. as another cntraction hits i grab hold o fpeeta'shand for him to sit and yelploudly it startled him. 'kat, oh how i wish i could swap places with you'. ijuts close my eyes and try rest but its not long before another round of contractions hit me. 'ok you're 8cm just round about 2 hours left and then you can push'. says my midwife. 'kat just breathe... in...out...in'.
-1 hour later-
'9 and a half cm'. claims the midwife
'come on kat not long to go now'. whispers peeta. i cant help but just grip his hand its going purple. i let go slightly and peeta notices. 'no kat squeeze my hand as hard as you like you're pain you can do it i dont mind'. peeta says too calmly.
-30minutes-
'time to push'. finally the words ive waited 10hours to hear. when a sea of contractions hit all i can do is push. push. push. push. and scream. then after what seems for ever. 'its a girl'. the shrillcries from my daughter are in the room. i lay back down as peeta wipes the sweat from my forehead. 'peeta, you want to cut the cord?' peeat leaves while holdin my hand.
he comes back. 'shes beautiful, just like you'.
' we have weighed her and she weighs 7lbs 8oz' claims the doctor. she then lays my daughter in my arms and i look down she has curly dark brown hair and bright ocean blue eyes that i get lost in so easily.
'what are we going to name her?' i ask peeta.
'maybe willow, like willow from the song you sing prim and rue the one your father sang?'
'yh, maybe we should, willow mellark, i love it'.i say to peeta.
'great wilow, what about middle name?.
'how about rose, like primrose so prim's name can be apart of her'. i say
'i love it. willow rose mellark'. replies peeta with a 1,000 watt smile.
i look down at my daughter to see she's sleeping and im broken by my thoughts with a small knock on the door. peeta opens the door and i hear a mumble 'kat are you ready for some visitors', questions peeta. i simply nod my head. peeta opens the door and in come falling in is prim and peeta's brothers, ryeley and james. 'were is she?', i lift her up so she's in their view.
they all come running over. 'what's her name'.askes james. i look to peeta and nod my head and he replies. 'willow rose mellark'. prim squeals 'she has my name'. we all laugh. everyone holds her my dad and mum come to visit and haymitch. Finally peeta's parents come and while peeta's dad is holding willow, peeta's mum starts crying.
we all turn to look at her and she starts saying 'sorry, im so sorry'.
'what are you sorry for?' questions peeta
'everything, i only treated you boys the way i did because i thought if i loved you, knowing our luck i if i shew i loved you it would be harder for you to let me go if you ever got reaped and it would be harder for me aswell. i always loved you i just couldnt show it. i couldnt bare losing you all'. peeta is crying by this point. 'i just want you to know because i want to make it up to you two, katniss im sorry i just thought you were only there to hurt peeta and i'm sorry i was so wrong, if only i got to know you like the boys did'. she got up and hugged peeta and carried on 'and i'm hoping you guys would forgive me and i can show you how a mum should treat her children'. she looks towards me and peeta 'do you forgive me?' she questions
'i forgive you'. i say smilingand look towards peeta. 'it may take some time mum but i will eventually if you can prove it's worth it'. by this point she's holding willow who has slept through everything and peeta's mumis smiling while looking at her.