"Blow out the candles, Sora!" Kairi happily exclaimed, gathering around a square table where Sora's friends and family awaited to start the birthday celebration.
Roxas watched as Sora blew out all the candles on his birthday cake in one breath, laughing and smiling as Riku handed him his first present – a new C.D. Sora's smile grew even bigger as he saw it and Riku's face lit up as he saw how much Sora loved it.
Sora was happy.
He wasn't. Roxas could never be happy.
Roxas could never have a birthday party, because Roxas could never have a birthday. It was the best he could do to sit back in the recesses of Sora's mind and watch the scene through lidded eyes.
Well, he could always pretend.
He could pretend that all these people had gathered to celebrate his birthday. That they all cheered for him when he blew out the candles on his ice cream cake. That Riku and Kairi were smiling for him.
He could pretend that someone cared.
People cared about Sora. Everywhere he went he had people concerned for his well being; whether it was his mother or Aladdin or Ariel. After all, Sora was the Keyblade Master.
But Roxas was only his nobody.
A nobody. In other words, everything that Sora was not. Sora was friendly, popular, and loved by everyone. Sora could feel; Sora had a heart.
The best that Roxas could do was pretend.
But even pretending he had a heart couldn't take the pain away. Because his pain doesn't really exist, because Roxas doesn't really exist.
So Roxas would sit back and watch through Sora's eyes. He saw it all. Sora's mother hugged him and handed him a brand new stereo, in which he played the brand new C.D. Riku gave him. And the whole time, Roxas would pretend the anger and jealousy he was feeling was real.
But it wasn't. He knew that. But there was a way for him to become whole.
If Sora was gone, Roxas would be a somebody. He would fade into somethingness, and Sora's heart would be his.
Roxas would finally be able to feel. He would laugh, smile and cry just as Sora had. No longer would he just be the nobody who watched from the sidelines.
He would finally exist.
So when Roxas finally became whole, the pain he felt when he killed Sora was real.