hello guys we're back !
so this story is the sequel to late night cookout ,so you might wanna read that first . A few things you should know 1.)They're all potty mouths 2.) Jacob is very hormonal 3)Jacob's dad can walk and is very will be at least four chapters updating every week i hope!
*DISCLAIMER* ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYERS .
As I did my nightly rounds on my evening patrol with Sam I started getting this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. As my stomach continued doing what felt like somersaults, I suddenly felt a wave of heat rush over me and before I could think any further my "once breakfast" was now on the ground. As I continued to dry heave, I felt sharp stinging jolts to my chest.
This has to be the worst heartburn of my life. I thought to myself.
Sam hurriedly ran up to me and pointed to my chest in horror. "Holy shit! Your… your nipples! There's six of them!"
"What?" I asked dumbfounded. I looked down and sure enough there they were, clear as day. Six perky nipples perched firmly on my chest.
"What the Fuck?" I screamed whilst pointing to my chest. "When did I get these?"
"Dude, what the fuck?" Sam yelled.
"Why are you yelling at me?" I cried; tears now streaming down my face. "You're so mean!"
"Chill dude, it's okay. I mean, yeah it's kinda weird… fucked up actually, but u need to calm down." Sam replied in a calm voice.
"No! How can I? I have six fucking nipples! And they're really really sore and my tummy feels weird."
"Jake, not to freak you out or anything, but the only other time I seen that happen was when Emily had our cubs last summer." Sam replied.
"Wait… are you trying to say I'm pregnant? Because last time I checked I have a dick! I can show it to you if you want."
"Umm… yeah, thanks but no thanks. I'll take your word for it." Sam said.
"Can I really be pregnant with Edward's baby?" I accidentally asked out loud.
"What?" Sam asked while flashing me a weird look.
"Umm… I mean… Uhh, I have to go talk to my dad." I replied eagerly, as I shifted into my wolf form and ran back to my house.
When I finally arrived at my house, my dad was busy doing his usual yard work. I quickly shifted back to my human form and ran over to him.
"Dad! Dad!" I yelled.
He then turned to me; his eyes grew wide with surprise.
"Put some damn clothes on boy." He ordered. "What the hell? You have six nipples! And why are they leaking? Are you pregnant?"
"Why does everyone think that? I'm a boy!" I yelled.
"Well son, you see… there's something I didn't tell you…"
". . ."
"Well...?" I asked impatiently.
Whatever it was, my dad surely did not want to tell me, I thought. He then quickly turned his gaze from me to the ground and with a heavy sigh began to speak.
"Jacob, when...when you were born, you were born well... "different". And by "different" I mean you were born with a uterus." My jaw instantly dropped and my mind started racing.
"The Dr. assured us that when you were born, since you didn't have an actual "birth canal" that there was nothing to worry about. Well because you were born with a dick. Guess we should probably change doctors now, huh?" He continued.
"Umm... why didn't you tell me this earlier?" I asked in desperation. Why am I so god damn emotional? I thought.
"Don't cry, my son. Mating is a wonderful part of life." My father assured me. "So, who's the lucky guy? I bet it was that Paul kid wasn't it? I always knew he had it in for you." He winked at me.
"No, dad! It wasn't him!" I yelled, my face now red with anger.
"Sam?"
"No!"
"Embry?"
"No, dad!"
"Quil? Jared? Seth?
"No, no and no!"
"Leah?"
"Dad. Leah is a GIRL!" I wailed, feeling very annoyed. "Just stop guessing already! Okay, okay. If you must know… it was Edward. He got me pregnant." I confessed.
"What the Fuck? No son of mine will ever get impregnated by a leech! I don't care that you're gay, but I thought I raised you well enough to know that under no circumstance do you ever, and I mean ever bottom for a bloodsucker! Now get the fuck out of my face. And don't you even so much as think to come back."
"But…but…but dad?" My lip started to quiver.. "I'm your son!" I yelled.
"Not anymore you're not. Now like I said, get the fuck out of my house and don't make me ask you again." He warned as he ran in the house and locked the door behind him.
As I stood alone, my mind wandered to Edward. I have to tell Edward. He's the only one who can help me and love me. That and I also miss his "hotdog" with "ketchup" lots and lots of "ketchup". Ugh. I'm hungry! Without further thought I hopped in the "rabbit" and sped off to Bella's house, knowing without a doubt that Edward would be there.
When I got to Bella's house the door was unlocked so as you can imagine I took full advantage of this. Walking up the stairs to Bella's room, I got a funny feeling and instead, my instincts led me to Charlie's room instead. Duh, I forgot. I'm naked! Guess I'll just borrow some of his. I thought. Now that I was fully clothed I exited the room and slyly crept down the hallway to Bella's room. I slowly opened her bed room door and as it creaked open, my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at the sight in front of me. A half naked Bella and Alice were entangled in one another's arms on her bed. I couldn't help myself, "What the fuck?" I asked to no one in particular.
"Aaahhhh!" Both girls screamed; Bella now falling off her bed.
"Like what the effin' fuck Jake?" Bella yelled.
-TBC-
CONSTRUCTIVE CRISITISM ONLY NO HATERS PLEASE REVIEW
-CRACKISH LOVE
MIMO & BECKY