A/N: I decided to start a funny, and strange, chain of chapters, based on things
happening to the gang of Tales of Symphonia. I got the idea from a few other
writers on this site. They were doing some of the same, but mostly "Alternate
scenes" to the game. Mine are different. I do stories based on regular, everyday
things, and stick the Tales gang into it. Some of you will like this, some won't. I can
only say, that it'll be a fun, and wacky ride. So, if you don't like this sort of thing,
leave now. Otherwise, enjoy!
Chapter 1: A trip to "Uncle Filbert's Super Happy Fun time Petting Zoo And Bait Shop"
Raine: Ok, class! Tomorrow, we are going on a Field...Lloyd! Get that pencil out of your
nose!
Lloyd: Sorry
Lloyd blew the pencil out of his nose and hit Genis in the head
Genis: Ow...explosion!
Genis used explosion and blew up a row of desks, along with 4 students
Raine: Genis, that's enough! As I was saying, we will be going on a Field Trip tomorrow.
We're going to "Uncle Filbert's Super Happy Fun time Petting Zoo And Bait Shop"
Lloyd: Ya! We're going to the bait shop! We're going to the bait shop! We're going...
Genis used explosion again on Lloyd, and killed two students, a puppy, a socket puppet
named Binky, and all of the Backstreet Boys, except Nick Carter
Nick: Ha! Missed!
Genis again, used explosion, and killed Nick Carter
Nick: A.J., I love you...Aghhhh...
Raine: Ahem...as I was saying. We will be going on the Trip tomorrow. I will have Kratos
here, accompany us and keep you in line
Kratos(On his Cell Phone): Hehe! So, Denise, how'd you like last night? Made you forget
all about your ex-boyfriend, eh? So...Oh, crap!
Kratos put his cell phone away.
Raine: You will be coming along to help me, right Kratos?
Kratos: What?...No! I have plans...I have a date!...I...ahem...fine! Give me a minute
Kratos pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number
Raine: Now that all of that is settled, we leave tomorrow!
The bell rung, and the students left. Afterwards, the janitor came in and started sweeping up
the dead kids, and Nick Carter
On the day of the Field trip...
Raine: Ok, everyone on the bus!
Kratos(On his Cell Phone, again): Denise! I said I was sorry! I got dragged into it...I'll
make it up to you...I promise!
Raine grabbed Kratos' cell phone, and started jumping up and down on it
Kratos: Aghhh!...What are you doing, woman! I still had $10 of prepaid minutes on that!
Raine: We're going, Kratos! Get on the bus!
Kratos: ...Tell me again, why I have to come along?
Raine: All of the other parents we busy, and I knew you couldn't refuse me, since I'm SO
persuasive!
Kratos: Damn!
Kratos got on the bus
On the ride there, Kratos sat up front, next to a sick kid. The kid was moaning, and looked
like he was about to throw up.
Kid: Ohhhhh!...ugh...mmmm
Kratos: ...Don't even think about it, kid!
Kid: Ohhhh...
Lloyd and the others were having fun singing songs
Lloyd: Hey, dad! Come sing with us!
Kratos: ...I don't sing...
Lloyd: Oh, come on! It'll be fun! Here we go! This old man, he played 3, he played Nick-
knack on my...
Kratos: ...
Lloyd: ?
Kratos: ...sigh...knee...
Lloyd: Yay! With a Nick-knack-patty-whack, give a dog a bone, this old man came rolling...
Kratos: ...sigh...home...
Lloyd clapped his hands and hugged Kratos
Lloyd: See?! That wasn't so bad!
Kratos looked at Lloyd with a look of confusion
Kratos: Right...
Raine: Ok, everyone! We've arrived!
The bus stopped, and everyone got off the busy. Kratos and the sick kid were all that were
left.
Kid: ...ugh...blaaaaaaa!
The kid puked on Kratos
Kratos: ...Just great!...
Inside, the group saw a sign, above the gate, that read: Have a blast at "Uncle Filbert's
Super Happy Fun time Petting Zoo And Bait Shop"
Underneath that, it read: Gift Shop in Bait Shack...Take home a Fish Hook Earring for
that Special Girl
The group stood in line, waiting to buy tickets.
Colette: I wanna go see the ducklings!
Lloyd: I wanna go see the monkeys!
Kratos: I wanna go home...
Raine looked at the board, to determine prices for everyone
Kids under 10: $5
Teenagers: $15
Adults: $20
Seniors: $12
Elves, Half-Elves, Angels, Members of Cruxis, Traitors, Desians, Renegades,
Anyone from Canada, and Superman: Not getting in! Ha!
Genis: Unbelievable!
Superman: Lousy Secret Identity..."quickly changes clothes in public"...there, now I'm
Clark Kent
Some Canadian Guy: What kind of rule is that, eh?
Kratos: I'm glad I'm not in that group...
The group get up to the Ticket Booth
Lloyd: Yuan?!
Yuan was the ticket keeper
Yuan: The chosen's group?...Oh, Great! Like this day couldn't get any more lousy! My boss
won't give me a lunch break, cause I arrived 5 minutes late. Now I need this! Perfect!
Lloyd: That's a tough break dude! But what's with the bogus rules of pricing?
Yuan: My boss's idea! He found out I was a member of the Renegades, and said that I can't
be allowed into the Petting Zoo
Raine: They'll allow you to work for them, but won't let you use the facilities...pathetic
Yuan: You said it...and Botta isn't in any better position then I am
Yuan pointed over at one of the caged in areas. The group could see Botta, in the horse pen,
scooping out the poop with a large shovel
Botta(Singing): Cleaning up the poop! Cleaning up the poop! I'm wallowing in horse
manure...and cleaning up the poop!
Lloyd: Poor Guy!
Colette: It's horrible!
Yuan: You said it...Hey! I just got a great idea! To get back at my boss, you can all go in for
free!
I'm going be fired anyways, when he finds out what I accidentally did to his Secretary, when
I though she was Yggdrasill! Go on in!
Lloyd: Wow! Now we can see the Monkey's for free!
The group ran through the gate
Superman: That's more like it!
Some Canadian Guy: Now we can go see all the animals, eh?
Yuan: You guys can't come in, though!
Both: Awwwww...
Inside, the group went their separate ways. They left in groups of two
Lloyd, Genis and Sheena made their way over to the Monkey Cages
Sheena: You know, they say that Monkey's are our closest Ancestors
Lloyd: Boring! What else is on?
Genis: You get bored, way too easily!
Lloyd looked up at one of the monkey's in the cage, and saw it eating a banana
Lloyd: Hmmm?...Hey, monkey! I want that banana! Give it to me!
Monkey: Ook-akk!(No way!)
Lloyd: Oh, come on! I got some cool things to trade you for it...Let's see...
Monkey: Ooo?(Huh?)
Lloyd felt in his pockets, and pulled out a bunch of junk
Lloyd: Ok, lets see...we have a bottle cap, a stick of gum, 34 cents in pennies, a naked
picture of Genis...
Genis: Huh?
Lloyd: ...a used kleenex, 3 Elvis Stamps, Sheena's Birth Certificate, stating that I'm her
brother, and a few stale Corn chips...What do you say, Monkey?!
Monkey: Ukkk!(No!)
Lloyd: Oh, come on, you stupid Monkey!
Genis: How did you get a naked picture of me?
Sheena: ...Are you seriously my brother?...But...I have feelings for you...Damn!
Lloyd was busy trying to get the banana out of the monkey's hand
Lloyd: Give the banana, monkey! Give me it! Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!
Genis and Sheena argued, while Lloyd tried to get the monkey's banana. Watching, not too far
away, was Kratos. He and Colette were in the Duck pond. Colette was having fun, feeding the
little, baby Ducklings. Kratos was just standing there, as a few baby Ducklings, waddled by his
feet
Kratos: ...Why did I have to come?
We now join Presea and Regal, in the pen of Goats and Lambs
Regal(Sniffing the air): This place is highly unsanitary!
Presea: Yes, it is...but look at all the pretty animals!!!
Presea ran around and chased some of the baby Goats. Regal went to sit down on one of the
benches, just inside the door...and sat down in a pile of Goat dung
Regal: Oh, come on!!! I can't &!$ believe my &#$! luck! What are the $&! odds!
Only a few feet away, a little boy, only about 5 years old, stood in horror, at Regal's sudden
outburst
Little Boy(Sniveling): Uhhh...ehhhhh...
Regal: What are you staring at, kid? ARGHHHHHHH!!!
Little Boy: AHHHH! Mommy!
The little boy ran away. Regal sighed, deeply
Presea was busy, with some food, feeding the Goats and Lambs
Presea: You are all so, cute!
One goat that was wandering around, made it's way over to Presea and joined in on the
feasting. Presea smiled at it, and then looked shocked
Presea: ...Alicia? Is...is that really you?
Goat: Bahhhh...
Presea: Alicia! It really is you! You've come back to me! Alicia!
Presea tried to hug the Goat, but it ran away
Presea: Alicia! Don't leave me again! Come back!
Presea ran after the Goat
Raine was busy sitting up in the Cafe, where she can see all of the Petting Area, and stared
out of the window
Lloyd: Give me the banana, you damn Monkey!
Monkey: Akkkkkkk!(NO!)
Kratos: Leave me alone, you little feather brains!
Baby Duckling: Quak!
Presea: Alicia! Come back! Alicia!
Goat: BAHHHHH!
Raine: ...I think this trip is about over...
Raine gathered up the group...(don't ask me how)...and got them all on the bus
Raine: Well, that sure was an interesting Field Trip!...
Lloyd: I never even got my banana...
Presea: I never got to say goodbye to Alicia! I lost her again! Wahhhh!
Colette: Well, I had a good time!
Everyone: Oh, shut up!!!
Colette was able to adopt some of the baby Ducklings. There were so many, that Kratos had
to hold on to some of them. He had them in his lap
Baby Ducklings: Quak! Quak! Quak! Quak!
Kratos: ...Can someone please tell me, why I had to come?...
The End