NOTES- Sly Cooper and related characters are property of Sucker Punch. Pot noodle and Pop Tarts belong to their owners. The story and other characters are property of Nee. This fic takes place in between Sly Racoon and Sly 2. This is Nee's first real attempt at fanfiction so if it sucks tell Nee what needs work. It's the only way Nee'll learn... Nee really needs to work on not speaking third person.
Ch1 - "Woah Intro"
"Ahhh Argentina. The country that gave the world the Tango. Home to the world's best polo players and now home to three precious gems that could buy you a small island. Hi, I'm Scott Crawford of SCES News, speaking to you from outside the Argentina National Museum in the beautiful city of Buenos Aires, where the latest additions are creating quite a bit of a stir. Police from every corner of the globe have been called in to oversee tomorrow's unveiling of the three gems of Captain Ville appraised at 157 million dollars US. I have here with me Mr Howard Kellerman, Museum Curator and Inspector Carmelita Fox, Head of Security for the event. Now Mr Kellerman..."
"Hey! Forget the old guy, show Carmelita again!" Sly shouted at the TV with a stupid grin on his face. With Bentley and Murray out meeting up with the distraction for the next day, Sly had taken to the couch so he could watch SCES's special on tomorrow's heist. Who needed recon photos when the news can walk where ever they want. So far they had done a bio of old Cap Ville, talked to the guys who discovered the shipwreck that had housed those stones for three and a half centuries, as well as the history of the gems. Each had come from different cities now lost in today's world, Sly had to marvel at the names people gave these poor cities, Ramtuc, Scotra and Fuzelflop. Who named this things? Bentley had told Sly that the cities were named by the people who first found clues to their existence, although Sly found it hard to believe that a serious historian would call a city Fuzelflop. "Oh well, like "Old Copper Eye" Cooper once said, "A gem by any other name, would still sell for as much", Sly chuckled to himself.
"... thank you very much for your time Mr Kellerman. Now Inspector Fox..."
Sly attention snapped back to the TV, "Here we go", he said with a smirk.
"... could you perhaps take us through some of the security procedures?"
Sly couldn't believe it, they weren't seriously going to give away the security plans. If they did that, he'd have to call off the heist. There was no point, no fun if they showed him the answers to the exam before the test. However Sly's fears were quickly put to rest by the look Carmelita shot the reporter.
"Do you honestly expect me to answer that? This is an international event. Diplomats from every corner of the globe are attending this opening, all of whom are looking to me and my department to make sure no one makes off with the main attraction. So in answer to your question, no I can't take you and every thief watching this show though security procedures." said Carmelita. Although she hadn't shouted at Crawford, she, her icy demeanour and pure common sense had showed him up on national TV.
The poor news reporter stood still for a moment, contemplating his next question, not wanting to make a bigger prat of himself than he had already.
"Then perhaps you could explain what an active Interpol officer is doing arranging security for this opening, when the job could have been done by an independent security firm?"
"I have already stated that Diplomats from every corner of the globe are attending this event. It is safer for them and the gems if we know the background of everyone working on this, Interpol officers are more obviously more trustworthy than a bunch of police academy dropouts who could sell the security plans to some guy they meet down the pub."
Sly was enjoying this. Not only was the every lovely Miss Fox getting the air time she so richly deserved, she was using it to publicly embarrass one of the most annoying voices of SCES News.
"Oh, I see, that's the story is it?", said Scott who was smiling a little to much for someone who just been made a fool of twice, as if he'd led Carmelita into a trap.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I was just thinking, as I sure some of our viewiers are thinking, does Interpol giving you this assignment have any thing to do with your inability to capture world renowned super thief Sly Cooper?", Carmelita stood silent, he wasn't going to give her a momemt to think of a response, "Is that what happened, Miss Fox? The fact you have chased Cooper without a break in the case for Lord knows how long now, too much for the top brass?" The Inspector was now biting her bottom lip and clenching her fists, "Or are we led to believe Cooper has had his case shelved, are Interpol giving up? Have you?" A vein on Carmelita's head looked like it was going to blow.
Having seen the vixen's foul temper first hand, Sly was worried that Inspector Fox would do something her chief wouldn't be happy seeing on a TV special (despite the fact the guy deserved it). Another thought entered the racoon's mind, had Carme been taken off his case? Had they had their last dance in the moonlight?... Well to be fair it had almost never involved dancing, but it's a nice way to remember the chases and the small battles of wits they had.
After a deep intake of breath and a very brief moment to collect herself after the barrage of questions, Carme spoke as if reading a preperpared statement.
"The case to which you're referring is still my investigation, however many of the leads have dried up due to the Cooper gang's state of inactivity in recent months. It would be a waste of Interpol's time and resources, not to mention tax payers money, to pursue the case until new leads present themselves. That ringtail maybe the world's best thief but he's not it's only thief, so me and my department cannot chase after one criminal and let the rest have their way with the world. As you should be aware, the prevention of theft is also a police matter. It is easier to stop theft from taking place than it is to catch a thief after the event."
"Okay... either she's being taking some anger management classes or that's exactly what the chief said to her when she first refused to play security guard", Cooper thought aloud, happy to hear their Tango would continue but a little disappointed he hadn't seen Carmelita give Scott Crawford a bloody nose. "Oh well, maybe I can Ninja Spire Jump his head tomorrow."
"Yes I suppose that's true, thank you Inspector Fox. And now let's go over to Raquel to hear more about that forecast for tomorrow's big day..." With that the 'coon clicked the remote and bid adieu to the fair Miss Fox for the evening. Bentley and Murray would be back from Palermo soon and it was Sly's turn to get dinner. Getting himself off the couch which he had spent the last few hours with, the young thief decided to take a look in the hideout's kitchen before ordering the pizza.
"Lets see, lets see. Pop tarts... nope, Pot noodle... maybe, rice and... thats it. Hm you think with a Hippo about the place we'd keep more in stock." The cupboard Sly was looking in was like something out of Old Mother Hubbard, "Oh hi Murray, no Bentley I haven't got dinner yet."
The hippo looked confused. For weeks now the big guy had been trying to sneak up on his striped tailed friend. Every time he or Sly split up to run errands or something, "The Murray" would try to get the drop on Sly and every time Sly would say hi before Murray even got close. It had never occurred to the hippo that if his thieving buddy could hear a bottle "plinking" several roof tops away, he'd have no trouble hear a hippo walking around on a wooden porch.
"Hey Sly, where are ya?"
"In the kitchen Murray, You guys done with the heist's distraction?"
"Yep!" Murray grinned."The Murray and his trusting sidekick "Green Brain" have succeeded, you have nothing to worry about civillian." Except for a pink hippo thinking he's a superhero. "What for dinner? "The Murray's" mighty appetite knows no bounds."
"With the stuff here, a pop tart and rice sandwich in a light pot noodle sauce... which when I think about it doesn't sound half bad." Sly said after thinking about his idea.
"Sounds good to "The Murray", civillian."
"Sounds revolting to The Bentley."
The sizeable and surprised hippo turned to see that the gang's third member had made it into the hideout without him noticing. How was he going to become a master thief like his pal if he couldn't even hear the clumsy footfalls of their shelled friend. Sly also looked surprised, not because he hadn't heard Bentley, the racoon had heard the turtle's muttering to himself every since Sly had greeted him with news that dinner was not ready yet. No, Sly was surprised by the fact Bentley could look greener then he already was.
"No, no, no, Bentley! Your name is "Green Brain". It doesn't sound right if we're both called "The" something."
"We'll discuss codenames later. But first let's talk about how one of the world's best thieves can even consider putting Pot noodle in his mouth the evening before a big heist."
"One Of? My business card reads World's best thief." Sly produced one of his world famous calling cards to prove his statement.
"I know," Bentley said, rubbing his temples, "I'm the one who makes them up for you, remember?"
"Besides, what's wrong with pot noodle?"
"THE TASTE ISN'T ENOUGH FOR YA?" Bentley had forgot for a moment he was talking to a racoon, remembering a 'coon can and will eat anything it finds. Taking a deep breath Bentley calmed himself, "Okay how about the fact Pot noodle has little to no nutritional value?"
"So?" Sly had a "Who cares" look on his face.
"It can stay in your system for years."
"Can! Not does, Can!"
"Noodles give Murray gas!"
"...Let's get takeout." Sly said after Bentley played the trump card (literally). There was no way Sly could ride in the van with a gassy Murray when there was a possiblity of later meeting the one and only Carmelita Montoya Fox. 'Shame... I fancied Pot Noodle' Sly thought as he picked up the phone. 'The things one does for love'.