Mistake

by Lady Esoteric

Her birth caused destruction. Her existence brought in problems. Her soul itself was never made to be pure. She was raised in ways of which one could never imagine. Was she not meant to be?

Prologue

I had done it. I had finally done it.

After nine back-aching, belly-jerking and hair-pulling months, my little young one was finally released from its enclosed casing that had shielded it from the rest of the world.

There was no one here now, to see me in this wretched state; with my eyes puffy from salty tears, the pool of blood under me, my hair in a mess and my clothes drenched in a sticky, hot liquid.

I had cried out in pain; bawled out with all my heart to Heaven, as I knew, that this devil should never have been born.

From that moment when I knew I was pregnant with you, I had thought things would go downhill.

But I have never been more wronged in my life.

Here I am, holding you gingerly in my outstretched arms, cuddling you against my chest. A warm motherly feeling blossoms inside me as I gaze at your tiny figure, squirming and helpless as you open your small, thin mouth to take in your first breath of the early morning air.

Yes, little one, you are one of the very few that are born at midnight.

I have had many countless dreams, about you and me alone together, travelling across the world, enticing the different sights and sounds, taking in the wonderful scenery around us.

I had dreamed that you would be born on an enchanted cushion of rose petals as I held you lovingly.

I had dreamed that you would lead a life, completely different from mine, filled with laughter and joy. I would never want you to experience the horrible feeling of heartbreak. I would never want you to go through what I had, to cry all the tears that I had spilled before, to collapse to the ground like how I did when my love of the world threw me aside.

I had dreamed I could protect you forever.

I had dreamed that I promised you we'd always be together.

And I had dreamed.

You had a father.

But now, I know that I cannot protect you forever, there would be no such promise that we'd always be together, your life would not be filled with joy and laughter and you would never, have a father.

I wish I could hold you like this and be by your side every day. To be like any ordinary mother.

But I am afraid I cannot.

I can only wish that you do not tread in my footsteps.

Goodbye, my little one.