Prompt: Kirk/McCoy, telephone
A/N: I used the prompt term telephone to reference the children's game wherein you pass along a message via multiple players and see how comprehensible the message is once everyone has heard and repeated it.
Less Funny In Space
Leonard glanced up from his PADD when Jim walked into his office without signaling and collapsed in the spare chair. Leonard finished chewing the mystery protein that was currently masquerading as chicken aboard ship before greeting him. "Afternoon, Jim."
"Okay, we've got to get the internal comm systems back up and running, Bones, this is ridiculous." Jim slouched in the chair and rubbed both hands over his face with groan.
"I'm having a fine day, Jim, thanks for asking."
Jim dropped his hands and glared. "Smart ass."
"Does this make you the pot or the kettle?"
"Is the Enterprise's latest hiccup wearing on your already, Jim? Do tell."
"How about I give you an example." Jim sighed and eyed Leonard's plate. "What was the message you asked Nurse Chapel to get to me?"
"I asked her to tell you that when you have time, I want to see you in my office. Which apparently worked since you're here now. What's the problem?"
"Because apparently Chapel got caught up treating one of the engineers in the mess who ate a misplaced peanut and had to ask Chekov to pass the message along."
"Okay..." Leonard still didn't see cause for Jim's frustration.
"Well, Chekov was just stopping by the mess long enough to grab a sandwich since he's still neck deep in various ships consoles with Scotty, so he asked Scotty to tell you the next time he gave an update on the repair progress. But then something apparently caught fire and Scotty couldn't leave, so he told Ensign Torday to tell Sulu to give me the message, since Sulu was heading up to the bridge for his shift anyways."
Leonard's eyebrows were raised and the corner of his mouth twitched as he fought off a smile.
"I'm not done yet." Jim grabbed a carrot stick from Leonard's plate and crunched on it as he continued recounting the paths Leonard's message had taken. "Sulu was waylaid by Lieutenant Giotto so he asked Spock to pass along your request."
"And?" Leonard had to admit that he was curious at this point.
"Spock informed me, in front of the entire bridge, that you apparently wanted to 'maim my codpiece' and then proceeded to question me at length as to the meaning of such an odd request, as well as inform me that unnecessary chatter was not encouraged in our current yellow alert state and would only serve to distract necessary crew members from their duties.
Leonard didn't even bother to hide his snicker.
"Yeah, laugh it up. Uhura did too. She did, however, manage to help me parse the message once she'd finished though. She somehow managed to take 'Dr. McCoy wants to maim your codpiece,' trace it back through the various messengers, examine the likely accent and dialect barriers as well as likely misinterpretations, and came up with 'Dr. McCoy would like to see you in his office.'"
"Thank goodness for Nyota then." Leonard smiled again when Jim scowled at his use of the lovely Lieutenant's given name. "So this has been happening all day?"
"Yup." Jim sighed. "So what did you need to see me about?"
Leonard shook his head. "After all that, I don't even recall."
Jim just glared at him and stole the rest of his lunch in retaliation.