The bottle spun on the floor in slow motion. Kurt could see it slowing down and he KNEW it was going to land on him. He took a quick sip from his martini glass. "Courage", he thought to himself, smiling, and he watched as the bottle made its final spin on the floor. He risked a peek at Blaine and found himself looking straight into his eyes. This was really going to happen. He wouldn't have picked this as the grand setting of an epic-ly romantic first kiss that they could tell their Louis Vutton-clad grandchildren about from their rocking chairs. But as he looked into Blaine's eyes he knew that this was the beginning. He watched Blaine smile at him and his face lit up. He could see it. Their future.
He looked down at the bottle.
It slowed.
And it stopped.
On Rachel.
Kurt's stomach dropped. He had to hold onto the wall to make sure he was still the right way up. Blaine winked at him and laughed, cracking open a fifth beer. Kurt tried to smile back, but his face wasn't working. He watched as Blaine took a huge swig from his bottle and made his way towards Rachel.
"Not who I thought I'd be kissing!" he laughed and Rachel smiled.
"He's drunk," Kurt told himself plastering a smile on his face. He watched as their lips met and his chest felt so heavy he wondered if he was having a stroke.
They kissed.
And kissed.
And kissed.
Kurt felt like every second of that kiss was tearing him in two. Blaine's hand in Rachel's hair. Blaine's lips. Kurt was so close he could see Blaine's pulse beating at the base of his neck, could watch it speed up as he kissed someone else.
Kurt suddenly had to look anywhere. Anywhere but in front of him.
His eyes travelled to the doorway where Finn stood open-mouthed. He looked like Kurt felt. Finn might be completely Kurt's opposite most of the time, but Kurt caught his eye and in that moment, they were brothers and they felt each other's heartbreak.
Finally the two broke apart laughing. Then Rachel caught sight of Finn and she shut up.
"Okay! I think we've seen enough!" Kurt managed to laugh, and he hoped it didn't come out as croakily as it had sounded in his throat. Blaine laughed and came towards him.
"Kuurth," he slurred. "You're so funny! Isn't he funny?" he asked Rachel, (who had still not taken her eyes off Finn) tapping her insistently on the arm.
Rachel started to cry.
"Aww, don't cry, Ra-Ra-Rachel," Blaine stumbled over her name. Then he turned to Kurt, "Did I make her cry?" he stage-whispered.
"Am I that bad at kissing, Rachel? Rachel? Rachel?" Blaine said, tapping her again.
"Come on!" Kurt ordered. "Up!" he said, and he hoisted Blaine up by the arms and frog-marched him to the doorway.
"I believe that's yours?" Kurt said to Finn pointing at Rachel on his way out.
"Aww, man! Sorry I made your girlfriend cry! She's a really good kisser!" Blaine called.
"Blaine!" Kurt barked, annoyed, "Know when to shut up! Jeez!"
Kurt walked a resistant Blaine to the kitchen, sat him on a stool and handed him a glass of water from the tap.
"Drink it all!" he ordered sternly, and Blaine seemed to have enough wits left to do what he was told. Kurt watched Blaine drink. A trickle of water had escaped the glass in his drunken unco-ordination and Kurt watched transfixed as it travelled from the side of Blaine's mouth to his chin. It dropped and fell into his lap. Kurt felt sick. Blaine was drunk, and he felt like he was preying on him while he was vulnerable. Blaine finished the water and looked at Kurt.
"I kissed a GIRL!" he said, incredulously.
"Yep," Kurt answered, refilling his glass and handing it back to him.
Blaine swigged the water quickly.
"I'm sorry." He said quietly.
"What for?" Kurt laughed, refilling the glass. "We're just friends, remember? It doesn't mean anything to me whether you make out with everyone here!" He turned his face as he handed Blaine the water. "Drink this one, and then you can go back in and keep playing. You know there's almost a whole Glee club out there for you to kiss yet!" he joked and left Blaine sitting alone in the kitchen, his face crumpling as he walked.
Kurt couldn't handle going to the living room. He knew Finn would be out there with Rachel and he couldn't look at either of them right now. He needed to gather himself together and calm down. He knew people did crazy things when they were drunk. Blaine was gay, he shouldn't feel jealous.
On a whim he headed for Rachel's room. He felt so comfortable in this room. He had been in here so many times, listening to Rachel belt out so many show tunes and Glee assignments. He looked around at the walls. One wall was devoted to framed photos. There was a picture of Kurt and Rachel at Sectionals after they had tied. Kurt in his Warblers uniform and Rachel pinching his cheek. They looked so happy. He wasn't mad at Rachel, he couldn't be. The girl was a complete disaster.
Kurt wandered over to a keyboard in the corner. He switched it on and played a few notes. He needed to sing now. He had to get rid of this bitterness and just be able to be happy when he rejoined the group. He flipped through a stack of sheet music Rachel had left sitting there. Most of them were stalker-y love songs she had been singing "absentmindedly" in hallways whenever she knew Finn was around on the bizarre hope he might join in. Kurt had caught her singing "I honestly love you" under the bleachers at the football practice on Thursday. Kurt's eyes fell on a song he hadn't heard in years.
Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Kurt finished and heard something behind him.
He spun quickly.
Blaine was lying on Rachel's bed watching him.
"Beautiful," he said quietly, and for a moment Kurt wasn't sure whether he was talking about the song or him. "You never sing anymore." he said quietly.
"I just needed to get away from the inebriation for a minute!" he laughed getting up. "Why aren't you out there?"
Blaine looked sad.
"Rachel's trying to get everyone to do karaoke. I feel sorry for her. She's really not very popular with those kids, is she?"
Kurt smiled and shook his head. "They're fond of her… VERY deep down. Come on. Let's go help her out."
Kurt was trying everything he could to not be alone with Blaine. He was sure it would show on his face, and he didn't want their friendship to be any more strained than it already was. Blaine followed him down the hallway and Rachel leapt out at them from the living room.
She grabbed Blaine by the hand and yanked him towards the microphone she had set up in front of the TV. Kurt felt his stomach drop again, but he managed to force out a loud laugh and found a place on the couch next to Finn. He looked at him and Finn shrugged uncomfortably.
Rachel and Blaine were whispering to each other and Blaine searched through the machine till he came to the song he wanted.
The strains of the music started and Blaine was staring at Rachel. She shook her head and he grabbed her hand. Kurt just kept looking at their hands. Kurt wasn't angry, but Rachel was getting all the "firsts" he had wanted with Blaine in one night.
"Oh God," Kurt muttered to himself as he recognised the techno introduction.
Blaine started singing and Kurt didn't care anymore. It was so unfair how he could mesmerise Kurt with just a look and a song. "Wait… he's looking at me!" he thought. The moment Blaine had started to sing, he had locked eyes with Kurt and Rachel was staring at Finn intensely.
You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up, and turned you around
Turned you into someone new
Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet
Success has been so easy for you
But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too
Don't, don't you want me?
You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me
Don't, don't you want me?
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me
It's much too late to find
You think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me oh
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me oh
I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
That much is true
But even then I knew I'd find a much better place
Either with or without you
The five years we have had have been such good times
I still love you
But now I think it's time I lived my life on my own
I guess it's just what I must do
Don't, don't you want me?
You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me
Don't, don't you want me?
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me
It's much too late to find
You think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me oh
Don't you want me baby? Don-
Blaine fell over.
He'd been strutting around with Rachel while the two of them tried to 'serenade' the stepbrothers sitting on the couch. But as he tried to close with a big finish, his feet hadn't kept up with him in his drunken state and he fell onto the ground.
He laughed. Rachel laughed at him and fell down next to him. They lay there in hysterics and Kurt looked at Finn. "Home time?" he muttered. Finn just nodded. He looked shocked that Rachel had gotten so drunk, but he had to be brain-dead if he didn't know how Rachel felt.
So why was Blaine so drunk?
The thought hit Kurt as he pulled Blaine to his feet for the second time that evening. Blaine's arms clung to him a little bit longer than was necessary, but Kurt didn't dare let himself even think it.
"Come on! We're going home now! Rachel, this has been lovely," he smiled at her, but she just looked heart-brokenly at Finn with those puppy-dog eyes.
"You're going too?" she whispered.
Finn looked at Kurt and back at Rachel. "No. No I'll stay," he said, pulling Rachel to her feet.
"Guys it's time to leave!" he called out to the rest of the club. "We're all tired and we need to get up early for school tomorrow," he said sternly.
Puck and Lauren looked up from the corner where they had been firmly ensconced the entire evening kissing. They all looked around and shrugged and began to straggle out.
"Great party, Rachel!" called someone and they ran down the street.
Kurt looked at Finn who had gotten Rachel a glass of water and was holding the glass for her as she sipped, cuddled up next to him on the couch.
"You'll be okay?" he mouthed at Finn.
He nodded and smiled down at Rachel.
Kurt smiled back. At least someone might get their happy ending tonight! Kurt looked at Blaine who was still holding onto his shoulder for support.
"You'll be okay?" Finn mouthed at him, nodding towards Blaine, with a smirk on his face.
Kurt felt his face go red.
"Come on, Blaine. We're going home!" he said loudly and the two left.
Later at home, Kurt couldn't sleep. How could he, knowing that a few metres away, Blaine was lying in Finn's bed? In the dark, he couldn't see his face, but he could see the outline of his body, rising and falling with each deep breath. He slept on his side.
He had simply fallen onto the bed when they'd gotten home, and Kurt had had to take off his shoes and socks and tuck him in. He'd considered whether he would be comfortable in his skinny jeans, but that opened up a whole can of worms in his mind and he figured it was safer to leave Blaine fully clothed.
He had a boy in his room, he thought to himself and smiling slightly. And not just any boy. Kurt forced himself to take his eyes off Blaine's silhouette and close his eyes.
Before he knew it, he was asleep.
"Coffee?" Blaine moaned in his ear.
Kurt woke up with a jolt. Blaine was sitting in the chair beside his bed, his hair wet and curly and messy and a towel wrapped around his shoulders. "Sorry, I HAD to have a shower," he said.
"Errr.. No… That-That's fine!" Kurt said, sitting up.
Blaine wasn't wearing a shirt.
"Hgh!" Kurt made a guttural noise in his throat quite involuntarily. "Just…Wait… Just… I'll…" Kurt stuttered struggling to look him in the eyes.
"Shower," He said firmly and almost ran to the ensuite bathroom.
"What about the coffee?" called Blaine desperately, "I NEED caffeine!"
"Give me ten minutes!" Kurt called staring at himself in the mirror.
Blaine laughed.
"Yeah, right! And the rest!" he laughed and Kurt heard him go to the closet and take out the uniform he'd left there before the party.
Kurt couldn't stop looking around the bathroom.
Blaine had been naked in this room. He'd shared a bathroom with Finn for almost a year and he'd never even thought about that. But the whole room seemed sexualised somehow.
Kurt struggled to take his shower, thinking of Blaine sitting in his room, but he managed to have his shower and dress and perfect his hair in less than half an hour which was a new record.
"Ready?" he said breathlessly as he opened the bathroom door.
Blaine was sitting on his bed in his uniform, with his perfect hair. He smiled at him. "Ready!"
In the line at the Lima Bean before school, Blaine suddenly looked thunderstruck.
"What?" Kurt said worried.
"Did? Did I? Did I kiss Rachel last night?" Blaine demanded, horrified.
Kurt laughed.
"Yep. Rock bottom!" he joked as Blaine clutched his face in his hands as if trying to claw the memory from his brain.
"Oh, gross," Blaine moaned. "I mean, nothing against Rachel, but… ew!" he shuddered.
"If it helps, you seemed to enjoy it!" joked Kurt taking his coffee from the barista and heading for their usual table. Kurt was happier now he could see Sober-Blaine's reaction to the kiss. But it only reminded him that one way or the other, he had no reason to be jealous. They were friends. They were Harry Met Sally.
And he was the saddest Meg Ryan in the world.
"You saw it."
Blaine sat down across the table with his coffee. He was serious.
"I think the whole glee club saw it!" laughed Kurt.
"No." Blaine shook his head and took Kurt's coffee from his hand and held the hand tightly. "YOU saw it?"
Kurt nodded. He had no idea what was going on in Blaine's head.
"I'm sorry," Blaine shook his head, "Kurt, I'm so sorry."
"What for?" Kurt asked, bewildered. "Stop apologising! You can kiss whoever you want remember? Harry? Sally?" Kurt pointed at them.
Blaine was silent, but he didn't release Kurt's hand.
"Blaine?" Kurt said quietly.
"They get together in the end," whispered Blaine, staring at the table.
Kurt didn't know what to say. The coffee shop had suddenly melted away and they were the only two in it.
"What?" Kurt whispered back, not daring to hope.
"You wanted me to ask you out on Valentine's Day, and I mucked it up. And now I wanted to ask you out and I got so nervous I drink too much and kiss a girl! Kurt, I totally understand if you never want to talk to me again. God, I'm such a screw-up!" Blaine put his head in his hands. Kurt couldn't speak.
"I just… we FIT, Kurt. Sometimes I wonder how I ever liked Dalton before you showed up. You walk into a room and I feel happier. And I just didn't notice, and I didn't want you to be forced into anything, but then you said that stuff about Valentine's Day and I haven't been able to think about anything else for weeks." Blaine's voice was muffled because he kept his face in his hands, but Kurt had heard every word.
"Harry?" Kurt said, smiling. Blaine's head shot up. His eyes met Kurt's and they smiled at each other. "You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you, and I hate you, Harry. I really hate you. I hate you." Kurt had memorised that line years ago.
"Really?" Blaine smiled. "I hate you too. If by hate you mean love." He smiled.
Kurt grabbed Blaine's hands and took a deep breath. "Are you saying you want to go out?" Kurt grinned. Blaine pulled Kurt's hands towards him and leant forward. Kurt knew what was about to happen, and he started to laugh.
"What?" Blaine murmured, so close to Kurt's face he could feel the movement of his words on his face.
"Oh, just shut up and kiss me," Kurt said impatiently, and Blaine moved forward, claiming Kurt's lips as his own. Blaine tasted like toothpaste and coffee and Kurt loved the way it felt to be able to kiss him, finally.
The two broke apart and breathlessly looked at each other.
"What were you laughing at?" Blaine asked worriedly.
Kurt smiled at his boyfriend.
"I'm happy," he grinned pulling Blaine towards him again.
The boys giggled and kissed again.