Quietly tip-toeing out of her house, Steph closed the door behind her. She turned her back and slid down the door, the cold, crisp air bit at her cheeks. She sighed, she knew she wasn't supposed to be doing this.
So what if she was sneaking out? She's eighteen. An adult. She can do whatever she wants. But it felt so wrong. But she liked that feeling. The rush. The thrill of thinking you might get caught, or that's she's in a tight situation where she just might have to admit to her mom or Bruce, or Dick, or...Tim, that she's sneaking out to meet Jason. She doesn't even want to think of what they're reactions would be. Just probably that he's dangerous, yadda, yadda, yadda. Sure they'd be disappointed. She could handle it. Well, she could handle Dick, Bruce, and her mom being mad at her. But Tim...?
It's not the sneaking out part that bothers her. She's done that many times before, when she was dating Tim. But this was different. She was sneaking out to meet someone dangerous. Well, not completely dangerous. Sure he killed, but it was for good. It was too clean up Gotham. And it helped, and was affecting Gotham way faster than Batman or the rest of the Bat Family could do. But it was too easy. Jason was cleaning up Gotham the easy way. And it was wrong to kill. Even if they deserved it. So was he even worth sneaking out to if he was so bad?
But she couldn't and shouldn't think of that right now. Jason'll be waiting for her, so Steph got up, and started walking to meet Jason.
They always wore their civvies and stayed in dark allies, in fear (more like Steph's fear) that someone from the Bat Family would see them. She couldn't risk getting kicked out of the Family. She worked her ass to just get accepted by SOMEONE. Anyone. Cass excepted her. Probably only because she was her best friend, so that didn't count. Now Tim, Dick, and Bruce now that he's alive. He even gave her acceptance to be Batgirl, and at that moment she finally felt in place. In the right place, and not alone.
So again, was Jason worth losing all of that? She wasn't sure.
She just needed to focus on Jason and only Jason. And that's exactly what she did when she finally reached him. He spotted her and looked up, "Hey Pretty Bird."
Steph half-smiled, "Hey Jay Bird."
He closed the space around them, wrapped his arms around her waist, and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "I've missed you. Been thinking about you all day," and he bit her ear.
Steph moaned, "I missed you too," as she rubbed herself up and down against Jason.
"Mmmm," Jason groaned, pushing Steph against the wall he said, "Keep doing that."
But Steph pulled away from his grip, the mood ruined because of her earlier thought plaguing her, "Jay...are we...together? Like boyfriend and girlfriend? Do you care that much about me?"
He sighed, "I don't know. If we were, you wouldn't care what Daddy Bat, Dickie Bird, and Baby Bird thought. And yes. I do care that much about you.
Steph ran her hand through her hair, I know! I know I shouldn't!" she said completely ignoring what he said after, "It's just..."
"I'm not good enough for you? Right?" he asked accusingly.
Steph looked up shocked, "NO! No, Jason. It's just why do they have to know? You don't care about them, so why should you even care? I mean you don't associate with them! Hell, you want Bruce dead! Along with Dick and Tim!"
"Yeah but I don't want to keep staying a fucking alley every night!" Jason punched the wall, leaving a dent on the wall and his knuckles bloody, "Dammit Steph, I love you! Is that not enough?" And Jason started to walk away but then turned around, "Maybe I shouldn't care what they think, but YOU associate with them. YOU care what they think. So that makes me kind of care about them. And plus, they're my family. My only family, it should matter to me."
"Jason! Wait! Come back! I'm sorry!" But he was gone, out of sight.
One day later, out on her patrol Batgirl was thinking about her encounter with Jason and how it all went down. "Dammit Steph! You just had to go and fucking complicate things!"
"I won't argue with that..." Red Hood said, appearing out of nowhere.
"AHH!" Steph screamed, "Damn you Bat boys. Always appearing out of shadows..." Jason smirked and Steph walked toward him. But he backed up.
"Stephanie," he started and he never used her first name. EVER, "I...I can't keep doing this."
She scoffed, "Yeah like last night wasn't a hint enough..."
"I can't keep hiding. I don't want to. So, if you can't except me, then we should just stop. Stop associating, communicating, seeing each other. Just stop. Everything."
"J...Jay! No, no! I care too much about you!" Steph protested.
His body tensed and Stephanie could tell he was getting mad. He threw off his Red Hood helmet, "Oh yeah?" he asked, stepping toward Steph backing her to a wall, "If you do, then how about you admit it to fucking Bruce?"
"Fine!"
"Dick?"
"I will!"
The next question scared Jason, "Tim?" he asked calmer.
"I..."
He closed his eyes, realizing Steph still had feeling for Tim the whole time, tears spilling out, "Fuck you Steph. I can't believe you lead me on this long."
"Jason! NO! It's just...last night got me thinking...about my true feelings...and I thought we were over...and yeah, I'll admit it, I felt...something for Tim while we were dating but not enough for me to break up with you, or even think of it! So fuck off Jay!"
"Maybe I will! Fuck you and Baby Bird! Fuck both of you!"
Steph pouted and crossed her arms, looking away stubbornly, "Maybe we will," she muttered.
"If you do, I swear to God I'll kill him."
She turned around angrily, "WHY? Huh? I thought you don't care about me anymore?"
"Dumbass, I do! But you care about Baby Bird! And I can't be with someone who likes someone else other than me..." his expression softened, "I do really love you. You solely. Do you love me? And me only?"
"I...I don't know...I don't think so," she smiled weakly realizing that they were over, "I don't think I ever did..."
Jason nodded stiffly, getting the answer and the redemption he needed. He walked over to Steph and planted a kiss on top of her head, "Goodbye Pretty Bird. I'll see you around...maybe?"
"Maybe," she said as she watched him swing off into the night. She sighed, she just fucked up a perfectly good relationship, but she really shouldn't of been in it at all. She didn't love Jason solely. She laughed out loud, and she thought it was Jason being his bad-ass self. Oh no, it definitely wasn't. She was still in love with Tim.
Speaking of Tim..."Batgirl, I need you Ra's Al Ghul's assassins. Then, we need to talk." And the last sentence she thought, just thought, she heard some hope in the end for them. Maybe Tim was spying on her...just maybe...
