TITLE: Slipping Away
RATING: PG - 13
SUMMARY: Sawyer's thoughts based on the promo from the next new episode.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. The show would be much, much different if I were in charge.
Dizzy. Hot. Cold. Pain. That was all that ran through Sawyer's mind. Cold. Hot. Stupid bitch leading the way. Pain. Numb. He couldn't feel his shoulder anymore. Scared. Everything blurred.
Would he get to see the rest of the gang again? Would anyone even miss him? Why did his body feel so heavy? He needed to rest, but he couldn't. He needed to get back to the group. Could he make it? Jack could fix this. But would he? If Sawyer died, then Jack could have Kate. The triangle would be no more.
Why was he thinking about death? The numbness traveled down his arm, down his chest. Why was Kate laughing as her face floated through his mind? He should have given up his seat on the raft. He should have let her deal with this. But did he want her to be dying?
Why did he feel so hot, yet so cold now?
Sticks came to mind then. The sexy ice queen. Those long legs. Wrapped around his waist. Long moans. Screaming his name. Her manicured nails digging into his skin. The image changed unexpectedly. It was bamboo being rammed through his skin, the screams were Sayid's, yelling at Sawyer for touching his woman. Sticks might be a good lay but it wouldn't be worth it in the end. He'd still be dead.
Stupid bitch. Ana Lucia could end up being good in bed, using all that nastiness in the sack, but it wouldn't be worth it. He didn't want to hear that bitch calling his name in bed. He'd rather die. Which with every step he took, it looked more and more likely to happen.
Maybe Sun. She looked hot in that bikini. Of course, she wouldn't sleep with him. She was married, devoted to Jin, even though he saw the way she looked at Mikey. Sawyer always knew when women were being unfaithful, even if was only on the inside. She still wanted her husband. Jin'd kill him, anyway. Would a good lay be worth death? He was dying anyway so he guessed it wouldn't matter. At least if he had sex first he'd die happy.
His step faltered. He wanted to call out to Michael or Jin. Hell, he'd even call out to the bitch, what was her name again anyway? He needed to stop walking. His throat was dry. He swallowed once, twice. The trees swayed. Was it windy, or was it all in his head? His knees buckled. He hit the ground hard, but felt no pain. He could barely hear the voices of those around him, couldn't make out any words.
One last blonde floated to view. She was smiling. Claire. Singing softly to her son. What was that baby's name? Would Sawyer live to find out? Why'd he think of her? That nameless baby started crying. He wanted to be there to read to him. Claire smiled at him as if she knew what he was thinking. The desire to help her was overwhelming. He just didn't understand it.
Why'd he wish to be with her now? Had to be the fact that he was dying. Claire would have given him a sympathy lay.
Sawyer felt a harsh sting across his face. Heard Michael calling his name. He ignored him. Sawyer drifted further into the darkness. A darkness where peace lay. A darkness filled with a light where Claire waited.
The End