He hated her. Now more than ever. And yet, he couldn't hate her. She did that to him just by looking at him. Just seeing her in the corridor made it impossible. And he hated that. And now she had gone off and accepted Potter.
Severus had heard it earlier. Everyone in school knew by now. James Potter and Lily Evans were dating.
Severus reached his dormitory and stormed in, glad to find it was empty. He stormed over to his bed and tore down the hangings.
How could she do this to him?!
So what if they weren't friends anymore! That did not give her the right to go and date "him". He needed to hit something, to expel some of his pain. Expel some of the pain that was eating him alive.
Severus grabbed his pillow and threw it across the room. That helped a bit. He grabbed his lamp next and chucked it as hard as he could against the wall, where it smashed into a million pieces. It helped but it wasn't enough.
Next he ripped open his trunk and threw anything he could find. He threw books and his clothes, he threw papers . . . and then he stopped.
He had found a wrinkled picture. Of Lily. One he remembered taking from her room summer after 4th year. She didn't know he had it. He kept iot hidden so that none of the other guys would tease him about it. He crossed the room and lay down on his bed. He stared at the photo. She looked so beautiful. It was a muggle photo of her laying on her bed. Simple. But he loved it.
'No,' he thought, 'she ran off to date Potter,' he crumpled up the picture and threw it into his trash can. She didn't need him and he didn't need her.
He didn't.
Really.
He kneeled in front of his trunk again and searched through until he came upon a piece of parchment with neatly scrawled handwriting. He reread the letter. It was a request from Lucius Malfoy to join Voldemort and his followers, become a deatheater.
A part of him told him not to. That it would be the biggest mistake of his life. But what other choice did he have? He quickly grabbed a quill and ink and jotted a response on the back of the letter. He slipped it into his pocket stood up and headed for the door. Then he stopped, walked back to his trashcan and pulled out the crumpled photo.
"I don't need you anymore," he said. But nonetheless, he smoothed it out and slipped it beneath his pillow. Then he exited the room and headed for the owlery. To make the biggest mistake of his life.