THE RULES
For those of you who don't already know, these are
the rules that are in effect in every relationship.
1. The female always makes the rules.
"Sere? Why do we have to go to the movies tonight? I wanted to rest in today." Darien complained as Serena sat on the couch looking at the paper to see what movies were playing. She briefly glanced up at him when he said this. "Because Darien. I want to go to the movies tonight. Kate and Leapold just came out. Remember? I told you about it last week." She went back to checking the times and Darien sighed and leaned his head back against the chair. Of course he remembered. It was all she was talking about. He sighed in defeat.
2. No male can possibly know all the rules.
'Well it's not like I can get out of this one.' Darien thought to himself. He knew 'the rules' that females went by. Or at least he thought he did...
3. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules,
she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
But everytime he figured it out its like she knew and would change them. 'Nah' He thought, 'I'm just being paranoid. It's not like shes making my life a living hell on purpose...' When she finally found a time that worked for her she got up and put the paper away, and went to tell Darien.
4. The female is never wrong.
"Hey the movie starts at seven so we gotta hurry." Serena went to get her coat but was stopped by Darien. "Seven? Sere we'll never make that in time! Its already 6:45!" Serena huffed and walked over to him pulling him out of his chair. "Of course we'll make it. So hurry up!"
5. If the female is wrong it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding
which was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.
When they reached the movie theater there were only a couple of people in front of them in line. "See? I told you we would make it! It's seven now! The previews is all we are gonna miss!" When it was their turn they stepped up and Darien asked for two tickets to see Kate and Leopold. "I'm sorry sir, but we're sold out." Before Serena could get a word in he smiled at the man and walked off.
"Darien! How come you didn't say that they might be sold out? If you would have told me that we could have gone to a different showing! You really need to speak up about these things."
6. If rule number five applies, the male must immediately
apologize for causing the misunderstanding.
"Sorry Sere. How about we go back to my appartment and rent a movie instead? We could go see this movie next weekend if you want." Serena sighed but seemed content with his answer. "Alright. Lets get a funny movie though." Darien smiled at her and they were off.
7. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.
"How about this one? I heard it was halarious." Darien said holding out a movie for her. "Hmm." She seemed to consider it a moment, "No I want a Romance movie." Darien took a deep breath and put the movie back.
8. The male must never change his mind without
express written consent of the female.
"Since we can't find a movie how about we just go out for some dinner instead?" Serena looked up from a tape she was holding. "What? But you said we were getting a movie. You can't just change your mind like that Darien." Before Darien could hit his head on the wall, Serena made a little squeal, "Ohhhh! Look at this one! Mina told me this was a great movie!" Darien smiled at her and she grabbed onto his arm as they went to pay for it.
9. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
On the way home Serena gave a heavy sigh. "Whats wrong Sere?" She sighed again before answering, "Oh nothing really. I just really have been wanting to see that movie. It's too bad we can't go..." She rested her chin in her hand as she stared out the window.
10. The male must remain calm at all times, unless
the female wants him to be angry or upset.
"Don't let it get you down. We'll go see it next weekend. You'll have that to look forward to." He smiled at her and continued driving. "How can you be so calm? I mean they were sold out! We had to come all this way out here for them to be sold out!" She threw her hands up in exasperation.
11. The female must under no circumstances let the male know
whether she wants him to be calm, angry or upset.
Darien rolled his eyes, "Would you rather have me hysterical over this?" Serena glared at him, "Of course not!"
12. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.
Darien sighed as he made a mental note to figure her out and then take notes....On second thought, I better not.
Authors Note: 'The rules" was acually a joke I got from a friend. But I was bored and wrote this. Hope you liked it! I thought it was halarious (mostly cause 'the rules' are true :P lol. )
For those of you who don't already know, these are
the rules that are in effect in every relationship.
1. The female always makes the rules.
"Sere? Why do we have to go to the movies tonight? I wanted to rest in today." Darien complained as Serena sat on the couch looking at the paper to see what movies were playing. She briefly glanced up at him when he said this. "Because Darien. I want to go to the movies tonight. Kate and Leapold just came out. Remember? I told you about it last week." She went back to checking the times and Darien sighed and leaned his head back against the chair. Of course he remembered. It was all she was talking about. He sighed in defeat.
2. No male can possibly know all the rules.
'Well it's not like I can get out of this one.' Darien thought to himself. He knew 'the rules' that females went by. Or at least he thought he did...
3. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules,
she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
But everytime he figured it out its like she knew and would change them. 'Nah' He thought, 'I'm just being paranoid. It's not like shes making my life a living hell on purpose...' When she finally found a time that worked for her she got up and put the paper away, and went to tell Darien.
4. The female is never wrong.
"Hey the movie starts at seven so we gotta hurry." Serena went to get her coat but was stopped by Darien. "Seven? Sere we'll never make that in time! Its already 6:45!" Serena huffed and walked over to him pulling him out of his chair. "Of course we'll make it. So hurry up!"
5. If the female is wrong it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding
which was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.
When they reached the movie theater there were only a couple of people in front of them in line. "See? I told you we would make it! It's seven now! The previews is all we are gonna miss!" When it was their turn they stepped up and Darien asked for two tickets to see Kate and Leopold. "I'm sorry sir, but we're sold out." Before Serena could get a word in he smiled at the man and walked off.
"Darien! How come you didn't say that they might be sold out? If you would have told me that we could have gone to a different showing! You really need to speak up about these things."
6. If rule number five applies, the male must immediately
apologize for causing the misunderstanding.
"Sorry Sere. How about we go back to my appartment and rent a movie instead? We could go see this movie next weekend if you want." Serena sighed but seemed content with his answer. "Alright. Lets get a funny movie though." Darien smiled at her and they were off.
7. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.
"How about this one? I heard it was halarious." Darien said holding out a movie for her. "Hmm." She seemed to consider it a moment, "No I want a Romance movie." Darien took a deep breath and put the movie back.
8. The male must never change his mind without
express written consent of the female.
"Since we can't find a movie how about we just go out for some dinner instead?" Serena looked up from a tape she was holding. "What? But you said we were getting a movie. You can't just change your mind like that Darien." Before Darien could hit his head on the wall, Serena made a little squeal, "Ohhhh! Look at this one! Mina told me this was a great movie!" Darien smiled at her and she grabbed onto his arm as they went to pay for it.
9. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
On the way home Serena gave a heavy sigh. "Whats wrong Sere?" She sighed again before answering, "Oh nothing really. I just really have been wanting to see that movie. It's too bad we can't go..." She rested her chin in her hand as she stared out the window.
10. The male must remain calm at all times, unless
the female wants him to be angry or upset.
"Don't let it get you down. We'll go see it next weekend. You'll have that to look forward to." He smiled at her and continued driving. "How can you be so calm? I mean they were sold out! We had to come all this way out here for them to be sold out!" She threw her hands up in exasperation.
11. The female must under no circumstances let the male know
whether she wants him to be calm, angry or upset.
Darien rolled his eyes, "Would you rather have me hysterical over this?" Serena glared at him, "Of course not!"
12. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.
Darien sighed as he made a mental note to figure her out and then take notes....On second thought, I better not.
Authors Note: 'The rules" was acually a joke I got from a friend. But I was bored and wrote this. Hope you liked it! I thought it was halarious (mostly cause 'the rules' are true :P lol. )