I already wrote a Homestuck x Loud House crossover before, but here's another one I guess.
This isn't really a new story. I wrote the first two chapters a long time ago before I started copying my stories from AO3 to Ff net. When it came time for this one I just figured "Hey I'll just send this over when I right the next chapter."
...
That took like a year. So enjoy now I guess.
"Leni what are you doing in my room" Lincoln Loud couldn't say that his room was a complete isolated paradise. That was a dream that he had long since given up, but it was still weird for him to have a visitor before he was even in there. Even when he had a guest he would've expected Lynn or Lucy, and on the weird occasion Lana, not Leni.
"I'm just thinking about how I'm going to organize my wardrobe." It did look like she was doing something similar to that. There were now two metal bars a top of his room that he knew for a fact were definitely not installed before. The blonde was hooking up dresses from a bundle of clothing she had over her arm. "Like gosh, I've always wanted a walk in closet. I didn't even think about a sleep in one. This is going to be fantastic."
"Leni, That sounds cool but I think your own closest would get jealous." Specifically the one in her own room that she now had all to herself. As much as he didn't mind sharing, any occupancy in his room had to be limited to a few days.
"Oh no I didn't even think bout that." she spoke as if her closet would actually show a spark of emotion despite it being a combination of wood and plaster. Lincoln didn't bother to correct any misconception he was sure she was having, "But I already told mom and dad that I'd use this one."
"Leni. You're were suppose to keep that a secret for now." Lynn Loud Sr, their dad poked his nose into Lincoln's room. His eyes darted around.
"Dad?" Lincoln blinked, questioning the sudden invasion of his own space.
A clump of dust flew out of the vent above. Inside a grumble came out. "I know why."
Papa Loud flinched and yelped but held down on the door frame. He knew exactly who must've been up there. He was proven right when long black hair popped down revealing another of his daughters. "Sweetie, you know I love you, but if you keep scaring daddy like that you might put him in a early grave."
"You can borrow my coffin." Lucy seemed unconcerned, in fact she seemed almost thrilled at the idea. "Lincoln, dad was planning on telling everyone tomorrow."
"And he told Leni today?" The boy's head tilted to one side.
"Ya that was like, really dumb of him, right?" Leni hooked up another dressed before letting out a laugh. She showed no remorse for herself.
"Dad, what's going on?" Lincoln cried out.
"Ya what gives?" Lynn Loud Sr turned around and there was yet another girl standing before him, specifically Lynn Loud Jr. Her brown hair in her usually ponytail.
"You're not kicking Lincoln out or something are you?" His usually composed daughter started to pull at her hair, "Oh man, I've had nightmares about this."
"You're thinking about the one that ends with him dressed as a mascot." Lucy said dryly.
"How'd you know?" Lynn Jr frowned.
"You talk in your sleep."
"I'm really that loud?"
"No I just like standing over your bed and listening to your angst mumbling when you're having a nightmare." Lucy smiled, a bit too much for Jr's liking.
"Oy, What's all this business here?" A fake British accent joined the battle. Luna exited her room a little bit down the hall.
"Dad's kicking Lincoln out." The girl with the pony tail whipped around to face her older sister.
"I'm not." The father whined.
"Dad you can't kick Lincoln out." The rocker dropped her faux rock dialect and turned to her father. Her eyes narrowed, "He's our brother, even if he's adopted."
"I'm adopted?" The young boy gasped.
"Your brother's adopted?" So did his father.
"Lincoln's adopted?" A raspy voice cried out, "Lola, What's adopted?"
Two tiny identical kids chose that moment to step out of their room.
"Lana, It means that he was abandoned alone at a fire department as a baby." Lola answered, her hands on her hips and nose in the air.
Lana's eyes grew wide, "Oh man, who would just dump Lincoln. He's awesome."
"Thanks Lana." Lincoln smiled.
The twin brought her hand to her chin and eyed the boy, "Y'think it was because of his teeth?"
His smiled faded, "Thanking you a little bit less now."
"What's going on?" Stomping was heard as someone ascended the stairs. The oldest daughter of the house entered into the crowd.
"Hey Lori, you came out of the garage!" Lola waved and smiled at her fellow blonde.
"Lincoln was abandoned at a fire department." Lana shouted, wanting to share the information before anyone else.
"Okay, this sounds like It's gonna be stupid." Lori didn't even blinked, instead turned to eye the stairs from where she came, "You know I can easily turn around and go back out to the garage, right?"
Lynn still hadn't let out of her own hair which she played with furiously, "Dad's trying to abandon Lincoln."
There was a clicked heard as yet another child closed their door behind them, "I knew this day would come eventually."
"You did Lisa?" Lana asked. Lisa was smart so if she thought it was true then it must be. "It's because of his teeth, right?"
Lincoln pushed his lips together, "Lana seriously you were my favorite."
"There's my inspiration for yet another poem." Lucy sighed, "I'll call it Favorite: A brother's betrayal."
"Don't even start. I'm suppose to be everyone's favorite." Lola whipped her hair at the dark sister's general direction.
"It's just logical. Our parental units have chosen to focus on their individual dreams. Novel writing and restaurant work are lucrative only for the lucky few." Lisa readjusted her glasses, "My research money could take us only so far. They're planning on selling us."
"No one is being sold." The father at this point could only pinch the bridge of his nose.
"Like gosh dad, You're planning on giving us away for free?" Leni rolled her eyes, "I don't think anyone will want us if you seem desperate."
"If I may make a request, please donate us to the pursuit of science." Lisa said with no emotion other than blunt acceptance.
"Science, really? You understand how much one of us would go for in the black market." Lori scoffed.
Everyone paused.
Everyone blinked.
Everyone looked at Lori.
"I googled it. For a friend." The eldest added hastily.
"I'm starting to wonder why I'm considered the creepy sister." Lucy said as she said everything, with apparent indifference.
Luna looked at the vent, "That was never an official title. Frankly dude that's always been Luan for me."
"You should speak for yourself." There were a gaggle of giggles at Luna side.
"I wish I could." Mr Coconut spoke, his eyes as lifeless as ever. Luan stood there smiling. Her hand deep in puppy rectum.
Luna let out a deep sigh, "Oh speak of the devil."
Leni blinked as she bobbed her head to the side, "But we weren't talking about Lola."
"Hey!" The princess cried.
"Everyone focus." Lincoln shouted over the martial conversing of his sisters. An impressive feat to be heard over all their chatter.
Lori scoffed at the outburst, "You don't have to blow a fuse squirt."
"Lori, Lincoln has a good reason to freak. Dad's trying to toss him out." Lynn Jr pleaded with the oldest.
"Oh wait. Is this the conversation I walked into." Luan spoke to herself. "I swear pranks are only a third of the reason I started recording everyone. Part of it is so I can keep track of these conversations."
"The last third is so I can sell tapes to Lisa for a cut of her research grant." The prankster quickly added.
"Relax, It's not like we would actually allow that to happen. Right everyone?" Lori rallied the sister union.
"Right!" They all chimed in.
Lana smiled confidently, flexing her tiny arms, "He's our brother. Fire department baby or not."
"Girls. This is really touching and I'm happy that you feel that way. In this day and age, more than ever It's good to know that there are many different type of families out there and when you find yours you have to embrace them no matter what." If there was any time to imagine soft sitcom music, now would be the time. The father gentle gave the potential aesop, "There's just one thing."
"Your. brother. is. not. adopted." Lynn Sr punctuated every word with a pause. Shifting between looking each his children in the eyes.
"Wait really?" Luna blinked. She leaned towards her brother, getting a better glance at him, "But his hair's all white."
"And we're all girls dad." Leni rolled her eyes, "It's like impossible for you to have a son."
Lisa glared up at the fashionista, "Leni, did you perhaps learn genetics from the Maury show?"
"Luna, He's premature grayed just like your grandfather." Lynn Sr massaged his temples.
Luna countered, "But pops is like super old. It makes sense for his hair to be white."
"So wait just a minute." Lola waved her hands, garnering everyone's attention, "If he's not adopted then why are you tossing Lincy out?"
"Family meeting." The father could only retreat into the sanctuary that was his palm.
"But dad." Junior whined.
"Family meeting." Senior shouted.
"Poop poop" Bounced a bubbly baby.
The mother rocked her youngest in her arms as she sat down. Sending a bored expression towards her husband, "So what is this about honey?"
"Well dear. It seemed that the kids might've come across our you-know-what that we set up tomorrow."
"How much do they know?" Her tone told everyone that she knew this was going to happen.
"Nothing nothing." While she sat her husband stood beside her. In fact of the members of the family, he was the only one standing. The rest were at their respective dinner table seats, "Well Lucy might know everything but that's because of the vents. I really need to cover those up or get Lana to do it. Either or."
"Well either way the cats out of the bag."
"Ya it is." Lynn Jr leaped from seat. She now stood on it, one foot on the armrest. She balanced dangerous on it as she pointed an accusing finger at her parents, "We're onto you. No one's gonna sell Lincoln."
"We're not selling your brother." Senior yelped. His eyes squinting at his sports loving daughter. A little bit of spit flew.
Their mother brought a finger to her chin. She fought to keep down a smile, "But that does sound like a plan."
"Mom?" Lincoln's voice cracked.
"Oh I'm just kidding honey. I wouldn't give my little man up for the world." Rita let out a laugh before she leaned over and pinched her son's cheek.
"Lincoln." Baby Lily joined in. Smiling brightly, she gave her brother a good pap right on his cheek.
"Oh poor baby." Said Lori who leaned over the dinner table and started to pat him on the top of his head.
"We love you." Shouted Lynn.
Very soon his sisters were on him like an over affectionate octopus. It was to the point where he couldn't see their faces, only their hands and forearms. He was pretty sure that there was no part of his head which remained scared. He glared into space, "Please stop this while I still have some dignity left."
Their father coughed and the kids retreated to their own seats. The only boy slumped down, letting out a repressed sigh.
"Now kids. For the reason I called you all down here." His father brought everyone back to attention. "Now you all might notice that there is a bit of room available after the recent departure of your older sister."
The father paused and took a moment to look at his eldest daughter. He coughed, trying to control a deep lump in his throat. You could almost see the tears forming in his eyes.
"Literally just in the garage dad." Lori rolled her eyes. She has curled up in her seat, paying more attention to her cell then the meeting.
Seeing that her husband needed a moment. Rita took charge of the meeting. She stood up, handing Lily over to Lori, who was forced to surrender her phone to support the baby, "Your father and I feel like it might be time for a new addition in the family."
The room stopped. They're parents smiled in anticipation, scanning their children's face for a reaction. It took a moment before they could see any. All twelve of the children groaned.
"Bogus." Luna scoffed, kicking her head back.
"You're pregnant again?", Luan for once didn't look at all amused.
"Mom. Please no. We're all sick and tired of babies." Lily smacked Lori after she made that comment. Well as much as a toddler could smack, which meant only enough force to draw her older sister's attention. Lori smiled sheepishly, "Love you Lily."
"Calm down. You won't have to worry about that." The mother motioned surrender, "Your father has had some work done so there won't be any more babies in this house. At least not for a long time."
"Work done?" Lana asked.
Lisa pushed up her glasses before offering, "I believe she's talking about a vasectomy."
"You do know that takes a few months before it kicks in right?" Lori raised her eyebrow.
Her father looked at her and opened his mouth. "Um."
He didn't close it.
Rita placed her hand on her husband's shoulder, "That's a discussion for another day."
"So what's the new addition?" Leni raised her hand despite not being in a class room.
"Oh are we getting another pet?" So did Lana.
Lola groaned, "You already have like gazillion pets Lana. We don't need anymore."
"Besides, what will we do if they outnumber us?" Leni gasped, covering her mouth with hand.
"Outnumber us? Leni what are you talking about?" Lori said.
"I'm just keeping an eye out." Leni whimpered.
"Talk about paranoid." Lori scoffed.
"Actually I've seen them watching tv. The cat sure loves the evening mews. Get it?" Luan let out a few laughs loud enough to combat her familiy's collective groans. To took a moment to compose herself before, admitting bluntly, "Oh but seriously, I have them on my tapes. It's genuinely concerning."
"I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's if anything just the results of my genetic tampering of the DNA of multiple specimens." Lisa explained a bit to casually for her siblings' liking.
"Lisa, no." Lynn brought her hand to her face. She foresaw another discussion in the future involving her sister's loose ethics.
"Lisa, yes." The girl in question readjusted her glasses.
"I probably should be surprised that you didn't kill one of my pets before Lola did." Lana shook her head.
Their mother's eyes grew wide, "Lola did what now honey?"
"Nothing mom." The messy twin shuddered. She took a sideway glance at her other half. The primadonna pointed at her two eyes before bringing them towards her sister. There was a terrifying smile on her face. Lana trembled in fear.
"Now everyone. We're not getting any pets and we're not getting a new baby." Lynn Senior explained to his children.
"Is Gramps moving in?" Lincoln smiled, excited for the possibility of seeing his grandfather every day.
"No your grandfather likes his independence." His mother shook her head.
Lisa raised her hand, a rare smile on her face, "You're finally letting me build us a robot butler."
Her father looked at his daughter, "Have you figure out how to make one without it rebelling against humanity?"
"Well no." The genius crossed her arm.
"Then no."
"Oh Oh, a pet." Leni waved excitedly.
"Leni, I already said we weren't going to get a pet." Lynn Senior grumbled.
"What about two pets?"
"No."
"Three?"
"Rita." The man looked at the mother of his children for support.
"Now kids. Something you have to understand that your father and I love you and that no matter what happens we promise to be there for you, but there are kids out there who don't always have that same support. There are kids who whatever reason can't be taken care of by their guardians and can use any help that they can find." Her glance followed the room. She took a turn to look each of her children in the eye.
"Wait a minute mom, you aren't?" Lori stared at her parents.
"Yes. She is." Lucy answered.
Lynn Senior nodded, "Kids. We're going to have a guest in our house for a bit."
There were mutters exchanged amongst the kids. They all stole sideways glance at each other. They began to frenzy. Lori gasped, "A foster kid? Like mom and dad. That's nice and all but why us?"
"I get what Lori's saying. We're not exactly short on rugrats here." Luna agreed.
"A friend of mine asked me specifically." Papa Loud answered, "Someone I knew from the old IT support job."
Rita took over, "We, your father and I had been been getting updated about him. We've been mulling this over for a while now."
"Him?" Lynn pointed out. She slumped forward in her seat, grabbing the edge of the table. "That's going to be so weird having a guy over."
"There's usually already a guy in the house." Lincoln offered.
Lynn let out a laugh, "Ya sure, whatever."
Lincoln frowned at the sports girl.
"That like, sounds pretty great actually. It'll be like having two Lincoln's around." The ditzy blonde offered, "Gosh. How will I tell them apart?"
Leni looked genuinely perplexed.
"Ya, but as much as Mom and Dad know about him. We don't know anything. Like how old is this kid?" Lori knew that there was probably a good reason the kid was in foster care.
"Thirteen." Lucy answered. Despite her hair covering her eyes she saw her siblings look at her, "I knew beforehand, remember?"
"Thirteen. I don't know. Dudes can be pretty gross round that age." Luna said.
Lola nose crinkled, "Like ew, what if he has BO."
"What's BO?" Lana looked at her twin.
"It's when boys get hairy and start to smell?" The pageant winner answered before making she started to mock gag.
"Like a monkey?" Lana smiled brightly, "Awesome. Lincoln, when are you going to get BO?"
"I'm not going to answer that." Lincoln spoke slowly.
"Puberty or not. I'd just like to add that the government does subsidize the care of foster children." Lisa added in her two cents before patting her side, "A fine alternative to being sold to science. My spleen remains with me today."
"And I get to keep my funny bone." Luan laughed.
"Kids, Kids. As much as I love your input. I'm afraid that this isn't a democracy." Rita waved at her children, bringing them into attention.
Luna pumped a fist in the air, "Tyranny. Down with the system."
"We already promised that we'd take him in." Their mother explained.
"The social worker will be here tomorrow." The goth helped.
"Right Lucy." Senior spoke slowly, remembering once again he had to find a way to dissuade her from exploring the ventilation system.
"It's an interview of sorts. Not really to see if everything is okay with him. More to make sure that everything is nice and safe here." Rita smiled. She put faith that her children would all be on their best behaviors.
Lori sat back in her seat feigning disinterest, "Fine, I'm not going to complain. In the garage, I'll be a good distance away from the blast radius."
Lynn Senior pointed at his eldest, "Exactly. Since Lori is staying in the garage now, we thought it would be a good idea for Leni to room solo inside of the hall closet and Lincoln could room with our guest. Have some quality guy time."
His athletic daughter crossed her arms, "So who is this kid exactly?"
A car pulled up to the Loud residence on a bright Sunday afternoon. A dark skin woman stepped. She was well dressed in a purple dress suit. She closed the driver seat door behind her and walked to over to the back seat.
"Dave, are you ready?" She poked her head in. There sat a young boy. A sort of cool kid someone might describe him base on the sunglasses that he always wore.
"Hold on. Gotta get ready to pull my best little orphan Annie impression here." Dave spoke to his social worker, but he didn't bother to step out of the vehicle. He didn't bother to move at all really, "Think I'll hit them with hard knock life, the Jay Z version."