Andy McNally was a ballsy drunk. Evenings where Andy overindulged had a propensity to end up feeling like an episode of The McNally Show. Normally Gail was able to limit her annoyance level to mild irritation by steering clear of Andy as much as possible while still hanging with their shared friends. The night of the bet, however, Gail ended up with a big part to play in The McNally Show.
"You think your hot shit, Peck? Queen of darts? Pssht. I totally bet I could take you." Andy taunted Gail.
Gail quirked and eyebrow. "Really, McNally? Bet? I would wager my right tit on the certainty that I will wipe the floor with you at darts, today and every other time I can be bothered to waste a game."
Gail was a dart shark, undefeated by anyone in the 15th Division. Everyone in the division who played her was swiftly handed their ass along with a relentless stream of verbal abuse.
"How about the left?" Andy asked, undeterred by Gail's confidence.
"Seriously? You sure you don't want to take a minute and let one of your stolen boyfriends talk some sense into you?"
"Okay," Andy concedes. "It doesn't have to be the tit, but somewhere in the left breastular region. You know, in the vicinity of where your heart would be if you had one."
"I had to make room for all those smart ass comments somehow. It was like doing computer cleanup. I just sorted by 'Last Accessed Date' and get rid of the oldest. Sayonara heart. Funny, I don't even miss it."
Andy rolled her eyes. "So how about it Gail? Full bet is this: the loser of the dart game gets a tattoo of the winner's badge over their heart, or in your case, in the left breastular region over the black hole of suckiness."
"McNally. You are stupid. So stupid I almost feel bad. But I will suck up that guilt I almost feel and take advantage of your stupidity. All for the opportunity to see my badge carved into your skin where it will remain for all eternity. Forever. Because you are drunk. And because I am awesome."
Andy turned and picked up her drink. Grinning like a drunken idiot she asked, "So we've got a bet?"
"Duh."
"Let's drink on it and play then."
Both women raised up their glasses in acceptance and then finished the remaining alcohol.
"Game on, loser," Gail taunted, sweeping the darts off the table and stepping up to the line.
Fuckity fuck fuck. How did this happen? Gail lost the bet. It was a near impossibility, but it fucking happened. Nothing was out of the ordinary that could have foreshadowed the shift of the gravitational pull that must have occurred. That was the only way this could have happened. A known factor, a constant had to have become dynamic thereby throwing off the unconscious calculations that happened within her as she threw the darts. Air pressure, wind speed, distance, and position were all carefully taken into consideration and transformed into a precise application and distribution of force to her muscles. But fucking gravity must have changed or something because every shot was off that game.
As Gail ran through the alignment of the stars and the different laws of physics, Andy raucously celebrated her victory.
"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw," Gail said to herself as she watched Andy do her victory dance like a pompous ass across the entire floor of the bar.
Gail was not going to get a tattoo just anywhere. She was not going to get needled, tits out, in the middle of a shared space, by a grunting teenager who couldn't speak loud enough to be heard clearly over the metal music bouncing off the walls of the questionably cleaned workspace. Research needed to be done. She wanted to get McNally's fucking badge (no - that was not bitterness) tattooed on her in a clean place with private areas for the tattooing of her private areas. She also wanted to feel like maybe her artist was a real artist and not just someone who wanted to get discount tattoos and cash for weed.
The Tatted Cat was where she ended up. When she and Andy walked into the shop earlier that week to check things out, it seemed to meet all of Gail's requirements. The shop owner, Grace, was a good mix of don't-fuck-with-me and how-may-I-help-you. It also didn't escape Gail's keen sense of police observation that Grace was attractive. She had long black hair that fell in soft waves ending mid-breast. Mid-back. Gail totally meant to think mid back. Fuck. Returning to observation of her surroundings, aka Grace, Gail noted that Grace had tan skin and deep, dark eyes that hinted at an ethnicity Gail couldn't quite place. She was tattooed but not overabundantly. The work she had was good, which was encouraging. She had a mix of pin-ups, flowers, skulls, and dragons mostly on her arms and chest. She was tall, 5'9" or so , and slim but athletic. She either took care of herself or had amazing genetics. Another plus was that she could speak in full, coherent sentences, something that had not been true at every shop they's been in.
After the quick personal assessment Grace let Gail and Andy look around the place. It was clean. There were two private rooms, and the music was a mix of tattoo-inspiring songs across multiple genres. Once they seemed satisfied with the business environment, Grace talked to Gail and Andy about the tattoo and did a quick pencil rubbing of Andy's badge.
"When do you want to come in?" Grace finally asked.
"My only day off this week is Thursday. What do you have open then?"
"I have a 3 o' clock with Holly."
"Holly?" Gail looked up from the appointment book Grace was searching through. Her expression a mix of confusion and annoyance.
Grace reached across the counter and put her hand on Gail's. "Relax, I get that you are . . . particular. I assure you, you are going to be okay with her. If you don't feel comfortable, have her call me and I will come in, on my only day off, and do the tattoo. Deal?"
Gail's agreement was reluctant. Lips pursed she briefly relented, "Fine."
"Grace?"
The dark rimmed glasses and lack of tattoos told Gail that this wasn't Grace, but the name was uttered before Gail could stop it.
"Wow, Officer. I see that police training has really been wasted on you, huh?"
Gail felt the fire of contempt instantly spark at the comment. Who did this woman think she was? She was just about to unleash an abusive tirade when Grace's twin flashed a lopsided smile that sucked the wind right out of Gail's insult sail.
"I'm Grace's twin sister, Holly."
"Wow. You should feel slighted. Grace is way better looking than you." Apparently not all the insults had escaped her.
Holly shook her head dismissively, smile remaining. "You should try to keep in mind that I will be the one holding the pain inflicting device." She follows up the staement with a wink, extinguishing any fire remaining in Gail.
Gail smiles back this time. "Fine. Where do you want me, Holly?"
"For you, Officer Gail, we will take this somewhere a little more private."
This suggestion unleashed a wave of heat in Gail's body. It started below her belly button and rippled out like a surface of water broken by a stone. It was not something Gail was used to feeling in attachment to a woman. It's not that Gail hadn't found women attractive before, it's that she hadn't had them so directly assault her nerve endings, eliciting such an instantaneous visceral response. Gail suspected some of her arousal was due to the fact that Holly was clearly smart and also gifted at verbal sparring. These gifts coupled with an undeniable beauty rendered Gail powerless against the attraction. The feeling was a little overwhelming and slightly embarassing since Gail was about to spend a large chunk of time literally getting drilled by this woman . . . in private.
Pulling herself together, Gail asks, "How do you know I am an officer and a Gail?"
"My sister. Also, the appointment book has you listed as Officer Gail. And the tattoo I am going to be carving into your sternum and ribs is a police badge." Holly looks smug but teasing. "Wait. Do you think I could be a detective? I mean, not to toot my own horn, but I really just put some tenuously linked pieces into a congruent truth."
"Holly, your use of words like 'tenuously' and 'congruent' tells me that you are a nerd. Everything else you have said tells me you are an ass."
"Was Grace wrong? Are you a not actually Officer Gail but rather Detective Gail, because I am definitely an ass."
"Put a lid on it Nerd and let's do this. There will be plenty of time for your awkward flirting when you are touching my boob."