Author's note: While researching mythology (because what else to do when I'm bored) I stumbled upon the legend of the Cu Sith. Based in Irish and Scottish lore, the Cu Sith is something of a banshee/grim reaper who appears to warn of death or to guide a soul to the afterworld. Most often, the Cu Sith appears as a dog (that stands at the size of a bull) with a shaggy green coat and black or red eyes. Thus, this fic was born. Because our beloved swordsman has avoided death too many times to not be on good terms with a grim reaper of some sort.
Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. Nor do I own the legend of the Cu Sith
"Mu tha thu airson a bhith buan, na teid eadar an té ruadh agus a' chreag." ~ a Scottish Gaelic proverb
Translation: "If you want to live a life that is long, don't die."
"What are you doing?" his father sighs.
Blood swirls around him, even in the white haze of unconsciousness. The gaping wound in his chest will heal once he lets it. But, if he heals too quick, they others will know something is different about him. So, for now, Zoro's content to enjoy the feeling of floating.
"Zoro. I am speaking to you."
With a moan, Zoro forces his eyes open. Looks up at his father. "What?"
"What are you doing?" his father repeats. Impatience rules his voice. "I thought you'd outgrown the dramatics."
"I'm not being dramatic." Zoro closes his eyes again.
A nonexistent foot taps against an imaginary floor. The incessant sound breaks through Zoro's peaceful quiet. He refuses to acknowledge it. If he doesn't acknowledge it, maybe it'll go away.
He seriously doubts it will. Even poor excuses for parents know how to be persistently annoying.
"You're hovering. As though you have no choice in the matter."
"Yes." No point in denying the truth. "That's what mortals do. Get struck by sharp things. Bleed. Hover. Meet the Guide. Make a bargain. All mortal stuff."
"I don't have time for this."
"You didn't have to come."
"Of course I had to come. You're hovering."
"Mortals hover, father."
"You aren't a mortal."
"I'm kind of a mortal."
"Zoro."
With a huff of breath, Zoro pushes himself up. Even in the In-Between, blood dampens his shirt. Sharp black eyes glare at him. A busy green eyebrow raises.
"Why are you pretending that man can beat you?"
"He did beat me," Zoro grumbles. "His swordsman skills are far superior to mine."
"That's because you haven't bothered to tap into anything beyond your mortal powers."
"That's because it's cheating! There's no honor in cheating."
His father scrubs a hand down his face. "I never should have let your mother raise you in the mortal world."
"I'm not dead. I don't belong in your world."
"Well, you don't belong in her world either."
Pain erupts from Zoro's chest. He lies to himself. Pretends it's from the wound Mihawk gave him. Based on the regretful grimace on his father's face, Zoro's face betrays the dishonest attempt.
Zoro glares at his father. "Thanks for the reminder."
"Zoro," his father sighs again.
Whatever he has to say, Zoro doesn't want to hear. He lays back again. Closes his eyes. "I'm leaving."
The wound on his chest inches closed. Life replaces death.
Water greets him when he arrives back. Crimson blood, his crimson blood, swirls around him. Chokes him. Pain laces through him. Makes it impossible for him to move. This must be what having a Devil Fruit feels like. It sucks. He almost feels bad for all the times he threatened to drown Luffy.
Almost .
Hands grab him from either side. Drag to glorious oxygen. Johnny and Yosaku yammer rapidly as they pull him back to the boat. Usopp helps drag him on board. Hurries to find bandages.
Vaguely, he hears Luffy shouting at Mihawk. Angry for hurting Zoro. The glaring pain lessens a bit. Replaced by a harsh regret. He let Luffy down. He can never do that again.
"So, what's your Devil Fruit?" Nami asks.
They're sitting around the table, waiting for lunch as a storm rages on outside. Usopp tries to teach Luffy the rules to a game, far too slow and boring for their energetic captain.
Zoro cracks an eye open to find the navigator's gaze on him. "My what?"
"Your Devil Fruit," Nami says again.
"I don't have a Devil Fruit."
Nami's gaze moves to the still healing scar on his chest. If he was on his own, Zoro would have let it heal at it's normal rate. Been left with little more than a thin white line. But that would have been far too obvious. Instead, he wears the stitches and the bandages her doctor left him with.
He stares back at her without a word.
"He doesn't," Usopp agrees. "If he did, he never would have been able to jump in after Luffy all those times."
Nami frowns thoughtfully. Zoro closes his eyes again. Discussion over.
"Well, then what's wrong with you?" she asks.
Or not.
Zoro doesn't acknowledge the question. Maybe if he doesn't acknowledge it, Nami will let the subject drop.
"Oi," the cook snaps. "Don't ignore Nami-san."
"Nothing's wrong with Zoro," Luffy protests. Favors Zoro with a smile. "Zoro's just different."
Different. Weird. Strange. All pretty good words if Zoro's being honest.
Freak fits the best, by far. At least, it's the one Zoro's grown accustomed too. His hair is a strange color. He's not very good with people. His training regime is abnormal.
Try as Sensei might, he never hid the other kids' thoughts from Zoro. Thoughts that mimicked their parents and most of the town's. After a while, he'd just learned to accept it.
He opens an eye to look at Luffy and gives the captain a grateful nod. The crew return to idol chatter. Nothing of real importance. Conversations of dreams and families. Treasure and adventures. Zoro lets all of it buzz in the back of his mind. Only concentrates on their words when his bandages begin to itch.
Maybe he should take them off. It's been at least two days since he first got the wound. Even mortal wounds would have healed by now, right.
The cook took his bandages off the night they set sail. Luffy shed his this morning. Surely enough time has passed that it wouldn't be odd for him to go bandageless.
"Stop picking at it!" Nami bats his hand away from his bandages. "What is wrong with you? If you reopen it, who's going to stitch you back up? You'll bleed to death."
Zoro blinks at her. "It's not that bad."
Apparently, Zoro chose the wrong thing to say. Nami and the cook spend the next half an hour telling him exactly how bad it is. So, perhaps Zoro should keep the bandages on a little longer. If he takes them off before three days, they might give him the run around again.
Two more days. Zoro can last two more days in these bandages. These itchy, movement constraining bandages.
Bandages that really piss him off.
Zoro ditches the bandage a few hours later. Nami flips her shit.
The Grand Line proves to be a pain in the ass the moment they enter it. First there's the whale. Zoro feels its presence as soon as they begin their decent. The whale is nowhere close to the In-Between, but it longs to be.
Luffy half destroys their ship. Zoro would laugh if it wasn't for the fact that now Usopp keeps whining about it. That and the crow's nest is a little more hazardous. Zoro likes the small space. Confined but he can see everything around him with ease. Now, it's liable to topple over if Zoro looks at it the wrong way.
Then there's the crazy, whale killer people who seem way too familiar. It isn't until they reach the island that Zoro finally understands why. The blood of the departed linger on the townspeople's hands. Fuzzy shapes of spirits that refused the Guide or slipped out of the In-Between before the Guide could find them. Zoro can see each of them. Following close behind their killers. Anxious to see them meet their own demise.
Baroque Works closes in on their captain and his thirty-thousand beli bounty. Little do they know, Luffy's swordsman is no fool. And no light weight. Alcohol rarely has an effect on Zoro. He drinks it for the facade. Pretends he enjoys the burn like all mortals seem to. He lets color rise in his cheek. Lets his head fall in a false sleep. Waits still and quiet.
Nami falls last. The others fell into slumbers long before Zoro. Far too trusting for their own good.
It doesn't take long for the idiot bounty hunters to realize their out matched. They prove to be a good practice round for Kitetsu. The cursed blade's spirit grips Zoro's arm. Tries to add power to the swing without Zoro's permission.
"Stop. That," Zoro growls.
"They deserve it," the blade hisses back.
Zoro shakes it's grip from his arm. "I'll decide what they deserve. You can listen to me or I can bring you back to the Guide."
Spirits of a curse rarely get a choice in the matter. The Guide clamps them between his powerful jaws. Drags them to the afterlife despite their screams. Sounds of despair and rage that are more than enough to haunt a four-year-old for life.
The fear of the Guide tames the sword slightly. It at least stops trying to move on it's own.
Zoro cuts through bounty hunter after bounty hunter until he reaches Miss Wednesday. His feet pause of their own accord before he can strike her. The fuzzy attachment freed from the In-Between doesn't stalk behind her. Instead it wraps around her. Like a protective blanket.
Seeing that in a bounty hunter rarely happens. Something is different about this one.
"Zoro!" Luffy's shout echoes through the town of unconscious agents. Spills ice into Zoro's blood.
He tries desperately to reason with the captain - his captain. Luffy hears none of it. Doesn't listen to Zoro's explanations. Trusts only his blind idea that anyone who feeds him is a good person.
They fight around the two "high ranking" agents that arrive. Though, if this is what's considered high ranking, Zoro should have joined Baroque Works. He would have been the boss in the time it takes to snap his fingers.
Maybe it's the rage. The hurt that makes Zoro so unaware of the world around him. He feels the agents' spirits. Their souls as they fly at him. It makes it easy to avoid them. But Luffy, Zoro can't avoid Luffy. They clash. Powerful shock waves knock down bricks and buildings all around them.
The little cuts and bruises heal before Zoro realizes they've appeared on him. None of the slivers of pain make it to his brain. The only pain he feels is the hurt of knowing his captain doesn't trust him.
Half the village is destroyed by the time Nami arrives. Her shrill voice echoes as she picks them up by the scruff of their necks. Explains the promise of treasure in exchange for saving the princess. The princess with the strange spirit.
Conveniently, the witch leaves out the fact that Zoro did not senselessly attack an entire town of nice, friendly people. Though, the princess does reveal the true intentions of the feast after she's stopped with the rest of her sob story.
Still, Luffy doesn't offer an apology.
Zoro doesn't ask for one.
But, for the first time since he joined Luffy, he wishes he stayed in the In-Between.
Vivi proves to be as annoying as the cook. Which, somehow, proves to be lessannoying than her damn duck. Carue makes a break for the opposite side of the ship every time Zoro gets within spitting distance. Whines and hides behind Vivi.
Animals disliking Zoro is far from uncommon. His connection with the In-Between, no matter how small that connection may be, tends to put most creatures on edge. The annoying part comes in the form of suspicious and unnerved looks from the crew.
A crew that apparently no longer trusts him. All because of a stupid duck. A duck Zoro can't even reason with because he can't close enough to talk to it.
"What are you?" Vivi asks one day.
She wanders to the back of the ship. Bounces on her toes as Zoro lifts his weights.
He doesn't answer her.
She takes a step further. "You scare Carue, Mr. Bushido. Why?" Mistrust fills every word. "What are you?"
Zoro's knuckles go white around his weight. "A freak."
The answer doesn't pacify her completely, but she finally leaves him alone. Zoro takes the victory where he can get it.
Merry's back deck becomes Zoro's personal safe haven. No one bothers him. Or whimpers at the sight of him. No gazes watch him as though expecting him to snap. It's nice. Quiet. Relaxing.
Lonely.
Lonely until Zoro feels it one morning. He picks up his weights. Starts his usual morning workout. Feels eyes on him. But not human eyes. Something else.
He sets down the weights. Glances up at the spirit on the roof. Not a fuzzy outline or a blurry mass. The clear image of a small child in a raincoat.
"You're not from the In-Between," he says.
"No," she agrees.
An overwhelming sense of calm. Of home. All of it slams into Zoro's chest.
"You're Merry."
The ship's spirit beams at him. "Yes!"
Zoro smiles before he can stop himself. "A Klabautermann."
Spirits of ships. Created by love and devotion.
She nods enthusiastically. "You all love me, very much."
Zoro smiled. "Hai. Very much."
"Can I keep you company?"
Company. Zoro enjoys silence and solitude. The question brings a lightness to his chest anyway.
"Hai. I'd like that."
It's a moment of pure, unadulterated panic. Trapped in a wax prison with the girls on either side of him. God only knows where Luffy is. Kitetsu swirls around him. Clouds his thoughts. They can't sit here forever. Zoro may be able to leave the In-Between at will but the others will become little more than fuzzy blobs that no one else can see or hear.
Even if they don't like Zoro, Zoro likes them.
He draws Yubosuri and Kitetsu. Ignores Nami and Vivi's screams of protest. He might be able to reattach his feet. Zoro's never completely lost a limb, but he's had some pretty deep wounds. They all healed just the same.
Blood paints the white wax below. Nami screams for him to stop. She must think it hurts. It really doesn't. Not as much as it would for a mortal. Besides, as long as Zoro concentrates on the fight to come, any sort of pain fades to the background.
He's about halfway through both ankles when Luffy finally makes his appearance. The girls give him shit for taking so long. Zoro would love to do the same. But fatigue pulls at him as blood pours out of his legs. He lets it go. Won't admit he's grateful for the wax until it stops his bleeding. Takes back the gratitude when it fills his lungs and pulls him back into the white waiting.
"Again?" his father sighs. "I'm starting to think you want to be here, Zoro."
"Fuck off." Zoro's response is more habit than anything else. "And stay away from the girls."
"You shouldn't care for mortals. They'll only disappoint you."
"I'll make sure to pass that along to Mom."
Not that Zoro's actually seen his mother. Not since he was young. All he knows is that she hasn't passed through the In-Between. So she's alive somewhere.
Nor is his father completely wrong. Part of him feels only disappointment for mortals. Kuina should have been the strongest swordsman in the world. A simple misstep killed her. Luffy should have trusted Zoro when he let him on his crew. A simple miscommunication ruined that. Mortals are simple. They break easily.
But they still pull Zoro to them. Mortality. Normality. Zoro craves it so badly it hurts him more than any of the wounds on his body. He wants to be like them.
"I suppose you don't want to talk about-"
"Nope."
They sit in silence until the flames take him back. Zoro's swords dance with fire. He splits through the Baroque agent with ease. The crew cheer at their victory. Limp back to Merry with various injuries.
The cook whines and flits around the girls. Usopp declares a tale of bravery. Luffy hovers too close as Zoro grabs a handful of towels and moves to the back of the ship.
"What, Luffy?" Zoro asks.
He presses the towels to the bloody wounds. Once the captain leaves him alone, he'll let them heal enough to stop the bleeding. Luffy stares at him. Expression unreadable. Then he plops down across from Zoro. A serious frown on his face.
"Zoro shouldn't have cut his feet."
Zoro hums and leans against Merry's rails. He feels her lingering nearby. Knows that once Luffy vanishes, the Klabautermann will appear to berate him for the self-inflicted injuries.
"Zoro should have trusted me and Usopp to come." Anger wraps around Luffy's voice. "Why didn't he?"
Because none of you trust me. You trust a damn duck more than you trust me.
Zoro refuses to look at Luffy. If he does, Luffy will see the answer in his eyes. The hurt. Confusion.
"I panicked." Only the truth leaves Zoro's tongue.
Luffy remains seated. His annoyance thick in the air. A sharp huff of breath.
"I'm sorry. I trust Zoro," he finally says.
Luffy's seat is empty before Zoro can lift his gaze. He replies the words over in his head. Lets the wounds on his feet inch closed again. He'll need scars there. Otherwise, the others will get suspicious. Not that it matters. They already know he's a freak.
Nami joins him some time later. When the others have settled in, either on watch or getting ready for bed. She arrives like a hurricane. Loud and painful. Punches him on the head. Yells at him for hurting himself.
"You could have died!" she shouts. Because she doesn't know that Zoro can't be killed by mortal wounds. "Of all the idiotic things to do! You bastard. How do you think we would have felt if you'd bled to death?"
Zoro stares at her. No words form in his mouth. He hadn't thought about that. Not at all.
"I don't know," he answers truthfully. Not a drop of sarcasm in his voice. "It wouldn't bother you that much, would it?"
For a moment, Nami looks like she's going to scream until she's blue in the face. Then she deflates. Sits against the railing beside him and pouts at the empty air. Zoro stares down at her. Unsure of what to say or do. So he waits.
"Do you really think we wouldn't care?" she asks after a long pause.
Zoro shrugs.."You can always get more muscle. That's what I'm here for, right?"
"You're here because you're nakama."
"No." He tries desperately not to let the hurt show in his eyes. "If I were nakama, you'd all trust me more than the duck."
Nami climbs to her feet without a response.
Zoro knows Nami's sick long before she does. It's no simple illness. No flu or cold. Her connection to the In-Between creeps stronger and stronger.
She'll need a doctor.
Drum Island becomes Zoro's least favorite island before they even reach it. First, the temperature plummets. Complaining isn't one of Zoro's hobbies but he hatesthe cold. The cold reminds him of the In-Between. Conjures images of white and desperate pleas for life.
Soon after, they run into some deranged lunatic that eats part of Merry. The young spirit doesn't scream but her pain reverberates in Zoro's bones. It takes all of his willpower not to slaughter the crazy man and his followers. Even as Merry desperately assures him she isn't hurt.
Then, they get shot at by anger local. By time they need to step foot on the island, Zoro volunteers to stay with the ship. Unfortunately, Vivi orders Carue to stay behind as well. Which is just peachy.
The duck could have carried Nami with ease. Left everyone's hands open. And Zoro without an annoying, twitchy duck to babysit.
Carue seems as intent on avoiding Zoro as he is avoiding the duck. So by the time the others disappear over the hill, Zoro's left alone to train on deck.
"Should you be training with your ankles?" Merry asks.
"They're healed," he tells her between huffs of breath.
"That fast?"
"Mmm hmm."
The day continues much the same. Until Zoro feels it. A cold gust of wind that can only be one thing. He drops his weight and whips around to look at the hills. A flash of green within the white hilltops. An eerie howl that makes Zoro's skin crawl. Carue lets out a pathetic whimper.
"No. No," Zoro whispers.
He drops to the ground. Closes his eyes.
Merry's voice and Carue's whines fade away. The chill in the air strengthens. White surrounds him when he opens his eyes. Strains his ears. Follows the distant lull of his father's voice.
Zoro hasn't been in the In-Between by choice in years. From the age ten and beyond, only near death experiences brought him to his father. He hasn't had a reason.
But Zoro isn't a little boy anymore. And there's more at stake than just his happiness now.
Nami sits in a room full of orange trees. The trick of convincing people to stay in the In-Between long enough for the Guide to find them is making them feel at home.
Pinwheels and oranges. All Nami needs to feel welcome.
She reaches out her hand. Ready to accept Zoro's father's. His heart leaps to his throat. Pounds in his ears.
No.
He can't have her too.
Zoro's fingers close around his father's wrist. Flings his hand away as he places himself between them.
"You can't have her," he says firmly.
"Zoro?" Nami sounds surprised.
His father lets out a long suffering sigh. "Really, Zoro? This again?"
"You can't have her," he tells his father again. "Luffy can save her."
This isn't a broken neck. An instant death. Illness leaves time for a rescue. As long as the sick person doesn't give in too early. There's still a chance.
His father takes a step forward and Zoro growls. The sound of a vicious, feral dog. The sound his father often makes to those who stand in his way.
He can't have her.
"Zoro," Nami whispers. Fear clear in her voice.
He turns to her. Kneels to the ground. Offers his hand. "Luffy can save you," he tells her. "I'll show you the way back."
Back to subconsciousness. Back to understanding. Away from the Guide. Away from death.
Her uncertain gaze flickers between him and his father. A gut punch when Zoro realizes she still doesn't trust him. Maybe none of them will ever trust him. Maybe his father was right. He should stay in the In-Between. Tuck away the mortal part. The part that needs people. Friends. Loved ones. The weak part. Maybe this has all just been a waste of his time.
Nami takes his hand. Squeezes it when he looks at her. Eyes wide without his permission.
A weak smile is her only response. She let's Zoro pull her to her feet. Keep himself between her and the Guide.
"Don't make a habit of this, Zoro," his father orders. Though he makes no attempt to stop Zoro from guiding Nami away from the sweet scent of fruit and ocean air.
They remain silent to the end of the In-Between. Voices filter in from the other side. Mumblings of medicines and doctors. The bright white begins to fade. Colors fade into the fuzzy shapes of a room.
"What are you?" Nami asks him in a soft whisper as the In-Between begins to fade.
Her life defeats her death.
Zoro gives her a strained smile. "A freak."
He releases her hand before she can reply. The in-Between fades back to the Going Merry. In front of him, Merry waves her arms frantically and Carue dances from foot to foot.
Zoro gives them half assed attempt at a smile before exhaustion plows into him. He closes his eyes and let's a dead faint take him.
Warmth returns first. It tingles at Zoro's toes and shoots up the rest of his body. A soft bed cushions his aching body. Then there's no noise. Clacks of pans hitting together. Shouts and cheers from another room. Scent of cigarettes and cooking food.
Zoro pulls his eyes open and blinks up at the ceiling. Light spills into the room from the small window. Fuzziness fades to full shapes. He recognizes Nami's room as he sits up.
"Zoro!" Merry's excited shout draws a wince from him. "Oh, sorry. Am I too loud?"
He turns to look at the small spirit as he sits up. Forces a smile on his face. "No, it's fine. I just have a bit of a headache is all."
She nods. Her gaze watches him critically. Like him, she picks up habits from the mortals she's been around. Bounces on her toes like Vivi. Chews her thumb like Usopp.
"Your nakama have been very worried," she tells him. "You were passed out when they came back. I was scared too."
Guilt floods him. "Sorry. I haven't done that in a while. It takes more energy than I remember."
"Chopper was very confused. He couldn't figure out what was wrong."
"Who the hell is Chopper?"
"Oh, right. You were asleep. Luffy found a doctor for the crew! He's very nice."
"Doctor, huh?" Zoro nods to himself as he pushes his blankets back. "How long has he been on board?"
"Since yesterday."
Zoro nods. "And the others made it back safe?"
"Yes. Nami feels much better."
"Good." He climbs to his feet, stretching his arms above his head.
From somewhere above, the wondrous scent of fresh food drifts into Nami's room. His stomach rumbles. Merry giggles madly.
"Sanji's making lunch," she says.
Zoro nods. Smiles around a yawn. "Yosh. I'm going to head above. See if I can sneak anything off the plates."
His ankles ache a bit as he climbs the stairs. Grabbing his swords as he goes, he can feel Kitetsu dance around like a demon. Furious about something or other. Zoro doesn't bother to ask what. The sword's probably angry that someone else touched it. That, or it hasn't had the chance to slice through someone in days.
Heads snap in his direction as he opens the storage room door and steps into the sunlight. Usopp and Luffy sit beside Merry's rail. A poor attempt at a quick fix does its job, he supposes. Their sniper is no shipwright after all. Vivi looks up from the book she's reading as Carue darts behind her chair.
One day, Zoro is going to kill that stupid duck. And he's going to enjoy it.
Luffy bounds over with a grin, eyes raking up and down his body. "Zoro's awake!"
Zoro nods as he yawns again.
"That's good. Zoro wouldn't wake up when we got back. Even Chopper couldn't figure out why. He thought Zoro lost blood. But then there was no blood!"
"Eh?"
"He worried it was because of the wounds on your ankles, Mr. Bushido," Vivi explains.
"Oh. No, those are healed." He rolls his shoulders. "Is the cook done yet? I'm starving?"
They let him wander up to the kitchen without protest. Three people sit inside. Well, two people. One, raccoon dog? No, reindeer. Zoro thinks it's a reindeer.
Whatever it is, it takes one look at Zoro and dives to hide behind Nami. Except that it hides backwards. Still in plan view. Zoro raises an eyebrow before he looks over at Nami and the cook.
"He knows I can still see him, right?"
Nami giggles and puts a comforting hand on the reindeer's back. "Chopper, this is Zoro. Zoro, this is Chopper. He's our doctor."
Of course. A reindeer for a doctor. Luffy has got to stop bringing animals into this crew. Animals hate him.
Chopper cowers a bit more as Zoro's gaze moves to him. This time he hides the right way. Nami and Sanji frown.
Too much work, Zoro decides. He'll eat later. Without another word, he turns on his heel and stalks out to the back deck.
"Oi!" the cook shouts after him. "Get your ass back here, you shitty marimo! It's lunchtime."
Zoro ignores him. Ignores the say Carue slinks back as he passes. What's the worst that happens? He starves to death? Not that that can actually happen anyway.
Merry lingers nearby as Zoro settles against the rails. He rests his katana against his shoulder, leans his head back to take in the sound of open ocean.
"Zoro's nakama." Luffy's voice travels on the wind. "Chopper shouldn't be afraid of him."
"He smells scary." Chopper has a small, squeaky voice. It almost reminds him of Merry. Young, inexperienced. The duck lets out a quack. "Carue thinks so too."
"Carue," Vivi scowls. "That's rude."
"He won't hurt Chopper. Or Carue," Luffy insists.
Zoro won't make any promises. The longer he has to put up with it, the more the duck pisses him off.
"Come on. Chopper should meet Zoro. Really meet Zoro."
Why? Why does Luffy feel the need to continually discover new ways to drive Zoro insane? The doctor doesn't like Zoro. Fine. Let sleeping dogs lie.
Sandals and hesitant hooves wander across the back deck.
"Oi, Zoro!" Luffy bounds over, dragging the young doctor with him. "This is Chopper. He's our nakama now! He can transform into a giant. It's so cool!"
His captains untamable enthusiasm brings a smile to Zoro's lips despite himself. He turns his gaze to Chopper, still hiding the wrong way behind Luffy's leg. The captain frowns down at his new doctor.
"Hello Chopper." Zoro tries not to sigh.
"H-hi," Chopper stutters back.
"Sanji says lunch is ready," Luffy announces.
"Not hungry." Zoro closes his eyes again.
From his left, he feels Merry bristle in annoyance.
Luffy frowns. "Zoro said he was starving."
"Changed my mind."
The frown deepens. "Zoro has to come eat lunch with us. Captain's orders."
This time, Zoro doesn't hold in his sigh. But he knows it's pointless to argue with Luffy. So he rises again. Chopper bolts back to the front of the ship before he's on his feet. Luffy frowns after the reindeer.
"I'll just eat later," Zoro offers.
"No." Luffy's rubbery hand wraps around Zoro's arm. "Zoro's nakama. Zoro eats with nakama."
The captain drags him into the kitchen despite his protests. Carue settles behind Vivi. Chopper practically crawls into Usopp's lap.
Thus begins the longest lunch of Zoro's life. The others ignore the animals' unease. Usopp spins a tale of battle, bravery and bullshit. Luffy adds enthusiastically to the parts Usopp missed. Vivi t'sks at the boys' antics. Nami protests madly on several parts of the story. And the cook dances around the annoyed woman like a fly.
All seems surprisingly right with the world.
He returns to the back deck after lunch. For the first time, not because he feels out of place but because his weights are back there. Zoro's in the middle of contemplating whether or not to bring them to the front of the ship when Nami appears.
She doesn't announce her presence but Zoro feels it all the same. People who has been to the In-Between and returned alive feel different. Their connection feels stronger. Not that most of them ever know it. All their experiences are generally long forgotten by the time they return to the land of the living.
Nami throws herself at him in a hug before he has a chance to ask what she wants. One hand buries itself in his hair. The other snakes around his neck. She breathes shakily. Squeezes him tightly.
"Thank you," she whispers. "Thank you for bringing me home."
Zoro goes rigid in her hold. So she knows.
"I won't say anything to the others," she promises. "You can tell them when you're ready. But, Zoro." She pulls back to look up at him, hand resting on his collarbone. "You're not a freak."
He blinks down at her. "Nami-"
"You're not a freak," she repeats firmly. "You're Zoro. You're our swordsman." She hugs him again. "I was so scared. Thank you."
This time, Zoro hugs her back. Lets his body relax. After a minute, she pulls back and smacks him lightly on the back of the head.
"That doesn't mean you can go around being reckless, you know!" She shakes a finger at him. "Just because you're on good terms with Death."
"Death?" Zoro echoes. "He isn't Death. Death isn't a person, Nami. It's something that happens to you."
"But, the man."
"The Guide," Zoro corrects. "He isn't Death. He just leads you on the path to the afterlife."
Nami's quiet for a moment. The question lingers in her eyes. But she doesn't ask it.
"I'm only half mortal." Zoro answers the question anyway. "That's why Chopper and Carue don't like me. I always smell like death. I don't fully belong to either world, so neither can pull me away without my consent."
"You can't die."
"Not unless I want to."
For a moment, she's quiet. Then she smacks his chest. "Well, you still can't be reckless!"
"I don't see-"
"Because I said so!"
Chopper warms up to Zoro slowly. It starts with him sitting in his own seat when Zoro's in the room. Grows to him apologizing instead of running go hide when he trips over Zoro's napping form while playing with Usopp and Luffy. By the time the leave Alabasta, Chopper willing clings to Zoro when he's afraid.
The damn duck is a different story. But Carue and Vivi stay behind, so Zoro doesn't have to worry about it. What he does have to worry about is Nico Robin.
Zoro's so distracted by his whiney crewmates, he doesn't notice her until she emerges from the storage room. She bares the gate and sense of someone who seeks out the In-Between. A distrustful woman who doesn't care what happens, as long as she gets to die along the way.
Everyone else loves her. Even Usopp gives into her sneaky tactics.
"I think she's nice," Merry tells him one night, sitting on the side of the crow's nest while he's on watch.
Zoro huffs.
"Is there a real reason you don't like her?" Merry asks.
She kicks her feet and looks up at the sky. Full of stars and moonlight. Around them, saltwater rises on the wind. Spatters across Zoro's face.
"I don't trust her," he growls. "Everyone else can fall for her bullshit. Even Chopper . I thought animals had a six sense about people."
Merry giggles. "You're jealous."
"Eh?"
"Chopper didn't like you when he first got on the ship, even though you didn't do anything. But he likes Robin, even though she's done bad."
Simple, childlike logic. Zoro doesn't dare admit that she's right. Well, half-right. Part of it is Zoro's jealousy. The other part, her connection to the In-Between. Anyone who longs for death holds untold danger.
"Maybe you should give her a chance," Merry tells him. "Please."
Zoro sighs. "Yosh. Yosh. I'll give her a chance."
Robin isn't that bad. By the time they reach Sky Island, Zoro finds her tolerable. So, if he can consider Vivi nakama, he can consider Robin nakama. Though, he does his best not to get too attached to her. Robin wants to cross through the In-Between. Growing attached to someone like that brings only heartache.
That doesn't mean, however, Zoro will allow anyone to send her to the In-Between early.
He catches her when Enel strikes her down. Lowers her with care. Glares at the false god with all the animosity he can feel.
"How dare you," he growls.
Enel scoffs. "I am God. I dare whenever I please."
Zoro's hand drops to his side as he rises. "The Guides don't take well to those who play Death," he warns.
"Bow before me and perhaps I shall spare your life."
Kitetsu sits heavy in his hand. "I've never prayed to any god. I certainly won't start with a false one."
Nami screams for him to stop. The Skypiean follows his charge. They're out matched. There's no doubt about it. Enel may not be a god but he is a Devil Fruit user. And regular humans rarely stand equal go a logia Devil Fruit User.
"Damn it, Zoro," his father hisses as Enel's lightning fades to the white of the In-Between. "I have a job to do."
"So, go do it," Zoro sighs. He falls onto his back and stares up at colorless room.
"I can't. If I leave and another Guide comes to drag you to the afterlife, your mother will kill me."
You'd have to find her first. "Can Guides be killed?"
"Zoro!"
Zoro assumes that's a no.
"Why are you doing this?" his father demands. "You should have no problem with him."
"Mortals can't defeat logia users so easily."
"You aren't a mortal."
"I'm kind of a mortal."
"This is getting ridiculous. You've been here five times in as many months."
"Are you sure it's five? I think it's only three."
"You are missing the point! Before you met these people, I'd seen you here once outside of your own decisions. I want to know why you refuse to take out pitiful mortals that you would have otherwise crushed."
"Luffy's the captain. He's supposed to take out the strongest guy."
"That's what this is about? You're afraid of hurting his feeling!"
Zoro sits up on his elbows and shrugs. "No captain wants a crew member that's stronger than them. If I go around taking out all of Luffy's opponents, he won't want me on his crew."
His father stares at him for a long moment. "I don't understand mortals."
Noise begins to break through the quiet. The glaring white of the In-Between fades as Zoro's pulled back toward the land of the living. Chopper must be awake. Working his little ass off to bring Zoro back.
"Don't grow attached to mortals, Zoro," his father warns again. "They'll only disappoint you."
Zoro shrugs as he stands. Walks towards the colors beginning to form around him. "No real difference between you and mortals then, is there?"
"Nami." Chopper's tearful voice reaches his ears as he starts for the thin veil between him and life. "It's been five minutes. His heart stopped."
"One more time," Nami insists. "Chopper, just one more time."
Zoro smiles and falls through the veil. Chopper, Nami and Robin lean over him as he coughs into life again. Each of them let out a sigh of relief. Nami glares at him. Chopper hugs him. Robin smiles at him. Everything is back to normal.
Usopp tells them a tale as Chopper bandages them up. Swears he saw a ghost fixing the Going Merry. A small child in a raincoat. The others tease him mercilessly. Zoro laughs at the antics. Tries to hide the unease building in his chest. Their ship feels different. Older. Brings Zoro a similar feeling he gets around elderly people, clinging to their last days of life.
"You're going to leave us," he says later that night on watch. The young Klabautermann sits on the edge of the crow's nest again. Watching the waves as they sail away from Jaya.
"I don't want to," she tells him. "I'm trying to hold on."
The grim acceptance in her voice tells him all he needs to know. Cracks form in Zoro's chest. He closes his eyes. Wills away the unbearable sorrow that washes over him.
No good can come from guilting the dying.
Zoro's never thought to ask if there are Guides for spirits like Merry. He hopes there are. Death, he's been told, is terrifying.
"We'll be alright," Zoro tells her.
Zoro waits until the cook relieves him on watch to slip into the storage room. Cold slips in around him. The ugly white of his In-Between. His father had been disgusted to discover that Zoro never found something to keep him in the In-Between. No grassy fields or wide open seas. Not a sword or picture. Zoro's space in the In-Between just stays white. Probably because Zoro wants nothing to do with the In-Between. Not that his father will ever believe that.
He rises from the hard ground and wanders through emptiness. Several other Guides glance at him as he passes. A few of them - in their canine form - bare yellowing teeth. But none of them move to strike him. One made the mistake when Zoro was young. Only one.
The room he finds his father in has formed a library. Fire cracks in the nearby fireplace. A large armchair shoved between the fireplace and bookshelf. Zoro's mind goes to Robin.
"It isn't hers." His father snaps the book in his hand closed. Stands from his seat at the table. "Your archeologist may want to be here, but her space hasn't yet begun to take shape."
So Robin is far from death. That's good. Zoro nods, gaze still drifting around the room.
"What do you want, Zoro?"
Zoro looks back to his father, eyebrow raised.
"I'm under the assumption that you haven't come here to accept my offer of a new home. So, what is it you want?"
"If you're busy-"
"I have five minutes."
Talk fast. Zoro nods. "What happens to a Klabautermann when it's ship becomes unsailable?"
His father blinks in surprise. "A Klabautermann?"
"Hai. Do they come here?"
"No. They're born from the love of a ship. Not from a human life. They have no place in the afterlife."
Zoro's mouth runs dry. "So what happens to her?"
His father doesn't miss the slip-up. His back straightens. A lecture - one Zoro has heard a thousand time - sits on his tongue. Don't get attached to mortals. Or mortal things. They're fragile. Unreliable.
"She dies. Disappears."
Zoro prefers the lecture to the angry enduring words.
"And no," his father answers before he can ask. "There's nothing I can do. I'm a Guide, Zoro. Not a deity."
Grief shakes Zoro's body. He clenches his fists. Tries to stop the display of weakness as he turns to leave. "Yosh."
"This is why I've told you not to grow attached."
"Stop," Zoro tells him. "This is the same shit you said when Kuina died. I didn't listen then. I'm not listening now."
He storms back to his space. Throws himself back through the veil. The same dizzying feeling as before rocks him. His body feels heavy. Zoro closes his eyes. Slumps against the wall and lets himself pass out. It's far better than crying.
Nami shakes him awake some hours later. Her sigh of relief hits his face as he cracks open his eyes.
"Are you okay? What happened?" she demands.
"Nothing. I'm fine," he says, sitting up straighter.
"Then why are you passed out in front of my stairs?"
"I had to talk to the Guides."
Fear flashes across her face. "Why?"
Zoro sighs. "It's complicated."
She slugs him in arm with a dark glare. "Tell me."
Zoro is far from a whiner. He can hold out under pain, if he needs to. But this secret burns. Burns like Zoro faces the rage of Fire Fist Ace. Surrounds him with pain. A selfish part of him doesn't want to bear the pain alone. And Nami is the only one he can tell. So, he does.
Nami takes the news worse than her expected. She calls him a liar. Slaps him. Swears. Curses with the skill only a sailor can have. Once she gets all of that out of her system, she cries. Collapses beside him and sobs against his shoulder. Zoro sits silently. Lets her beat her first against him. Cry that it isn't fair. That she doesn't understand.
Zoro doesn't understand either. He never thought of an adventure without Merry. But that's the mortal way.
They dock in Water Seven. Nami puts on a glamorous display of someone who doesn't know that bad things hover on the horizon. Zoro volunteers to stay in the ship. Naps with Merry. A shipwright arrives to tell Zoro what he already knows. He'll be losing a nakama.
Or rather, three nakama.
Merry is dying. Robin vanished. Usopp tries to beat the hell out of Luffy. Then he leaves the crew.
Zoro warns Luffy not to show weakness. The words burn his chest.
Nami gets them hotel rooms. Zoro allows Chopper to bandage Luffy up before he shoos the young doctor back to the room he shares with the cook. Once they're alone, Zoro pulls Luffy into the bathroom, turns on the shower and sits on the floor. A full thirty seconds pass before Luffy seems to understand. He flings himself onto Zoro's lap. Sobs his heart out.
Zoro hates it when his father is right.
They demolish Enies Lobby. Leave fire and crumbling buildings in their wake. Zoro moves for Luffy as soon as they hit the water, drags his captain under his arm and grabs Chopper on the way by. The Going Merry sits patiently before them when they surface. Up on the sail, Zoro see Merry saves frantically at him. He grins at her as he throws Luffy and Chopper up to the cook. The rest of the crew scramble on board.
"Thank you," Robin says. Tears in her eyes as she looks at them.
Her declaration still rings in their ears. "I want to live!" . Words Zoro knows are true. She feels different. Lighter. Her mind no longer seeks the In-Between. Now, she only wants the presence of life and her nakama.
A resounding crack ruins their celebration. Finally, The Going Merry's breaks. The ship splits in two and shatters their hearts along with it. Luffy lets out a cry. Begs Iceberg to fix their beloved ship. But they all know it's useless. These will be the Going Merry's final moments. Sailing to safety with the family she loved so much.
It's decided they'll burn her. Set her free to the stars and sea.
Usopp sobs beside Zoro as Luffy lowers the torch. Tears falling from behind that stupid mask. On his other side, Chopper and Nami break into tears as well. No amount of warning. Of knowledge can calm the pain. The way a thousand swords stab into Zoro's chest.
Something warm touches his hand. Zoro looks down to see Merry, the little Klabautermann slips a hand into his. She smiles up at Zoro and looks out at the burning ship.
"It's alright," she tells him softly. "I'm created by love, Zoro. Not by a ship. As long as you love me, I'll always be here."
Zoro closes his eyes. Bites his tongue. Enough people sob around him. Zoro doesn't need to be added to that list.
"I'm sorry." Merry's voice carries around them. Zoro looks down again to find that she no longer stands next to him. Everyone starts at the sound of her voice. Eyes move to the ship as though all of them know what Merry sounds like. "I wanted to carry you all, just a little further. I wanted to go on more adventures with you."
Nami collapses in tears. Chopper screams her name. Luffy screams an apology. Words that will echo in their minds forever. They didn't take enough care of Merry. They were too rough. Careless. They asked too much.
Mortals always ask too much.
"It's okay," Merry whispers again as Zoro helps Chopper climb onto Iceberg's ship. "I'm always here."
Franky joins them. Usopp returns. Robin wants to live. Mortals aren't that bad.
Zoro senses Brook long before Brook appears. Like Nami, the skeleton bears the feeling of a departed person that returned to their body. Zoro knows he's heard of the Yomi Yomi no Mi before. His father complained about it once before, when Zoro was young. Complained about the man who escaped Death with the help of a Devil Fruit, Now, Zoro gets to meet him. And, if Luffy has a say in it, sail with him.
Like Chopper, Brook is wary of Zoro's presence. Though, the skeleton doesn't run for cover every time Zoro appears. Instead, he seems curious. Sits and stares at Zoro while the cook makes food.
Brook brings them to Thriller Bark. To monsters and "zombies". Though, Zoro knows these aren't zombies. Zombies would have the feel of a cursed departed. A spirit that the Guides abandoned. Some assholes just don't deserve help. These monsters are something else. They feel empty. Distant as though no one is in there.
Shadows, Brook later explains. A Devil Fruit user that steals shadows and places them in empty bodies.
And here, Zoro thought he was a freak.
He moves with Luffy, Robin, and Franky. Through an eerie castle. It reminds Zoro of haunted houses he reads about in Robin's books. Which, honestly, kind of fits the aesthetic of this entire fucking island. Zoro hates this island. All he can feel is danger and death. Sweat that drenches his neck and back.
This island is wrong. Bad. They should leave. But Luffy wants to save Brook first. They aren't going anywhere until that want is fulfilled.
Which really fucking sucks. They aren't even halfway through the hallway when Zoro sense something behind him. Far too late. Black fills his vision.
It's soon replaced with white. The silence replaced with an annoyed tapping.
"Goddamnit," Zoro mutters.
He opens his eyes to find his father leaning over him.
"Did a knock to the head really almost kill me?"
"No?" His father raises an eyebrow. "Nothing almost killed you. You came here by yourself."
"I did?"
"Yes. Though the sun may kill you know. The Shichibukai took your shadow."
"Shichibukai?"
His father lets out a long suffering sigh. "Yes. Moria is a Shichibukai. I swear, you kids are all going to end up here before you captain is King. Do your research."
"That's less fun."
"Now you're starting to sound like your captain."
"That's not a bad thing."
"It isn't a good thing either, Zoro."
"Why? Because I'm getting attached to mortals?"
"Because you're getting attached to an idiot." His father scrubs a hand down his face. "Go back. Your friends are looking for you."
"Wait!" Zoro protests when his father begins to walk away. "Why did I come here if I'm not hovering?"
"I don't know." His father frowns. "I'm not you, Zoro. And only you can answer that question."
The legendary sword Shusui. Zoro could die of happiness when the blade sits in his hand. Full of power and promise. Zoro is going to be the Greatest Swordsman with this blade.
Brook is finally free.
Now, they just need Zoro, Luffy and the cook's shadows. Then they're free to leave this cursed place.
"Of course, Luffy's shadow would end up in that ," Zoro growls, looking up at Oars' dead body.
His father passed the giant's story down to Zoro many times. A grumpy giant, but not a monster by any means. With Luffy's shadow, however, the giant is a huge disaster. A child that throws himself about while declaring he's going to be King of the Pirates. For some reason, hearing someone else shout Luffy's dream sends rage spiraling down Zoro's body.
Luffy's dreams belongs to Luffy and Luffy alone.
Zoro will never let anyone take it from him.
"Roronoa Zoro." Kuma's deep voice fills his ears as he stands in front of Luffy.
Zoro knows the rest of the crew stands behind him. None of them will back down now. Zoro's body doesn't hurt. The Shichibukai gives him wounds but he lets them heal immediately. There's no time to worry about what the others think of him. Their lives are on the line. Luffy can't fight. Someone has to defend this crew.
"You've been a mystery to the Marines for a long time."
In the distance, an eerie howl fills the air. Makes Zoro's hair stand on end. Death lingers in the distance. Guides are eager to see souls into the afterlife.
No.
"Tell me, Roronoa, what are you?" Kuma asks.
Zoro glares at him. Frees his new sword from its scabbard.
"I see. No time for formal conversation." The bear-man's gaze moves around the group. "Give me Strawhat Luffy and I will spare your lives."
Luffy. Give him Luffy.
With the wide smile and the kind eyes. Luffy, who brought them all together. Kept them together with unquestionable love and indisputable loyalty. Luffy, who gave them a home. A life. A purpose. Luffy, who looked at Zoro and saw more . More than a scary bounty hunter. More than a halfbred. More than an undesirable freak with dreams too far out of reach.
Luffy, Zoro's personal ray of sunshine.
Zoro's home.
The only person Zoro has ever belonged to.
Fuck That.
"Hell no!" The others' voices join Zoro's.
If there's on thing this crew will die for, it's their captain.
Kuma offers Zoro a deal when he crawls from the rubble. Slices the Shichibukai's arm. Dodges his attacks.
Take Luffy's pain. Spare the crew's lives.
The cook wakes. Tries to save Zoro's life. And Luffy's too. But Zoro can't have that. Spare the crew's life. Zoro can do that. No problem. Pain is nothing.
The cook wakes. Tries to put his life on the line instead of Zoro's but he can't have that. He slams his sword in Sanji's side. Lets the cook call him a bastard. As long as he lives. That's all Zoro cares about.
His swords clatter to the ground.
Kuma gives him a "taste". A small bubble of the agony he's taken from Luffy's body. Zoro swears his bones snap. His lungs tear apart. Pain seizes his body. Jerks through every part of him and Zoro screams. Screams because it's the only way to tame the agony. Agony Zoro didn't know anyone could bear. Even someone who isn't completely mortal.
Somehow, Luffy bears it.
Zoro's body gives out. He collapses to the ground. Rolls over to look up at Kuma. Pants.
"Well?"
A laugh bubbles out of Zoro's throat as he pushes himself up. Blood spatters past his lips. Pain. Only pain. Zoro can handle pain. For Luffy, Zoro would do anything.
"I do this," Zoro whispers. Ignores the furious howling, warnings from behind him. "And you'll leave my crew alone?"
"You have my word."
"Then, just, let me pick the location."
They wander to a clearing. Far away from the crew. None of them need to awaken to find their blood and battered swordsman. Especially not Luffy.
A large green dog waits for them there. Red eyes locked on Kuma. Growls as they approach. Bares its teeth at Kuma. Zoro growls at his father. Behind him, the bear-man stiffens.
"Go away," Zoro tells his father.
His father snarls as he stands.
"Go. Away," Zoro says again.
He's not letting his father stand in his way. The Guides can't have Luffy. Can't have his crew. Neither can Kuma. Zoro couldn't save Kuina. But he can save the others. Besides, it's just a bit of pain. Never once has Zoro shied away from pain. He doesn't plan on starting now.
"You're on good term with a Guide," Kuma says as the canine bounds off, last growl still lingering in the air.
Zoro turns to him without a word. Waits for pain.
Kuma stares down at him. Curiosity in his dark eyes.
"That will not save you, Roronoa," Kuma warns. "Guides don't decide whether or not you die."
"And they have no mercy for mortals," Zoro finishes. "I know. This is my decision. My crew will live. And so will I."
Kuma gives him a nod. Leaves the bubble of pain. Bids Zoro farewell. A farewell Zoro doesn't return. He will see Kuma again.
"Zoro," his father calls. Voice carried on the wind. "You cannot die. But you can be stuck in the In-Between. Cursed to hover forever."
Zoro closes his eyes. Lets out a long breath.
"This mortal."
"Luffy," Zoro corrects. "His name is Luffy."
His father doesn't speak. Lets Zoro surround himself with thoughts and silence. Luffy. All Zoro can think of is Luffy. Luffy's smile. Luffy's strength. Luffy's light. Zoro embraces every part of Luffy. His captain's pain will be no different.
Without Luffy, Zoro has no reason to leave the In-Between.
"Luffy, then," his father says. "Do you truly think he is work the risk of being trapped in a place that you hate?"
"He's worth everything," Zoro whispers.
"Then, it is I, who has been mistaken all this time. You are kind of a mortal."
Zoro moves his hands forward. Lets wound spill blood from his body and paint the ground and rocks around him. Screams tear his throat. Pain hammers against every part of him. Consumes him until Zoro's mind goes blank. Until he can't remember where he is or why it hurts. All he can hear is "I'm gonna be King of the Pirates! Join my crew" .
White glosses over his eyes. The veil comes to consume him. To pull him away from the agony. His tear ducts are dry. No matter how desperately he wants to, Zoro can't cry to relieve the pain. Can't force his destroyed throat to work. Nothing will take the pain.
A dull buzz slowly transforms into the cook's voice. "What the hell is with all of this blood? Zoro? Are you alive in there? Oi! What happened?"
Zoro almost laughs at the question. What happened doesn't matter. What matters is that the crew will live. Luffy will live. Will complete his dream. Nothing else matters.
"No-Nothing." Zoro forces his voice to work. Ignores the way it grinds against the worn spots in his throat. "Nothing at all."
"You absolute idiot!" the cook snarls.
If agony didn't drum through every piece of Zoro's being, he might have found the strength to point out that the cook had tried to do this himself.
"Shit, Zoro, what did that guy do to you?"
This time, Zoro actually does laugh. The huff of breath spatters blood onto the cook's suit jacket.
"Okay?" Zoro chokes on his own blood asking the question. "Lu-Luffy. Okay?"
Rage fills the cook's eyes as he looks up. "Damn it, Zoro. Why are you a one track mind?"
The veil blurs out the cook's face. "Hypocrite," he manages to mumble before he falls back.
White doesn't greet Zoro when he forces his eyes open. The lack of complete agony tells him that he's in the In-Between. But, he doesn't find his space full of white. Instead, the Sunny's crow's nest fills his space. His three katana sit against the wall. Weights in the middle of the room. The smell of curlicue's cooking twirls in the air.
Zoro's jaw trembles. "No," he mumbles. "No, no. What is this?"
"Part of you wants to stay."
Zoro spins to find his father sitting on the bench. Watching him with tired eyes.
"No," Zoro snaps. "No, I want to leave!"
"I told you not to grow attached to mortals, Zoro."
"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?"
"It has to do with everything ." His father glares as he stands.
"Just get me out of here."
" I can't. You have to make that decision."
"I want to go back."
"No, you don't. If you wanted to go back your wounds would heal and we wouldn't be having this conversation."
"Liar."
"Why don't you want to go back, Zoro?"
"I do."
"You can lie to me all you want. But you can't lie to yourself."
Zoro's heart hammers in his chest. Breath comes in rapid pants. He wants to go back. Wants to see Luffy's smile. Listen to Nami's screeches. Usopp's lie. Wants to taste the cook's food. Listen to Robin's stories. Fight with Chopper over bandages. Spare with Brook. Help Franky with repairs. Wants to smell the sea. Feel the wind. Wants to laugh and drink with his friends. See the adventures they'll go on. Zoro wants it all. So badly.
But.
"Why don't you want to go back, Zoro?"
"I don't want to watch them die!" The answers bursts through Zoro's lips. Realization strikes his chest. He falls to his knees, hand over his mouth, and stares at the wooden boards of the crow's nest.
"Don't grow attached to mortals, Zoro. They'll only disappoint you."
But it isn't the people that disappoint you, Zoro realizes. Luffy could never disappoint Zoro. None of the Strawhats could ever disappoint him. But their mortality. Knowing they won't live forever. That disappoints Zoro. Getting attached to them. Loving them. And then watching them die. That's disappointment.
For the first time in a long time, Zoro cries.
"Watcha doin?"
Zoro blinks his eyes open. Tries to pull the exhaustion from him. "Merry?"
The Klabautermann grins at him. "Hi, Zoro!"
"What are you doing here? I thought you didn't go to the In-Between."
"A big dog brought me here."
Zoro sits him up. "A big dog."
She nods. "He said you needed help. You won't wake up outside. The others are very worried."
"I can't wake up," Zoro admits.
"Why not?"
His gaze finds the imaginary windows. Beyond it, white clouds float by in a blue sky. As though all of this is real. As though, Zoro isn't stuck in the In-Between. Zoro isn't sure he wants to admit it. But, he can't lie to himself. No point in lying to anyone else.
"I don't want to watch them die."
Merry sits quietly for a moment. Then, she giggles. "For someone who wants to be a mortal, you don't want to suffer the consequences of it."
Zoro looks up at her. "Eh?"
"All mortals have to watch their loved ones die, Zoro. They don't get the choice to hide away. They have to watch. If you want to be a mortal, you have to do that too."
"That's not fair," Zoro whispers.
He knows it sounds petty. But he doesn't care.
"The mortal life rarely is. But, it's also not fair to them if you stay here. They're mortal, Zoro. They have to watch you leave them."
She's gone before Zoro can reply.
"I see you've made up your mind."
Zoro steps to the veil. Toward the sound of his nakama's voice. Luffy rambles on about something funny Usopp did, as though Zoro is actually awake and can hear him.
"Hai. I'm okay with being disappointed," he tells his father. "Someday, I'll be their disappointment too."
A slight smile pulls at his father's lips. "I wish you luck, my son."
"Isn't that funny, Zoro?" Luffy asks as Zoro steps through the veil.
"Hai, Sencho." Zoro's voice scrapes across his throat as he forces his eyes open.
Luffy beams.
Fuck Sabaody. Fuck Sabaody. Fuck the Marines. Fuck being a mortal.
Zoro takes ages to heal. Even with his abilities, Luffy's pain has left Zoro drained. Left him with pain he doesn't understand and isn't use to feeling. Worst of all, it leaves Zoro unable to stand up to the Admiral. Unable to stand up to Kuma.
Luffy's pain lands him on a creepy ass island with an annoying pink haired girl.
Disappointment. Mortals fill the world with disappointment. Fill Zoro with disappointment. But not in mortals. Disappointment in himself.
Weakness. Zoro is so full of weakness that he couldn't help Luffy. He disappointed Luffy, even if the captain may never admit it.
He bows his head to Mihawk. Begs for help. Because what else can he do? He needs to get stronger. Needs to be a better swordsman. And Mihawk is the only person who can help him do that. Well, the only mortal.
When faced with men who believe they're gods, men with power of gods, Zoro needs to stop being mortal.
He needs to be extraordinary.
Zoro's room in the In-Between remains the Sunny's crow's nest. Sends homesickness through his heart.
"Here again, so soon, Zoro?" his father asks.
"Hai," Zoro breathes. "You told me I had more power. Tap into something beyond what I have now."
His father nods. "You can."
"Can you teach me?"
Silence.
For a long moment, the only answer is silence. Then his father speaks. "Why do you want me to teach you?"
"Because I don't want to be disappointed."
Author's Note: I hope you guys enjoyed this! Look forward to the second part soon! Comments are always welcome :)