A Bite of Something New
It wasn't enough that she was tired. Though she was tired. The last mission had been harder than any she'd had in what felt like a short while. But it was actually a long while. That was hard to get used to. And she hadn't been so banged up in weeks.
Or years. Depending on who you're talking to.
But it wasn't that she was tired. It was that she was heartsore on top of it.
Jumping forward in time scared her and bothered her. Having her team suddenly so much older. So much stronger. Jet and Droy both demanded she lead them again, but how could she? How could she when they could do more.
It wasn't that she wasn't happy. She was. She totally was. They were going to die and they didn't. She thought she was never going to see the people she loved ever again. But she did. It wasn't like with Lucy, who had way more to be upset about. She lost her father. He'd died right before they got back. Died thinking that she still hated him.
That was terrible.
But Lucy still laughed. They all still laughed.
She still laughed.
She was happy. She was.
Except when she wasn't.
How can a person survive when one part of their life is stuck on neutral when the other parts feel like living everyday on a roller coaster? She was off blanace, and it was beginning to impact other parts of her life.
Probably why this last mission was so difficult. She wasn't focusing enough. Her brain was wrapped around her frustration. Refusing to let go. Refusing to give a crap about her own personal feelings on the matter.
Or maybe following another set of personal feelings. She was willing to admit that there was some bipolar tendencies with regards to her emotions.
"You look like shit."
Aaaand exactly what she didn't need. Right on schedule. Because her life wasn't as awful as it could be. If she weren't afraid of jinxing herself she'd start watching for falling pianos and signs of the armagedon. But that might be taking it a bit far.
"Thank you."
"Wasn't a compliment."
"Wow, really?" she kept herself from smacking him upside the head only by reminding herself that he'd probably do the same back. And her head would split open or something equally attractive.
He was working his way through a pile of scraps that should rip through the tender flesh of his mouth, but somehow didn't. She wasn't sure why it always surprised her more than eating fire, which would both burn the mouth and ... well not be eatable. How does one digest fire? Metal made a little more sense. Except for the fact that it would rip your insides to shreds.
She gave up and rested her head on her arms. She had ordered food, but she really wasn't hungry. If she were as smart as everyone said she was she would go home and sleep, but the last job had made her a little jumpy. Sleepy, but energized in a sleepy way.
And he was next to her. It was always a little more difficult to leave when he was so close.
Was that a gear? A real gear? What did it go to? "What do gears even taste like?" she wondered, without realizing she asked the question aloud.
"Metal."
"I never would have guessed." Exaustion made her snippy. Or maybe it was him.
No. It was probably her. She shouldn't blame her bad attitude on anyone else. It was unfair. But she got frustrated just thinking about him. A moment. A moment seven years ago. That's all it was. It felt sooner, but it was a second. A second of time over 200,000,000 seconds ago.
How could that possibly matter?
"Don't think I've ever heard you be rude." He thought. "Well there was that one time. But that didn't count." Which made all of no sense. Why didn't yelling at him on the island count? If she'd felt like looking at him, she knew he'd be wearing that stupid grin. That stupid grin that said he was so much better. So cocky. So odd. Why did he react the way he did? She'd never understand him.
"I'm never rude."
"Sure you are. Right now."
"Sarcasm isn't rudeness. It's a quip at how you're incredibly unhelpful. Gear tastes like metal; 'You don't look good'; no kidding Mage Obvious. What do you expect? A prize of some sort for your astonishing insight?"
He chuckled in his eerie fashion. "Think I like you rude. What's under your skin?"
"Do you really care?"
"Nah, not really. Except maybe to get you this way again." She could hear that grin again. Maybe even a touch of leering.
'Get real,' she told herself. 'And get over it.'
"So what's the deal?"
"What do you think? It's the time difference. I feel the same and not the same at the same time. Doesn't it bother you?"
He shrugged. She didn't see him do it, but she felt it when his forearm brushed her elbow. "Why would it? I'm still me. The most important thing hasn't changed."
"You are ..." she couldn't finish her sentence. Yes, he was a selfish git, but he was doing better than she was, so could she actually judge him? But then all of the people he pretended not to care about were caught up in the time slip together. With him.
She was the one who left people behind. He just didn't get it.
"You just don't get it," she said. Echoing her thoughts.
"You're right," he said with his mouth full. His teeth and the metal made high, scraping sounds. "And I don't wanna. Because I don't wanna be lying on a bar, not eating, and moping like a loser." He tore his plate up like bread and ate it in pieces. "I'm still me, but you're not you. You say they've changed, but look at 'em..."
He turned to look at Jet and Droy, singing on the stage. She turned with him. Saw what he saw. They were together. Arm in arm. Drunk. Happy.
"They're the same as they always were. Stupid." He turned before she could turn away, and caught her eyes. "Before you'd'a been smart enough to catch on t' that. You're the one who changed. You're the one who decided to be a fucking moron."
"Hua quay," she muttered under her breath. She'd forgotten how good his hearing was. Maybe he was right about her.
"Don't have't know the language to get the point, bookworm." He grinned like the homicidal maniac he liked to play at being, and shoved his fork into his mouth. "But I gotta say. I do like it when you're pissy."
He strode to the door like he didn't have a care in the world. Picking up Lily as he went.
She turned to the stage and watched Jet and Droy finish their set with a song they dedicated to her. She watched as her other friends, young and old, took to the stage. Celebrating the return of their family. The return to their family.
They were back. They were back and they were together. What was there to get mopey about?
When her team came to hug and cry over her, she laughed and told them that they were acting like dirty old men. Which made them cry. Which was cruel of her. But she enjoyed the attention. She jumped from her barstool to hug them, still laughing.
"I'm only kidding! I'm so glad to be home."
And it was true this time. What did time matter anyway if the heart was still there? She looked at the door again, but he'd been gone for a while. Probably wouldn't be back anytime soon. She'd seen a job flyer in his fist when he picked up his cat.
That was fine. She'd come up with something sweet to pay him back. It always unnerved him when she was at her most girly.
He might like it when she was pissy. That was fine. He was abrasive enough to call that up in her. But she liked it when he was freaked out. And she did a pretty good job at breaking that tough exterior.
One second.
She'd turn it into two. And then maybe three.
Good to be home.
Author's Note: Let's pretend this didn't happen. Since I have work. And NaNoWriMo. And an Inception fic I put off for NaNoWriMo ... ::sigh::