I Do Not Own Anything But A Sense Of Humor

Harry Potter and The One Shot At The Dark Lord

By James Evans

Harry Potter stalked towards Lord Voldemort, the most feared Dark Lord in history, or 'He-Who-Must-Be-Maimed-Tortured-and-Killed' as most people now called him. After all, fear of a name increases fear of the person, so, by making fun of the Dark Lord, they just made him... weaker.

"Potter! You can't possibly expect to beat me you snivelling child!" He snarled at the teenager, whos eyes were green like a fresh pickled toad, "Hang on... You already have... shit" he corrected himself. The crowd of Death Eaters behind him all let a massive laugh out. Lord Voldemort turned around and turned them all into pink bunnies, one male and one female - alternating all the way around. Harry smirked, and decided to cast a spell himself, he cast the aphrodite curse on them. Lord Voldemort smirked as he watched all his bunny-munchers getting at it. Quite literally.

The whole of the village laughed at the Death Eaters turned-bunnies.

"Enough of this Thomas, lets do this." Harry pronounced, which caused Lord Voldemort to, in turn, send a love-hating hex at him. Which didn't connect. He sent another, and another until he realised that Harry was not going to get hit by them.

"Whats wrong Potter, scared?" He baited, "Can't you fire your own?"

"Well Thomas Marvaloid Riddlo, I don't need to."

This caused the Dark Lord to scream in laughter - and proceeded to start casting every curse he could think of. None connected with the Boy-Who-Did-Everything-A-Teenager-Can-Do-Oh-And-Is-The-Boy-Who-Lived-Too. Eventually the Dark Lord's energies were getting low and Harry cast a simple Impendimenta at the Dark Lord. It connected.

"Harry, it's time to do what we planned." Minerva McGonagal announced. The crowd gasped as Harry approached Thomas. He wrapped his arms around the Dark Lord and, with three words, ended the Dark Lords reign of terror.

"I Wuv You Thomas"

There was a problem with this though, as magic was an entity and was rather pissed that it's fun was ruined. It suddenly just ripped the magic out of every being in the world.

"Uhh... oops?" Harry pronounced as Hogwarts crashed to the ground, and quite a few Crumple-Horned Snorkaks appeared out of thin air and dropped to the ground.

A/N

Well, I'm no comedian, so what dya think?