The Funeral of Elrond
Summary: Takes place after 'If Elrond Got Drunk'. This should put the 'fun e' in funeral.
A/N I have nothing else to say, except if you haven't read 'If Elrond Got Drunk', you need to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, as you last read, Elrond had jumped out of his window. When he landed, he nocked himself out.
Every Elf in the quicinity began to shriek. "Is he dead?"
"What the hell?"
"SOMEONE CHECK HIS FRELLING PULSE!"
And other things one would think they would yell.
Finally, a Elf stepped forward and grabbed Elrond's toe. "THERE'S NO PULSE!" he yelled.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Arwen yelled.
"Come on people, we've got a funeral to plan." called the Elf that felt for the pulse.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~THREE DAYS LATER ~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Every Elf was dressed in black, some were crying. The members of the Fellowship, including Boromir, were also there. Frodo was the give the eulogy.
He stepped up to the pulpit. He rustled his speech. He cleared his throat. Finally he bagen:
"My fellow Middle-Eartheans, we are gathered in this spot today, to honor a great Elf. He died, after becoming intoxicated. How that started, I have no clue, but he died and that's why we are here.
"Elrond was a good man. For a really, really, really, really, REALLY old guy. I mean, he was REALLY OLD, older than Gandalf. I mean---"
"GET ON WITH IT!" the entire crowd yelled.
"Oh, sorry. Ahem, Elrond was a great man. I already said that, but I've lost my place. Uh, anyway, Elrond was a well liked guy and people liked him. He was not mean on any account that I know of. He, erm, SAM! I CAN'T READ THE REST OF YOUR WRITING!"
"Sorry, Mr. Frodo." Sam replied.
Frodo threw away the papers he held. "Anyway, the point is, Elrond DIED. You can't bring him back. Now, does anyone have anything they want to say?" Frodo asked, stepping down from the pulpit.
Sam stood and said, "Elrond was a nice man. He looked after Mr. Frodo when he was stabbed with a Morgul blade, and I'm ever thankful to him for that." He sat.
Legolas stood, and muttered a few well chosen Elvish words. So did Arwen.
Aragorn stood up, but before he could say anything, Elrond sat up, yawned and stretched.
He looked around, puzzled.. "Good morning?" he asked.
"OMIGOD, A ZOMBIE!" Legolas shrieked, ripped the leg off of the pulpit, and stabbed Elrond through the heart with it.
"Legolas! He wasn't a vampire!"
"Oops, sorry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N Ahar, not so good, I suppose, but I like it nonetheless.
Summary: Takes place after 'If Elrond Got Drunk'. This should put the 'fun e' in funeral.
A/N I have nothing else to say, except if you haven't read 'If Elrond Got Drunk', you need to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, as you last read, Elrond had jumped out of his window. When he landed, he nocked himself out.
Every Elf in the quicinity began to shriek. "Is he dead?"
"What the hell?"
"SOMEONE CHECK HIS FRELLING PULSE!"
And other things one would think they would yell.
Finally, a Elf stepped forward and grabbed Elrond's toe. "THERE'S NO PULSE!" he yelled.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Arwen yelled.
"Come on people, we've got a funeral to plan." called the Elf that felt for the pulse.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~THREE DAYS LATER ~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Every Elf was dressed in black, some were crying. The members of the Fellowship, including Boromir, were also there. Frodo was the give the eulogy.
He stepped up to the pulpit. He rustled his speech. He cleared his throat. Finally he bagen:
"My fellow Middle-Eartheans, we are gathered in this spot today, to honor a great Elf. He died, after becoming intoxicated. How that started, I have no clue, but he died and that's why we are here.
"Elrond was a good man. For a really, really, really, really, REALLY old guy. I mean, he was REALLY OLD, older than Gandalf. I mean---"
"GET ON WITH IT!" the entire crowd yelled.
"Oh, sorry. Ahem, Elrond was a great man. I already said that, but I've lost my place. Uh, anyway, Elrond was a well liked guy and people liked him. He was not mean on any account that I know of. He, erm, SAM! I CAN'T READ THE REST OF YOUR WRITING!"
"Sorry, Mr. Frodo." Sam replied.
Frodo threw away the papers he held. "Anyway, the point is, Elrond DIED. You can't bring him back. Now, does anyone have anything they want to say?" Frodo asked, stepping down from the pulpit.
Sam stood and said, "Elrond was a nice man. He looked after Mr. Frodo when he was stabbed with a Morgul blade, and I'm ever thankful to him for that." He sat.
Legolas stood, and muttered a few well chosen Elvish words. So did Arwen.
Aragorn stood up, but before he could say anything, Elrond sat up, yawned and stretched.
He looked around, puzzled.. "Good morning?" he asked.
"OMIGOD, A ZOMBIE!" Legolas shrieked, ripped the leg off of the pulpit, and stabbed Elrond through the heart with it.
"Legolas! He wasn't a vampire!"
"Oops, sorry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N Ahar, not so good, I suppose, but I like it nonetheless.