He couldn't keep doing this; all he was doing was torturing himself. Sirius was gone, dead, not coming back. His Padfoot had fallen behind the veil; he had watched him, stopped Harry from following suit even.
Remus sat on the floor resurrecting his best friend, his lover by listening to there old records. 'You cant bring him back Moony, you're a grown man and you know this. You have to end this pick your self up and keep fighting.' He kept telling himself this but he couldn't force himself to get up off the floor and take the record off of the player, he just kept watching it spin.
He listened to the crackly sound of the over played David Bowie album, The Dream Anthology. Sirius' favourite. The music played like it always had as if a great person hadn't just been snatched from the world. Remus could hear the ghost of Sirius; laugh, husky, raw and full of glee. Remus could swear he could smell his old friends cheep cologne mixed with muggle cigarettes in the air. His arms tingled in the way they used to when Padfoot would rub them as they laid in bed together, not doing anything just listening to this very album occasionally kissing each other there lips, forehead, shoulder, anything they could reach without moving from the warm blankets.
Tears filled his eyes as he took in a shaggy breath, "why did you leave my Padfoot? I still need you."