she put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night

I saw her again today. At work. I don't think she noticed me, but she seemed happy. After all that happened between us, she was happy. Her face was glowing, and she seemed fine. It hurt me to the very pits of my heart to see her life this.

I went out tonight to go to the club, I danced and I drank. I drank until I couldn't think. I though I saw Phoebe but I couldn't tell, it was all so blurry. Every girl reminded me of her. Their hair, their body, their scent. I even thought I was dancing with her, she smiled, and for a minute I was happy. But then it dawned on me, it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I left after a little btit, the thoughts of er breaking my heart. I waled home, not minding the bitter cold nipping against my face. I lied down onto my bed, thinking of nothing but her. I tried to get to sleep, but I just couldn't get her out of my mind.

Soon the feeling caame back. When the feeling came I drank. I realized that the only way to get her off my mind was to drink. She wouldn't care. I lie down once more, thoughts of her returning. I had so many sweet memories.

When she kissed me for the firsst time, my heart opened and I let love into my life for the first time. The thoughts spun around until my head started pounding. I had another feeling, but it was different. My head hurt so badly,I didn't think I could take anymore. I knew it was the end so I sat down, to write a last note to her, knowing she'd never see it.

Phoebe,

I was dead before I met you,

I was born the day you loved me,

and my love for you will keep me alive...

forever.

Tears streaming down my face, I wrote in the corner of the page, I'll love her till I die. I clutched the note in my hand as I began to fall asleep, thinking of the one brought me joy, who saved my soul, and who taught me to love.

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

I awoke to a knocking on my door. Not knowing who it was, I quietly got upand saw a police officer standin alongside my sisters. Without them saying a word, I knew something had happened. And somehow I knew it was my fault.

"Ma'am do you know this man?" The officer slowly lifted up a picture of Cole. I stared at it racking my brain, wondering what he'd done this time, before responding, "Um, yes. He's my hus... he was my husband. Why?"

"I'm soorry to tell you this, but," I knew what he was going to say. I knew it. "He was found dead in his home, and he was clutching a note addressed to you. I don't know if you were meant to get it, but-."

Not thinking, I interrrupted him, "How did he die? Was he killed? Did he have a heart a heart attack? WHat the HELL happened to him?" I screamed. The man I loved, my soul mate was dead. I didn't know why, but I was struck with grief. An overwheling sense of nausea overcame me, as I ran into the bathroom and began to vomit.

Days went by, and then it was time for the funeral. We all came, Piper, Phoebe, Leo, and me. There were demons there, bt even though they could at anytime they didn't try to attack us. I heard them talking quietly as the preiest prayed on.

I always knew he would die someday, but I didn't expect it to be so soon. Ir so painful. My heart felt as though it were torn in two when I heard he died because of me. I knew it was my fault, and I knew everybody else thought so, too.

The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night

SixYears Later

"Phoebe what is wrong woth you? Everytime I see you you're either drinking or vomiting. It's not right, and you know it." I could hear Piper ranting on and on, but I didn't care. Every time I drank was one less time I felt guilty. Cole died because of me, I was to blame. She'll never know how I feel, I though sadly. I lfted up the bottle to my lips once more, as his memories seeped away.

That night I did nothing but drink. I was going through the photo albums of Cole and I. There was our wedding. Cole and I were so happy, I thought. He'll never know how much he meant to me. Everytime he tried to be good, I turned him away, closing off my heart, along with his.

I doubt he'll want me now, I thought. Why would he?

Not thinking I accidentally spilt some of the alcohol onto the picture of him. Shakily, I lifted the picture, and moved the album underneath the bed. My head began to pound like it normally does. I lifted the covers onto myseld as I lay into bed, clutching his picture near my heart. I remember the betaing of my head as I drifted off to sleep.

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

The Cemetary, Behind the Willow

"Phoebe?" I heard his voice say. I turned to look at him, my face hung down in shame."I'm sorry, Cole. I didn't mean to. I cost us our lives. I really-"

"Huuuussssssssssshhhhhh. It's okay. We're finally together now. Nothing will keep us apart. Not the Elders or the Source. We can finally be together. It's wghat we're meant to do."

I was so happy to hear him say that to me. I've always loved him. I alwas will. We're meant to be together. Forever.