Disclaimer: I own very little.
A/N: Look, I don't hate Echizen. He's sometimes even somewhat nice. However, it irritates me to no end that he never loses except to the supernatural players like his father and Tezuka. For once, I want to see Echizen lose miserably. And as there's a 98 chance that's not going to happen in the series, I had to write it myself.
A Cold Day in Seigaku
"Ah, it's time for the ranking matches again," Fuji said, sighing happily. "And the first years are participating,too. I foresee some pretty entertaining matches."
"That's for sure, nyaaa," Eiji said. "What do the blocks look like, fujiko? Which regulars are in danger of being dropped out of the team? Am I with Oishi?"
"You and Oishi are both in A-block, so don't worry," Fuji said, looking at the lists. "B-block has Inui and Kaidoh -- that's one match I want to see; good doubles pairings going against each other are often interesting. C-block has Tezuka, Taka-san and I." He frowned, the everpresent smile disappearing for a moment. "D-block has Momo and Echizen. Most of the blocks seem quite clear."
"Where's Horio? I want to see him play, nya!" Eiji giggled. "I hope he's in C-block; then I can watch him lose to regulars three times!"
"Now, Eiji, don't be mean." Fuji smiled again. "If you want to see Horio losing, you can watch any match of his." As Eiji laughed, he scanned the lists again. "Apparently poor Horio is in D-block with Echizen. That should be a spectacular loss."
"Now who's being mean?" Eiji accused him.
"Not mean, Eiji, just reasonable," Fuji chuckled. "Horio losing to Echizen is as much of a fact as Inui wearing glasses." They both laughed.
"What is so funny, exactly?" asked a slightly amused voice behind them. "Or do I even want to know?"
"Considering it's you, Inui," Fuji said, starting to turn around towards the third boy, "you most likely --"
Fuji never finished his sentence. Instead, he simply stared in shock. Eiji screamed in horror.
"Bad omen, bad omen!" Eiji wailed, flailing his arms. "Ooooishi, save me! The world has gone crazy!"
"Now, really," Inui muttered, watching as Eiji ran away in search of Oishi. "I hardly think my wearing contact lenses is quite enough to justify such a reaction." He turned to look at Fuji again. "Do you have any idea what's wrong with him, Fuji?"
"Well... Let's just say we should probably watch D-block very carefully." Fuji's smile was somewhat worrying -- even more so than usually.
Inui raised an eyebrow but didn't ask anything. He had more important things to worry about. Like, for example, Kaidoh's reaction to his contact lenses.
"Hey, guys? Do you have any idea why Kaidoh has tied his bandanna over Inui's eyes and is leading him around by the hand?" Taka-san asked warily.
"Huh?" Oishi looked startled. "Kaidoh's done what?"
"Don't worry about it," Fuji said calmly. "I'm sure he will calm down as soon as he fnids a spare pair of glasses for Inui." He smirked. "Some things never change."
"Thankfully," Eiji sighed. At this, he glanced at Echizen, who seemed absolutely indifferent.
Oishi sighed. "I guess I don't want to know..."
"Well, this doesn't surprise anyone," Fuji said, looking at the lists. "The regulars have all been winning their matches. This far nobody has managed to get more than one game from any regular."
"Yeah, yeah, really interesting," Eiji said, not sounding very interested at all. "Now come on, Echizen's match with Horio is starting!"
"Ah, yes." Fuji smiled. "I heard Inui predicted 17 more spectators than even in an average regulars match. We're hoping for the new shortest match record in the history of our school."
"Nya, that's really mean, Fuji!" Eiji grinned. "Let's go before Oishi gives us laps for insensitivity!"
Laughing, they headed towards the courts.
"I can't believe this," Eiji gasped. "Horio is in the lead! Nyaaa, this can't be happening for real!"
"Do not worry," Inui said, adjusting his glasses. A glaring Kaidoh next to him provided a rather obvious explanation as to what had happened to the contact lenses. "There is a 100 chance Echizen is letting him lead on purpose."
"That Echizen's spent too much time around Rokkaku's captain," Momo sighed. "See? He's never lost on purpose before."
"He should think about the rest of us, too," sighed Kachiro miserably. "We'll be hearing forever and ever how Horio was the only one to get more than one game from a regular."
"What about yourself, nya?" Eiji asked with a grin. "All victories, right?"
"N-no, Eiji-senpai," the first-year replied, blushing. "I only won a couple of matches, and they were all against other first-years."
"Kachiro has a 53 chance of being a regular by his third year," Inui informed them. "65 if he adds some extra training to his daily schedule. Of the current non-regulars the best chances has Arai with 95." The glasses glinted. "Horio's chances are 0,0002... which is about the chance of almost the entire tennis club suddenly being incapacitated by some sudden illness or the like, leaving at most eight people able to play."
Everybody laughed. On the court, Echizen practically stood still and let Horio gather points.
"Four games to love," Momo muttered a moment later. "It's about the time he makes a comeback."
"Considering Echizen's self-confidence and the fact that his opponent is Horio," Inui said, "there is a 78 chance he will also throw the fifth game. This will be followed by seven quick and doubtlessly humiliating losses to Horio, who actually now believes he is better than Echizen."
"Fshuuu," Kaidoh said. "Only that idiot would be stupid enough to believe that after losing all his other matches." He glared at the two players, then turned around. "Come on, Inui-senpai. Our match will start any moment now."
"Ah, yes, Kaidoh." Inui gave a rare non-threatening smile before following the scond-year away. Eiji and Fuji glanced at each other.
"New Year's," Fuji said.
"Nooo. Christmas at latest," Eiji replied.
"What are you talking about, senpai-tachi?" Momo asked curiously. "Christmas at latest what?"
"I bet those two will be officially together by Christmas, nya!" Eiji replied cheerfully. "That glasses incident is obviously jealousy; Kaidoh doesn't want anybody else to see Inui without glasses!"
"Don't say that, Eiji-senpai," Momo whined. "The thought of Inui-senpai and Mamushi on a date is scary! Who knows what they would do..."
"I bet they'd get kicked out of a zoo," Fuji mused. "Kaidoh would try to pet the snakes and Inui would try to snatch a few little critters to use as ingredients for his drinks.
"Fuji, that's disgusting!" Eiji exclaimed with an amazed and not at all disgusted tone. They soon were fully immersed in a conversation as to where Inui and Kaidoh would go on a date, how the others could spy on them, and what would go wrong. Suddenly, however, a collective gasp went through the crowd around them. As Fuji enquired the reason for this, a shocked second-year replied, "It's already the sixth game, and Horio got a point!"
This definitely attracted the regulars' attention. They all turned to watch the match, their shocked expressions reflecting Echizen's. The only person in sight who didn't seem absolutely shocked was, predictably, Horio.
"This is bad. This is really bad," Momo muttered. "Echizen probably got too lazy and..."
"Don't you dare lose, Ochibi!" Eiji shouted. "If you do, nobody will take the Seigaku regulars seriously ever again!" He sounded genuinely horrified.
To Eiji's great relief, Echizen almost immediately got a point of his own. however, Horio soon got the lead again -- by pure dumb luck, as everybody saw clearly. This continued for a while, Echizen countering with his skills and Horio coping by luck alone. When finally an obvious net ball unexpectedly bounced to the other side of the net, everybody fell silent.
Finally the referee got over his shock enough to open his mouth. Whatever he was about to say, however, was drowned by a sudden yell, "Get Oishi-senpai, fast! Eiji-senpai just fainted!"
The first thing Eiji saw upon regaining consciousness was Oishi's worried face hovering over him. Then he saw others, too -- to be exact, half of the other regulars. "Nyaa, this is embarrassing," he muttered. "Fainting like some girl..."
"Well, it was something of a shock," Fuji said, "so we understand. Echizen seems to have disappeared somewhere, not that I blame him."
"This is a valuable lesson to us all," Tezuka said, serious as ever. "Even if your victory seems certain, don't get careless!"
Despite Oishi's worried protests, Eiji bounced up to his feet. "I'm just fine, nya," he said. "How's Inui and Kaidoh's match going, by the way?"
"As you can expect," Taka-san told. "Inui can predict practically all of Kaidoh's moves, but Kaidoh knows Inui's weaknesses and aims for them. Besides," he then added, "it sometimes looks almost like it's Kaidoh who's predicting Inui..."
"Of course, nya! I can often predict Oishi, too." Eiji winked. "It's the power of doubles!" Suddenly, though, his expression turned horrified as he remembered the reason for his fainting. "...Does this mean Horio will be a regular?" he asked, definite horror in his voice.
"Don't be silly," Fuji said. "Echizen has won all his other matches, and Horio has lost all the others. Echizen and Momo have safely secured their regular spots." He smirked. "It does offer some wonderful chances for teasing, though..."
"Nya, that's right!" Eiji exclaimed. "Let's go find Ochibi so that we can tease him! Losing six to love to the worst tennis player of the century, that takes some skill!"
"Eiji!" Oishi scolded, but was too late. The acrobatic player had already ran away with no worry about his insensitivity, Momo close after him.
"He's hopeless," Oishi sighed, shaking his head as he looked after Eiji. "Ah, well... Hopefully this will give Echizen more of an incentive to train hard!"
"...Oh no." Everybody turned to look at Fuji. "Do you realize just how upset Inui will be for not having been there when Echizen lost?"
"Well, no can do," Oishi said. "Besides, I don't think Inui's going to find out any time soon. By the looks of it, he and Kaidoh will still be playing come tomorrow..."
"Of course I won!" Horio bragged loudly. "After all, I have now almost three years of tennis experience! And I've been training hard while Echizen has been wasting his time in tournaments! And besides --"
For once, Horio actually had more audience than just his friends. The said friends sighed, knowing all too well just how long and loud he would brag about this one victory.
Kachiro suddenly decided to start extra training right away. At the very least it would mean some more time during which he wouldn't have to listen to Horio...