AN: So, I finished my other Sailor Moon stories, but it occurred to me that I'd been considering writing something like this for a while. It's based on a small portion of Time Travel Trouble when I mentioned Mars having destroyed all of Jadeite's clothing on one occasion, but you don't have to read one to read the other- this stands alone well enough, I think.
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own Sailor Moon.
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"I'm going to KILL HIM!"
The other Senshi glanced up from their work curiously. "What did Jadeite do this time?" Jupiter wondered as she set down the flowers she'd been arranging.
Mercury shrugged as she turned her attention back to her book. "Knowing the pair of them, it could have been anything."
"He was probably looking at another girl," Venus suggested knowledgeably before returning to the song she was writing. "Mars really hates that."
"What is she going to do to him?" Serenity asked a little warily, setting aside her deck of cards.
"Probably nothing too bad," Jupiter reassured her as she trimmed one of the blossoms. "For all their fighting, she still loves the idiot."
"Sometimes it's hard to believe," Mercury muttered as the others nodded.
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"WHERE IS HE? I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!"
Mars stomped onto the training field in full temper. The ends of her hair were beginning to smoke, and the remaining Shitennou, along with their Prince, looked at her cautiously.
"Where is who, Lady Mars?" Nephrite asked, prepared to dodge an attack. Sure enough, he was jumping away from a fireball a moment later.
"Jadeite, you idiot! Where is he?!"
"I'm afraid Jadeite left just a short time ago, milady," Kunzite replied coolly. "I believe he heard your bellow."
She glared at him nastily, but didn't bother trying to attack. Kunzite could throw up a shield faster than she could take aim. "Just so you know, it's his own fault when he's dead."
She sprinted off, and the men watched her go tiredly. "Do those two ever stop?" Zoisite asked.
Endymion shook his head. "I think the day those two stop going at it like this is the day they're both dead."
His companions agreed.
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"ARGH! WHY CAN'T I FIND THAT JERK!"
"Is something wrong, Sailor Mars?" Uranus drawled behind her.
The fiery Senshi spun. "Uranus! What are you doing here?"
"The ball is tonight, remember? Queen Serenity wanted all of us in attendance- well, beside Pluto and Saturn. So what did Jadeite do now?"
"He was looking at another girl. He flirted with another girl," she growled. The smoke at the ends of her hair turned to flame.
Uranus blinked. "You're looking for your lover with blood in your eye because he talked to another girl? Isn't that a bit much?"
Neptune stepped up next to her partner. "You know how those things are for her."
The other Outer nodded, clasping Neptune's hand. "Do I get this bad when I'm jealous?"
"Frequently," the aqua-haired woman admitted. "It can be quite amusing. Now, Mars dear, don't you think killing him is a little extreme? If you want to teach him a lesson, he needs to be alive to learn it."
Mars paused, considering. "You mean revenge? I should embarrass him? Hm…"
Uranus watched her warily. "I feel like you shouldn't have said that."
A wide grin spread across the priestess' face. "Thanks for the advice, Neptune. I'll see you at the ball!"
"I definitely feel like you shouldn't have said that."
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Jadeite slowly stuck his head out of the door, listening closely for any sounds of his rampaging lover. The palace was quiet, so it seemed she had finally settled down. With a sigh of relief, he headed to join his companions at training.
They were all watching him as he appeared on the field. "So, what did you do to make her mad this time?" Endymion drawled.
"According to her, I looked at another girl," he responded tiredly. "I didn't though! She was talking to me."
The other men shook their heads. "Forget what you did or didn't do and think of how it would have appeared to Mars," Zoisite explained. "Yes, you were only looking at this other girl because she was speaking to you, but from an outside perspective it might have seemed like flirting. You must know by now how possessive she is."
Jadeite groaned, sinking to the ground. "She really is going to kill me, isn't she?"
Nephrite shrugged. "We haven't heard any screaming for a while. Either she's over it or she's plotting something."
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Definitely plotting something. Mars had watched as Jadeite left to train further before slipping into his rooms with malicious intent.
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By the time the men wound down for the day, Jadeite was absolutely exhausted, sweaty, and had some blood on his arm where one of the others had nicked him. He wanted to bathe and go to bed, but he had to attend the night's blasted ball.
He stalked into the bathing room and ordered the tub to fill, reveling in the magic that made it automatic here. He stripped without a thought and sank into the blissful hot water, letting it soothe the aching in his muscles.
He finished in good time, well before the water turned cold, but as he dried off he realized his clothes were not where they had fallen. A pile of ash laid in their place. He gulped before moving to his bedchamber.
Opening bureau and wardrobe produced the same results. All of his clothing, from the most casual to his formalwear that was expected of the night, had been turned to a fine ash. There was a note resting on the largest pile.
Luckily for you, Sailor Neptune persuaded me not to kill you. However, I couldn't have you thinking you would get away with what you did, so here's a reminder to never do it again.
"Damn it!" he swore, stalking around the room. She had gotten every single thing, even items he had kicked under the bed. She had even decorated the ash that had been his tuxedo, wrapping his bow tie (the only item left undamaged) around it neatly.
Kunzite knocked on the door, ordering him to hurry. In a rush, Jadeite henshined into his uniform before answering. Kunzite stepped in and looked at him quietly.
Jadeite blew out a breath. "It seems that when Mars decided not to kill me, she also decided she wanted some sort of revenge."
"What happened?"
In answer, the younger Shitennou gestured at his closet. Kunzite moved to inspect it. It only took a moment for him to understand. "She burned all of your clothing?"
Jadeite nodded, tunneling his fingers through his hair. It was still damp, so a concentrated burst of power was used to instantly dry it. "Except the bow tie. She knows I hate the thing." He heard an odd muffled sound from Kunzite's direction. "Are you laughing?"
The sound changed to full-out laughter as Kunzite sat on the bed, head in his hands. "I believe I am, yes," he managed around chuckles. "She certainly got her point across this time."
"What am I supposed to do?!" Jadeite lamented. "The ball is in ten minutes!"
His leader sighed. "You'll have to attend in your uniform. I'll speak to Lady Venus- she'll arrange for some new outfits by tomorrow." He began to leave, but paused at the entrance. "Oh, Jadeite?"
"Yes?"
"Don't make her do this again."
The older man walked down the hall, laughing all the way.
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Mars watched her lover with a great deal of smug satisfaction as he entered the great hall. The other Senshi rolled their eyes collectively.
"Was that really necessary?" Mercury asked anxiously.
"Yes," Mars answered gleefully. "It's a lesson he'll never forget."
"I think this is taking things a little too far," Jupiter murmured.
"Serenity won't be happy with you," Venus observed.
"Oh well," Mars shrugged. "His expression was definitely worth it."
"You were watching?!" Mercury said in horror.
She nodded with a wicked grin.
The rest of the girls groaned.
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The men quickly claimed their respective partners, though one pair always remained close to the Prince and Princess. Jadeite, however, seemed quite miffed and remained at the edge of the room. Mars barely resisted laughing evilly.
She was dancing with one of the many suitors her parents sent, given that they were unaware that she was already committed to a relationship. She always managed to send the men on their way easily enough though- most preferred a more biddable woman as their wife, even if she would be the Queen of Mars someday.
She continued in that fashion, dancing with suitor after suitor, purposefully attempting to drive him mad. She had even worn his favorite gown of hers, siren's red and more daringly cut than her others. She didn't care for it overmuch, since Venus had pushed it on her, but he adored it. She doubted it would be much longer before he stomped over and removed the other men bodily.
A mere matter of moments after that thought, she was wrenched away from the minor prince of some planet and pulled possessively against his familiar form.
"Mine," Jadeite growled. "Go away."
The princeling- from Saturn, she remembered, the youngest of a large royal family- dashed off immediately, terrified of the intimidating Earth general. She sighed and turned to face him. "You didn't have to scare the poor boy."
"Mine," he repeated. "If you can pull some outrageous stunt because I looked at some girl, why should I allow you to dance with others?"
She laughed. "So you learned your lesson?"
He turned and glared at the next approaching suitor. "If you want to call it that. You should know, though, that she initiated a conversation. It would have been rude for me to ignore her." She muttered something against his shoulder that sounded rather less than complementary, but he let it slide. "Now, are we done being petty? May we finally enjoy the evening?"
"I was enjoying the evening very well, thanks," she said acidly. "I do not depend on you for enjoyment."
One golden brow lifted. "Oh, really? So you didn't think all those princes were incredibly dull?"
She started to argue, but sighed. "Maybe they were. What's your point?"
"My point," he said triumphantly, "is that you don't want some sniveling prince. You need a warrior."
"I suppose you mean yourself?"
"Of course," he grinned as he nudged her back into the pattern so they could dance.
"Your ego is in desperate need of reduction."
"You can try. I don't think it'll work though." His mouth covered hers before she could come up with a retort.
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AN: So, what did everyone think? This was primarily meant to be funny, and I think it succeeded. As always, I appreciate anything you want to say about my work, so please review! I'm also looking for ideas for new stories. Till next time!