I looked at the skeleton in front of me, breathing heavily as I stood up. This was what? The hundredth? Maybe the two-hundredth? I'd lost count of how many times I'd been killed by him. Despite everything, I wasn't angry anymore. I wasn't frustrated or even mildly annoyed with him. Something inside of me… something told me he was in the right. I could feel like what I was doing was wrong. I hadn't felt this way before.
The entire time I'd been down here killing monsters, I hadn't felt it was wrong. I'd found ways to justify it. I was just protecting myself at first. The goat woman could have been tricking me. Papyrus was a sentry… despite saying he wanted to be my friend it was his duty to take me to the king.
That monster kid… he was on Undyne's side. Undyne would never allow me to live. And to be honest? But the time I'd made it to Undyn it was a little fun. She'd been the only monster to make me keep trying. I hadn't had to really utilize my power to save before her. But she made me keep trying. It had been exhilarating to an extent.
Everyone in between her and Sans had been one hit wonders, Mettaton especially. But now… I suddenly felt an immense amount of guilt. Everything I had done… all of the choice I'd made. They'd all been wrong. Memories of everyone being my friends seemed to be surfacing in my mind. Memories of all of us reaching the surface and being happy.
I looked straight at Sans, tears filling my eyes as I fell to my knees. "What have I done?" I choked out.
Sans looked down at me, a surprised expression on his face. I couldn't blame him. I'd been fighting him for so long, never giving an inch on giving up. I'd killed everyone and shown no remorse until now.
How could I have forgotten everything? How could I have committed such atrocities to my friends? I couldn't figure out an answer for either of these questions. I couldn't comprehend anything I'd done. None of it even felt like my doing at this point. But I knew it was. I'd killed everyone, despite all of the warnings. Time and time again, I'd been given chances to stop what I was doing. But I'd just kept going, and I couldn't make any of that right.
It was still my turn... Sans wouldn't do anything until I did. I looked down at my hands, taking in all of the dust that covered them. I quickly covered my face, feeling all of my sins crawling on my back as I sobbed. The amount of guilt and remorse I felt was unbearable. And yet I was sure that compared to what Sans must have been feeling it was nothing.
"I'm sorry…" I whimpered. "I'm so sorry Sans… I know it doesn't change anything. But I'm so sorry."
Sans just stared at me, his gaze still slightly taken aback. "It's too late for apologies," He said after a few moments, rubbing his eye sockets.
"I know," I sobbed. "I know it's too late and there's nothing I can ever do to make up for this. So please Sans… please…"
"Wha-what?" Sans asked, stepping back slightly and getting in a defensive pose as I looked up at him with a pleading expression.
"Please just kill me!" I cried out, standing up and dropping my knife.
I tore off the locket around my neck, knowing I no longer needed or wanted it. It wasn't mine to begin with. It had felt so right before. It and the knife had both felt like old friends I was being reunited with. They weren't though… they belonged to someone else.
As soon as the locket was clattering against the ground I found myself running towards and latching one Sans, begging him to just kill me there. "I'm sparing you Sans! I won't fight anymore! But please… just kill me! I need to make everything right! I won't kill anyone this time! I promise I won't! I'll get us all out and to the surface! I won't reset again after that! Please! Please just kill me now!"
Sans looked down at me, tears trickling down his face. "I better not see you back here like this again kid," he muttered. "It's gonna be a bad time for the both of us if I do."
"You won't! I could never do this again! I'll get us out and and make sure everyone is happy!"
Sans nodded and pulled my hold away from him. "Pasta la vista, buddy."
Before I could even respond or know what was happening, everything went dark. It was over before I could even blink. "Thank you…" I whispered, closing my eyes and wishing with all of my heart to start over and just wake up in a bed of yellow flowers again.
So yea... I've been listening to the Undertale Stronger than You Response song a lot lately and this came out it and a sleepless night. First time I've really written anything other than a term paper in a long while, so hopefully it's not too god awful.