Disclaimer: I own very little.

A/N: This is a response to the LiveJournal-based 7secrets challenge community with the theme "Leave" and the 5101520ficqifs challenge community with the theme "Jerk". Post-Tokyo, pre-Infinity.


Leave… Behind


Who would have thought that seeing one of the wishes fulfilled would be such a painful thing?

At first they hadn't even realized what had happened. Landing in a new world, all lying on the ground, trying to see what kind of a country they had arrived in. Instincts and senses equally extending out, looking for any signs of danger, tense bodies ready for action if the need for battle should arise.

And then, the bright, cheerful voice they all recognized, however reluctantly. "Kurogane!" the voice said happily. "You have returned!"

Kurogane was immediately on his feet, looking awfully calm and collected for someone who had just been dropped onto the ground before their princess. "I told I would, didn't I?"

"Indeed, that is what my other self told me." Princess Tomoyo smiled brightly. "Ah, but do forgive my manners!" She turned to look at the rest of the group. "Welcome, dear friends, to the country of Nihon. I am Princess Tomoyo. It is pleasant to meet you at last. I hope you will enjoy your stay!"

They all returned her greeting. If a voice or two wasn't quite as enthusiastic as the others, nobody commented on it.


"It's so nice seeing Kurogane-san's world," Sakura said happily later that night. "I've always wondered what it would be like, resembling ours in some ways yet being so different in others!"

"Indeed," Syaoran said quietly, looking around the room. "It's truly quite different from the Country of Clow…"

"Mokona likes the sake here!" Mokona announced. "Finally Mokona realizes why Kuro-daddy likes drinking so much! If Mokona lived in Nihon, Mokona would drink all the time too!"

"You drink all the time anyway, Mokona," Fay said with a little chuckle. "What difference would it make?"

After almost every comment there was a small, almost instinctive pause, waiting for a response that never came. Although they tried to carry on the conversation, the more they talked, the more obvious became the fact they all sought not to mention.

Ever since they had arrived, Kurogane had been talking with his princess. They had no idea what they were talking about – most of the group's adventures had already been covered; they had participated in the telling earlier that day – and were definitely not sure what to think of it. Sure, they were happy Kurogane had finally got his wish fulfilled, but…

"I guess this is where we will split up," Sakura finally sighed, bringing up the subject everybody feared to address. "Now that you've got your eye back, Fay-san, there's nothing binding Kurogane-san to us. Both his wish and his promise were to return here, after all."

"Indeed," Fay said quietly, his eyes – two again – downcast. "It is lucky, I guess, that he abandoned his original opinion of not going to help us out at all. He has been a great help in gathering the feathers."

"We will just have to get the rest of them back without him," Syaoran said quietly. "I sure will miss him, though…"

"We all will!" Mokona announced. "It just won't be the same without Kuro-daddy!"

Fay didn't say anything. He simply stared down at his feet.

"Fay-san?" Sakura asked. "You'll miss Kurogane-san, too, won't you?"

Fay closed his eyes, well aware of the concerned gaze Sakura was giving him. "Not particularly," he lied. "It'll be nice, in fact, not to have him getting in my way all the time." Like he could tell them he was going to miss the big oaf.

"Fay must be sad," Mokona decided as though it hadn't heard his words at all. Perhaps it had just chosen to ignore him. The white fluff ball had indeed spent too much time with Kurogane; it was beginning to pick up bad habits. "After all, Kurogane is Fay's precious person!"

"…And where'd you pull that from?" Fay asked, his eyes flying wide. He hoped it would be interpreted as his surprise at the unbelievable claim when, in fact, he was more surprised at the fact Mokona had actually noticed such a thing. Oh, yes, he didn't want Kurogane to leave.

However, he couldn't hold Kurogane back. It just wouldn't be right. Therefore, he wasn't going to tell anyone – not even the big jerk himself.

A jerk, that was what Kurogane was. After so much time together, all the things that had simply ensured Fay would grow fond of him, all that caring and unselfishness and just plain stubbornness – after all that, the big idiot simply left them. Of course, it had been Kurogane's wish from the beginning, so Fay guessed he couldn't blame him, but…

If he had simply planned on leaving them behind, why had he had to be so likeable?

It wasn't fair. Fay, at least, had made an attempt to stay away, not wanting anyone to get hurt because of his presence. He'd purposefully avoided getting close to anyone – and Kurogane, that big jerk Kurogane, had made useless all his attempts to do so, breaking through each and every one of his carefully crafted walls. And now, when he'd finally almost come to accept the fact Kurogane would be a part of his life from now on – now the jerk chose to come home.

Then again, he probably couldn't blame Kurogane for being a jerk. However much time they had spent together, this was, after all, Kurogane's home world. This was where he had been born and this was where he had grown up. Just because Fay had no desire to return to Celes under any circumstances didn't mean Kurogane felt the same way about Nihon. Ever since the beginning, the ninja had made it clear his goal was to return home. Now he had done so, and they couldn't really blame him for it.

Then why did it have to hurt so much?

Kurogane didn't return until late that night. However, despite it indeed being late, Fay still hadn't been able to go to sleep.


The next few days didn't go any better. Kurogane spent most of the time with his precious princess – the one who did not have misplaced feathers in all the worlds. The others tried to enjoy themselves, getting to know Nihon and the endless luxuries of Tomoyo's palace, but it was all with a sense of quiet resignation – one of them would not continue the journey. Even Mokona wasn't as cheerful as usual.

Fay, of course, kept claiming he could care less if the ninja chose to stay. He wasn't about to tell the truth, as it would have upset everybody even more. At least this way Sakura didn't have to worry about his pain in addition to her own. So what if Mokona kept calling him a liar.

Finally came the morning when they had decided to leave. Tomoyo had tried to talk to them the day before, assuring them they could stay as long as they wished, but they had insisted on continuing the journey. Besides – although none of them said it aloud – the longer they watched Kurogane's happiness in his own world, the harder it was to leave, knowing they couldn't make him as happy.

As usual, the ninja was nowhere to be found. Fay wanted to simply leave and get it over with – he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep his secret if he had to say good bye to the big jerk – but Sakura insisted on giving him a proper goodbye. Therefore, they waited.

"It'll be so sad without Kurogane," Mokona said quietly. "Who will Mokona tease when Kuro-daddy isn't there?"

"You can tease me," Syaoran said, trying to show a brave face to his dear princess. However, he couldn't hide the way his voice trembled. He, too, was devastated at the loss of his mentor.

Fay didn't speak. He didn't trust himself to be able to keep quiet about things Best Not Talked About if he did.

"Oi." They all turned towards the sound, seeing Kurogane standing in the doorway. "What's the matter? Somebody died? You look like you're going to a fucking funeral."

"Kurogane-san!" exclaimed Sakura. "Why are you here?"

"Hey, I didn't spend that much time with Tomoyo, voluntarily at least," grumbled the ninja, dropping down the few bags he'd been carrying. "She just wouldn't let me go. Every time I tried to leave, she just kept coming up with new things to take with us."

"Take with us?" echoed Syaoran. He wasn't quite sure he understood all of this…

"Yeah. As in, things that might be of use while travelling. Food. Clothes. Some jewellery to be exchanged for currency, as it seems to be valuable in most worlds. I kept telling her it's enough, but she just wouldn't listen." Kurogane snorted. "Che. Stupid girl." None of the people present missed the affectionate tone in his voice as he voiced the insult.

"Wait! Does that mean you'll be coming too?" Sakura asked, astonished. "But – we thought –"

"The hell?" Kurogane looked honestly confused – something rather rare for him nowadays. "Why wouldn't I? It's not like I could leave you alone. You'd get yourself killed in the next world if I wasn't there to protect you!"

"But – your promise to Tomoyo-hime –" Syaoran started, then fell silent, not knowing how to continue. This, of course, only gained him a blank gaze from the ninja.

"I promised to come back no matter what. Yeah. And I did, didn't I?" He raised an eyebrow. "I never said anything about staying, though." Then, he turned towards Mokona, who had stayed silent for the duration of the discussion. "Okay, meat bun. Get us out of here before she manages to corner me one more time."

For a moment Mokona seemed too stunned to react. Then, however, it happily chirped, "Okay!" Wings extending, it rose into the air, preparing to transfer them to the next world.

Moments before they were sucked in, a hand brushed Kurogane's, lightly enough to be an accident. Glancing to his side, he saw Fay looking at him sideways. When he gave the blonde a questioning gaze, Fay turned away, something almost resembling a smile on his lips.

Leaving wasn't so bad, Fay guessed, when it was leaving together.