This isn't a very original story, nor is it very well written. I had of a bit of a down day, and felt like writing a depressing story about lovely little Canada. Hopefully it isn't too terrible and you will enjoy it somewhat. Please please please review and let me know what you think! I'm still very new to writing fanfiction so it is always wonderful to hear what people think. Thank you!
-Shizuka Aralia
PS I don't own Hetalia or any of the characters. But I know you know that. ; )
I think what bothered me most about being forgotten at meetings was that there was not one other nation that remembered me. I know that sounds silly. But what I mean is that it would be fine if just onenation remembered me. Just one and I'd be fine. Even Cuba got me confused with America... and America was even worse... We'd always been so close and he still forgot me... Like my birthday... or Christmas... or any other day for that matter...
I tried to tell Alfred once how much it hurt me when he forgot me. I tried to tell him a few days before my birthday this year. I should have known better... He was completely obsessed with his own birthday by then... but I thought if I got close enough to the day then he'd remember...
"Sheesh Mattie I didn't know ya felt that way about it. I'm sorry bro!" His words had made me so happy... and the warm prolonged hug that went along with it made me even happier.
So I woke up on the first of July and thought 'This is the year! This is the year he'll remember! Maybe I'll even get a present from him!' Of course I didn't expect much, but even something ridiculous or stupid was better than nothing... better than him not even coming over...
I made extra pancakes that morning. I had the table set and a large bottle of maple syrup next to a Canadian flag centerpiece I had made. Of course I didn't know when he would come over, but Alfred loved my pancakes so I wanted them ready no matter what. I knew that after he wished me a happy birthday and gave me my gift that his mind would immediately turn to his empty stomach. Whatever empty meant for Alfred that is.
The hours ticked by.
I knew he would come. I just knew it. He had apologized and hugged me.
Well Alfred hugged me a lot... but this one had been special. I was sure of it.
"Food..." I looked down to see Kumanuku... no that wasn't right... Kuma... something. My bear. I saw my bear tugging on the leg of my jeans. "Pancakes?" I asked. He nodded and crawled into my lap and began to eat the pancakes I had sitting before me.
I guess I had forgotten to eat breakfast.
More time ticked by. How could I not be hungry by now? But I wasn't. I just sat at the table and looked at the clock. By now Kumafluff had gone into the living room and I could hear his gentle snores. He was such a silly bear.
Any minute now. Alfred wouldn't forget me this year. Surely not... would he?
I looked at the clock and for the first time my brain registered the time.
It was four in the afternoon. I had been sitting at my kitchen table in a daze for eight hours. I hadn't eaten anything all day.
...But there was still plenty of time! Maybe Alfred was planning something this evening! Yes that had to be it. He wanted to give me the day to relax and then he would surprise me this evening...
I still didn't want food. It was probably a good thing though because Kuma...Kumajiro! Yes Kumajiro had eaten all of the pancakes I had made without me realizing it. I put the syrup away and cleaned the dishes. I could always make more pancakes when Alfred came.
Eight o'clock. I couldn't remember the time passing. But now that it was getting later Alfred would be here soon. Wouldn't he?... No! He would! Then he would burst through the door, without wiping his feet as usual, and I'd get another hug.
It would all be worth it if I could get another hug like the one he gave me a few days ago... I think... Well I'm fairly sure he sees me as a brother... Maple hockey... Why is it that the one nation I want to pay attention... well that kind of attention to me, thinks of me as a brother? He's still so obsessed with England... But this year it would change. He'd surprise me and he'd give me a hug. And when Alfred did that... I'd tell him how I feel. If he hugs me again like he did I don't think I'd be able to hold my feelings in...
He'll come. I know he will.
I fell asleep at some point. The sky had long since grown dark and I had been on the couch with Kumahana. I woke up several times thinking the door had opened. The first time I had leapt up and grabbed my hockey stick to defend myself. Then I realized that it must be Alfred and I rushed to the door.
But it hadn't opened. No one was there. I looked through the whole house... all of the windows and doors were shut... no one was there... I sat back on the couch and dozed again...
Eventually it became morning. Alfred had never come. He hadn't called and I didn't get a letter. There was no email. No text message. No fax. Nothing... I sat in my house alone for the next two days. Then on the fourth who should burst in but... Alfred.
At this point he was the last person I wanted to see. I wouldn't tell him why I was angry though. He needed to realize it for himself. I felt like such a woman for thinking that... but it was true. Alfred never learned if he was told something... half the time he didn't learn if he realized it himself. It was worth a try though.
"Yo Mattie! Guess what day it is!" He bounced up and down in front of me. I was still on the couch where I had been since my birthday... my birthday...
I didn't react to him. I just sat and stared at the wall. Something in me had gone numb when he had forgotten... Either that or simply melted away. Had I eaten in the past few days? I didn't know... I didn't think I had showered either. Where was Kumapillow? I hope he had gotten food...
"Mattie! Wake up man! It's my birthday and it's time to parrrrtaay!" That smile. Usually it was so handsome I couldn't stand it. It made me freeze and stare at him in wonder like he was the most beautiful thing on earth. He was the most beautiful thing on earth.
I didn't want to see him now. I didn't want to hear his voice. I didn't want to smell his scent- soft hints of coffee with a little bit of french fries. Normally I found the way he smelled comforting. Right now though I smelled what everyone else probably smelled- a cheap fast food restaurant... it was making me nauseous.
"Mattie?..." His voice had finally softened in worry... I couldn't give in. No. Not now. Not after he had forgotten. Again. Not after I had told him how much it upset me. I had had to beg for attention. Attention on my own birthday.
"Alright dude is this like some sort of birthday game?" I could feel the anger rising in my chest...
"Mattie I can't guess what the game is if you don't give me a hint dude." My chest was starting to hurt...
"Will you at least tell me where my present is?"
Excuse me?
"That's it you self-centered ass!" I had meant to yell it but it came out in a whisper.
"Bro whatcha say?" I finally had looked into those blue eyes that were then filled with confusion.
"I called you... I called you a self-centered ass. Now please leave my house." I took a deep breath and spoke the insult again. I felt a little better. I felt a little taller. We were the same height but I usually felt shorter than him.
Today I felt taller... only about a millimeter taller... but it was enough. I stood and walked out of the room. I wanted to see the look on his face but I didn't turn around. I was almost out. My unusual dramatic exit was almost complete.
"Seriously Mattie? Why are you being such a jerk on my birthday? Come on dude! Cut me some slack!" Alfred whined loudly and kicked my couch. He hadn't kicked it hard but I could hear the thump. It echoed in my ears for some reason.
I turned around and looked at him. His eyes were full of tears and his hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans.
"Alfred..." He perked up when he heard his name... a little like a dog actually. I normally would have smiled at this thought. Today I simply sighed. "What about my birthday Alfred?..."
His smile stayed on his face for a moment, but his eyes looked confused. "What about your-" Suddenly he stopped. I don't know whether he remembered on his own or whether it was the tears in my eyes that reminded him. My vision blurred rapidly and I couldn't see his face anymore.
"Oh shit Mattie... Oh shit... Mattie I'm... I'm so sorry..." His voice was so soft... so gentle... His arms wrapped around me... God... those stupid arms that I always melted into...
"Please don't cry Mattie... please don't be angry with me..." I hated myself for it but my anger was fading away... Alfred was holding me... he was holding me... I sighed and buried my face in the crook of his neck... he was so warm...
"I remembered I really did... but then I started thinking about my birthday and... well... I got a little caught up..."
Back to being angry. I shoved him away slightly. "I don't want to hear it Al. I don't. I waited all day for you. I've been sitting on my couch since then waiting for you." Where were these words coming from? Maybe I was too tired to care that I was saying what ever I was thinking...
"I was so excited about this birthday Alfred. Do you know why? I was going to tell you I love you. I woke up early and made extra pancakes. I sat all day at my table and waited for you. I wanted to tell you I love you and you are telling me you forgot because you were too busy planning your own birthday to remember?..." By the end my voice was weak as weak as my body... I started slumping... There was nothing to steady myself on expect Alfred though so I simply let myself drop to the floor. Then I realized what I had said... I had told him... I had told Alfred...
I couldn't look at him... I couldn't do it...
But I wanted to. He was silent still. Al never stayed quiet this long. Never. Slowly I lifted my eyes. I was terrified. Alfred was standing completely still his eyes wide in shock.
"A-Al?..." My voice cracked and I cursed it in my head. I was pitiful enough. I didn't need that too.
"You what Canada?" Oh... He called me Canada... He hasn't done that in... I can't remember the last time he called me Canada... My eyes filled with tears again.
"I... I love you Al... I have for a long time..." I somehow managed to get those words out. Somehow I told him all over again what I had been holding deep in my chest for so long...
He didn't say another word. He turned around and headed for my door. I wanted to call out to him. I wanted to reach out and grab his arm. I wanted to hold him. I wanted... I wanted him to love me back... I knew now that it would never happen. I had lied to myself with my silly daydreams. How could a man who never remembered me love me? How could a man who couldn't remember how I felt when I told him bluntly love me? How could I expect that?
He paused at the door and almost looked back at me.
"Happy Birthday Alfred..." It was all I could manage... It was what he had come to hear...
Happy Birthday...
With that he was gone, the door standing open and his form disappearing into the sunlight that was pouring through it... He had called me Canada...