Disclaimer: Not mine

Author's Notes: Thanks to Jedisapphire for the beta

Summary: Tag to 11.11, Into The Mystic

o0o

Dean went into the Gas N Sip to pay for the fill up and grab some snacks and beer for the movie he and Sam planned to watch tonight.

While Sam hung out by the impala with a Lucifer possessed Castiel. Who was readying to leave to meet with a few Angels to discuss Amara.

But before he did Lucifer wanted to use Castiel to have a little fun at Sam's expense.

o0o

"So has Dean figured a way to solve his Amara problem?" Castiel asked, leaning in to catch Sam's reaction, a glint of evil in his eye.

"What problem?" Sam looked up from his cell.

"You know."

"No, I don't know Cas," Sam assured him.

"Dean didn't tell you?"

"No he didn't."

"I don't understand," Castiel said,looking confused.

"What problem Cas?" Sam asked again,concerned.

"I mean, its been so long Sam. I thought for sure Dean would have told you by now."

"How about you just tell me?" Sam suggested strongly.

"I'm sorry Sam, I can't," Castiel declared. "I made a mistake."

"What mistake is that?"

"You can't mention any of this to Dean."

"Why not?"

"Because Dean made me promise to keep this problem just between him and me."

"He did," Sam said, visibly hurt. Which made it impossible for Lucifer to keep up Castiel's stoic demeanor.

"I'm sure he'll tell you soon," Castiel hurriedly said. "I got to go, my ride is here."

o0o

"You've gone awfully quiet," Dean glanced over at Sam in the passenger seat. "Before we got to the Gas N Sip you were a real chatty Cathy."

With no response Dean kept talking. "You were telling me about some book you read. It was boring, the book that is, but I loved hearing you excited and talking about something other then the darkness."

Again met with radio silence Dean made another attempt, "Hey, you okay over there?"

"I'm fine," Sam answered flatly.

Dean pulled in front of the bunker, and once the car was in park, he had to act.

"Hey!" he shouted, causing Sam to turn and look at him. "What's wrong?" Dean questioned, his expression softening as he took in the sad puppy dog eyes, along with the wounded anger. "What happened while I was in the Gas N Sip, Sammy?" Dean asked, in a voice warm and full of concern.

"Nothing Dean," Sam lied. "Guess my mind is back on the darkness," he said, before exiting the car.

Dean closed his eyes. Sam was hurting, and angry, and doing a lousy job at hiding both. This had to involve him somehow.

o0o

After putting the beer in the refrigerator, taking a cold one for himself and the time to have it. Dean then grabbed a couple more , hoping to have a conversation with his brother about what was bothering him.

"Knock! Knock!" Dean called out, through the half open door, before entering. Where he could see Sam seated on the bed, reading, where he'd been since they got home.

"Hey," Dean greeted his younger sibling, offering him the beer.

"Hey," Sam answered, almost inaudibly, taking the brew.

"Come on Sammy, talk to me," Dean pulled out the computer chair, turned it around, and sat on it facing his brother. "By your reaction I know this involves me, somehow."

"By my reaction?" Sam looked insulted. "Don't go thinking you know everything about me Dean."

"You're hurt and you're angry, and it's personal. So how about telling me what I did, so I have a chance to defend myself?"

Sam let out a breath and all the anger and hurt in him seemed to go with it. "I'm sorry Dean. I haven't been fair to you. Is there some kind of problem with Amara you haven't told me about?"

o0o

Dean did the simple math, "Cas told you?"

"Only that there's a problem," Sam answered. "Is that true?"

"Yes."

"Did you make Castiel promise to keep this problem between you and him?"

"Yes."

"So I guess you're back to not trusting me?"

"No. Not at all. I do trust you Sammy. I trust you with my life. This is all on me and I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"Why didn't you?" Sam asked, the hurt seen in his eyes.

"It's hard to explain," Dean said.

"Then try!" Sam spoke loudly empathizing his need to understand.

"I will, Sammy," Dean promised, not quite knowing how.

"I don't get it Dean! After everything we've been through, you felt you couldn't talk to me? I don't understand and why Castiel? Why could you talk to him and not me?"

"This is going to be a crappy explanation but its the best I can do," Dean explained. "You know how its sometimes easier to tell a stranger your problems rather then the person you're closest to?"

"Seriously Dean? A quote! This cliche sentiment, or whatever you call it, is the best you can do! Besides Castiel is not a stranger Dean, hes a friend!"

"But he's not you, Sammy! You're my brother, the most important person in my life. No one is closer to me than you. This, and practically raising you, its what makes telling you this so difficult."

"What Dean? Tell me what this is?"

"This is about a connection Amara and I share because of the mark."

"And what was so hard about telling me that?" Sam's voice boomed, as he paced around the room. "That there is some kind of bond between the two of you, makes sense and it also explains a lot of..."

"...my behavior?" Dean added.

Sam stopped to let out a breath, "Yes. Is there an attraction too?" Sam added, more calmly.

"How did you know?"

"I didn't. Just a guess, an attraction would strengthen the bond, make it harder to break."

"Great!" Dean wondered how things could get worse. Then he took a look at Sam's face and knew what he had to do. What he had to make right.

o0o

"Come here," Dean grabbed hold of Sam's arm, seating him on the bed. Grabbing the computer chair, he flipped it the right way this time and sat facing his brother.

"I want to try that explanation again, " Dean told Sam, searching to find the right words. But talking about something so personal wasn't coming easy for Dean.

"You're safe with me," Sam said, warmly.

"I know Sammy. I should have remembered that, and told you what was going on with me."

"You're telling me now Dean, that's what counts."

"Being your big brother Sammy, and watching out for you. Its not just my job, its also who I am. A part of me will always see you as that little boy. A part of me will always be the big brother wanting to protect you and keep you safe. No matter how old you get. Being a hunter, its my job. All I've ever known and wanted to be. The one thing I'm truly good at, but it's also who I am too."

"When Amara took away my decision making. She took away who I am Sammy. I couldn't be counted on fully to do either job. More importantly there was the chance I wouldn't be there when you needed me most.

Amara is why I didn't take that call from you. I sensed her presence and I couldn't do anything but what she wanted. She has a hold on me I don't understand and I can't fight Sammy. I'm in part to blame for you being back in Lucifer's cage."

"No Dean," Sam interjected. "Lucifer and Rowena are the ones responsible. They had this planned out. If you were there Lucifer probably would have killed you."

"Maybe. But the bottom line is I didn't tell you because I was embarrassed and scared."

o0o

"Hey, this is just temporary," Sam leaned in to give his brother's shoulder a squeeze. "We will find a way to stop Amara and this nightmare with the mark will finally be over for you Dean."

"I'm going to put that hope on the back burner. Can't quite see it yet."

"You will."

"When you go after Amara you'd be better off locking me up Sam. I think you know she'll use me against you and Cas."

"Not going to happen. You are one of the reasons we are going to stop her."

"And why is that?"

Sam stood up, took a step towards Dean and wrapped his arms around him. Seated, Dean's face was buried in Sam's chest. But Dean didn't fight the physical affection instead he wrapped his arms around his brothers waist and held on tight.

"I have faith in you Dean," Sam spoke with a calming certainty. "You will find the strength when it matters and you will be the one in control when this comes to its conclusion. Not Amara."

Dean didn't say a word. He just held onto Sam, his face pressed against flannel, the soothing sound of his little brother's heart beat in his ear. Here Dean felt safe and that anything was possible.