A/N: This is a horrible story idea (in a good way). Fish agrees with me that there isn't enough of this pairing, and the game makes it so easy that I had to. I hope you enjoy it!
By the way, you should know this, but I don't own any of the characters, and I don't own most (if not all in some chapters) of the dialogue either. Everything in between is my doing, except for a few of the more sarcastic comments, which belong to Fish.
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"Z'ere is only one seat from which you could 'ave seen an image of la victim," stated the very large, very pink man…woman…thing at the witness stand.
The young defense attorney yelled, "Hold it!" and pointed his finger in the direction of the witness. "And where, Mr. Armstrong, would that be?" The attorney leaned forward, intent on getting to the truth of the case at hand.
The witness looked at him and smiled. Although he was very likely attempting a coy 'come hither' look, it can only be described as creepy. "Oh la la! Look 'ow you lean towards me, Mr. Phoenix Wright!" At this, the defense attorney in question blushed in embarrassment and ran a hand through his spiky hair. Mr. Armstrong shrugged and continued, "I always attract z'e younger boys! Maybe I should keep you in suspense a little longer!" At this, he attempted to shake the breasts that his mother most definitely did not give him, causing the entire court to cringe simultaneously. The image was burned so permanently into the retinas of everyone in the room that not even industrial strength bleach could remove it. This was proven several weeks later by a member of the jury who to this day can still see it despite his recently developed blindness.
The judge banged his gavel to restore order to the court, although no one really cared, as per usual. "Mr. Armstrong! Tell the court what you know at once!" he shouted.
With another 'suggestive' smile, the witness looked to the judge. "I attract z'e older ones, too, you know, 'andsome! Shall I tease you too!?" With this, he again jiggled the breasts that he did not posess. Luckily, everyone knew what was coming and had the common sense to close their eyes. Except the judge.
"Nnngh…" he cried at the sight.
Unfazed, the prosocutor replied calmly, "I'm already seeing a very hot someone, so I'm afraid you'll be waiting for a long time."
Phoenix blushed a deep shade of magenta. Maya sat beside him, completely oblivious, as she often was, except when Mia came back, but Mia liked to pry so maybe it was for the best that she wasn't present. "I bet she has mocha-cream skin and cappuccino perfume," Phoenix heard Maya mutter. He was rather sure it was more in the area of cheap cologne, two a.m. coffee and excessive hair gel, but he didn't feel the need to correct her.
At that point, the witness continued his statement. "Bien. I will tell you…"
No one noticed Phoenix's loss of composure, and the trial continued.
"Z'ere is only one seat from which you could 'ave seen…"
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Yay! First bit up!
If you liked it, review it. If you didn't like it, review it anyway and tell me what I could have done better. I might even listen to you, but I can't if you don't review.
Just so you know, the chapters of this fic will be fairly short, as only small tidbits of the trial are this fun to misinterpret. This is one of the longest. Also, if I get parts of the trial out of order, I apologize. I got the idea part-way through playing the trial, so I went back to dialogue hunt, leading to some possible chronological mixups. At least I kept the witnesses in order.