Born in a rich and noble family, I used to get everything I need without much efforts. But however, I ended up living here, in a small and ugly place this man called house. It had been a year after I ran from home just to preserve my love with the one I consider as the one who could give me the true love, though we didn't go through everything well. Fights. That was all that we knew. And I started regretting my life for choosing this man as my husband.

Yet...

"Is there something bothering you, Ulquiorra?"

When his eyes stared at mine, I couldn't resist staring back at him, and again—I fell for him. This always happened, again and again. For a moment, I always unable to give him answer, just because my mind wouldn't react as fast as I expected. I was too consumed by him.

"Oi, babe, what's up?" He reached my shoulder and I was like wakened from a daydream.

"Nothing," I answered shortly, looking away to avoid his eyes.

I was too scared to look into his eyes. I was too scared to find out that he really loved me. I was too scared to know that he would never let go of me. Yet, I was too scared to know the otherwise. Living together didn't make us having the best conversation about this.

Back then... I started to think that we were only looking for sex. Sex, and sex. Was that all we've got after we married? It was an irony, if it was true. I started to think that he was only wanted my body, nothing less and nothing more. Or perhaps... it was me who was attracted to the man who I married. But what if my speculation was all true? Could I accept it?

"Babe, you're not alright. Tell me what's wrong." He pulled me into him, sitting me on his lap and I started quivering as usual. Yet, I never refused his touch, but leaning my back on his chest and sighed, sometimes hoping that we would end up like that.

"I am fine, Shiro," I tilted my head, staring at him from my angle and softly leaned a kiss on his neck.

"Nah," he frowned. "Now I see my woman lying to me, heh?" He pinched my cheek, but then placed a kiss on my lips softly and grinned. "What is it, babe? You're my wife, you shouldn't hide everything from me now should you?"

I was preoccupied with my thoughts, and I know he would easily notice that. My eyes glancing at the couch we were sitting on, wondering if I could buy something better than an old brown velvety couch. But I could not just ask some money from my parents since they did not accept me anymore as their daughter. No. Perhaps I had to find some job to get some money. I was not adolescence anymore, was I?

"I will look for a job, I will help you to make money," I said, touching his arms around my body.

"No," he said quickly, as I expected. He was never treated me as an adult woman who could take care of herself, but a little girl who could only give him service in bed. At least... it was what in my mind. Knowing that he was—perhaps—over-protective to me always sickened me.

"But Shiro-"

"No but." He said. "What a woman like you can do, eh? I won't let them lay a finger on you, ya know, Ulquiorra?"

"I-" He started it. He always started provoking me in such arguments. "I can do something you can never imagine, Shirosaki. And stop thinking that they will lay a finger on me! I am not going to be a prostitute or something, you know that, China doll?"

"Tch! Now that you're mentioning it, I start to think that you're going to be one."

Hearing his words was making my head boiled in instant. He was thinking I would be a prostitute to get money? I could not believe those words even escaped my husband's lips. I really did not know what to say, I stopped speaking and only returned an icy glare at him as usual, letting him know that it was unpleasant to hear his words. But I bet he would never realize that he was just hurting my feelings as his wife. He was never admitted it...

"You're too beautiful, you know? You're so tiny, you can't protect yourself." He added, hugging me even tighter from behind and I started to get bothered.

"Look, it is not like that I underestimate you, Shirosaki. But you are not smart. Look what you can do now for us. You cannot even get enough money to buy foods. Look what we have got here. Look what we have got here—look it with your eyes. We did not have a proper house, proper couch, even—a proper bed! You have got nothing, Shirosaki. It has been a year and we have nothing but this. This." I stood up and opened my hands, showing him how terrible our household was. "Now tell me, would you forever work on the ramen shop to feed me? Would you work there to feed your future children? You are going nowhere, Shirosaki. You will torture your family and end up killing me in poverty!"

"Ulquiorra..."

"Silent! You have no rights to speak. I have sacrificed everything for you. And you treat me like this. I really cannot take this anymore. I am tired." I walked toward to bed and laid my body. I could see he was angry hearing me saying those insulting words, but I could not hold myself from saying them. It was all true.

Still...

I felt it was my fault. I was the one who made him suffer even more. He did not have family, he was all alone to begin with. No, he had family once, but they had died long time ago when he was little, and he never told me anything about his family. Or how his life was an orphan. It was a big contrary how was my life and his. And I just made him suffer more and more by running with him and decided to marry him, even though I never knew if he was really in love with me or not.

"Fine! Then why don't you marry other man who can give you money, huh? Why don't you just leave, go back to your family and cry! Tell them how do I treat you so they can throw me to the jail—oh no, maybe they will just kil me, yeah! They'll kill me so you'll be happy that the man you hate the most-"

"Silent! I never tell you that I hate you." I gritted my teeth, it was more than insulting how did he come up with such arguments. Our fights always ended like this—nope, perhaps it was only the start before we started another hard argument, and once we fell into it, it was not easy for us to make up.

I am well aware of this.

"Then tell me whatcha want, woman," I could see how his golden orbs staring at me in anger, but I could not give any words to answer his questions. It must be all obvious for him to understand fully it was him—it was Shirosaki Hichigo that I want. I had him and I was never asking anything more than that. But—

We're just human beings. We could not preserve our life only by the words 'love'.

"I have told you many times before, have I not?" My green emerald eyes quickly looked away, avoiding his stare which could kill my feelings just once I saw him in anger. He was the man I wanted to spend my life with. He was the man I really wanted to keep. And day by day... his love consumed me, devouring me alive—made me even more starving just by staying by his side.

It was hard for me to stay around him—yet, it was impossible for me to get away from him. Each day I saw him laying next to me, holding me closer as if I was the only precious thing he had left, after everyone—and everything—abandoned him. Every morning I always got scared of finding him not laying beside me, then my heart was like going to explode—yet sighing in relief—when I found him in the kitchen, or in the bathroom. That was what keeping me alive, knowing that he was still here by my side, not leaving me.

But the fights we had always made my heart ache. It was like the person I loved stabbing me with a sharp knife right on my chest, ripping my vital organ from its place, throwing me to the true despair. I could not escape, I could not run away, but standing here to fight back—no, but to face the truth that we had to finish this arguments.

"We've gone through all of this," I stared back at him, afraid of hearing what would escape his lips. "I am tired of fighting with you."

"Good, then stop provoking me, Ulquiorra," he responded and I heard how his voice getting calmer as I lower my voice.

Yes, we really needed to stop before everything got worse, and we could never be able to fix it anymore.

He walked closer to the bed, leaning down and kissed my forehead. I could feel how warm his lips touching my skin, and how his gentleness touched my arms. Again, he sent me such sensation I could never resist. I simply clutched my fingers upon his sleeves, hiding my face on his chest as I wispered how I sorry for blaming him for nothing. It was all my choice, thus I could not blame him for that. No, it was more likely I have no rights to blame him.

"Hm?" He looked at me, caressing my cheek as he smiled. His smile which made me amazed. A smile which I could never return to him. "Don't be so sorry, babe. It's not yer fault, okay? I'll try to find another job, ah... I mean something more proper."

"Shiro..." I murmured lowly, hugging him. Everytime I hugged him, his warmth sent through my body, and it made me feel comfort just by knowing his presence.

My man...

"Hm? You're so wet babe, why?" He started teasing me, brushing his lips against my neck while muttering his words in order to turn me on. Yes, he always attempted to do so after we had fights. Perhaps it was his way to make up with me, and somehow I enjoyed every moment we do this. Just until this time, I was thinking if this would be fine.

"No, Shiro. Stop this." I said, determined. But I know it wasn't my husband if he stopped right away. He was kind of a persistent guy who would do anything to reach his goal, and I was not really meant it when I said I want to stop. Go ahead.

He let out a sigh, kept unbuttoning my shirt and exposed my body half naked before he bit the cup of my bra, pulling it down with his teeth just to tease me. I looked at him while my cheeks turning red in sudden as I saw the smirk decorated his face, and he casually licked my skin with his blue tongue.

"S-shiro..." I closed my eyes, hoping he stopped driving me crazy, until I realized he just went further, pulling my bra off and exposed my breasts. I gasped in silence and waited in anticipation as if I did not know what he would do after. Unconsciously, I clutched my fingers on the bed-sheet, panting slightly when he brushed his tongue against my nipple. His golden eyes were staring at me, and all I could hear was my heart's pounding...

My heart starts racing...

While my right hand clutched tightly at the bed-sheet, my left hand managed to reach up at his face, touching his cheek. I could see my own hand shaking when I tried to reach at him. And when he moved his hand down to slide off my underwear, I let out a low moan, closing my eyes. His hand was gently pushing me to the bed and made his way to spread my legs. Somehow I could feel he was staring at me for a moment, yes... even though my eyes were closed, I could really tell he was staring at me.

Love...

Lust...

Both.

"Ulqui-chan~" He whispered, brushing his thumb against my nipple and my response was only a low moan of his name, letting him know that I was there enjoying myself with every touch he gave. "Mhm... that's so cute~"

"Shirosaki..." His tongue brushed my neck and I quivered lightly, he always knew how to satisfy me. Perhaps—

I tried to throw away such thoughts. I would never dare myself to think that the thing between us was only sex. We had more than that, I knew it and I always believed in it. I closed my eyes once more, enjoying how he thrusted in me while groaning in pleasure. Again, clutching on the bed-sheet, I felt my sweat running down my thighs for each thrust. How his cheeks turned red, how he panted on top of me, how those golden eyes staring at me lustfully—yet lovingly.

Helping him finding his sensation, I led his hand to squeeze my breast than holding on my side. I stared at him, this time I wouldn't let my eyes to close, I would like to see him... how his expression was when we did this. I really would like to know. And somehow it was out of my expectation, no—perhaps it was priceless to see how exactly he looked like when we did the intercourse.

I panted, letting the saliva ran down my lips as I tried to breathe properly. He always played hard, but I always enjoy that. Now I could close my eyes, when he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine, kissing me roughly while thrusting faster. I gripped on his arms and suddenly felt dizzy as I came near, almost reaching my climax.

"Babe, the louder you moan, the more satisfaction ya get, y-ya know, huh?" He chuckled, and somehow it was like a spell—when I realized how I moaned loudly, letting out one word I could think of at the moment.

Shirosaki...

And that's what we had got. I let go of his arms, throwing my head back when I felt the pleasure sent through the cells in my body. He was always did this great, and I always felt like in the seventh heaven. This was one of the reasons why I loved him. And I would always remain this way, loving him for eternity.

"Shiro..." I snapped my eyes open and I saw that pale being stared at me with a smile on his face. He brushed my hair with his fingers and kissed my forehead gently.

I knew this. He always treated me this gently, despite of the fact that he was a harsh person I had ever met. Yet, he was never once hurt me physically. Never. And I was sure about that.

"Shiro..." I called his name again and he leaned closer at me.

"Hm? What's it babe?"

"I-" I began, closing my eyes again as I murmured lowly, wondering if he could hear me. "I am pregnant."

"W-what?" His voice turned heavier, and he started shaking lightly. "What did you say babe?"

"Haven't I told you...?" I opened my eyes. I was worried if he would mad about this, but it was surprising to see such a happy face in front of me. And then, I felt his hand rubbing my stomach gently, a smile decorating his face.

"I..." His eyes started tearing. "Ulquiorra... why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"I do not know. I was wondering if you would be mad about this-"

"Baka." He chuckled, moving down and nuzzling my stomach affectionately. "Our first baby~" He kissed my stomach.

"You look so happy, Shiro," I caressed his cheek. "I am glad you are happy..."

"Ne, ne, I'm going to think a good name!" He crawled beside me. "Ah, you'd better get prepared babe, this going to be not easy for both of us. I-" He kissed my cheek. "I'm gonna protect you and our baby."