A Terrible Thing To Waste



Xamot paced in front of the large rocket ship that was being built beneath Extensive Enterprises. Everything was going according to plan. He walked over to where the blueprints were and nodded briefly to the foreman. He was a good man, though a bit strict on the formalities. Everything seemed to be in order here. Next he walked over to a window which looked into a room where the soon-to-be astronauts were getting ready. A Lieutenant Alexander was leading the Astro Vipers in their drills, he was a former astronaut himself until he was caught smuggling NASA equipment off the base.



"Commander. Incoming message from Cobra Commander," one of his aides announced.



Xamot sighed and walked into his office. "Ah, Commander, nice to see you again."



"Desist with the pleasantries. How soon before my shuttle is able to launch?"



"It should be ready by tomorrow, but... It may be delayed. Tomax is away on another errand and..." Xamot began, feeling slightly uncomfortable without his identical twin.



"Hogwash! The mission must not be delayed. If your brother is not present then you will go without him. The two of you have demonstrated that you are capable of working separately. This time will be no different."



Xamot sighed and ended the talk. The mission would be delayed if Tomax had not returned, but he dared not tell Cobra Commander why.



* * *



Tomax approached the Delta Laboratory in Baltimore where Doctor Rebecca Brooks was teaching a class on her new breakthrough in genetic research. Carefully scaling the wall, Tomax opened her office window and took a seat in her chair. It wouldn't be long now until the good doctor returned.



Sure enough, twenty minutes later, the door opened admitting Rebecca and Rock 'n Roll. Tomax, upon seeing the Joe, jumped into action, vaulting over the desk and connecting his foot with Rock 'n Roll's jaw. The Crimson Twin doffed his invisible hat in a low bow. "Doctor Rebecca Brooks. I am representing Extensive Enterprises and have a proposal for you. Your heart's desires for a life time of servitude with us."



"What, what are you talking about?" she asked, willing Rock 'n Roll to wake up.



"We at Extensive Enterprises are looking for the top people in genetic engineering. We hope to unravel the secrets of my brother and I's psychic link. We supply you with anything you want in return for your co-operation and your agreement not to attempt to leave our building."



"You're mad! I won't work for Cobra," Rebecca said, trying to backhand him. He caught the hand with one of his own.



"Not Cobra. Extensive Enterprises. I should warn you that your co-operation is mandatory. I had hoped that we would be able to come to some sort of an agreement but I see that other means are necessary," Tomax said, spraying a gas into her face. She crumpled in a heap on the floor, soon to be joined by Tomax as Rock 'n Roll clobbered him.



* * *



Xamot hung up the phone, satisfied that the supply of extra fuel was on its way. The new Cobra spaceship would go up on schedule, if Tomax arrived on time. As if on cue the back of his head exploded in pain, forcing Xamot to drop to his knees. A quick image of the world from his brother's eyes appeared and faded away, leaving only a faint impression of the Delta Lab. The twins possessed a powerful psychic link that no one was able to explain, yet. That was why Tomax had gone on such a dangerous mission. Everything would work out, though, Tomax had sent that much of an impression before blacking out. The woman had been gassed and wouldn't wake up unless the counter gas was sprayed on her. And the only place that gas was located was at Extensive Enterprises.



* * *



Rock 'n Roll pounded his fist against the table, causing Shipwreck to glance up from his newspaper. "Relax, Rock 'n Roll," Shipwreck said, "look on the bright side. Now we have an excuse to break into Extensive Enterprises."



The pair had spent the last hour getting information out of Tomax, what little he wanted to give them. He hadn't made any secret of the fact that they would need to get in touch with Extensive if they wanted Rebecca to wake up. He had refused to admit to anything else and demanded to speak to his lawyer.



"Right, and how are we supposed to do that? We don't even know where in the place they keep it. We don't even know if he's telling the truth," Rock 'n Roll replied.



Shipwreck folded up the newspaper and placed it on the table, "Let me handle this," he said.



* * *



It was all too cliche, Tomax reflected, a single chair in a room with a light fixture swaying back and forth. The Joes were no doubt watching him through the surveillance camera in the far corner, might as well give them something to look at. He stood and stretched for a few minutes. Next he walked to one wall and did a couple of acrobatic flips through the air and touched down neatly at the other end of the room. He glanced over at the door and saw Shipwreck standing there, looking confused. Tomax grinned, it always helped to play the fool. It kept one's opponents off-guard. He shrugged and walked back to his chair and sat.



"Fancy footwork. I wonder if your lips can move as fast. I bet you figure you've got us right where you want us, don't you. I hate to say it, but you're right. We need to make a deal with you. You give us the antidote and we'll let you go. Nothing fancy, just the antidote," Shipwreck said, hating every word. Giving in to Cobra only made them bolder. Still, a woman's life was at stake, a beautiful one's at that.



Tomax's grin grew wider. He'd won, and he knew it. "Bring myself and the woman to Extensive Enterprises. My brother will meet us in the lobby with the antidote and will administer it there. So if it doesn't work, then you've lost nothing. You'll still have me."



"Whatdya mean 'if it doesn't work,' you slippery snake? It better work or I'll cut you to ribbons." Shipwreck took a step forward, menacingly.



"In rare cases the antidote doesn't work. If that's the case then we will send our deepest apologies to the family and you'll have me on murder charges."



"You've got a deal, but if it doesn't work then you better watch your back."



"If I'm watching my back, you'll just attack my front, Joe. Now let me make a call to my brother and we can be on our way."



* * *



To say that Tomax and Xamot thought alike would be an understatement. In fact, with ninety-nine percent accuracy, the two could almost always predict what the other would say or do. This was because of their psychic link. When they were far apart it took intense emotion or pain to travel across to the other, but when they were close their minds opened up entirely, allowing each to read the other's mind. It was like a powerful form of permanent telepathy. Of course, if Tomax were to die... Xamot shoved those thoughts from his mind as he handled a small glass sphere.



He'd received the phone call about half an hour ago and had made preparations. He wasn't quite sure whether it had been a telepathic message, conveyed via the phone line, or just intuition, but he knew that his brother had something in mind.



Xamot paced restlessly across the lobby, a Crimson Guard out of uniform manning the reception desk, as he waited. Finally, after an hour of waiting, an ambulance pulled up. Shipwreck, Tomax, and Rock 'n Roll emerged, leaving Doctor Brooks alone in the back of the vehicle.



"We've got your brother," Rock 'n Roll called, "now bring out the antidote."



"The Crimson Guards are ready?" Tomax' voice filtered into Xamot's head.



"Yes. All they wait for is my signal. You have to get clear."



"Of course. Excellent plan, dear brother. Ready when you are."



"But of course, Joe, I've got the antidote right here. Catch!"



Shipwreck dove forward, releasing his grip on his prisoner, as the small sphere spun lazily through the air. As it smashed on the ground, Tomax bolted away. Then a dozen Crimson Guardsmen emerged from the bushes and behind pillars to aim their weapons at the Joes. One of the guards detached from formation and collected Rebecca.



"I'm sorry for the deception," Tomax began.



"But we'd rather have both Tomax," Xamot continued.



"And the doctor," they both said.



With the guards barring the way of any pursuit, the Crimson Twins took Rebecca into an elevator. The guard left her in their care and joined his companions.



* * *



Once the doors had closed firmly, the Twins inserted a key into a near-invisible slit in the wall. The elevator trembled and shifted down a dozen floors. When it reached this level, the floor opened up and dropped the twins and their guest into a small room. It was featureless in every way, except for the wooden door at the one end.



Here, Xamot produced the real antidote and sprayed into Rebecca's face. Her eyes flew open and registered the comical grins looking down at her. She screamed.



"Now, dear lady, there's no need for that," Tomax said crisply.



"We decided that we couldn't pass up the opportunity to have such a brilliant mind working for us."



"We're in a rather desperate situation here. All we seek is someone who can figure out how to sever the link between my brother and I."



"Come now, Tomax, she needs to learn more. Follow us please."



Rebecca didn't reckon that she had much of a choice. The twins were mad and would surely harm her if she tried to leave. But where was there to go anyway? The room had only the one exit. She set her shoulders and followed them into the next room, something of an auditorium. She was made to sit in one of the chairs while the Twins, producing bags of popcorn from a nearby stand, sat on either side. Tomax raised his arm and a view screen lowered from the ceiling and, at a signal from Xamot, the film began.



"Newsflash 1992. The space shuttle Neptune departed early this morning, as most of our loyal viewers know, but it seems as though there's been a problem with young Thomas Maxwell. As the shuttle departed orbit he began screaming in pain and finally died. His cause of death is yet unknown. The international world is stunned by this tragic loss."



The Twins stood on either side of the screen. "Thomas Maxwell was our identical triplet," Tomax said.



"His death was caused when our psychic link was stretched too thin," Xamot said.



"We only survived because we had each other."



"So you want me to figure out how your link works in case one of you dies?" Rebecca asked.



"Precisely," they replied.



"You will be working with the other scientists we've captured over the years," Xamot said, gesturing towards a door.



"Unfortunately you won't be able to leave here."



"Anything you require will be gotten for you."



"And your research will be greatly rewarded if successful. The sooner we're cured, the sooner you may go."



"And in the event one of us dies before the cure is found..."



"Our guards have orders to kill you all," the Twins finished together.



Rebecca blanched at the thought, knowing how dangerous their work was. She could see how they managed to motivate their workers. The next door led to a hall of bedrooms, many unowned, leading finally to the massive research lab that would be her home. Tomax pointed out her name on a bedroom door and ushered her in to meet her room mates. Their work done, the Twins left.



* * *



"Why those no good pieces of Cobra trash! I'll murderize them, I'll keel haul them, I'll make them walk the plank if I have to!" Shipwreck said, pacing across the sidewalk. He checked his gun to make sure it was loaded. "Well, I say we go in shooting and don't stop til we have the doc. Just the thought of what those good for nothing twins might be doing to such a beautiful young woman makes me sick."



Rock 'n Roll nodded, barely paying attention to what Shipwreck was saying. He had a point, revenge of some sort was needed, though killing was not an option. Instead, he was eyeing the pair of guards at the front doors and wondering how quickly he and Shipwreck could take them out of the equation. Once the first two were down, they might be able to make it to the elevator without meeting any more resistance... if they worked fast enough.



"Shipwreck, I've got an idea. Follow my lead," he said.



Casually he walked a little closer to the guardsmen, Shipwreck walking beside him, then he broke into a run, sidestepping gun fire and plowing into one of the crimson guards. He grabbed the man's head and forcefully rammed it into the ground, knocking him out cold. Beside him Shipwreck was likewise disposing of his opponent. "That was your plan?" he asked, somewhat out of breath.



"Yup. Run and don't get shot," Rock 'n Roll smirked. "Now run some more." He broke for the elevator, plowing through the guard in the way.



"Just hope the elevator gets here before the back up," Shipwreck replied.



* * *



"Yes Cobra Commander. The rocket will be launched on schedule," Tomax said, adding a telepathic message to his brother. "What a bore. He's not telling us anything new."



"No," Xamot replied in a similar fashion, "he isn't. He's just paranoid. Delusional, really, if he thinks he can control what we do." He switched over to vocalizing for Cobra Commander. "You have nothing to fear. We have everything..."



"Not this routine... Very well," Tomax sighed. "Under control," he said in unison with his brother. "Or maybe not. Intruders, heading this way." He glanced down at the security camera. As he suspected it was Rock 'n Roll and Shipwreck. "We will be in contact with you later, Commander. Good day." Tomax hung up the phone and turned to his brother. "I warned you they'd try this."



"We have no time for that. Let's just deal with them. I have an idea."



* * *



Shipwreck had to admit. It was rather disturbing when they reached the top floor where the twins held their offices. There had been no resistance in the elevator, nor during the ride. When the doors opened there wasn't an army of men waiting, just a pair of secretaries going about their jobs. Amusingly, he noted, they were twins. One of them even announced their arrival while the other gestured to the main doors. All that was missing was for someone to offer to take their hats. But maybe this was where the ambush lay in wait. Behind these doors.



With one kick, pistol drawn, Shipwreck knocked the door open. The Twins, dressed primly in their suits, looked up from their paperwork in confusion. "The doorknob works, I believe," Tomax said.



"Ahh, can the comedy. We want Doctor Brooks," Shipwreck sneered. He holstered his gun warily and saw Rock 'n Roll do likewise. Without saying so much as a word, the Twins shrugged, stood, and walked over to the elevator. Once inside, with the two Joes, Xamot pushed the button to go to the seventh floor.



The journey was short and sweet and deposited them at the end of a long corridor. The pair lead the way down the corridor until they reached a room marked 'Research Lab.' When the door swung open, Doctor Brooks was peering over some test tubes. She wore the traditional blue garb of a Cobra soldier, minus the helmet and mask. She turned at their entrance and glowered at the Joes. "What have you brought them here for? Can't you see I'm busy?" she snapped.



"Uh, Doctor Brooks, we came to rescue you," Rock 'n Roll said.



"Rescue me? From what? From my associates? You fell for my trick just like everyone else did. I'm Cobra, always have been, always will be," she said, turning away.



"Doctor Brooks, Rebecca..."



"Get them out of here!"



In all his years at sea, he'd learned to smell fish, and this whole story smelled fishier than salmon. Ignoring the protests from both the Twins and Rock 'n Roll, Shipwreck walked up to Rebecca and grabbed her by the hair, yanking the rubber mask off. "Aha! Doctor Brooks isn't herself, I see," he said, throwing it on the ground.



"Sapphire, you apparently didn't do your job very well," Tomax said, adding a mental "I told you so" for his brother.



"A minor setback, I assure you," Xamot replied. "It would seem that we have no other option but to turn over the real Doctor Brooks. If she wants to."



"Regrettably, she's in our secret lab. We would have to put one of you to sleep to avoid you learning its location," Tomax said.



"And so that you know we aren't pulling any tricks, one of us will stay here with the other Joe," Xamot concluded.



As far as Shipwreck could see, the Twins had their backs against the wall. The odds of this being a trick were slim, so he volunteered to be the one put under. With Sapphire ready to catch him, Tomax sprayed a fine mist in his face. Then Sapphire and Tomax carried him from the room.



* * *



Shipwreck came to in what appeared to be a movie theatre, a half eaten bag of popcorn at his feet. At first it brought back memories of college when he and his main squeeze would make out in the back of the theatre, except that the person next to him at the moment was not someone he would like to be in that position with. "Tomax! I thought you were bringing me Doctor Brooks," he said.



Tomax gestured to the door behind them where Sapphire was escorting Rebecca. It wasn't clear how long they'd been there, but long enough, Shipwreck figured. He walked over and carefully tugged at her face. Nothing happened. "Uh, sorry 'bout that. Had to check something. We've come to rescue you," he said.



"I... I... I don't want to be rescued," she said. "I've listened to Tomax and Xamot and I realize how much I'm needed here. All they want is a little help with a personal problem. Their motives are not evil. I'm sorry, Shipwreck, I'm staying here. It's where I belong."



"Rebecca, you can't be serious. What about your family?"



"They'll make do without me. Shipwreck, this is something I have to do. For the sake of science and the lives of two brilliant men. I have to do it," Rebecca said firmly.



Shipwreck was stunned for a long time before sighing heavily. It was the real woman this time, and she had made up her mind. There wasn't anyway he could force her to do otherwise. He turned to Tomax, ready for his sleeping gas treatment. When it happened he collapsed to the floor in a heap, no one even trying to catch him this time.



Tomax turned to the two women then. "So glad you changed your mind, Doctor Brooks," he said.



"What choice did I have? You threatened to kill my sister and mother. You left me with no other choice," Doctor Brooks said, storming off.



"She'll be fine, sir, as soon as she accepts her fate," Sapphire said, looking back at the retreating figure. Tomax nodded and, with Sapphire's help, carried Shipwreck to where a rope ladder was suspended from the ceiling. Tomax carried the Joe up into the elevator car and set him gently on the ground. He whirled around and caught Sapphire in the face with his boot as she attempted to climb in with them. "What was that for?" she spat as he hopped back down.



"No one save my brother and myself have ever been down here and returned, so I cannot allow you to leave."



"You expect me to live down here for the rest of my life?" she asked.



"Technically, yes. You also failed us and risked the revelation of our most guarded secret, and for that failure alone, you must die." Tomax drew his pistol and fired once, the bullet tearing through her skull. She fell back, twitched and was dead.



* * *



Tomax and Xamot watched from their office as the two Joes left the building in their ambulance. Not a moment too soon, either. Cobra Commander's pet project was ready for launch. The Cobra Soldiers were loading the last of the supplies into the shuttle. The Twins themselves would be taking a short nap before double checking their belongings. Everything was ready and in position. Soon, Cobra would rule the world.



"Then what of us?" Tomax asked.



Xamot regarded his brother. "We shall find a cure for our powers and be Cobra's financial arm."



There was a long pause before Tomax brought up the issue that had been on their minds since day one. "Are you nervous? Because we're heading on a mission similar to the one that ended in Thomas' death?"



"Yes. Which makes this mission all the more important. In honour of Thomas."



"Why else would we name the rocket after him?"