(A/N: Well, in honor of Whose Line Is It Anyway(?) and Harry Potter, I decided to make a "small" Fanfiction real quick. I realized a few weeks ago, that ABC Family no longer shows Whose Line [Which used to go on at midnight on weekdays and Saturdays (How Dare You Take That Away From Us ABC Family!)], and I just really wanted to do a Fanfiction about it. I know there might be a lot of people who are not interested in Whose Line Is It Anyway Fanfiction's, but either way, I'm proud of myself that I wrote this. So, here we go.)
(A/N 2: Also, I am using a regular writing format. I have read a lot of Whose Line Fanfic's (which are all hilarious!) have a script writing format. I am not used to writing a story-line like this, so I hope you don't mind the regular. Okay, on with the show!)
Whose Line Is It Anyway, Harry?
Harry was walking down the hall, occasionally taking a few deep breaths to calm his nerves. He came to a stop at a door that had a golden star on top of it. Underneath the star, it had two plaques that read, Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy.
Tonight was a special night for witches and wizards everywhere. The first ever wizarding world T.V special, Whose Line Is It Anyway, would be going live all over the wizarding world, with a celebrity cast, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Draco Malfoy. The WWN (Wizarding World Network) has approved of putting the original muggle host, Drew Carey on the show with them, as well. Though, he was a bit shocked that wizards really do exist.
"I – I thought they were just a fairy tale!" He stuttered as the manager, Severus Snape appeared in front of him explaining everything, also explaining how he suddenly appeared in the middle of his dressing room.
"Well!" His friend, Colin Mochrie said who was sitting beside him. "You were wrong… as always…"
Harry knocked on the door twice and waited patiently until the door was opened by his best friend, Ron. "Hey, Harry." He greeted.
"Hi," He nervously greeted back. "We all set?"
Ron nodded, who also looked like he was to pass out at any second. "Yeah, though he's not entirely ready yet."
Harry poked his head inside the room and saw that Draco was staring at his unusual pale self in the mirror. He heard him mutter, "You can do this. You can do this, Draco. You are –"
"Malfoy – I mean, Draco," Harry corrected himself, trying to get used to the fact they were now on a first name basis. "It's time."
If Draco could have gone any paler, he could have. Taking one deep breath, he stood up on his shaky legs and followed Harry and Ron out the door.
"You know what I'm confused about?" Ron asked Harry as they walked together down the narrow hallway.
"What?"
"Why is Draco on here?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why is he on the show? Doesn't he hate muggle's?" Ron explained.
"Can a person have a change of heart?" Draco sneered.
"Depends…"
They came to a halt as saw the door that had lead to the stage. They went through the door and saw that they were hidden behind the blue curtain that hides the backstage.
As they made their way around the stage, they were greeted by a loud roar of cheering. Ron and Harry chuckled to one and other as they crowd of young witches and wizards went crazy. Draco, who was waving at everybody, sat at the end chair. Harry sat in the middle of Hermione, who had came early wearing her best blue blouse with dark jeans, and Draco.
"Alright, settle down, settle – down!" Severus said, using his old teaching voice. "Now, when the red light above you comes on, you will be able to freely to cheer franticly and foolishly as you want." Some people laughed, though he really wasn't joking. "For now, try to contain yourself." He left to go backstage jotting stuff down on his clipboard and talking into the headset.
"Nervous?" Hermione asked Harry.
"Just a little bit." He confessed, but as Draco was biting his lip, he added, "Not so nervous that I want to rip off my own body parts, but just a little." Draco sneered in his direction.
Severus came back in front of the four contestants, looking highly irritated. "The muggle, what was his name – Dew?"
"Drew…" Ron said disbelievingly, shaking his head at him.
"Yes well, his not coming." He simply said.
"Why?" The four chorused.
Rolling his eyes, Severus said, "Apparently, his flight got delayed so he won't be here till tomorrow. We'll have to postpone the show till then."
Harry looked around the excited crowd, chattering and laughing to each other. He suddenly got up and said, "I'll do it."
Severus raised an eyebrow. "Do what?"
"Host the show." He answered confidently.
"Oh really?" His eyebrow went higher, disappearing under his hair. "And who will take your place, Potter?"
"You will." Harry answered simply.
"The hell I am!" But Harry had already taken his clipboard and headset and gave them to Professor McGonagall.
Harry forced him down in his old chair (Making some of the people who were watching laugh) and said, "It's simple. All you have to do is crack a few jokes and make people laugh." Professor McGonagall gave him a microphone and whispered, "We start in three minutes."
Harry nodded and went up the staircase; microphone held up to his lips and waited patiently. He heard a few people say nearby, "Harry Potter is hosting the show?" "I thought this Drew Carey muggle was doing it?" "This is even better than I imagined!"
Professor McGonagall waited across the stage counting down. "In five… four… three… two… one…" The music suddenly started to play by Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom, the red light above them that said live was on and that's when the roar of cheering made Harry almost half-deaf.
"Hey! Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway!" He announced over the loud cheers. "His hair is always mistaken for the Goblet of Fire, Ron Weasley!"
Ron laughed and raised his eyebrows at his friend.
"Her nose is always suck in a book, (I'm not kidding!), Hermione Granger!"
Hermione stuck her tongue out at him and waved to the camera.
"Forced to take my place, Severus Snape!"
There was a surprisingly big cheer for Severus, even as he sneered at the camera.
"And, yes that's his real hair color, Draco Malfoy!"
Draco smiled at the camera, but absent-mindedly touched his hair.
The camera switched to Harry as he said, "And I'm your host, Harry Potter. Come on, and let's start the show." The audience still cheering madly, he quickly went down the stairs before any of the hands reaching out to him can grab him.
He sat at the desk as the music finished and smiled at the crowd. "Thank you, thank you! Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway!" Harry said to the camera. "How the show works is that I'm going to be reading off the games that are on the cards given to me," He held up the cards. "And everything that I say will be acted out in front of you at the top of their minds.
"We have a fantastic show for you tonight, I'm sure, and for those of you who are watching this at home… you should have been here." He said, slamming the cards in the desk without looking away from the camera, earning a few laughs from the audience.
"I know you were expecting our wonderful guest, Drew Carey to be here hosting the show tonight." He paused as the audience applauded. "Yes, well it is unfortunate to say that he is unable to be here with us right now, so I shall be hosting the show tonight." He paused again until the loud applause died down.
"Alright, on this card, it says I should mention that the points don't matter." Harry repeated off of the cards. "That's right… the points don't matter just like Colin getting a haircut." Harry didn't understand what the joke was, but it seemed that the crowd (and Hermione) got the joke better than he and the other contestants did. "Well, whoever this Colin fellow is, I'm sure his haircut is perfectly fine." Again, not understanding why the audience was laughing, he continued on. "The first game we are going to play is Question Only. This is for all four of you."
The audience applauded as Ron, Hermione, Severus, and Draco got up from their seats and stood in front of the stage waiting for directions.
"How the game works is that they are only allowed to speak in questions. If they speak a non-question, I buzz them and they are replaced with the person behind them. Now, how do I buzz them?" Harry said, looking around the desk, not so focused on the people laughing at him.
He saw a few buttons on his right and tested them all out. One of them was a door chime, another was a bell, and another was the sound of a coo-coo clock. After a minute or two, he had finally found the buzzer and looked up at the camera, and said awkwardly, "Got it. Now, moving on. The two of you will start; if I buzz one of you out, the other one will takes his place. Whenever you're ready."
Hermione and Severus were the first ones to start. Hermione looked uncertainly at Severus before starting. "Who are you?"
"Don't you know who I am?" Severus asked dully.
"How should I know?" Hermione asked arms crossed.
He paused, and then asked, "Do you have memory problems?" Much to his displeasure, the audience laughed.
"What?"
"Do – you – have – memory – problems?" He repeated much more slowly.
"What makes you think that?" Hermione asked, hands now on her hips.
"Isn't is obvious?"
"What's so obvious about it?" She demanded.
"Why are you asking so many questions?"
"Why aren't you answering my questions?"
"How should I know?"
She sighed and gave up as Harry buzzed her out and the audience laughed.
Ron came up behind her and said, "Hi." Harry buzzed him out. The audience roared with laughter as Ron cursed to himself. Hermione took his place.
"Why are you still here?" Hermione asked.
"Can I ask myself the same question?" Severus wondered.
"Do you really need to ask me why you need to stay? Or are you doing that so you-can-win-the-game?" She said slowly earning herself a laugh.
Severus stared at her blankly, before saying, "If I said yes, I wouldn't be winning the game, now-would-I?"
"To hell with it." Hermione said giving up.
It was now Ron's turn again. "Is your hair naturally greasy?"
Harry pressed the buzzer several times signaling that the game was over while the crowd went wild in laughter.
"Excellent game everyone. One hundred points each." Harry announced.
"I thought the points didn't matter." Draco said before taking a sip of his water.
"Yeah, well, the cards… he, he."He said awkwardly, and a few girls from behind him giggled. "You did really well in that game, professor." Harry complimented Severus.
"You're not off the hook yet, Potter." He growled dangerously.
"His voice!" One of the girls shouted from the crowed, followed by a couple of whistles and hoots.
"What the f –?" Severus was about to say until the buzzer cut him off.
"O….okay! Let's move on to a game called…" Harry switched the cards around and read, "Two Line Vocabulary! This is for Ron, Draco, and… Harry." The audience laughed a bit. "But since our dear Professor Snape happily taken my place, he will be joining the game."
Severus tilted his head back and grunted. He got up from his seat and joins Hermione and Draco on the stage, and waited. As Harry spent a good two minutes looking through the card, Severus almost shouted, "Any day now, Potter." Most of the girls in the audience laughed, and he shook his head.
"Alright," Harry said, shuffling his cards back into place. "Now, how the game works is that these three are going to be given a scene. Two performers are given only two lines they can say. Hermione, your lines are: That's not very good… and… what's that smell?" He gave a chuckle and the audience laughed as Hermione shook her head.
"Professor Snape, your lines are: Did you see that? and Well, that's not so bad." Severus scoffed. "Draco, you are free to say whatever you want. Now, I need a scene from the audience. Give me a place you'd go on vacation. Specifically, something unusual."
A lot of people where shouting out suggestions. "A giant's mountain!" One person said.
"Forbidden Forrest!" Another one suggested.
"Grandmother's house!" said another.
"I liked the Forbidden Forest. Let's go with that one." He said, jotting down the location as the audience applauded. "Okay, let's get started. Whenever you're ready."
Hermione, Draco, and Severus looked around the area pretending to be deep in the forbidden forest. They took tiny steps at a time, and suddenly, Draco held out his arms stopping Hermione and Severus.
"Alright, I think we're lost." He said miserably.
"That's not very good." Hermione said, shaking her head, audience laughing.
"I know it isn't." Draco falsely snapped.
"Did you see that?" Severus asked curiously.
"Did I see what?"
"Did you see that?" He repeated, earning another round of laughter from the audience.
"See… what?" Draco asked almost frustratingly. Suddenly, he looked forward and his eyes widened. "Oh, God! It's a snake!" He grabbed onto Severus arm and hid behind it. The audience was again laughing.
Severus shook his head at them. These dunderheads are too easy.
"What's that smell?" Hermione asked randomly.
"What?" Draco said, appearing under Severus' arm. "How come didn't smell anything? Did you smell anything, Severus?" He shrugged. "You don't know? Well, you certainly got the nose for it! Now, Hermione," He began to say over the howls of laughter around them. Harry was even covering up his own mouth from the desk.
"That's not very good." She said, pointing towards Severus, who dark eyes were narrowed at Draco.
"Look, Severus, I didn't – Ah!" He suddenly screamed and fall backwards (the audience couldn't seem to get a break from the laughter). "The snake it – it bite me!"
Hermione gasp, putting a hand over her mouth. "That isn't very good!"
"NO! IT'S NOT! Please – help – me!" Draco chocked out, as he rolled around the floor pretending to get a snake off of his neck.
"Well, that's not so bad!" Severus said cheerfully.
"I could… be…dying!" Draco shouted over the laughter.
"Like I said, that's not so bad."
"What's that smell?"
"WHAT…. SMELL?"
Harry, who along with the audience was laughing, pressed the button several times. The three contestants went back to their seats. Severus had a smirk planted on his face. "Amazaing... one hundred points."
Huh, Harry thought. So this is how it feels like giving away points.
"Feel better?" Draco asked Severus.
"Much better." He simply said, and some audience members laughed. He finally turned to them and asked, "Do you laugh at everything or is it…?" The audience laughs again.
Harry says to the camera, "We'll be right back with more Whose Line Is It Anyway! Don't go anywhere!"
The audience applauded and cheered loudly, and was not silenced even as the red light went off. Professor McGonagall came out and asked the crowd to settle down and that they would start again in five minutes.
Draco, Harry, Hermione and Ron all got together in the middle of the stage and chatted while Severus went off somewhere (Probably trying to figure out a way to escape the madness).
"You really are doing well, Harry." Hermione complimented.
"I have to agree." Draco admitted.
"Going soft already?" Ron joked.
Draco glared, but didn't say anything.
Harry suddenly looked around the studio, turned back to his friends and asked, "Why do I feel like something bad is going to happen?"
Hermione frowned. "Why would you say that?"
He shrugged. "I don't know I just do… Wait, I think it has to do with –"
"Alright!" Professor McGonagall shouted. "Get in positions, were ready to start the show! In five…"
Harry went back to his place behind the desk; Draco, Hermione and Ron quickly went into their seats, and were surprised to see that Severus was waiting patiently in his seat.
As Ron took his seat next to Hermione, he raised his eyebrows. "Professor Snape, how did you… never mind."
The music started to play again and the audience started to cheer loudly once more. Harry smiled as the camera began to focus on him. "Hi, and welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway." He paused as the audience cheered again. "For our next game, we will play…" He grabbed the card and read off of it. "Scenes from a Hat." The audience went wild, but Harry just sat there staring into the camera, and the four contestants sat there frowning. "Uh, from the card it says we use a hat and pull suggestion out of the hat that were made from the audience, and act out the scene that is on the paper. But where's the hat – oh, thank you!" Professor McGonagall had just given him the American Stripped hat, and went a little pink as the audience laughed at him. "Alright, you four, come up here."
The audience cheered as Ron, Hermione took the left side of the stage and Draco and Severus took the right side of the stage.
"Alright," Harry dug his hand into the hat and pulled out a yellow slip of paper and read out loud, "'Worst Commercials'."
Ron was the first one up. He stared straight at the camera, pointed his finger and shouted, "Buy this crap!"
Harry buzzed him and laughed, as well as the audience and Hermione.
"'Things You Can Say About A Building But Not You're Girlfriend.'" Harry shook his head at the slip of paper in his hands as the audience oo'd.
The contestants didn't seem so keen on the idea either. Ron's ears turned a deep red, Hermione slapped her forehead, Draco ran his fingers through his hair, and Severus shook his head while covering his face with both of his hands.
Draco was the first one up. He had a guilty grin on his face. Sighing and shaking his head, he pointed towards the sky and said, "I hear they can fit hundreds of people in there." The audience oo'd and laughed wildly. Even Harry and Severus let themselves laugh a bit.
Surprisingly, Ron was the next one up. He motioned Draco to come up with him, and when he did he whispered to him, "Dude, I hear its open twenty-four-seven." Ron and Draco looked at each other and started to laugh. Harry's head was on the table, laughing loudly, as well as the crowd, at his best friend.
To everyone's surprise, Severus was next, and he motioned Ron and Draco to come with him. With Ron and Draco next to them, Severus whispered eagerly to them, "Alright, I go through the front, you both through the back."
The crowd was dying. Ron and Draco started to laugh on the spot, but managed to give Severus a high five (which he proudly took), Hermione covered her reddening face with her hands and Harry was clutching his stomach. It took a while for the crowd (as well as the host and performers) to calm down.
Once they did (though there was still people in the crowd gasping for air), Harry pulled out the next paper. "'Things You Shouldn't Say On The First Date.'"
Draco was the first one up. "Listen, why don't you come back to my place and introduce yourself to my girlfriend."
The audience laughed and it was Hermione's turn. To everyone's surprise, she shouted, "I LOVE YOU! DON'T GO! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! BE WITH MEEEE!"
The crowd laughed and one person shouted, "I love you, too!" Ron shot them a nasty glare.
Draco had gone up again. "Hi, I'm Severus Snape."
Even as the audience laughed, Severus let an innocent smile creep on his face, which is never a good sign.
Ron, with a mischievous smile, came up next. "Hi, I'm the Potions Master and I probably have to wash my hands ten times a day because I am always dealing with animal testacles."
As Ron got off the stage, everyone in the audience was laughing madly. Severus was up next, also with a mischievous smile. "Hi, I'm Ron Weasley and this is my mother…"
Harry buzzed him out, trying hard not to laugh at the expression on his friends face. Yet, Severus was back again in the middle of the stage. "Listen, why don't you just go out with me or else my mother will hear about this."
The audience laughing hyserically, then there was the sound of several buzzes, (Harry was laughing loudly into his arm), and all the four contestants went back to their seats, looking quite pleased with themselves.
"Great, that was just... great. Each of you take five-hundred points. Looks like you got a bit even with everyone." Harry commented to Severus and a few people chuckled.
Severus shook his head. "Oh… not everyone."
"Hermione?"
He shook his head again. "Nope…"
Harry laughed nervously and announced to the camera, "Alright, we'll be right back to find out who the winner is, so don't – go – anywhere!"
The audience applauded as the red light went off and the camera's moved away from the stage. Once again, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco all met up in the middle and chatted.
"I knew it." Harry said once they met up.
"Knew what?" Ron asked curiously.
"That something bad is going to happen. It had to do with Professor Snape."
Hermione scoffed. "Really, Harry? What could you have possibly done that would make Professor Snape go after you?"
Harry shrugged. "I don't know. Well…" He said in deep thought. "I did make him do the show, but he wouldn't want to –"
Their conversation was cut short, because Professor McGonagall came up to them and said to Draco, "We've decided you're the winner tonight, so you won't have to do the next game. Go sit behind the desk."
"Woo-hoo!" Draco exclaimed as he ran to his new seat behind the desk.
"That didn't sound right." Ron pointed out.
"Professor, what about me?" Harry asked confusingly.
"You'll be doing the next game."
"Ah."
"Get it positions. Make a line please… Potter, you on the left… Weasley, your right next to him… Granger, you will be right here… and Professor Snape, you will be last."
They all lined up in the order they were told, all wondering (excluding Severus) what the next game was going to be. Suddenly, the music started to play again, the audience started to roar with cheers, and the camera was again focused on Harry.
"Hi, and welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway. Tonight's winner is Draco Malfoy everybody."
The audience (mostly the women) applauded and cheered for Draco and he sat victoriously at his seat waving all around.
"Now, since he in there and I am up here, Draco will announce the next game. Draco?" He said, turning the spot light on him.
Draco went through the cards and pulled out the next game. "The next game is called, Hoedown."
The audience cheered loudly as the next game was announced. "Can you give us the subject please?"
"Their friendliness is giving me the creeps." Ron said to Hermione, who silently agreed.
"Sure. It says that, First Crush."
A few people from the crowd awed.
"Alright," Harry said uncertainly. "Let's do the First Crush Hoedown.
Luna started the play the theme for the hoedown and the audience started to clap to the rhythm.
Harry, after thinking deeply, sang:
"My first crush,
Started in third year.
I remember perfectly,
she was a Quidditch Seeker.
Though she was in Ravenclaw,
I didn't give a dang.
I'd stand up the tables and shout,
'I love Cho Chang!'
The audience applauded and cheered for Harry, followed by a few whistles.
Ron, who was laughing silently to himself nervously, sang:
"My first crush,
was a quarter-Veela.
Yes, it's true,
It wasn't Hermione-a
But let me tell you something,
that'll make you laugh and bawl.
My first crush,
is my soon-to-be-in-law! THANKS BILL!"
Harry high fived Ron as the audience laughed and clapped.
Hermione, who looked quite nervous sang:
"If you didn't know,
I dated Victor Krum.
Up close,
He didn't seem quite so glum.
Even though we had fun,
the size of a ton.
He wasn't as good as a kisser,
as my boyfriend, Ron."
Ron ears turned red as he hugged Hermione around the shoulders and the audience awed. "There so perfect!" One of them said.
Lastly, was Severus, who looked extremely irritated, yet amused at the same time. After a minute or two, he sang:
"If you ask me,
this is quite ridiculous."
"His voice!" One girl shouted.
"Never under-estimate,
the Half-Blood Prince.
But let me tell you something that is almost worst than Tom.
Harry I have dreams about,
sleeping with your mom!"
The audience laughs loudly, while some stand to cheer, as the Hermione, Ron, Severus, and Harry finish the hoedown. "Sleeping with your mom!"
Draco slammed on the buzzer (He was laughing hysterically) several times, signaling the game and the show was over.
"Thank you ladies and gentlemen! We had a great show tonight! Tune in tomorrow for another episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway! I'm your host, Harry Potter, have a good night!"
The audience did a standing obation, as Draco came up to the stage with Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Severus to say good-bye to the audience. As Luna played them out and as the credits went up, Draco whispered to Harry, "Your right, something was going to happen to you." Then he went into hysterics again.
"Oh, shut it, Malfoy."
( A/N: Till Next Time!)