Never Imagined Myself as a Writer

Sometimes Santana feels like her head might just explode from all the secrets she's been keeping, so she thought it might be best sometimes if she writes them down. Secret interactions, conversations and thoughts from our favourite Latina lesbian.

I can barely write this down and I've never really kept a diary before, but this was the first piece of paper I could get my hands on. My head might just explode from all the secrets I've been keeping up here, so I thought it was best if I just write them down.

Why am I doing this? Well, here it goes.

Today I spotted that fish-faced blond kid in the library. Word is that he has dyslexia, so I thought, oh maybe he just wants to practice learning how to read or something right? Right. So I paid him no mind because I was looking to skim that stupid new novel Quinn has been going on and on about. And then it happened. Fish Face dropped his bag. I tried to cover up my laugh, but he heard me and was all like, "Oh hey you're Santana from the Glee Club right?" and I had to go and properly converse with him. Then I spotted it. A blue notebook with 'Diary' on top. Like the curious girl that I am, I wanted to see what Puffy Lips had written on it. Hey I just wanted to know what his deal was okay? So I quickly yelled, "Watch out!" so he could turn his head and I slipped the diary under my shirt before telling him, "Gotcha. See ya."

And oh boy, I've learned so much. I photocopied some of the pages and highlighted the important bits. Maybe one day I could use them against Salamander Lips.

… I really hope that the guys on the foot ball team don't think Im being vane or any thing because I just really need to no that the lemon joos is still working on my hair that's why I keep looking in the miror. Their aren't many pipol hear with blond hair so I got edge…

… I saw a blond cheeryo thogh and she is fine…

… her name is Brittany. Brittany. Susan. Peirce. Pierce. I need to get that spelling wright.

… Other blond Quinn is pretty to…

… Why is Quinn easyer to tok to than BRITTANY.

… Quinn is nice.

… Brittany is still the hottest tho. Quinn is the purtiest.

… Finn is so kind. I wish I had a brother like him.

… I heard Brittany say she liked aminals today. i want to save some cash and get her a stuffd aminal.

… I really hope they dont think I'm gay. I like blond girls.

Trouty Mouth has a thing for my home girl Britt-Britt! I am so angry. I read through his entire diary twice. I hate that I agree with a lot of what he said. Quinn is the prettiest, I hate her so much. She just waltzed in this school and claimed her throne like a goddamn queen. We wouldn't even be friends if it weren't for Brittany. She latched on Quinn third day of classes when she realized that Quinn was the smartest girl in the room. She used to always want to sit next to ME. God I hate Quinn so much.

And Sam Evans. He has a thing for my home girl. And Quinn too, I guess. I love Brittany. God, not like I'm in love with her but maybe close. I'm surprised at the anger I feel about what he writes about Quinn, like I hate her, but god she's just so ugh. Quinn is… Quinn. I know I promised I'd be honest in this stupid diary but I can't even tell how I feel towards Quinn so for now I'll just settle for silently hating Sam. He can't take my two girls.

Maybe I can hint to Quinn that Trouty Mouth is gay? That would encourage Kurt.

So after reading it twice and photocopying the important bits, I went up to the guppy. I was all like, "Hey you dropped this somewhere."

He looked shocked and was all like, "Um, thanks. How did you know it was mine?"

"Oh I looked through it."

He couldn't take that stupid shocked expression on his face.

"You can have it back," I said as I shoved the diary to his face. "I already photocopied the important parts."

He didn't know whether I was joking or not. I love it when I have an advantage over boys. It's like my gift.

You know what, I'm enjoying this whole writing things down. Ms Pilsbury was all like it's nice to have a safe place where you can just be yourself and so far I haven't really felt the need to impress anybody because no one is going to freaking see what I'm writing so I think I'm gonna continue. Every time I see something at school, and I feel like I have to share, I'll write it down.

Not too thrilled about the fact though that I have a diary. It's like I share something with Sam. Although Britt has a diary too, and I think Quinn has one, otherwise I have no idea what is in that notebook she always has with her. She doodles on it sometimes, but won't let me see. Hm, maybe I could swipe it one of these days. Maybe she wrote something about me. I'd love to know what's in that annoyingly pretty little head of hers. Ugh. I hate Quinn.

Okay so next time I got something cool, I'll write.

For now,

xxxxx

Santana