hii. I know it's been a while, uni has been kicking my ass but..it's brittana week, i had to try writing something! Enjoy!
Day 5- 'firsts'
Santana often found herself wondering if their first kiss meant anything.
She doesn't know why, she just...does.
It seems kind of unfair, especially when her mami always seems to find a way to remind Santana of her first kiss with her dad. A simple peck on her porch in the rain after their first date, something straight out of one of those lame romance movies. "It would have been romantic" her mami would tease playfully, laughter bubbling from her throat, "if my mom wasn't watching through the window holding a kitchen knife just in case 'bad boy Lopez' tried anything". Santana figured long ago that the kiss meant 'don't worry, i won't let her kill you' or 'get used to it, you're stuck with me.'
At least their first kiss didn't mean 'sorry i knocked you unconscious' like her Abuela and Abuelo's first kiss did. Santana was never told the reason why she slapped him, it was always brushed off with an amused chuckle. "I'll tell you one day, Santana" she would always say with a smile.
'Doesn't matter now' Santana thought sadly, pushing away the pain in her chest that came with the memories of the older Lopez. She couldn't really concentrate on her homework as the curious voice in the back of her head got louder until the sound of Brittany shifting against the pillows snapped her out of her daze.
"Did what?"
"What?" Santana felt her brow furrow as Brittany shook her head.
"You asked 'did it mean something'" she explained, "did what mean something?"
"Oh" Santana didn't even know she had spoken out loud. "Our first kiss", she shrugged nonchalantly as if it didn't bother her, "no big deal." She heard Brittany giggle behind her, her chemistry homework carefully pried out of her hands and off the bed.
"Of course it did, silly", her voice was soft in Santana's ear. She didn't have to turn around to know that Brittany had that perfect, all knowing grin on her face.
"Then what did it mean?"
Brittany's arms moved securely around her shoulders, pulling Santana back against her as they sat in a comfortable silence. "What do you think it meant?"
Santana leant back into Brittany's embrace, letting Brittany's curious words take her back to that summer night before high school, where nothing mattered but them. No popularity, no Cheerio's, definitely no boys, just them. The feeling of flying and falling, the feeling of certainty that Brittany would catch her before she hit the ground.
"Besties for life?"
Brittany's lips were soft against her head as she hummed in agreement, fingertips gently brushing stray hair to the side. Santana was happy that Brittany left it as that, her mind wandering to the shy-smiled 'lean over the centre console and bump noses' kiss that happened after their first date. The kiss that left them breathless, and the rest of the neighbourhood awake when Santana accidently elbowed the horn in an attempt to pull Brittany closer.
The kiss that definitely meant 'finally.'
('Wait for me...')
Looking back on it now, Santana had to admit that if she had stopped and thought about it properly, she might have figured everything out sooner. It wasn't really her fault that her thoughts were somewhere between 'fuck i just kissed my best friend' and 'fuck i want to do it again.' Maybe she would have realised that her heart rate spiked with every smile, her skin prickled with every touch, and her eyes wandered inappropriately pretty much all the time. Well...more often than they did before.
('Forever...')
Maybe Santana would have realised she had just kissed her heart away.
('I love you...')
Guess it meant something after all.