Author's Notes: Naruto is not owned by me. I would not have destroyed it so blatantly, and then become so lazy as to just give out free power-ups so easily because I could not think of meaningful training and character progression.

Also, this is a crack story from a really weird idea. It is meant to be really strange, and hopefully give you a few laughs as well. But there should be quite a few times when you will just go "HuH, that doesn't make any sense!" The story is not supposed to. It is just supposed to be odd and entertaining. Free, what do you expect.

The scenario of this is prior to Chapter 441. So, keep that in mind. So, SPOILER ALERT! If you have not read up to chapter 441 of the manga, this will reveal some of those things to you.

Read and enjoy. Review and flame all you want.

SPOILER ALERT PRE-CHAPTER 441

Deep in Fire Country, a fierce battle rages. Pein has made his bid to capture Uzumaki Naruto, jinchuuriki of Kyuubi, the Nine-tailed demon kitsune. Naruto has given it everything he has got, only to discover that it is not enough. In his frustration at his inability to counter Pein and the grief of finally having someone declare their love for him, only to see her life snatched away from him when taking a jutsu meant to incapacitate him, Naruto finally snaps. He succumbs to the evil of the Kyuubi and listens to its false whispers and promises of revenge and makes a move to release the demon from its eternal prison. But before Naruto can make an irrevocable mistake, his father's failsafe engages summoning a representation of Namikaze Minato, the Yondaime Hokage and Uzumaki Naruto's father.

Meanwhile, while this epic battle is going on, Yakushi Kabuto has been on a journey to Konohagakure intent on infiltrating the village and gathering more data in order to continue Orochimaru's incomplete plans of destroying the Leaf Village. Kabuto hears a large explosion and feels the ground quake, and wonders what it could be. The ground shakes so badly that he falters while traveling ninja-style through the trees and misses a branch, dropping towards the ground. He lands lightly, cat-like on his feet and decides to continue his journey on terra firma. after traveling for a good 15 minutes or so he feels another earth shaking thud and congratulates himself for making the wise decision of traveling on the ground.

After another few minutes he sees light filtering through the trees ahead, which startles him. He has been traveling through the forest, instead of on the road, in order to be more subtle. The trees should continue on for quite a distance before reaching the Great Wall of Konoha, which would provide more shade. He has traveled through this area many times and does not remember any clearing. Kabuto instantly feels himself on the alert and continues cautiously through the trees and scattered debris and many fallen branches that is becoming more frequent as he moves closer to Konoha, the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

Suddenly, Kabuto is brought to an abrupt halt by the most surprising site he has ever seen--a large wasteland where the large village of Konoha had been for the past 50 years. His surprise and perplexity wakes a dormant soul within him; his right eye becomes yellow and the pupil is slitted horizontally, and the skin on the right half of Kabuto's face turns a pale ashen gray. Kabuto is not surprised by this development and calmly reaches up and takes his glasses off, putting them in a specially re-inforced and padded portion of his kunai pouch, and proceeds to retrieve a monocle from his shuriken pouch, which he proceeds to place over his left eye. If one were to watch closely, they would be slightly perturbed by the unusual appearance of a person with unmatched eyes, but if they watched a little longer they would be even more disturbed by the fact that the eyes moved independently of each other and seemed just as observant as a pair of normal eyes, just having a great range over which to see simultaneously.

Both eyes slowly examine the great expanse of wasteland before them for some time as the yellow, vertically-slit-pupil narrows in anger at what it is seeing, and the right side of the mouth tightens in anger. Kabuto's mouth slowly opens, forming the questioning words, "Who could have done thisss? Who could have taken my goal from me?" in a strange double voice. But there was no one to answer. It looked as if Kabuto would have to descend into the wasteland to find some unfortunate Konoha survivor from which to extract the answer to his unanswered query.