Notes: Thanks to Mari and Sammy, as always, for the support and feedback! And to Sammy for checking my "case-y" details. This is the closest I've ever come to a case, and it's still not very close. But I'll get there!
Thanks to our amazing readers and reviewers! I was blown away by your INCREDIBLE response to the two Hero stories. I am so, so sorry I haven't responded to reviews, but please know how much I appreciate each one!
Hope you enjoy! I had a lot of fun with this one.
Mind Over Matter (A McRoll in the REAL World Story)
"No, no, that's fine," Catherine said into her phone as Steve came out of the bathroom rubbing a towel over his wet hair. "Are you sure he doesn't want to just reschedule?" She listened to the speaker, then glanced at her watch. "Okay, I can be there in fifteen. Absolutely. I'll see you then."
She ended the call, and Steve raised his eyebrows in question.
"P.A.'s office," she said while she finished buttoning her shirt. "Frank wanted to know if we could move our meeting up. He's in court later this morning and could use the extra time prepping his witness."
"Okay." He shrugged. "We were gonna drive separately today anyway because of the meeting."
She nodded. "I'm just gonna grab something to eat real fast," she said and took her badge and weapon from her bedside table.
"All right, I'll be down in a few," he said and grabbed a t-shirt from the drawer as she disappeared through the bedroom door.
A few minutes later, Steve joined Catherine in the kitchen. She was putting a plate in the dishwasher after wolfing down an English muffin.
"Wow," he said. "When you said you were gonna eat fast, you meant it."
She turned toward him, and he leaned down to kiss her. But before their lips met, an involuntary noise escaped her.
"Hic."
He pulled back a fraction and quirked an eyebrow, his lip twitching up.
"Wh–" he started.
"I have the hiccups," she said.
He smiled, clearly amused. "I see that."
"Hic."
She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply in irritation, and he fought a full blown grin.
Opening her eyes, she admitted, "I might have eaten a little too fast."
He leaned in again.
"Hic."
Snorting, he dropped his head as his shoulders shook with mirth.
She smacked his arm. "Sto-hic."
He swooped in quickly and managed to kiss her this time before the next inevitable hiccup and couldn't help but grin broadly as he straightened.
"I gotta go," she said, shaking her head at him, smiling herself.
"Okay," he said, trying not laugh.
"I'll . . . hic . . . I'll call you after I'm done with Frank and . . . hic . . . fill you in." She sighed, rolling her eyes at the situation.
Nodding, he licked his lips and pressed them tightly together to prevent an outright laugh.
She opened the refrigerator door and grabbed a water bottle. "Gonna get rid of these on the . . . hic . . . on the way."
He nodded again, now not trusting himself to speak.
She rolled her eyes. "You don't have to enjoy this quite so mu-hic."
"It's kinda cute," he said with a smirk.
She shook her head. "Don't get used to it. They'll be gone before I get to . . . hic . . ." She sighed. "My meeting."
"Whatever you say."
"Hic." She groaned and headed for the front door.
"See you at HQ," he called after her.
"Oka-hic."
With another groan, she opened the door and left the house, leaving Steve in the kitchen chuckling to himself.
Steve, Danny, Chin, and Kono were at the smart table reviewing evidence in their latest case involving the suspicious death of a local businessman when Catherine entered HQ. She had called Steve when she finished with Frank Kaewa, the Prosecuting Attorney, so he knew her meeting had been productive, and he also knew that she still had the hiccups.
As she came through the doors, Steve stayed conspicuously focused on the smart table while the other three looked at her expectantly.
"Wha-hic?"
They grinned, and Steve bit hard on his lip.
"And you told them," Catherine said with a sigh in Steve's direction. She looked at the others. "Yes, I have the hiccups. It's very amusing. Hic. Go ahead and get your jokes out of the way now."
"No jokes," Danny said, holding up his hands.
"Have you tried drinking water really fast?" Kono asked.
"Hic." Catherine sighed. "I have had so much water this morning. All that managed to do is make it so I had to pee through most of that meeting. Hic."
Kono winced in sympathy.
"I've also tried . . . hic . . . holding my breath, coughing, breathing in and swallowing . . . hic." Catherine smiled ruefully. "You can see how well all that worked."
"I thought it was drink a glass of water upside down," Chin said.
"That's Catherine's party trick," Danny put in. "Well, not with water."
"Hic." Catherine threw Danny a look of feigned annoyance, and he smiled innocently.
"And anyway, you should plug your nose and drink water," Kono said. "That always works for me."
"I think it's plug your nose and your ears and drink a glass of water," Danny corrected.
"Then how do you hold the glass?" Chin asked.
"Like this," Danny said and demonstrated by placing his thumbs by his ears, pinching his nostrils together with his index fingers, and curling his remaining fingers as if holding a glass.
"I think all that's going to do is . . . hic . . . make a mess," Catherine said.
"Breathe into a paper bag?" Kono suggested.
"I could try to scare you," Danny offered.
"Ha," Catherine laughed. "Good one, Danny. Hic."
"You don't think I could scare you?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I don't think you could scare me. Hic. Particularly after you just told me you'd try."
"Yeah," he said with a wince. "That was probably a mistake."
Steve chuckled.
Danny looked at him. "You don't have anything to add?" He waved a hand toward Catherine who obligingly hiccuped again. "No patented McGarrett hiccup remedy?"
"I don't ge–"
"So help me if you say you don't get the hiccups . . ."
Steve held his hands out. "What? I don't."
Danny groaned and rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on."
"Seriously, I can't remember the last time I had the hiccups." He looked at Catherine. "In fact, I can't remember the last time you did, either."
"Hic." She sighed. "Me either."
Danny turned to her. "My Aunt Patty would say, 'I'll give you twenty bucks if you hiccup again.' "
"Hic. Pay up," Catherine deadpanned.
"Dammit," he said. "That always worked."
"Bite into a lemon," Kono said.
Chin shook his head. "No, drink pickle juice."
Catherine made a disgusted face at that.
"I don't think we keep pickle juice stocked in the breakroom," Steve said wryly.
"Spoonful of sugar," Danny said definitively. "That's what Nonna would give you."
"Now that I'll try," Catherine said. "Hic. A Nonna cure has to work."
Later that morning, Catherine entered Steve's office.
"I'm not seeing anything suspicious in the neighbor's background," she said. "I'm gonna go through his financials again in case I missed something, but really nothing jumped ou-hic."
He winced. "Sugar didn't work, huh?"
She sighed and shook her head. "They'll go away on their own eventually."
He nodded and glanced at the files in front of him. "I'm sure you didn't miss anything on the neighbor."
"I think we should look at the brother-in-law, Skinner, more closely," she said. "Hic."
He looked up. "Yeah?"
"His alibi is weak, and he and his wife were certainly in a position to benefit."
"Okay," Steve nodded.
"Hic."
She took a deep breath, her fists clenching in frustration.
"I could try to scare you," he said, fighting a smile.
"You say the sweetest things," she replied sarcastically. "Hic."
There was a knock on the door, and Steve waved Max inside.
"Hey, Max," he said.
"Commander, Lieutenant," Max greeted them both. He turned to Steve and held out a file. "I have the toxicology report you wanted on the victim, Commander."
"Thank you," Steve said, accepting the file. "Max, what's your recommendation for getting rid of the hiccups?"
"I'm sorry?" Max asked, confused.
"The hiccups. You know . . ."
"Of course," Max said. "Singultus or hiccups, that is, involuntary contractions of the diaphragm followed by a sudden closure of the glottis thus causing the characteristic high-pitched 'hic' sound."
"Hic."
Max nodded at Catherine. "Yes, exactly." He stopped. "Oh."
She smiled ruefully. "They're starting to drive me a little crazy . . . hic."
"Well, while there is no proven cure, I have always found tickling an effective method. I'm sure the Commander would–" He stopped as both Steve and Catherine raised an eyebrow at him. Max cleared his throat. "That is . . . I'm sure whatever method you select will ultimately be successful."
"Hic." Catherine shook her head but was smiling. "Thanks, Max."
"Anything interesting in here?" Steve asked, waving the file.
The medical examiner shifted gratefully into report mode and quickly summarized his findings.
"Okay, thanks, Max," Steve said.
"Good luck," he replied. "With the case and the . . ."
"Hic."
"That."
Catherine smiled quickly in response, and after Max left, turned to Steve and said, "Skinner was a pharmaceutical rep. He had access to multiple drugs. I'll pull phone records and financials."
Steve nodded. "Okay. Grab Chin for another set of eyes to speed up the process. Let's get a little more on this guy and then we'll bring him in."
She opened the door. "Copy-hic."
"I could go get you some pickle juice," he said, his lip twitching.
"What every girl dreams to hear," she replied with a smile. "Hic."
Groaning, she dropped her head back for a moment before leaving his office.
Steve huffed a quick laugh, then picked up his phone to alert Duke they'd be bringing a suspect in soon.
Within an hour, Catherine and Chin discovered several anomalies in the bank records for Mark Skinner, and Steve had Duke send a couple officers to pick him up.
The team was gathered at the smart table strategizing as they waited for their lead suspect to arrive.
"I want a shot at this guy," Catherine said to Steve.
He looked at her.
"If I'm right, this guy murdered his brother-in-law, and I'm gonna get him to admit it," she said firmly. "Hic." Her jaw tightened at the stubborn hiccups. "Just give me a couple minutes, and I'll be ready."
He nodded immediately, recognizing the determination in her expression. "Okay."
She turned and left the room without another word, returning a few minutes later just as Steve ended the call from Duke letting him know Skinner was in one of the interrogation rooms downstairs.
"Is he here?" Catherine asked.
"Yep," Steve said.
"Then let's go."
"What about your . . ." Kono started.
"Mind over matter," Catherine said, looking at her teammates steadily. She paused and demonstrated with a full minute of complete silence.
Steve nodded, a small, proud smile appearing on his otherwise serious face.
"Let's do this," he said.
That night, Steve and Catherine relaxed on the sofa after letting Cammie out for the last time.
"That was a good call on Skinner," he said, his arm along the back of the sofa behind her.
"You would've looked into him," she said, shifting her feet on the edge of the coffee table.
"I would've gotten there eventually," he said with a nod. "You got us there a lot faster. And you got him to confess. He'll pay for what he did."
"I feel bad for his wife," she said.
Steve dropped his hand to her shoulder and pulled her closer.
Catherine sighed. "There didn't seem to be a lot of love lost between the siblings," she continued. "But still, that was her brother, and her husband killed him. For money."
"Yeah," Steve agreed with a sigh of his own.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, each reflecting on the day.
He trailed his fingers lightly over the skin of her upper arm.
"You know," he said, a small smile growing on his face. "It's kind of a shame your hiccups are gone."
"What?" she balked. "Speak for yourself."
He smiled at her. "I was looking forward to trying some . . . unorthodox methods for getting rid of 'em."
She glanced at his fingers which were still moving along her skin. "Like tickling?'
"Not . . . quite what I had in mind."
"No?"
"No . . ." he said, shifting and guiding her to her back. "I was thinking something a little less . . . G-rated."
She chuckled and ran her hands up his chest as he moved over her. "Of course you were."
"How did you finally get rid of 'em?" he asked.
"Told you. Mind over matter."
He nodded approvingly and brushed her hair back from her forehead. "I've always loved your mind." His hand drifted down and brushed the side of her breast. "And your matter," he added with a quick eyebrow waggle.
She smirked in response and pressed her hips closer to his, running her tongue over her lower lip.
He bent closer but she spoke before he could kiss her.
"I'll tell you one thing," she said.
He raised his eyebrows in question.
She scrunched up her nose and shook her head. "It had nothing to do with pickle juice."
Grinning, he pressed his lips to hers for a long, uninterrupted kiss.
Note: Thanks to Esther, whose hiccups a month or so ago inspired this story :-)
All right, REAL McRollers, let's hear your favorite hiccup cures! Mine is staring at my index finger while slowing bringing it up in a big circle to touch my nose. Works for me!
Keep track of all the REAL World stories on our Tumblr page - mcrollintherealworld at tumblr dot com - including a chronological list!
You can still join our mailing list by emailing us realmcroll at yahoo dot com with Add me, please! in the subject line.
And find Mari on Twitter asking your opinions on all things McRoll in the REAL World! Mari21763 and add #REALMcRoller