Kaoru sat down on the dojo steps hesitantly, unsure of how to begin. Thankfully, it was Kenshin who gave her the opportunity to speak.
"Kaoru-dono, is something wrong? Do you need me to do anything for you?" The kind-hearted rurouni peered worriedly at her from under vibrant red bangs. He lowered the towel he was cleaning into the soapy water and rested his hands against the sides of the wash bucket, cocking his head slightly in confusion. He looked so cute that way.
Kaoru mentally shook herself. That wasn't why she was there.
"Kenshin," she began, "why do you...why do you always do the laundry for me?" His eyes widened. i hope he doesn't take this the wrong way, she thought, and quickly continued. "I could do it, you know," she offered. "You do so much for me already. You should take a break."
Kenshin's answer was quick. "You really shouldn't think that way," he said reassuringly. He had answered the question she'd been afraid to voice: am I making you do too much work? "This is the least I can do to repay you for your kindness and hospitality." He smiled widely, and let out a small chuckle. "Besides, Kaoru-dono, I like doing the laundry."
Kaoru looked confused, which caused Kenshin to laugh louder. Until, that is, he realized what he was doing and managed to make it look like a coughing fit.
She looked suspiciously at him, then gave in to her curiousity. "Why do you like doing the laundry?" she asked, confused as to why anyone would like doing a chore such as laundry. Especially a man. But then, Kenshin was far from the typical man. He was...perfect.
Kenshin frowned. The answer wouldn't be the one she expected, but he was going to be honest with her. She would be the first person he ever told about the real reason. He just hoped she'd understand. No, Kaoru-dono always understood. So with a deep breath and a sigh, he began his explanation.
He didn't look at her, but instead at the soapy water inside the laundry bucket. At his thousand bubbly reflections. "When I was hitokiri battousai, my hands always used to be stained with blood, Kaoru-dono." Kaoru watched Kenshin's face anxiously, noting with sadness the far-away look in Kenshin's eyes. It was rare to see him nostalgic or truly open like this. She kept silent, afraid if she spoke, he would stop talking.
"No matter how often I washed them," he continued, looking up at her, "the blood was always there. On my arms, under my fingernails, tinting my skin...and the stench was always covering my hands. I could never escape the smell of blood. I began seeing blood everywhere, even starved myself for a period of time because everything I drank tasted like blood, everything I ate smelled like it." He closed his eyes, remembering. "I'd have nightmares just about the blood on my hands. It was as though...blood emerged from whatever I touched with...." he shuddered. "With my hands."
He opened his eyes and peered down at his hands, almost completely immersed in the bucket of soapy water, clutching the white towel he had been washing tightly. "They were never clean. Never completely clean."
He looked up at Kaoru, which surprised her. She thought he had forgotten she was there at all. "That's why I enjoy doing the laundry, Kaoru-dono. I like having my hands in the water." His eyes crinkled and he smiled. "It never ceases to amaze me that there's no cloud of blood that rises to the top of the bucket to remind me of the people I killed, my past sins. No smell that covers my hands when I lift them out except that of..." he chuckled. "well, soap! They're clean, Kaoru-dono." His eyes darkened. "I still smell the blood occasionally, still see the crimson stains on my hands every once in a while, but...never while I'm doing the laundry."
He looked so innocent, and yet he was speaking about blood and past sins. And he trusted her enough to tell her. He seemed to beg her with his eyes to understand what he was saying.
"Kaoru-dono, I make things white when I wash them. Pure white. It was never possible when I was hitokiri. Clothes I washed would always have red stains...bloodstains...momentos of the people I killed. But now...I have the ability to renew things, make them pure again. I can clean something instead of stain it." He shook his head in wonder, his eyes returning to the laundry he had been neglecting during his explanation. "It never ceases to amaze me. Strange as it sounds, the laundry fascinates me. I can only do it now...that's why. I feel normal. Not like the hitokiri battousai. Like Himura Kenshin. Just...like everyone else."
"Kaoru-dono, is something wrong? Do you need me to do anything for you?" The kind-hearted rurouni peered worriedly at her from under vibrant red bangs. He lowered the towel he was cleaning into the soapy water and rested his hands against the sides of the wash bucket, cocking his head slightly in confusion. He looked so cute that way.
Kaoru mentally shook herself. That wasn't why she was there.
"Kenshin," she began, "why do you...why do you always do the laundry for me?" His eyes widened. i hope he doesn't take this the wrong way, she thought, and quickly continued. "I could do it, you know," she offered. "You do so much for me already. You should take a break."
Kenshin's answer was quick. "You really shouldn't think that way," he said reassuringly. He had answered the question she'd been afraid to voice: am I making you do too much work? "This is the least I can do to repay you for your kindness and hospitality." He smiled widely, and let out a small chuckle. "Besides, Kaoru-dono, I like doing the laundry."
Kaoru looked confused, which caused Kenshin to laugh louder. Until, that is, he realized what he was doing and managed to make it look like a coughing fit.
She looked suspiciously at him, then gave in to her curiousity. "Why do you like doing the laundry?" she asked, confused as to why anyone would like doing a chore such as laundry. Especially a man. But then, Kenshin was far from the typical man. He was...perfect.
Kenshin frowned. The answer wouldn't be the one she expected, but he was going to be honest with her. She would be the first person he ever told about the real reason. He just hoped she'd understand. No, Kaoru-dono always understood. So with a deep breath and a sigh, he began his explanation.
He didn't look at her, but instead at the soapy water inside the laundry bucket. At his thousand bubbly reflections. "When I was hitokiri battousai, my hands always used to be stained with blood, Kaoru-dono." Kaoru watched Kenshin's face anxiously, noting with sadness the far-away look in Kenshin's eyes. It was rare to see him nostalgic or truly open like this. She kept silent, afraid if she spoke, he would stop talking.
"No matter how often I washed them," he continued, looking up at her, "the blood was always there. On my arms, under my fingernails, tinting my skin...and the stench was always covering my hands. I could never escape the smell of blood. I began seeing blood everywhere, even starved myself for a period of time because everything I drank tasted like blood, everything I ate smelled like it." He closed his eyes, remembering. "I'd have nightmares just about the blood on my hands. It was as though...blood emerged from whatever I touched with...." he shuddered. "With my hands."
He opened his eyes and peered down at his hands, almost completely immersed in the bucket of soapy water, clutching the white towel he had been washing tightly. "They were never clean. Never completely clean."
He looked up at Kaoru, which surprised her. She thought he had forgotten she was there at all. "That's why I enjoy doing the laundry, Kaoru-dono. I like having my hands in the water." His eyes crinkled and he smiled. "It never ceases to amaze me that there's no cloud of blood that rises to the top of the bucket to remind me of the people I killed, my past sins. No smell that covers my hands when I lift them out except that of..." he chuckled. "well, soap! They're clean, Kaoru-dono." His eyes darkened. "I still smell the blood occasionally, still see the crimson stains on my hands every once in a while, but...never while I'm doing the laundry."
He looked so innocent, and yet he was speaking about blood and past sins. And he trusted her enough to tell her. He seemed to beg her with his eyes to understand what he was saying.
"Kaoru-dono, I make things white when I wash them. Pure white. It was never possible when I was hitokiri. Clothes I washed would always have red stains...bloodstains...momentos of the people I killed. But now...I have the ability to renew things, make them pure again. I can clean something instead of stain it." He shook his head in wonder, his eyes returning to the laundry he had been neglecting during his explanation. "It never ceases to amaze me. Strange as it sounds, the laundry fascinates me. I can only do it now...that's why. I feel normal. Not like the hitokiri battousai. Like Himura Kenshin. Just...like everyone else."