Home Improvement: The Gothic Mark Chronicles Vol. 1 – The Dark Times
The show opens up with an award winning grunt from Papa Tim the Tool Man Taylor (or TTTMT). The crowd cheers. Tim is trying to "fix" the dishwasher, but is having a hell of a time.
JILL: Tim! Stop messing with that! We'll just hire a REAL fixer upper guy!
*crowd laughs*
TIM: Shut your hole Wang Chung! I'll fix it!
Mark walks in dressed in all black and has black eye shadow and lipstick on.
JILL: Hi honey! What are you doing today?
MARK: Hello mother dearest. I'm not quite sure what I'm doing today. I think I'll sit in my room, feeling depressed about how horrible my life is.
TIM: The FUCK you talking about kid? How horrible your life is?
Tim stands up.
TIM: HOLY FUCK! Why do you have black lipstick and eye shadow on? What are ya, some sort of HOMO!
JILL: TIM! That's enough. Mark, you look fabulous.
MARK: I hate you, Dad! I hate you SO MUCH!
Mark runs upstairs crying black tears.
TIM: The fuck is wrong with that homo?
JILL: TIM! That's your son! Now go talk to him!
TIM: I'm not talking to that homo!
*audience laughs*
Meanwhile, Mark is in his room crying and Brad and Randy enter.
BRAD: Yo Randy, I can't believe Mark is such a PUSSY!
RANDY: Yeah I KNOW! He is SUCH a VAGINA FACE!
MARK: Wahhh, I can hear you guys ya know!
BRAD: No shit, FAGGOT!
Brad picks up little wimpy Mark and throws in against the wall. Brad and Randy laugh.
*audience laughs*
MARK: You guys better stop! OR ELSE!
RANDY: Or else what? You will CRY us to death!
Brad and Randy high five. Mark stands up and walks over to his desk facing against the wall. Brad and Randy start walking towards him. When they are 2 steps away from him, Mark spins around and slashes Brad's throat. Blood spurts into Randy's eyes blinding him.
RANDY: AHHHHHH!!!
Brad is gasping for air, blood spurting out of his mouth.
RANDY: You son of a bitch! You killed Brad.
MARK: I know, brother. Now…it's YOUR TURN!
Being gothic, Mark blends into the shadows and moves his way over to the light switch, turning it off, closes and locks the door. Randy is still blinded from the blood spray.
RANDY: Mark! We were just kidding.
MARK: Just…kidding? Haha…I get it…calling me a faggot is kidding?! Well, Randy, my dear…dear brother…here is ME kidding!
Mark duct tapes Randy's mouth shut and stabs him in the belly. Trying to scream, but unable to call for help, Randy starts trying to get away.
MARK: NOT SO FAST! HAHAHA!
Mark starts stabbing him repeatedly until no more blood is flowing from Randy's veins.
MARK: Now let the fun begin…
Mark starts skinning Randy and Brad making what it looks like, a human suit. He puts on the Brandy suit (Brad and Randy) and starts hopping around in the dark room.
*knock on the door*
TIM: Hey Mark, I need to talk to your FAGGOT ASS!
MARK: Ok Papa, come in.
Tim opens the door and it's pitch black.
TIM: Mark? You in here?
He flips on the switch to see Brad and Randy horribly murdered and Mark wearing the Brandy suit.
TIM: OOOAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHGHHHH?
*audience laughs*
MARK: Hello father. Your family has just went from a family of 5, to a family of 3. Meet your new son, Brandark. It's nice to meet you!
TIM: Holy shit! JILL!
JILL: Yes, Tim? OH MY GOD! Mark! What have you done!
TIM: It's not Mark, Jill. It's Brandark!
*audience laughs*
JILL: Oh Tim!
Jill smiles and embraces Tim.
JILL: Such a wonderful child of ours!
TIM: Yeah, for a faggot, he's pretty good.
Fades to black.
THE END