A/N: Short post-ep for episode 9x08, "This Is What We Do", following the scene with Kensi, Deeks, Roberta and Guy. I've been trying to write a post-ep for 'Silo' but it's not cooperating so I wrote this instead. Contains Densi discussing things, angst and a touch of fluff. Spoilers for season 9.
Stuck With Me
"So, when are we getting married?" Deeks choked on a mouthful of chicken taco, caught off guard by Kensi's unexpected question in the middle of their date-night dinner (which consisted of tacos on the couch, a bottle of wine and a half-eaten tiramisu). He took a hasty drink of water and found Kensi watching him patiently.
"Um…"
"You told your mom, and Guy, that we were getting married next Leap Day. Which is over two years away," she reminded him, looking exceptionally unsympathetic when he reached for his water again. He cleared his throat a few times. Honestly, he'd known this was coming and though he wasn't exactly dreading the topic, he knew it wasn't going to be an easy conversation.
"Come on, you know that was just to get my mom off our backs," he insisted. Kensi snorted and patted his hand.
"Nice try. Still doesn't answer why we haven't planned anything for the wedding," she persisted, serious now. Deeks blew out a long breath, ruffling the top of his hair while he tried to pull his thoughts together in a suitable answer.
"I don't know," he finally admitted, earning a frown from Kensi who had clearly expected a more definite answer. He wished he had one too. Looking away, Kensi stared at the black screen of the TV for several moments and then turned back suddenly with an anguished expression.
"Deeks, you're not having seconds thought, are you? I know the last few months have been rough–"
"God, Kensi, no," he said adamantly as soon as he realized what she was saying. Seeing that she still looked uncertain, he dropped the remains of his taco on his plate and gathered Kensi's hands in his, linking their fingers together. It was his fault that Kensi thought there was any doubt about their future together. Using his free hand, he lifted her chin and looked directly into her beautiful, slightly teary eyes.
"I love you, Kensi Marie Blye and there is no way that I'm not marrying you. You're not allowed to change your mind. You gave me a grenade pin and that means you're stuck with me." Kensi laughed and swiped a finger beneath her damp eyes, nodding as he continued to babble.
"Ok, we're stuck with each other," she agreed with a watery smile. Deeks sighed in relief and tugged her into his arms, wrapping his arms tightly around her torso. He felt Kensi bury her nose in his neck and he pressed a kiss to the top of her hair.
"I love you, Baby," he whispered.
They held each other until a particularly loud rumble emanated from Kensi's stomach, breaking the solemn mood. Keeping one hand still linked with his, Kensi started to devour the last bits of her food while Deeks watched in amused silence.
God, he loved this woman. The absolute last thing he wanted to do was cause her more pain. He leaned back on the couch and pulled a leg up beneath him as he contemplated the best way to explain his conflicted feelings.
"I want things to be more permanent," Deeks said several minutes later. Kensi didn't speak, clearly waiting for him to expound on his statement. "Every time I think about setting a date or picking out flowers, I get this sick feeling in my stomach because I know those plans could be pointless at any moment." Kensi shifted beside him, not looking particularly encouraged by this but he soldiered on.
"Kens, I know I said some things that sounded pretty drastic after you prevented the world from imploding, but I absolutely don't expect you to leave NCIS. We'll figure out a way to have a family, to make us work without giving up everything you've worked for professionally," he finished with a gentle smile, bringing Kensi's hand to his lips, kissing the small cut that decorated her knuckles.
Sucking in a shaky breath, Kensi cupped Deeks' cheek with her free hand and he leaned into it, relishing her touch.
"Maybe I don't want that anymore," she said in what was clearly supposed to be a nonchalant tone. Deeks didn't buy it for a second and hand bite back the urge to joke.
"Just like that?" he asked, fixing Kensi with a skeptical look.
"Yes," Kensi said, then amended reluctantly as Deeks continued to stare her down, "Well, no, but ever since you mentioned leaving the team and LAPD if we had kids, I've be thinking about it. And you were right," she paused to shush Deeks as he made a shocked noise before continuing, "I don't want to start a family and worry that I'm not going to make it home to them, to you, one day. The last few weeks just drove it home even more."
"Wow. So, um, what do we do? I'm pretty sure Mosley will kill both of us if we just up and quit." Kensi frowned and considered for a moment.
"We set a date, maybe about a year from now and in that time, we limit our time in the field, make sure that our replacements are good enough cover Callen and Sam's backs. And plan our wedding," Kensi said with an easy shrug of her shoulders that suggested she was discussing paint colors instead of the rest of their lives.
"Wow," Deeks repeated with a shake of his head. "Are you sure?" There was a part of him that worried Kensi was just going along with him to prevent further dissension. Kensi shook her head, a fond look of exasperation crossing her face as she cradled his jaw with both palms. She pressed her mouth firmly to his, parting his lips for a moment before she pulled back, her expression now fierce.
"I love you, Martin Andrew Deeks. I want to marry you and I want as long as possible with you. So yes, I am completely sure about this," she said, punctuating her words with another kiss. Deeks felt his face split into a wide grin at the absolute sincerity and love in her voice.
"I can't wait to be stuck with you for the rest of my life," he whispered.
A/N: Tada! Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!