"You are my sweetest downfall," Chloe sang. Beca, who was sat on the couch behind her wife, smiled sweetly as she listened to her sing. She rose from her seat and walked over to the piano that Chloe sat at, joining her.
"I loved you first." she sang along, smirking when she saw Chloe fight her own smile from appearing, singing the next line as a challenge. "I loved you first"
Beca pouted and stuck a finger in Chloe's side, making her stop the song abruptly, screeching.
"Becs!" she cried, laughing. She flew off the piano bench and shook her finger at the brunette. "Don't you dare come near me right now."
"But babe!" Beca said, her face full of playful mischief. "It's just so funny how ticklish you are."
Chloe huffed in reply. "Yeah, sure it is! You're just lucky you're superhuman or something, since you aren't ticklish whatsoever."
Beca then uncharacteristically stuck her tongue out at the redhead, who smiled widely and strode over to her wife. She wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and kissed her soundly.
"Love you baby!" she said, giving her a one last peck before walking away, missing the gleam in Beca's eyes.
"Love you too," she said, her voice full of affection.
"Thank you for writing this song for me, baby." Chloe said, her voice undertaking a tone of seriousness. She turned to face her wife. "I know these past few years have been hard. I'm still sorry, even today."
Beca walked up to her and wrapped her arms around Chloe's waist, bringing her close.
"You know that's in the past. I wrote this song because I want you to know that I'll love you no matter what." she smiled tearily at the redhead. "We were meant to be."
5 Years Ago
"What do you mean you're leaving?"
Beca's voice resonated throughout the house. It was eerily silent, something that almost never happened in the Mitchell household.
"Beca, I'm sorry," Chloe said desperately, trying to get her wife to understand. "This is something that I have to do."
Unshed tears from the brunette's eyes told Chloe just how much she had messed up. At this point, however, she was too far in. She couldn't back out.
"Becs..." she tried again, but the smaller woman turned away from her, furiously wiping her eyes.
"If you have to leave, then just go."
Chloe opened her mouth to say something - anything - but couldn't find the words. Whatever she was about to say died in her throat as she looked longingly at the brunette, who was now seated on the couch with her chin on her knees, away from the view of the redhead. She knew she needed to say something. Something that would save whatever they had.
But she caught view of herself in a mirror, her tear stained cheeks, and shook her head. And so Chloe Beale turned around, a whispered "I'm sorry." floating in the air as she took her suitcase and walked out the front door, away from the love of her life.
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
"Are you okay, Beca?" a long-legged brunette asked her friend concernedly.
"I'm fine," was Beca's response - one that wasn't as frustrated as she wanted it to sound. Her voice instead, was weak and tired. She rubbed at her eyes, trying to get rid of the sleep that threatened to overtake her.
"Sit down." Stacie ordered, nudging her friend into a chair. Beca opened her mouth to protest, but begrudgingly sat after seeing the glare on her best friend's face.
After sitting, she realized how good it felt to be off her feet.
"Thanks, Stace." she said gratefully. The other girl just nodded, her eyes sad.
They sat on the couch of Beca's living room. Every picture frame in the house was face-down, and except for the dining room table, everything looked unused. Dust littered the tops of the tables in the kitchen. Empty bottles of alcohol were strewn across the living room table.
"Beca," Stacie began hesitantly. "It's been weeks."
The smaller girl remained silent.
"Do you think...it's time to move on?"
Beca turned to look at the girl, her eyes already shining with tears.
"How could she just leave?" her voice cracked, and she felt as though she had no energy left. Stacie felt her heartbreak for her friend, and scooted closer on the couch to embrace her. She stroked Beca's hair as she listened to the smaller girl's body shake with sobs, and she internally vowed to find Chloe and kill her.
For now, though, she tended to her best friend. Something she would do until the end of time.
As broken as Beca was, she fixed herself together eventually. After the first month of grieving over Chloe, she paved a pathway into acceptance. She didn't know why Chloe left or where she went, but she refused to linger on it.
For the next year, she buried herself in work. She DJ'd every weekend and spent every weekday in the studio, immersing herself in producing music. Her work ethic and talent got her quickly moving up the ladder, eventually beginning to produce songs for big-time artists such as Maroon 5 and Adele. Her dream was coming true, but she still felt an ache in her heart.
Her friends were concerned.
"Beca is overworking herself." Stacie would say to Aubrey, both of whom did not know the whereabouts of their redheaded friend. They would both force Beca to sleep on time, to eat, to be healthy. Without them, she would have forgot.
Even with their efforts, one day Beca collapsed in her office, struggling to breathe. She was immediately sent to the hospital, and after days of testing, Beca Mitchell was given the grim diagnosis of lung cancer.
Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread, and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us, and the Bible didn't mention us
And the Bible didn't mention us, not even once...
Beca stared at herself in the mirror, wondering how her life had fallen so far in such a short amount of time. She ran her fingers through her hair, half expecting for some to fall out, yet none did.
Her friends were her only support group, and she didn't know what she would have done without them. It had been two months since her diagnosis, and she was prepped for chemotherapy. She was taken out of the spotlight of her job, her boss ordering her to rest as much as possible. She fought against this at first, refusing to rest and instead barricaded herself in her studio.
Stacie and Aubrey was then given permission to break the door open, and so they did. They dragged Beca out of the room, with the small girl kicking and screaming the whole way.
"Why are you doing this?" she cried. "I need this, don't you see?" The two girls felt their heart break as they listened to Beca cry. "This is the only thing I have left. Why are you taking it away from me?"
She had stopped fighting halfway to the car, resignation written all over her face. And at that point, Beca Mitchell had accepted her fate.
The morning of her first chemotherapy treatment, Beca awoke to a knock on her door. She reluctantly rose, her chest constricted. She gritted her teeth, fighting against her loss of breath as she made her way to the front door.
"Stacie, I'm fine." she grumbled as she unlocked the door. "You seriously don't have to check up on-" her voice died in her throat as she opened the door, a set of very familiar crystal blue eyes staring back at her.
"Chloe?" she whispered. She felt her hand shaking as she dropped it from the door handle. She shut her eyes tight.
"Oh my God, now I'm having hallucinations?" she said to herself, shaking her head furiously. She opened her eyes, and again saw those blue eyes that haunted her dreams looking into hers, unshed tears threatening to spill over.
"Beca." Chloe said. Beca's head screamed at her to shut the door in the redhead's face, but her heart took over. Her shaky hand reached out to touch the other, and upon feeling her be real, she let out a shuddering breath.
"Chloe." she whispered again. She felt her hand being taken, but didn't see it happening as she looked into those eyes she missed so much.
"Beca, I'm sorry." Chloe's voice caught in her throat. "I didn't want to leave, I swear."
Beca tried her best to concentrate on her words, but she could only focus on the tears that spilled from crystal blue.
"Don't cry," she said softly. She heard Chloe sniffle and wipe her eyes. "Um...come in?"
Beca opened the door a little wider, despite her brain's protests. Chloe obliged carefully, taking a moment to look around the house. Her heart broke upon seeing the picture frames, still face-down where they were perched.
"Why are you here?" Beca said, an edge to her voice as her brain finally began winning its battle versus her heart. "Why did you leave? You think you can just come back and-"
"No!" Chloe interrupted desperately. "That's not it at all."
Beca felt a bit faint from her lack of sleep, and she struggled to control her breathing.
"How about this," she began. "You stay here. I'm going to go to my doctor's appointment, and when I get back I'll either nap and realize this is all a dream, or you'll still be here and you can explain yourself."
"Doctor's appointment?" Chloe said concernedly. "You only went to those when you were forced to..."
Beca laughed bitterly. "Let's just say, I kind of have to go now."
Chloe swept her eyes over Beca, finally noting the bags under her eyes. She looked much more underweight than she had before, and overall radiated a sickly tone.
"Becs," she said, worry lacing her tone. "Are you oka-"
"You don't get to ask me that." Beca interrupted. Her phone rang just then, and she held up a silent finger as she picked it up.
"Hey, Stace." she said into the phone. Chloe heard a muffled reply, and Beca nodded, despite Stacie not being able to see her. "Okay, I'll be right out."
Beca hung up the phone, and turned to Chloe.
"Like I said, your choice."
She stood up, grabbed her jacket from the floor, and walked to the door without another word. Chloe trailed behind her hesitantly. The smaller girl opened the door and walked out, leaving the door open for Chloe to make a decision. She watched Beca walk to the passenger seat of Stacie's car, who had turned to give her a bright smile - a smile that quickly died when she saw the redhead standing on Beca's front step.
If looks could kill, Chloe would have died right then and there. She watched nervously as Stacie furiously unbuckled her seatbelt, and watch alarm cover Beca's features.
"Stacie, stop!" she shouted, but it was too late. Stacie had opened her door and ran towards the redhead.
"How dare you!" she screamed. "How dare you come back here? Are you out of your fucking mind?" she grabbed Chloe's shoulders and shook her as she stood, frozen.
"Do you realize what you've done?" Stacie continued. "I should kill you right now!"
Chloe snapped back into reality and she retaliated, her shoulders beginning to hurt from the pressure of Stacie's fingers.
"Stacie!" Beca shouted again. She walked up to the taller brunette and attempted to force her arms off. "We're going to be late!" she said, rather than defending Chloe.
Stacie's face darkened and she leaned in toward the redhead, ceasing her shaking.
"I swear on my life if you hurt her again, you're dead."
With that, she turned on her heel and looped her arms through Beca's, despite the hilarious height difference, and helped her to the car.
Chloe cried as she watched the two leave, wondering if somehow things could go back to normal again.
Hours later, Chloe was sat on Beca's couch, unmoving. After Stacie and Beca had left, she had returned to her spot on the couch, knees brought up to her chest, thinking. She contemplated calling Aubrey, but she was sure she would get the same treatment from her as she did Stacie.
So she waited. Her stupor was broken when she heard keys jingling in the door, and she sat up quickly. The door opened and Beca entered, exhausted.
"Beca..." she said softly. She saw the brunette look up, a relieved expression written all over her face, before it was replaced with the same tiredness that had been there before.
"You're still here." she noted. Chloe nodded.
"I'm guessing that means you're here to explain everything." Beca said, and Chloe nodded again. "Give me a moment, then."
Chloe watched as Beca went into her bedroom - their bedroom? - and held her breath as she felt her heart race. Anxiety took over her muscles, and her hands shook just as much as Beca's had when she had first opened that door.
She waited for a couple minutes, growing increasingly concerned when Beca didn't come back out. Ten more minutes passed, and she finally got up from her seat from the couch and tentatively walked towards the bedroom. She gave a soft knock, but when she didn't get a response, she pushed open the door.
What she saw broke her heart, if it were even possible to break anymore at this point. Beca was sat on the floor, facing the mirror she was staring catatonically into. In her hand was her hair, and on her face were streaks of tears.
"Beca?" Chloe said carefully, as it finally registered in her head what was wrong with Beca. She sat down next to the brunette, whose resolve broke as her body began shaking with sobs. She leaned over and rested her head on Chloe's shoulder, who quickly wrapped an arm around the sobbing brunette, tears of her own falling down her face.
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met...
The two sat like that for an hour or so before Beca sniffled and removed her head from Chloe's shoulder. She wiped her eyes, feeling the exhaustion even worse now.
Chloe squeezed her shoulder before retracting her arm. Beca turned to face her.
"Sorry about that." she said softly.
"You have nothing to apologize for, Becs." Chloe replied, watching as Beca gave her a tiny smile at the sound of her nickname again.
"So I guess you've figured it out..I was at my second chemotherapy session to treat my lung cancer."
Chloe felt tears well up in her eyes again, but refused to let them fall.
"Beca, I'm so sorry." she said painfully. She watched the brunette shake her head.
"Don't be...it's not like it's your fault or anything."
"But I should have been here." Chloe replied. "I should have been here." she repeated, sadness overtaking her features.
"Care to explain why you weren't now?" Beca asked cautiously. She was no longer sure of where the boundaries in their relationship were.
"Beca..." she didn't know where to begin. "Your rise to fame was a lot earlier than you thought."
She saw the brunette tilt her head questioningly, and continued, "A lot of people were interested in your work, your mixes. They knew that you had talent, and they knew that you would be a big time star. And so, they targeted you." The curiosity in Beca's eyes flared even stronger at this.
"There are big-time people in the music industry, Becs," Chloe explained. "They knew that your rise to fame would hinder their progress in the world, and so they wanted you to stay down. So they threatened my family."
Beca's breath hitched in her throat as she looked unbelievingly at Chloe.
"And, I would have told you," Chloe continued shakily. "I would have, but they knew I would too. They thought that removing me from your life would break you apart so badly that you'd give up music." she chuckled darkly. "Obviously it didn't work, and their plan failed. Since they had no more leverage on you, they said fuck it. They dropped all of their threats and decided to just let it go."
"Who is they?" Beca asked cautiously, still trying to wrap her mind around all of it. Chloe shook her head desperately.
"Beca, I don't know, and I don't want to know. All I know is that they work for some big record company, like Universal or something. They were producers themselves, and they knew of your talent at Residual Heat. They knew that you were in talks to transfer to a bigger label, and they wanted to stop it from happening."
Beca took a moment to think. It sounded true, she reasoned. The Chloe she knew wouldn't just up and abandon her for anything else without communicating with her first. And so her brain gave up its battle versus the heart, and she leaned forward to wrap her arms around the redhead in a long awaited hug.
"Thank you for believing in me so much that you would do that for me." she said, her voice breaking. "I really missed you."
Chloe felt a wave of shock immerse her when Beca embraced her, and she shakily raised her own arms to return it. In that moment, they both felt the piece of the other they had been missing finally reclaim their spots in each other's hearts.
"I missed you too." Chloe breathed into Beca's neck, resting her head on her shoulder.
Chloe was slowly integrated back into the group of friends. Stacie struggled to return to normal terms with the redhead, and often times Chloe would be met with an icy stare from the tall brunette. Aubrey took a couple days to look past her abandonment, wondering why she didn't confide in her, but eventually backed off and welcomed Chloe back with open arms.
Beca took a long time to fully trust Chloe again. She told her about her diagnosis of cancer, how she overworked herself for months after the redhead had left, and how she had put off her health in order to rise in the record label.
As the time passed, Beca hid her hair underneath a beanie, self consciously adjusting it seemingly every five seconds. She continued getting weaker with each chemotherapy treatment, rather than stronger. Now, though, she had Chloe by her side every step of the way.
One day, she asked Chloe to cut her hair.
"I can't look at it anymore." she said. Chloe nodded her understanding and voiced her support for her wife. They didn't discuss the how or the when, but knew it would happen in the back of their minds.
It finally happened one night, when Chloe was sitting in their bed, reading a book. Beca joined her, and the redhead looked up and smiled softly as the brunette climbed into bed.
"Hey, beautiful," her beanie was perched atop her head, and she looked at Chloe adoringly.
"Hey," Chloe replied.
Beca then took a piece of Chloe's hair and twirled it between her fingers.
"I really miss my hair." she whispered. Chloe brought an arm around Beca's shoulder and squeezed it softly.
"I know, lovely," Chloe replied. Beca looked at the piece of hair between her fingers a bit longer, before getting out of bed.
"Becs?" Chloe asked after her, but the brunette was determined. She returned with a pair of scissors.
"Will you..." Beca took a breath. "Will you do this for me?"
Chloe smiled sadly.
"Of course I will."
Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful, and came into my bed
Oh, I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me till the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me till the mornin' light
In a too-cold, white room of an L.A hospital laid a rockstar. Her eyes were heavy and she struggled to keep them open, fixated on the one person she loved most.
As she swept her eyes over the beautiful girl, she cracked a small smile. She saw the other's eyes glisten with tears, and she opened her mouth to tell her not to cry, but could not find the words.
"I'm sorry." her lover whispered.
Beca Mitchell raised her hand, wincing as she saw the IV that was attached to her arms, and shook her head. The other took her hand in hers as the tears fell steadily down her face.
"You'll be okay, I promise." Chloe said.
Beca's own tears fell down her face at this, knowing she wouldn't.
"I'll fight," she said weakly, finally finding her voice. "For you, I'll fight."
Chloe shook her head.
"If you need to let go, let go, baby." Tears rolled down her cheeks. "You're in pain. I don't want you to hurt anymore."
Beca smiled softly. "We'll get through this."
Chloe took her face in between her hands and kissed her softly.
"Okay."
Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread, and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah, we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the Bible didn't mention us, not even once
Beca Mitchell and Chloe Beale walked hand in hand down the beach, smiling wide grins at each other. Holding Chloe's other hand was a lively five-year old boy named Brandon Mitchell, who smiled with more power than his two mothers' combined, excitedly pointing out every detail of the beach. Behind them were Stacie and Aubrey who watched the couple with adoring eyes, their own daughter holding each of their hands.
Beca no longer wore a beanie on her head. She held true to her word and fought the cancer. A year after she was on her deathbed, she was announced to be in complete remission. Her hair had grown back and her wife was by her side every step of the way.
She took a moment to look at the way the sun gleamed over her wife's hair, and smiled to herself. It had been a long journey to get to this moment, but Beca knew she would do it all over again just to see the sight she saw now.
And in the end, everything was perfect.
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first