A bit late in the wishing of New Year but meh, I am always late for a lot of things. So yeah, Happy New Year peoples and hope you would still be with me for this year too.
I had just very recently fallen in love with the prospects of Soulmate AU, especially the one where the first words spoken to you by your soulmates were written on your skin in their handwriting. Reading CeliaEquus's work on it just sparked this ideas and then the angst ninja had slipped onto the train. I don't think of a happy journey whilst writing this.
Soulmark is Nature's gift to humankind, a physical form of Fate's tiding. People are born with it, the first words that would be spoken by your soulmate to you, written in the handwriting of the one destined for you. It can range from something as simple as 'Hi' to something as complicated as an over the top mathematical equations.
People who had marks that are more distinct are considered as lucky because they could know their true Soulmate with more ease than those who had a typical greeting scrawled on their skin. These marks are what that drove people to pursue certain aspects of life in hope of meeting their designated other half and it is of no surprise that many of these people found their match within the path the had chosen.
Though not all Soulmates are romantically involved. There are those who choose to settle for a platonic relationship, feeling that they are better off as friends instead of lovers despite Fate's machination on them being the perfect pair for each other. It is rare but still possible because not everyone is romantically invested.
Having more than one mark is uncommon but not rare enough for it to be an anomaly. Romantically involved triads are rare though because not all three of them could get along with other that way and this lead to people having two Soulmates to have only one of their Soulmates in either a non-platonic relationship or a platonic relationship.
But there are also those who were not born with theirs, which could either mean that your soulmate had not been born yet or that they are already dead. They are labeled as Blank, No Word, Soulless and many other degrading names because people are meant to exist with the mark of their other half branded on their body.
And Stiles is one of that people.
He had always been fascinated with the concept of Soulmates, having seen the joy it brought to his bonded parents but for some reason, he was never born with one. His parents are patient and supportive, always convincing him that his soulmates were not born yet but as the years goes by, Stiles began to doubt it.
The death of his mother had him shoving all thought of Soulmates to the back of his mind because he had seen the devastation that was caused by the loss of your other half. Every day, he watched as his father goes on with his life without his beloved mate and his father looked nothing more than a walking corpse, a lost ghost that wandered down the halls of the house that suddenly felt too big without his mother's encompassing presence to fill it.
He had seen the pain it caused, the anguish of feeling the dark words fading away to a silvery line that marked the death of its owner and that scared him. He does not want to find his soulmate only to lose them again. He would not be able to survive that blow because does not think he would have the strength to continue on living without having the warmth that he would undoubtedly be addicted once he had a taste of it.
For the first time ever, he was glad he was born Markless.
Though that does not make his life any better because despite fearing the outcome of losing his Soulmates, he still wished to have the happiness of knowing that there is someone out there who were created to match him, someone who would accept him for all of his quirkiness and abnormalities. He wanted to feel the joy of finding his soulmate like how Scott and Allison are, he wanted the intimate closeness that both Lydia and Jackson has, longed for the loving gaze that Boyd and Erica shared, crave for the sweet and gentle caress between Isaac and Derek.
But he does not have a mark to begin with.
So how would he be able to have any of it if he does not have a mark to aid him in finding his other half. Is he that abnormal that Fate decided that he is not worth it to has a Mark? To have someone who would be compatible with him? Someone who would be able to understand and accept him?
And then the Nogitsune possession happened and it made him realize that there is no way anyone would be able to accept the darkness simmering beneath his skin and they would definitely not be able to love him because of it. He is too dangerous for anyone, even to himself and he does not think he would be able to live with it if Allison and Aiden did die by his hands.
He had very nearly caused Scott, his precious brother from another mother, to feel the same devastating pain of losing his Soulmate, the other half of his soul and that guilt will forever eat away at him.
Yet so why did this happen?
Staring at the reflected image of his body, Stiles felt all blood rushed out from his body and a wave of lightheadedness washed over him.
He could not believe it.
He could not believe what he just saw.
He could not believe that after so long, Fate had finally decided to gift him with a Soulmark and the worst part is, he does not have only one, he has two.
A choked sob slipped out from his lips as he traced the words with shaking fingers, barely believing that this is real. After waiting for it for so long for it to appear, why does it appears now, when he is about to finally end all of it.
He felt hysterics because he has a Soulmate. He has someone who is compatible with him. He has someone out there who would accept him, who would love him and that someone would be able to understand the things that none of his friends and his own father could be able to understand.
And he has two of them.
The knife fell away from his lax hand and it clattered like a haunting tune on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor as he sank to his knees in front of the full body. Crumpling into himself, Stiles hugged his body with both of his hands covering the two marks on his skin, feeling it tingle lightly against the pads of his palms.
Why now?
Why does it has to appear when he finally did it?
His wrists throbbed at the thought and a hysteric laugh slipped pass his lips as he curled into a tight ball on the floor. The tears come unbidden and he ignored the feeling of nauseous as he pressed his forehead against the cold tiles. The laughter hitched when a broken sob stuck in his throat and he carved his nails into the dark words branded to his body, wishing with all of his might that whoever they are, they would be happy with each other.
Too lost with his own grief, he missed the sound of the bathroom door being forced open and also the shouted voices of the people that crowded in. He just let go of everything as he succumbed to the darkness whilst holding onto the two Soulmarks that pulsed warmly under his hands.
So what do you think so far? A little bit of a hanging ending but I plan to resume this if the muse still stuck with me. This one can also be seen as an AU for the SA universe but it can also be a stand alone too. Anyway, tell me what you think of it.