A/N: One Shot. Post Breaking Dawn. What if Bella didn't get her happily ever after? What events happened that would cause her so much grief? Bella reminisce on the past years of her vampirism. This is different from my normal writing style—it is written in 3rd person but mostly through Bella's perspective. Please R&R and tell me what you think.
Season of Suffering
Bella Cullen stared out into the white blanket of snow concealing the ground. She watched as each white pedal danced through the sky, reminding her of her beautiful daughter. Like the snow, Renesmee was peaceful, captivating, inspiring, but also temporary. Bella's heart ached to see the radiant smile on Renesmee's face, and her soul yearned to have Renesmee by her side. The pain stung deeper than the violent fires of her transformation, and she fell to her knees sobbing tearless cries. Edward's comforting arms quickly embraced her. Bella stretched out her mental shield, allowing him into her conflicted mind.
Fate was cruel, playing malicious games with Bella's life. She had received abundant fortunes, making her feel like the luckiest person alive. She was given a miracle, her angelic daughter; but to have her loving daughter striped from her life was as excruciating as when Edward left her. She winced in pain as the memories of disaster filled her mind.
"Alice, are you okay?" Jasper asked anxiously and ran toward Alice, collapsed on the floor. Shock filled Alice's eyes as she called the family for a meeting.
"What happened?" Edward demanded, while simultaneously filtering through Alice's mind. Edward gasped as terror and despair burned his heart. Bella looked at him with concern, and Edward timidly whispered, "Volturi."
Edward cringed as he contemplated Bella's thoughts. His arm instantly tightened around her, and he rubbed soothing circles onto her back. But, the memories of turmoil buzzed through Bella's mind, reminding her of the wretched events that turned her perfect life into an eternity of suffering and agony.
"Why?" Bella pleaded, terror filled her now topaz eyes.
Alice smiled reassuringly, "I don't think they want to harm us, not like last time. They just want to check that Renesmee is not aging anymore. They want to make sure there is no threat."
"When?" Edward inquired.
Alice shut her eyes, searching for the answer. Her voice softened as she replied, "tomorrow."
*******
As the bright summer sun peeked through the peaceful clouds, the Cullens gathered in the clearing, waiting for the Volturi's arrival. The serenity of the weather echoed the feeling in each of the Cullen's heart. Alice's vision was clear; Aros, Marcus, Caius, Alec and Jane were simply coming to confirm that Renesmee's rapid growth had ended. Everyone was betting on Alice, and there was not one ounce of doubt about her foresight.
Edward protectively wrapped one arm around Bella, whose hand firmly gripped Renesmee's. The plan was simple. When the Volturi arrived, Renesmee would journey into the middle of the clearing, waiting for Aro to join. She was to offer her hand to him, allowing him to see that her "growth spurt" had ended. Thus, the Volturi's mission would have been completed, and they would peacefully return to Italy.
As the memories flooded Bella's clouded mind, her cries became more audible. The incident was supposed to be peaceful; the Volturi were not to have harmed. Even now, Bella found it incomprehensible that one change could so drastically alter her entire future.
"It's time," Alice declared, staring at the northern end of the clearing. Bella turned her gaze toward where Alice was looking. She watched as the monsters approached, and she readied her shield, just in case. Five graceful shadows emerged into the clearing, a small but forceful group.
"Dear Carlisle, it is nice to see you again," Aro greeted, with Caius, Marcus, Alec and Jane by his side. This time, thankfully, the entire guard did not show up.
"Welcome back," Carlisle politely acknowledge, "But by what means do we owe this visit?"
"We are simple here to check that the mysterious child holds no threat," Aro pointed at Nessie who instinctive shuttered at the accusation.
Bella smiled at Nessie encouragingly, "It will be okay; don't worry." She held Nessie's hand. They paced toward the center of the clearing, while Aro too stepped forward. Just like the last incident, both sides were compromising and meeting in the middle. Bella prayed that this was a sign; a sign that like the last encounter with the Volturi, this one would also end without violence.
As Bella and Nessie neared Aro, Edward scanned the thoughts of the enemies, looking for any threats. Aro offered his hand toward Nessie, who reluctantly shook it. Instantly, memories of the past ten years roamed though Aro's mind. After what seemed like an eternity, he looked back toward his more than eager to fight family. As if déjà vu, he stated, "Dear ones, we do not fight today."
Relief flooded the Cullens, as they registered Aro's words. Again, they successfully avoided an attack with the Volturi. Feeling once again safe, Bella let her shield down. But, just as the Volturi started to depart, a small drop of rain drizzled onto Marcus. And for the first time, Marcus looked up and saw Renesmee.
Her golden eyes, her soft golden ringlets, her gentle face, all of it were familiar to him. He stared in awe. Marcus knew it couldn't be possible; Didyme was dead, but here just a few yards away stood the same alluring face that Marcus fell in love with the first time. In a trance, he glided toward Renesmee. His mind told him that this was just an innocent girl, but his eyes deceived him. For the first time since Didyme passed, Marcus felt alive, and he was not willing to lose the feeling.
Bella concealed her face into the safeties of Edward's arms. Anguish consumed her. As the memories intruded Bella's mind, she felt helpless. The trespass vulnerability relapsed, as images of the malice Volturi seizing Renesmee played in Bella's head.
Eight frozen statues stood in the clearing. The rain suddenly pounded down, echoing the tears in their heart. Still no one moved; each frozen in surprise, in disbelief, but most of all in grief.
"W-wh-a-t j-just h-happened?" Bella stuttered, staring at the empty field where the Volturi last stood.
Painfully, Edward answered, "I don't know."
Bella's breathing started to unsteady, her golden eyes covered in a fog of confusion. Her mind enclosed and retreated toward the safety of unconsciousness. Even as a vampire, Bella fainted.
********
"We need to save her," a husky, deep voice urged, "and if you don't do a damn thing then the pack will take over.
"Let's think about this rationally," a sophisticated voice cautioned, "The Volturi are not to be underestimated. Last time, luck was on our side; this time we might not be that fortunate.
"We can't just sit here and do nothing."
The distant voices argued back and forth. Bella laid still, perplexed. Slowly she opened her eyes and gazed above in wonder. A set of topaz eyes looked at her filled with concern.
"Are you okay?" Edward asked.
Bella scanned her surrounds, trying to grasp what was happening. She realized she was lying on the couch in the Cullen's house. She looked around the room and discovered Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Edward and Jacob gathered around, each with an expression of anxiety on their face. After a brief moment, she realized she had zoned out. But as some questions were answered more questions appeared: What happened? Why is everyone so afraid? Why is Jacob here? But most importantly, where is Renesmee?
Bella's eyes became frantic. "What happened?" she demanded. Edward looked toward Carlisle and nodded, answering an unspoken question.
Bella's anxiety was quickly replaced with a feeling of anger. She refused to be put in the dark again. "Edward, I'll be damned if you don't tell me what happened. For heaven's sake, I'm a vampire right now. I can handle it. What the hell happened?"
Edward sighed in defeat then explained what he knew. He explained how Marcus had fallen in love with Renesmee and kidnapped her. He described how the Volturi managed to manipulated the laws, to justify Marcus' action. Lastly, he informed Bella that Alice had an unpleasant vision; a vision in which if the Cullens attempted to take Renesmee home, a war would erupt: a battle of life or death.
Sadness throbbed through Bella's body, as she uncontrollable shook with grief. Edward rocked him in his protective arms, trying to calm his angel. But Bella couldn't forget. The memories buzzed through her mind, like flies near a picnic. Time did not heal all broken wounds. Instead, it ripped them apart, leaving vast holes in Bella's heart. Holes not even Edward could mend.
"We need to save her," Bella asserted; her voice becoming slightly hysteric. A wave of calm wrapped around Bella, as Jasper noticed her panic.
"Bella, your emotions are clouding your judgment. It's like I told Jacob, we need to think about this rationally. We need time to make a plan." Carlisle placed a friendly hand on Bella's shoulder, but this time it felt cold and distant.
Disbelief enveloped Bella's thoughts, "Time? Renesmee might not have time. And Alice's visions are subjective. We can still win; we just need to try."
A look of sorrow and guilt appeared in Carlisle eyes. He looked at Bella shamefully and stated, "I'm sorry, but we need to wait." Bella wanted to be mad, but instead she felt empathy. As loved as Renesmee was, the rest of the Cullen's were equally as important. Carlisle would not willing risk the safety of his family.
Bella looked once again at her family and decided she could not put them in harms way. The conviction of her realization was strong. Selflessly she declared, "I will save her. I understand that the risk is great and that you do not wish to take this risk, but Renesmee is my daughter. I will go, alone."
Alice stared at Bella, her eyes widened in terror. Her gentle voice murmured, "Bella, they could kill you"
"It doesn't matter," Bella declared. And it truly didn't. Bella's bond with her daughter was unbreakable. She could not lose her. Bella looked at the expressions of her loved ones, sadness evident in everyone. Even Emmett was near tears, realizing he may lose his little sister. Finally, Bella's gaze met a dazzling set of topaz eyes. Her voice softened as she spoken, "Edward, I love you. Never forget that. But this is something I need to do. But I will try my hardest to come back…with Renesmee."
Edward stared at his wife, his soul mate, his heart. Pain consumed him simply at the thought of being away from her. "I'm coming with you."
"Edward, you can't. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. Even if I'm gone, the world still needs you."
Edward took Bella's hands into his own. He stared into the depths of her eyes and declared, "Bella, I love you. You are my life, my purpose for living. Neither life nor death, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, neither height nor depth, nor any powers will separated us. You are the light of my existence; without you I am blind. I am coming with you."
Bella felt both happiness and sorrow. She realized that she and Edward's lives were like merged into one. But lose one, lose both. No matter what, they were in this together.
********
The gates of hell opened, and Bella hesitantly stepped through the threshold separating light from dark. Edward squeezed her hand, and brushed his lips onto hers. Sadness filled Edward's eyes, as he realized this could be the end. They walked into the ornate hallway, savoring the last moments they might have together. A familiar, but foreign, face greeted Bella and Edward as they entered the stone chamber. Gianna's quiet voice was replaced by a more chime-like tone; her skin now exhibiting a pale complexion.
"What can I do for you?" She asked, her voice almost smug.
"Where is my daughter?" Edward growled. His eyes were red with anger. Gianna's laughter filled the quiet chamber, and Edward stiffened as he studied her mind.
"We need to go, now!" Edward demanded, and he pulled Bella through the doors, entering the Volturi's meeting room. There stood Aro, Marcus, Caius and the entire guard. Shock and horror filled Bella's mind as she acknowledged her sight, but it was not from the threat of the Volturi. Before her, her beloved Renesmee was covered in blood, the thirst of a newborn coursed through her eyes.
"Renesmee," Bella shouted, hysteria evident in her voice. Renesmee's eyes shot up from the motionless prey, and her eyes met her mothers. Instantly, she snapped out of her trance. As realization hit her, Renesmee fell to the ground in tears. Bella, instinctively, ran toward Renesmee, who then placed her hand on Bella's cheeks. Suddenly, her daughter's thoughts raced through Bella's mind: Renesmee's growing thirst as the Volturi wouldn't feed her, their malice plan that led her toward a dark alley in Volterra, the potent smell of a human's scent, the bloodlust that possessed her, the innocence's fearful face as he screamed in terror, the smug looks of the guard when they carried the corpse back to their dwelling, and finally the guilt that enveloped Renesmee now that she knew what she had done.
Edward snarled as he read Renesmee's thoughts. He protectively pushed Renesmee behind him and turned his stance toward the Volturi. Bella, too, crouched, ready to attack.
Aro matter-of-factly stated, "Although a fight would be the most entertaining, today we will let you go peacefully." Bella stood, dumbfounded. The anticlimactic resolution was too ideal to believe. However, both she and Edward did not wish to second guess the Volturi. Swiftly, they pulled Renesmee along and headed toward the exit. Unexpectedly, the entire guard shifted toward the doorway, obstructing their exodus.
Aro laughed, sending chills down Bella's spine. A smug and arrogant smile played on his lips. "I said that you and Edward could go," he declared, watching Bella's expression change from relief to realization, "however, the lovely Renesmee is bond her by law. You may accompany her here if you wish."
"What are you talking about?" Edward snarled, searching through their minds trying to find the answer.
A high, lilting laugh echoed in the room, and Bella turned to find Jane's eyes locked on Renesmee's. "Nessie here was such a good friend," Jane stated, "and the images of hunger were quite intriguing." She smiled deviously, and Bella instantly stretched her shield toward Renesmee and Edward. Jane's smug expression quickly turned into a grimace, but she continued her explanation, "Well, Nessie does not seem to be as aware of the laws of we have, seeing how a werewolf is her boyfriend." A disgusted look played on Jane's face. "Anyways, Renesmee was foolish and disobedient; she hunted on Volterra grounds. Everyone knows that safety and discreteness is vitally important to us. And since Renesmee disobeyed the rules….she must spend her eternity serving on the guard."
"No!" Edward shouted, "This can't be possible. You arrogant sons of bitches are once again manipulating the laws for your own twisted gain. Get the hell out of my way, so my family can leave."
An amused expression played on Aro's face. He turned toward Edward again and chuckled, "I seemed to have underestimated your anger. And to think Carlisle would have taught you to show more respect toward your elders." A growl emerged in both Edward and Bella's throats, but Aro seemed unfazed. "However, you are indeed mistaken this time. Through our thoughts, you can see that our intentions are not misguided. Although having Renesmee does seem to brighten Marcus' day that is not why she must stay. Our job is to enforce the rules, and Renesmee is a transgressor, who simply must be punished. We are protective of our beloved city, and as you did not wish for others to hunt in the city of Forks, we command that no one hunts on our ground. Therefore Renesmee is bond her by law and by the blood she drank."
Edward's face fell as he realized his defeat. He looked at Bella with sorrow. Bella stared into Edward's topaz eyes and realized, although there had been no causalities, they had still lost. A weak sob emerge in her throat, and she struggled to swallow it back down. She looked into her daughter's warm chocolate eyes filled with fright and terror. In those eyes, Bella found courage and hope. This would not be the end.
Confidently, Bella stared into Aro's eyes and declared, "You don't scare me." Hatred and rage blazed in her eyes. She crouched forward, ready to attack.
Jane quickly stepped forward, shielding Aro from Bella's wrath. "Look at the little kitten trying to act like a lion. Killing you will be far too easy." With much force she thrust Bella into the stone walls. Edward snarled and plunged at Jane, only to be stopped by Felix. Felix's strength played as his advantage, but Edward's speed left them equally matched. Bella, after finally regaining her footing, attacked Jane. The guard readied to aid in the fight, but Aro quickly dismissed their help. A light glistened in his eyes, watching the amusing fight. He truly believed Jane and Felix could win by themselves. However, the battle reached a stalemate, an impasse.
A stake pierced through Renesmee's heart each time a forceful fist wounded her parents. Tears poured down her cheeks as she stood, helpless, on the sidelines. Upsetting thoughts played through her mind: her loving parents were hurting because of her, and there was nothing she could do.
Renesmee placed both hands around her cheek, trying to keep from falling apart. She closed her eyes wishing that there was something, anything, she could do to help. As her sobs rocked her back and forth, she felt a force shifting from her presence. Abruptly she opened her eyes, discovering a light in the grim darkness; although it was not noticeable, her parents were starting to win the battle.
Bella stared at Jane, feeling anger and rage. She wanted to win this battle; she had to win this battle. Suddenly, she felt strength. She did not know where it came from, but it came. Bella drew from her new powers and she felt hope. She could win.
Renesmee was acting on instinct, unaware of her actions. But she knew that somehow she was able to transfer more than just her thoughts; she could pass on her strength and power. Elated by her epiphany, she was blinded to see the truth. But reality hit her harder than 100 mile winds. With every advantage Bella and Edward gained, Renesmee was wounded. With every push her parents received, Renesmee staggered to even breathe. She was not sharing her strength, she was giving it away. But the most fearful thought was that she and her parents would not be able to have their perfect eternity; it was either them or she. Hesitating for only a split second, Renesmee knew what she had to do, what she wanted to do. She would save the people that mattered the most to her; all that would be lost was herself.
As Renesmee felt her strength weakening, she could not help but smile. Her parents could win this battle. They would win this battle. Her life was a small tree in the forest of the world. It would not be the end of the world; only the end of Renesmee. Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of people, people she loved. She stared one last time at her perfect parent, wanting it to be the last image she saw.
Aro, entertained by the fight, did not notice Renesmee collapse; but Marcus did. He saw as the beautiful girl fell to her knees. But it wasn't just that, he could swear he saw her presence fading too. Marcus had seen all intensities of relationships, but he had never seen anything like this. Renesmee's bond with her parents seemed so strong, that her essence twisted together with her parents. But as Marcus examined the strange love, he noticed something displeasing. Renesmee's essence was not merging with her parents', it was shifting toward her parents. As Bella and Edward grew stronger, Renesmee's life started to fade away. At this point, about three things Marcus was absolutely positive. First, Renesmee was a giver: a giver of memories and a giver of strength. Second, as every second passed, part of her was fading, until there is nothing left. And third, Marcus was in love with her; as in love with her as he was Didyme. He could not stand to lose her too. Acting impulsively, he stood up and for the first time in centuries, he spoke.
"Stop," Marcus whispered, "Stop." The sound of the coarse voice shocked Aro. Although others may not have heard it, the low murmur echoed loader than a million drums. Aro scurried toward Marcus, not caring about anything else. He reached for Marcus' extended hand, letting his memories pass through his mind. Suddenly Aro understood. The fight was literally tearing Renesmee apart. It had to end, or Marcus would.
Now Aro was faced with a dilemma: he could either please the Volturi, or he could save his friend. Without even faltering, he walked into the battlefield. He stared authoritatively at Jane and Felix, commanding them to stop.
Then, Aro turned toward Bella, wanting to end this fight. "Let's compromise," he suggested.
Puzzlement beamed through Bella's eyes. The Volturi were giving up? She stared at Aro and questioned, "What do you mean?"
"There is no need to fight. We can share the magnificent Renesmee. From the day in which darkness far surpasses light to the time when light reaches twelve hours, Renesmee will stay as a member of our respectable coven. Is that fair?"
Invisible tears swelled in her topaz eyes. Realization hit her stronger than all the vampires in the world. Renesmee was too valuable to lose and to precious to share. But, this was a battle she and Edward could not win. Bella looked toward Edward, who kissed the bridge of her nose and whispered, "It's the safest bet."
Bella was in a hopeless trial, where the best option was pleading out. Reluctantly she turned toward Aro and nodded.
A grin curved on Aro face as he achieved his victory, but he still felt the tugs of the different sides of the Volturi. Although Jane believed Aro granted the Cullen's more than they deserved, Aro had more important aspects to consider. He saw with his own eyes that Marcus irrevocably loved Renesmee. Marcus would never admit it but he was bond to the unusual Renesmee. She was now the center of his universe, the light in his darkness. And even though there was a chance they could have gained more, Aro could not--would not--risk Marcus' happiness.
Edward stared at Aro, bewildered. Suddenly he realized just how close he was to losing Renesmee. He discovered the magnitude of her daughter's power, and her irrational selflessness. Aro's thoughts made him question his hateful outlook on the powerful coven. There was more depth and love in the Volturi than he realized. At this thought, he felt relieved: relieved that he was not placing his treasure in the hands of monsters, relieved that Renesmee would not be harmed, relieved that the most might and supreme force was not pure evil, but mostly relieved that there was hope.
He looked back at the Volturi with a new kind of understanding. He then turned toward Renesmee, sunset filled his topaz eyes. He stroked Renesmee's hair, letting the golden ringlets falls behind her shoulders. Grief overcame him, breaking his composed façade. He looked at his pure, benign daughter and whispered, "Be safe."
Bella pulled Renesmee toward her, savoring her last moments. "I loved you," she murmured, then touched the golden locket wrapped around Renesmee's neck. "Plus que ma propre vie; More than my own life."
Renesmee turned toward her loving parents, trying to choke back the tears. She smiled emptily then stammered, "I am a Cullen; I can handle it. I love you. Please don't worry, please don't suffer." She leaned closer, basking in the kindness radiating off her parents. She reluctantly pulled away and watched as the two most important people walked away. But it would be okay, it had to.
Edward and Bella walked hand in hand out of the chambers of hell. They stared into the moonless sky, waiting for winter to end.
Time has different perspectives. Two months for an immortal should have been nothing. Bella should have been able to live. But the two months were unbearable. Time seemed to stop, extending the season for suffering. The months were filled with never ending turmoil.
Bella's voice trembled, as she searched for comfort, "W-we were s-supposed to h-have an e-eter-n-nity t-together."
"Bella, love, it will be okay," Edward's velvety voice reassured, but there was a hint of doubt in her husband's familiar voice. Bella could not find comfort in the person she trusted the most, and that scared her the most. A low howl emerged in the night, and Bella knew she was not suffering alone.
A/N: This story was inspired by the Greek myth about Persephone and Hades. So what do you think? In case anyone is confused, flashbacks are in italics. Everything happens post Breaking Dawn, including flashbacks. Also, the story is mostly written in Bella's perspective but some parts were written in Edward's, Renesmee's, Aro's, and Marcus'. The shift in perspectives was not as obvious as it could have been, but I felt it worked better this way. I really wanted to write this story, but it was a lot different from how I normally write, so tell me how I did. Please give me your feedback because reviews are my brand of heroin.