Disclaimer: As these lines provide no actual legal protection (nor is any needed) and I am confident that my readers can distinguish my writing from J.K. Rowling's, I hereby dissolve all claim to this disclaimer.
Defense
In addition to the standard coursework necessary to the instruction of the modern witch or wizard, students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had a small selection of specialty lessons to choose from every year. Flying lessons for first years, specialized herbology and care of magical creatures classes dealing with rare and unusual species, dueling etiquette lectures, and advanced charms for homemaking and workplace safety were popular offerings.
This year, however, a new offering had struck a chord with students of every House and year. A simple scroll of parchment announced that "Weekly Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts meetings will be held at six pm beginning the seventeenth of October in the second floor lecture hall. First year classes will be held on Thurdays, seventh year classes on Fridays, third year classes on Saturdays, sixth year classes on Sundays, second year classes on Mondays, fourth year classes on Tuesdays, and fifth year classes on Wednesdays. Students are asked to register before the tenth of October." There followed a list of names far longer than were to be found on the other lists posted in the hall. The notice's simplicity and ambiguity teased the imagination of the student body, whose normal impression of their Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher was less than awed. This anticipation led to a packed room buzzing with gossiping first years on the evening of the seventeenth. Early as it was in the year, there was little communication between the houses at this point, and they stood huddled in groups around the room, rarely even glancing at the others. Nearest the door, a cluster of Gryffindors wondered aloud about the content of the class.
"I don't know what you're so worked up about. It'll probably just be more of the same old-- Oh no, what's he doing here?" whispered Ron Weasley, now looking past his fellow first year Gryffindors toward the door, where Severus Snape stood scanning the crowd with a grimace of disapproval. "Where's Quirrel?" As the eyes of his students turned toward the ringing silence near the door, the Master of Potions crossed deliberately into the room.
"Welcome, young ladies and gentlemen, to this, the first meeting of our Advanced Defense club. Now, then. Who can explain to me the derivation of the term 'dark art?'" Students glanced around the room, alternately apprehensive and thoughtful. "This is a simple question. Do not tax yourselves unduly. I honestly believe that no one in this room is foolish enough to answer wrongly. Mr. Potter, if you would demonstrate?" There were chuckles, immediately silenced by the professor's glare.
Harry sank slightly into his seat. "I, um, I don't know, sir. It wasn't in the reading."
"You astonish me. The dark arts, Mr. Potter, are so called due to an ever present and entirely transparent bias in our social perceptions. The term is essentially meaningless because it seeks to untie three entirely unrelated concepts under a single banner; these concepts are evil, darkness, and obfuscation. It should be apparent to all of you, I hope," he looked meaningfully at the blushing Harry, and rolled his eyes as he turned away, "that there is no genuine relationship between the first and the others; there is no greater propensity for evil in unlit or darkly hued people or objects. Why, then, should we use this word? Miss Granger?"
Her eyes rather wider than was strictly called for, she meekly ventured, "well, since that's what they've been called for a long time..." Seeing that the grimly smirking professor did not speak up, she forced herself to nervously continue. "...it makes more sense to keep using the original term, since everyone already knows it's misleading, than to change it and cause confusion."
"Again, I am blown away by the intellectual stature demonstrated by this year's incoming class of Gryffindors." At this, Hermione's face reddened. "Miss Granger has provided us with an outstanding rendition of the apologist trite that is used to excuse and dismiss the problems we face in our world and ourselves rather than take responsibility for them. No, Miss Granger, I am afraid that we do not live in an ideal society of minds as brilliant as yours and Potter's; there are many who are not aware that this term is misleading, and who would, for example, associate a spider, with its sleek black form and tendency to hide in the shadows of a room, with evil. And that is, in fact, the reason that the association stands. It began as a dangerous subconscious bias; it became a campaign to enslave and manipulate minds; and this campaign continues successfully even today. Apart from the obvious bigoted connotations, the linking of these two concepts also allows the watchful authorities to convince their subjects that darkness and obfuscation are to be feared, or even loathed. That way, these subjects may be better observed and understood. Privacy and secrets are the enemies of any controlling power, but they are in fact the best friends of those who would combat the so-called Dark Arts." He was gratified to note that the brighter students in the class seemed either shocked or enlightened by this explanation. Perhaps not all of them would be led through their lives like sheep. "If you wish to avoid becoming a target," he continued, "you will take this advice to heart. There is nothing more dangerous than standing in the light." He looked from face to face as if to drive home the point that it was better to see than to be seen. "Do I make myself clear?"
He was answered by general muttering on the theme of "Yes, sir."
"Then you all understand that the aim of this class is to teach you how to defend yourself against evil magic and magical beings?" The class chorused in the affirmative. "And you all understand what this means?" Again, he received the same reply. "Excellent. Then who will tell me the meaning of the term evil?' Again, he was met with equal measures of silent embarrassment and silent pensiveness. "No one? You mean to tell me that every one of you came here today to learn to combat powerful forces, and you can't even explain what they are in the most rudimentary terms? No, Granger, you've had your chance. Longbottom." The boy couldn't have looked more terrified if Snape had just murdered his grandparents. "Don't gawp, boy. Answer me."
Neville swallowed deeply, and when he tried to speak, his voice cracked at a high pitch on the first syllable. His cheeks burned. Again, Snape repressed the resultant giggles with a glance about the room, and waited for the boy to continue. "Evil is... is behavior that intentionally hurts others without helping anyone but yourself, sir."
"Not a bad first attempt, boy, though rather elementary." Neville was visibly astonished at this near praise. "Your housemates," Snape went on, glancing at Harry, "would do well to learn from your example. Yes, evil is necessarily destructive. It may, in fact, provide some benefit to others, but that benefit is outweighed by the damage. This is enough for a basic summary, as a deep understanding of the meaning of this essential term requires far more time then we have today. Evil magic, then, is that which is inherently destructive and directed with malice or the intent to cause harm. Can we all agree with that statement?" The standard muttered reply caused him to sigh audibly. "And I believe we would agree regardless of what I said, wouldn't we? If this mindless obeisance is the attitude you will bring to this class, I suggest you withdraw immediately. Those of you who intend to remain next week will provide me with no less than eleven inches-- Corner, stop your sniggering. Two points from Ravenclaw-- on the definition of 'dark arts.' There will be no use of textual citations, as in this instance I wish you to exercise your own minds. If only to prove that they exist. Is that understood?" The muttering was somewhat more forceful this time. Philosophy and politics were perhaps a bit vague and challenging to the young students, but homework they could understand.
"Very well. As it would be pointless to progress further without clarifying this concept, class is dismissed early this evening. Next time, come prepared or not at all." Without another word, Snape walked briskly out of the classroom and into the hall, leaving his students suitably awestruck that no one spoke until he was well away.
Any reviews or PMs would be appreciated. This is my first fanfic in seven years; I'm hoping to get some proper practice in.