Rated R for language, violence, adult situations and sexual situations
The third and last of the series. Tobias is born, Elfangor leaves to pursue his destiny.
~Chapter 31~
There he stood, looking a lot like Yoda from Star Wars in his little black cloak. He had leathery wings, biological wheels, a funny thing to see, and sharp, pointed teeth that made his voice sound distorted somehow. I had seen him before, and I knew him all too well.
"Jarex? Or is it Larex?"
"Larex, thank you."
"But you- you- "
"..Are Visser Three's pet? No, not really, although I've led him to believe so."
I wonderingly pulled out a chair and offered it to him. Then, seeing how it would be kind of hard to climb on a chair with biological wheels and little leather wings, I picked him up and set him on it.
"Well," I gave a helpless gesture, "Can you please..uumm.. explain?"
"Yes. That is what I came here for. Oh, and thank you for finding about Jeren for us. A Dejrik. I should've guessed."
"You were there? Why didn't you help?"
"I couldn't risk people seeing me. And I saw your friend Elfangor coming."
"I thought..I thought you were the Visser's pet. But you're talking to me. You're obviously a sentient being."
He gave me a smile. At least, I think it was a smile. With all those wicked teeth in the way, who could tell?
"Surprise." He said still smiling his toothy grin. He continued, taking off the cloak.
"That's what I am, anyway. Surprise. I guess we've lost good."
"What..Okay, what is this whole club thing going on? Please, tell me."
"Oh, the "Card Club" is just a name we took to establish on earth. The union of these certain Evil, Good, Surprise, and Unchangeable have been going on for a millenium or so. Those are not actually true positions you know, I am just simplifying it for you humans as much as possible - No one even remembers how it started. It's been passed on for generations and generations.." he paused, "I let Visser Three think I was his pet. I was told to do that, part of my...should I say, assignment. It is part of the master plan to keep the universe in balance. You wouldn't understand. It was amusing, anyway. For a time. By the way, sorry I tried to kill you and your friend."
"No problem," I said dryly. "So..who's Evil? And unchangeable?"
"Evil? Oh, you should've gotten that one. Evil is the Visser. The Yeerk Empire he represents."
"And Unchangeable."
"I can not tell you that."
"Excuse me, you little imp?" I cried, standing up, suddenly outraged. "I have endured these stupid letters and secrecy and now you won't tell me who unchangeable is?"
"No, I cannot."
I heard the click of latch and key, and instinctively turned. Realizing it was probably Elfangor, I looked back at Larex, and he was...gone! The window was open. A black cloak lay rumpled on the floor. Damn! I was so close!
Elfangor came in, looked at the black robe and immediately noticed my expression.
"Loren? What's wrong."
And I told him everything, and apologized for not telling him before. I was so frustrated! I wished this would all just end...
I had an uneventful week at college. I dragged around like I had had no sleep. Probably because I hadn't. I had awful dreams that left me feeling sick in the morning, and ones that woke me up and wouldn't let me get back to sleep. Elfangor was restless, too. Often, he would get up in the middle of the night and pace the floor, back and forth. And when he didn't think I could hear him, sometimes I heard him cry. My life was a mess. A mess. My grades were already heading for crash and burn. I cursed the Yeerks every day of my life. I gave Controllers such dirty looks in the hallways I'm surprised they didn't run right down and infest me right away. Most of all, I needed a change. The constant fear, the feeling that you're like a joke everyone but you gets. Even Visser Three's pet was playing me like a pawn. Elfangor was moody, withdrawn. Yes, I needed a change. That change came with Yosemite.
~Chapter 32~
I packed my bags, I brushed my teeth, and I headed to the car. I got in with a smile, something that my face had not shown in the past couple of weeks. Elfangor climbed in beside me, and we drove. I was in the best mood I had been since the whole equation of Yeerks plus Jaren plus Larex showed up.
I sang along with the radio on full volume. Elfangor looked at me like I was crazy. About halfway there Elfangor started to seriously bug me by trying to calculate the altitude difference when we rose and fell every couple feet. Luckily I had Twinkies, so they shut him up for at least five minutes a packet.
"Mmmmm.Twinkies," Elfangor praised, his mouth half full. It ended up sounded more like, "Mmmm, Tmmmphies." He paused and looked at the label again.
"Loren, If I am correct, this is what you called the Skrit Na captain."
"I did? Gosh, that seems like so long ago..."
He carefully considered the Twinkie.
"Loren...not to offend, but the Skrit Na do not in any way resemble this "Twinkie."
"I know! It was just a name..you know the first thing that came to mind..I...Oh, forget it."
There was silence in the car for about another five minutes. Then Elfangor piped up.
"Loren, where are we going?"
"Yosemite. You knew that, right Elfangor?" I asked, taking my eyes off the road to give a quick glance at him.
"Yes. But we are not headed towards that place."
"What??"
I pulled over to the side of the road. I reached over Elfangor and opened the glove compartment, picking up the map. I unfolded it and swore.
"What did you say?"
"Never mind that Elfangor. We're lost. Totally completely."
"How are we lost? We are right here."
"Ha ha. You picked a really lousy time to learn how to joke, Elfangor."
"Perhaps we should find where we are."
I rolled my eyes and couldn't help smiling.
"Yes, Perhaps we should find where we're going, and perhaps there is a very bad driver named Loren who has no freaking idea where we are."
"Ah. I see," He said, obviously seeing nothing at all.
I held the map out at arms length, trying to make remote sense of it. It all seemed backwards, like-
"Perhaps you should turn it around."
"What?"
"Loren, you are holding the map upside down."
"Oh."
I turned it around and tried to make remote sense of it.
"Oh, for- this road isn't even on here!" I cried in exasperation.
"Now that you mention it, I have seen no road signs," Elfangor noted. I crumpled the map, not bothering to hassle with folding it and stuffed it back in the glove department. I started the car.
"Loren, where are we going?"
"Umm..Forward."
"Ah. Am I right to believe we are still lost."
"Right as rain."
"Right a-"
"Oh, don't ask."
I pressed the gas pedal and we sped down the road for another half a mile or so, in silence. I was just getting really into "I wanna hold your hand," when suddenly...
"STOP!! STOP!" Elfangor yelled.
Out of instinct, I hit the brake hard. Tires squealed on asphalt, and the car gave a wild skid, swinging both Elfangor and me to one side of the car. Then, CRASH! The impact was deafening. I felt the metal of the car twist and press around me. I was jarred violently into the side door. Then, silence.
I opened my eyes and took a breath.
"L-Loren? Are you all right?"
Elfangor took off his seatbelt and crawled closer to me. I pushed myself away from the door.
"Yes. My-ouch! I hurt my wrist, though." I wouldn't be surprised if it started swelling. Not to mention a couple bruised ribs.
"Are you all right, Elfangor?"
"I-Yes. I think I am unharmed." He had a bloody lip, but no other substantial injury.
We both climbed out of the car. Nothing. There was clear road ahead.
"What? I-- what did we run into, Elfangor?" I asked, totally baffled.
"It is- that is, I believe is a hologram with a force field."
I stuck my hand straight out in front of me. There was a hard, smooth surface where thin air seemed to be.
"Yeerks?"
"Yes, Yeerks."
~Chapter 33~
"The force field should be weaker the higher up it is," Elfangor stated, sounding a lot like a text book. We were standing around, contemplating the invisible wall in the middle of nowhere. I could see what he must've seen now- it shimmered, just a little, enough to make you dizzy.
"What, do they teach you that in school?"
"Yes."
Go figure.
"Maybe if I get high enough I could get through."
"It would be worth a try, at least."
I looked around, looking for something I could climb on. My eyes rested on the "slightly" dented car.
"Help me up, Elfangor," I called. He came over and gave me a boost. I stood on tiptoe on the car, and felt the force field. Still solid. No, wait. Using all my strength, I pushed with both hands. Suddenly, POP. My head, shoulders and hands were through! I could vaguely hear Elfangor's voice from outside saying, "Hah! This weak this far down. An Andalite child could make a holo-force better than this."
But what truly interested me was what I saw inside.
"Elfangor!" I hissed.
"It- It looks like a crashed Bug fighter. There are only one or two Hork-Bajir and about a dozen Taxxons here. I thin-"
I stopped abruptly. As a Taxxon turned and-- saw me!!! Oh, god, I wasn't very good at hiding, was I.
SSSRRRWWEEEAAARRRRRWWWEEEE
I tried to get my head and hands out of the forcefield, but It was like swimming in glue. Two of the Hork-Bajir turned and saw me. They were headed towards me! No, wait. They were headed towards the ship! Oh, no! They were headed towards-
POP!
As soon as I had come, I got out. I turned to Elfangor.
"Get in the car! Now!"
He didn't argue. I got in and started to turn the key in the ignition
"Ow! Ouch!" I hadn't realized my wrist was hurt that badly.
"Elfangor, I can't drive! My wrist is too badly hurt! You'll have to!"
We traded places as quickly as possible. He turned the key. And stepped on the gas.
VVVVVRROOOOM!!!
We were off! Elfangor turned so sharply that I flew into his lap.
"Loren, you are distracting me."
"I'm sorry!!!!" I yelled at him. "It's not exactly my - AAH! TURN TURN!"
Screeeeeee!!!!!
We narrowly missed colliding with an Oak.
"Elfangor you lunatic! You drive on the road!!! The road!" I screamed to him as I held on to him for dear life. I could see the Bug fighter behind us. I was wobbly and sputtering, but it was working! And it was accelerating!
"It's gaining on us!!!"
"Yes, Loren. I realize this," Elfangor replied in his incredibly calm and annoying Andalite way. Suddenly..
SPUT! SPUT SPUT!
"We're out of gas! I knew I should've pulled over at that last Exxon!"
In that odd moment it struck me for a moment that "Exxon" resembled "Taxxon" but I realized this wasn't really the time to be making jokes. You know, with our lives in jeopardy and all.
The car slowly glided to a halt, easy prey now for the bug fighter. There was only one chance...I climbed quickly out of the car, and scrambled to the roof. Waving both arms, I yelled, "STOP! IN THE NAME OF VISSER THREE, STOP!"
The Bug fighter slowed....landed! Elfangor and I stood ready, sheltered by the burnt remains of my poor battered car. Two taxxons scuttled out, carrying Dracon beams. Good, I thought. It would make them feel safer. Maybe even cocky. I spread my arms palms out in a gesture of peace.
"Do not harm us, Taxxons. We are here to trade."
"Sssseewwwwho aresse sssyou, andsss sswhat ssdo youss havessto trade?" The lead taxxon asked, openly suspicious. I guess he hadn't heard about us yet, that was good. I backed up towards the car, and felt for the glove department, my hands behind my back. Where was?..ah, there it was. I waited until they were close. Close enough I could smell their foul, stinking breath and watch their wobbling red jelly eyes follow me.
"What do I have to trade? How would you like... the power to morph?" I asked.
"SSsswhat ssdo you sswant in ssreturnss?" The taxxon asked, now more suspicious than ever.
"Merely if you let me and my friend here go."
"Sthen wess ssswants ssthisss sspower."
"I'll bet you do. I do too." I said, and swung the heavy flashlight hard. It hit the first taxxon and knocked it over into the second. For a moment they were tangled up, and I made a mad dash for the Bug Fighter.
I dove inside. Elfangor hesitated for only a second before diving in after me. I caught a glimpse of a Dracon beam.
"Shut the doors, Elfangor! Shut the doors!"
~Chapter 34~
SWOOOOOSSSSSHH
The doors shut, pressure-sealing us in.
"Can you make it fly?" I asked, looking helplessly around at foreign controls.
"Yes. Although one.."
"I don't care if the whole thing is going to fall apart in five minutes! Just fly! Get us out of here!"
"Yes, Loren. I will try."
I heard a sort of straining sound like someone had put a key in the ignition and the engine didn't catch. Then...
WHHHOOOOSSHH
With a sudden blast of energy that knocked me off my feet. We were off! And then...
KA-CHUNK! The bug fighter fell sideways. BAM! BAM! Elfangor and I were both thrown to the opposite end of the ship.
"That's what I wanted to tell you. You see, one engine is out, and the compensators are shot, so..."
"So we're flying sideways."
"Basically...Yes."
"Well, can you control the thing?"
"I think so, although I am not confident that we have sufficient fuel supply to last more than a few more of your minutes."
"So they needed to stop at a gas station too. And what's the sudden thing with "your minutes?"
"It was just a slip," he said. "I--" he suddenly interrupted himself, his strange eyes growing wide.
"What is it?"
He didn't answer me, but his fingers played over the keyboard.
"Loren...The blade ship is here."
"What? I thought we were in atmosphere!"
"We are. They are cloaked."
"What can we do! We need options!"
"We cannot outrun them, we cannot outfight them."
I stood there for a moment, fear creeping into my bones, trying to avoid panic. Then I saw the mountains outside the window.
"Elfangor! Can you make it look like we crashed?"
"What?"
"I mean, can you fake a crash? Into those mountains."
"A few more minutes and we may not have to fake it."
I looked at him. Was he serious? Joking? I could never tell.
"I will try."
The ship swerved suddenly and we were headed at the mountains. Right at them! I hoped Elfangor had been joking. And then...
"We're going down!"
"On purpose or by accident?"
"Both! The blade ship is slowing. We've confused them, at least. We are being hailed."
"Oh, how nice. Visser three remembered to return my call."
Elfangor gave me an incredulous look.
"Humor, humor." I assured him. Somehow the thought of hooking up with Visser Three gave me the willies.
"We are not responding. They may grow suspicious."
Suddenly there was a lurch and the ship shook violently
"Yeah, I'd say they're suspicious."
"We've been hit!"
There was smoke in the air, and I couldn't see through it. The last thing I remember Elfangor saying before the mountains came way too close up, way too fast, was "We are freefalling!"
~Chapter 35~
I woke up. I don't know how long I was out. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? The first thing I noticed was the cold. Burning cold. I pushed myself into a sitting position and realized I couldn't feel my hands. My face was beginning to freeze. I tasted blood. I must have cut my lip. My thoughts wandered for a moment. So cold. I saw snowflakes on the cramped deck of the ship. There was a hug gash in the side.
"...Elfangor" I called weakly. I wasn't seriously hurt, but I was disoriented. I felt something soft next to me.
"Elfangor." He was cold, still. But then again everything was cold. I listened for breathing. He was.
"Elfangor!" I shook him lightly. No response. Then, he slowly opened his eyes. His first words were, "Am I home?"
"Yes. No! I mean...you're on Earth, the ship crashed..." I trailed off. His view came into focus.
"Loren?"
"Yes?"
"You're cold." He suddenly seemed to snap out of it. He sat up, wincing a little.
"Are you hurt?" I asked, concerned.
"No. I am..alive." I helped him to his feet and we surveyed the situation.
"I don't know where we are, but I do know one thing. We won't be able to survive here. We have to try and find help."
"I agree."
Together, we stumbled off into the snow. A shock wave of cold hit me as soon as I had left the ship. For a moment, I wondered if we should have stayed. This was a life or death decision. If we found shelter, we would live. If we didn't...
I stumbled, snowblinded through white ice. Elfangor was close behind. I could see his breath come out in clouds of steam. We pushed on, as my eyes watered. The tears froze on my face, already numb. How stupid. I thought we could have a nice normal vacation. No, Loren, nothing's normal for you, is it. I was wearing sweat pants, a tank top. Not exactly cold weather clothes.
I see something!
Elfangor had reverted to thought-speak since spoken word would've been inaudible in the wind. I strained my eyes. I could make it out now too. A dark blur against white. As we approached it, I saw it more clearly.
"It's a cabin!" I yelled, but my voice was snatched away by the wind. I stumbled towards it, tripping, falling, crawling. I finally made it. There was a sign in front of it. Standing on shaky legs, I brushed the snow off. And smiled at the irony of it all.
"Welcome to Yosemite," I said. And then collapsed.
Elfangor half-dragged half-carried me into the cabin. I wasn't exactly unconscious, just sort of in a frozen stupor. I felt a blanket. Saw wood. I took the blanket, wrapped it around me. Once some warmth began to return to my body, my thought and speech came back. I looked around for the first time. We were in a cabin. It was old, warped and wooden. In one corner I saw a pile of blankets. They were all gray, featureless. There was also a fireplace with ash and a few burnt logs. This cabin hadn't been used by anyone in a long, long time. I clutched my blanket around me, realizing the snow on my clothes had melted and I was now sopping wet. I glanced over at Elfangor. He was hunched over in his blanket, deep in thought.
"Elfangor?"
His head snapped up.
"Don't look for a minute, okay?"
"Why? What are you going to do?"
"Change clothes."
Obediently, he turned his head away. When I was done I told him it was okay to look. I had my blanket wrapped around me bath-towel style.
"Fashionable, don't you think?" I said, doing a little twirl.
"Fashionable?"
"Fashion-- oh, never mind, I'll explain later."
Now that I was warm, I was thinking more clearly.
"Can you light a fire, Elfangor?"
"I can try."
"Do you need two sticks or anything?"
"I found matches."
"Oh. Okay, I guess you don't then."
There was a rasping sound as he struck the match, and then the log caught.
~Chapter 35~
The blaze was wonderful. We crowded in to it like kids at a campfire, trying to get warm.
"I wonder. About my family sometimes."
Elfangor caught me completely off guard this time. He just said it out of nowhere. I didn't know what to say, so I said,
"Oh?"
"Yes. There were four of us. My mother, father, and brother."
"You have a brother?"
"My mother was expecting when I...well, left. She would have had him by now. His name will be...is, Aximili."
I pictured a baby Andalite. That had to be cute. I wondered what Elfangor looked like when he was young. Not human, I told myself sadly.
"Do Andalite families usually have so few children?"
"Yes. The electorate regulates births. Most families only have one child, but more are being allowed into the world now that the war is upon us."
"That's sad, letting children be born just for the purpose of war."
"Yes," he agreed, eyes somber. It depressed me to think of that. The whole race of peaceful Andalites, breeding only to have their young killed. I needed something to lighten the mood.
"Elfangor...I've been meaning to ask you, but it seemed kind of personnel. I might as well ask now. Andalites don't have any lips. How do they kiss?"
"Well," Elfangor started, a little embarrassed, "Andalites...well...we have different erogenous zones than humans, obviously. But there's one on the face, and we kiss by..."
He put his hand to the side of my face, stroking it lightly. I put mine to his. We kissed the Andalite way. Then we kissed the human way. We broke apart, firelight in between us. I was honored. Elfangor, for the first time, was opening up to me.
"Have you ever thought about having children?" Elfangor asked.
"Yes. I want children. One, maybe two or three."
"I didn't used to..." He trailed off. "Loren?"
"Yes."
He took my hand and held it between us, the light on his face.
"I don't know how humans...traditionally do this, but...I love you. I want to stay with you. Want you..to be my wife. Will you marry me, Loren?"
I said nothing. I was pretty sure that I'd been knocked out, died maybe and this was my little fantasy. I must've looked like an idiot, looking back at it, but right then my mind was racing faster than the speed of light. I held my blanket tightly around myself, almost hugging myself, trying..
"I--I---"
I knew I was going to start crying. I really didn't want to, I hated getting all emotional like this. I nodded my head violently, trying to speak.
"Yes. Yes. I will! I do!"
I kissed him. He kissed me, hard. We kissed. Us. One. It was such a strange idea. Such a good idea.
"Elfangor..." I whispered to him
"I love how you say my name," he said.
"Elfangor," I breathed again, looking into those fantastic eyes. I let my blanket fall to the floor.
And then it was skin on skin. Ecstasy as held on to Elfangor, moving deliciously against me. We faded into the blackness of night.
~Chapter 36~
Morning. Sweet morning. God, morning never felt so good. I didn't open my eyes for a moment, just being still. Then I carefully untangled my limbs from Elfangor's, trying not to wake him up.
"Loren." He said, softly. He had a way with me, a way of saying things. Too late not to wake him up. I smiled. He smiled.
"I love you."
I propped myself up on my elbow beside him.
"I know."
"You are my Shormitorah."
"What?"
"Shorm. An Andalite word that means "Tail Blade" and "True Friend." Shormitorah means true love. You are my Shormitorah, I am your Shormitoran."
"Shormitorah," I said, trying the word out. True love. I felt like the luckiest person alive.
"Wait..." Elfangor paused, "There is a ritual."
He reached out and placed his hand against my heart. I put my hand against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm.
"Just repeat after me, " he said, then looked deep into my eyes.
"Shormitorah. My first, my one, my only."
"Shormitoran. My first, my one, my only."
And a swear, for a second, it was as if our heartbeats switched. Mine was his, his was mine. He pulled back his hand, still looking in my eyes.
"As long as there is love between us, your heart will always beat in mine. Even if we are apart, we will have this."
It was almost a premonition. We got up, and feeling a chill I draped my blanket back around my shoulders. Elfangor took one too. I opened the Cabin door. The sun had not yet risen, it must've been about four o'clock in the morning. The ice and snow were still and glinting. It was quiet, except for the shriek of a bird. We looked up. A red-tailed hawk circled in the sky. I felt suddenly cold, and we closed the door. The sun could rise without us.
~Chapter 37~
By the time we finally got going, it had to be mid afternoon. We really weren't going anyplace. Just generally trying to go home, or get somewhere that would get us home. For the first time I knew how it felt to be in love. More than love, I don't know. Can't really describe it. To laugh at stupid jokes, look at the bright side of anything and everything, wanting to be near Elfangor all the time. Just simple touching, holding hands. I'd found magic. We didn't have to walk too far to find civilization-- there isn't anywhere in America where you can't, I don't think. But there were little problems. Like..telling my mom. I ran little movies in my head:
"So, you see mom, I met this four-eyed blue centaur-like scorpion tailed alien..who was really cute, by the way,"
"Yes,"
"And we sort of accidentally fell in love, and he kind of got shamed for betraying a war price so he came here..."
"Keep going,"
"So he morphed human. And now he sorta wants to marry me."
"That's it? What have you two been doing lately?"
"Nothing really. Just screwing around."
No, no, no! I gave myself a little mental slap. You've gotta lie to her. Keep it normal! You went to college, met Mr.Joe Average and now you're getting married. Oh, why did I have to be such a bad liar? I looked up from my thoughts and saw a building in the distance. I was walking leaning against Elfangor. Our arms were around each other. Sure, it was a kind of difficult way to walk, but it's not like it really mattered.
"What is a human marriage like, Loren?"
I smiled.
"You have a wedding. You wear a tuxedo- remember? Like you did to the prom? I wear a wedding dress...white...and lots of bridesmaids, and rose petals, rice.."
I could tell Elfangor wasn't really getting this, but I don't think he really cared. He had the same goofy expression on his face that I probably did.
"Rice?"
"Yep. But you can't eat it."
We both laughed at that. For no reason I can see now. You know those movies where the couples call each other love-muffin and sweet-pea and babycakes and all that? And everyone is disgusted with it except then? It was like that. It was probably a good thing we weren't with any other people, they might be nauseated. About every five seconds one or the other of us would stop to say I love you. Or we'd just stand there, looking at each other. I was on a love-high. I had found the perfect man, and all it had taken was being abducted. And he loved me back, loved me as much as I loved him. I could tell. Every five seconds. And it was real, so real.
We finally reached the building and realized it was a library. We had wandered out of Yosemite. I had to resist the urge to say, "Well, that was fun. Let's do it again sometime." We got directions from the librarian, a really nice woman who commented that we were "so cute" and he was "obviously crazy about me" and I was "glowing." It was like the whole world was in love. Maybe that was just the way I saw it. She didn't comment on the blanket, but I guess they get strange types. There was a man dressed in confetti sitting by the far wall, and a couple in 70's clothes. Only later had I found out the library was giving a fashion show at the time. Luckily I still had my wallet, undamaged, in the pocket of my sweat pants. We went to a nearby boutique and bought matching jeans and shirts. Like I said, we were in pretty deep.
"What's next?" Elfangor asked.
"Well we've got to find a car rental place, and then...then I tell my mom."
Elfangor looked a little worried. "Your mother will approve?"
I looked a little worried too. "Oh, yeah. I'm sure she'll have no problem. You'll, you know, get to meet her though. Again. When she has her full personality back and isn't a fragment of my imagination and all."
~Chapter 38~
"Loren! Sweetie! Oh my God, I can't believe it! I am SO glad to see you! We've got to get all the family together, Theresa, Bill, Uncle Adam, your sister and brother...oh, and is this the handsome man who's got your heart? Hello! How are you? I'm Loren's mom, Ms.Paige. Just call me Cindy."
It had been three days since our little escapades in Yosemite. We had rented a car, driven home, slept for an entire day and gone home to see my mother. The minute the doorbell had been rung, the assault started.
"OOh, he's a cute one! If you hadn't gotten him I might've gone after him myself, you know."
"Mom!"
"You two were..you know, safe and everything, weren't you? I mean,--"
"MOTHER!"
"I'm sorry sweetie, I don't mean to embarrass you or this fine young man, you know how proud I am of you, it's just that.."
I sat down and tried very hard not to die of embarrassment. Elfangor just looked confused. I envied him.
"Here, why don't you sit down. You two can share the sofa, now, what's you're name?"
"Elf-- I mean, my name is Alan Fangor, thank you."
"Alan...I once had a boyfriend named Alan in my junior year..."
"Yes, mother, and you're not telling anyone about it," I said smiling. She smiled and squeezed me to her again.
"You have no idea how happy I am for you two! How long have you known each other?"
"We met when... I mean, the very first day of collage. So we've known each other for a good year-and-a-half or so."
"Good, good. What are you majoring in, Alan?"
There was a brief silence. I nudged Elfangor.
"Oh! I am studying computer programming, physics and advanced mathematics."
"He took calculus very early on in school, " I said. My mother looked impressed.
Privately, to me, Elfangor said,
You're mother is quite talkative, Loren.
I gave him a repressed smile, mouthing, "You don't know the half of it."
"What's that dear?"
"Nothing mom."
We talked small talk for a minute more, then got down to business. Picking a wedding day was hard. Everybody had something to do. I got an update on my family:
"Well, let's see. Your sister married a man- Bruce, I think, not very nice at all in my opinion, but she's got her own life. He's a car mechanic, she works and Macy's. Your brother? Oh, he's a roofer. He married too. A very skanky woman in my opinion. He hates her now, she's on the other coast. He's got into some trouble with alcohol, but Loren, he tries. Almost every penny he gets goes in to help me. You know times have been rough since...you know."
Since my father left.
"Oh, and sad news. Marjorie died while you were away. I attended the wake."
"Marjorie?"
"That sweet old thing next door?"
"Oh, right."
So much had gone on since then. I was a little sad about my brother. He hadn't exactly been an intellectual giant when we were small, but at least he had kindness then. I remember once he was throwing rocks at some bird's nest. My sister and I were playing with dad in the yard..it was before he went away. He hit the bird's nest and killed this sparrow don't think he knew what he was doing had consequences. Anyway, he ran over and picked it up and when he saw it was dead, he just started crying. Dad tried to console him. Then everything changed when the war started.
We finally decided on a day everyone could do. April 16. It was soon, too soon to be prepared in my opinion, but my mother insisted. And when my mother insisted, no one really had a choice. I remembered the first time Elfangor had met her. A long time ago on a strange planet, and he was still physically Andalite. And, as I heard from Elfangor, she had said, "Leave the door open a crack. That's the rule when Andalites come over to play." I smiled at that memory. Oh, mom. Even when I was a teenager she was talky, watchful of me. I always used to think she liked embarrassing me. Who knows, maybe she did.
As soon as our little talk ended (Elfangor had gotten her seal of approval, apparently) we set out to throw the wedding of a century. I had money from a part-time job, my mother loaned us some money, and apparently, Elfangor had money. More than both of us. When I interrogated him about it, he'd told me that some computer companies had paid him to give tips and consultations. I said, "News to me."
~Chapter 39~
We picked out cake, refreshments, invitations, favors, flowers, music, a church, bridesmaids, best man, a tux, an organist, a singer, a flower girl, a ring bearer (my sister's kid) and a wedding dress, which took me days. The whole thing took us to right up to the day before the ceremony. We were both exhausted, but everything seemed ready. I wanted the perfect wedding. I talked to my sister, who had the sweetest little kid but a total deadbeat for a husband. My family didn't seem to have the best of luck when it came to guys. My sister seemed tired, worn out. A little snappy. I saw my brother. I was amazed at his change in appearance. Working for days in the sun had taken a toll on him. He looked old, tough. And I smelled alcohol on his breath. That scared me. Right then I figured I had lost two potential babysitters if I ever had a child. My sister would probably moan, "Loren, where do you get off dumping him here! I'm busy!" or something like that. My brother would probably beat him to death. Just like that sparrow and the rock. But I didn't have the time to be depressed. I mean, come on! I was getting married!
I was jumping around the house, yelling it. Elfangor was happy too, although he didn't exactly jump around since that isn't quite Andalite style. He just went around with a perpetual smile, laughed a lot, like he was the most optimistic person in the world. Even through the excitement, though, I was nervous. Nervous to death, if that's even possible.
I barely slept through the night. What could go wrong? Food poisoning? A million, billion other things? At last dawn came, breaking through my window. And I was up. For a moment I felt an overwhelming sense of loss because of Lisa. How great it would've been to have her here now. Gossiping about Elfangor, helping me prepare, find a pretty wedding dress. I went to my mother's house to get ready. Elfangor was still sleeping, but I had no doubt he'd be there too, at least in a little while. I put on my wedding dress. Lots of deodorant. I zipped it up. My mother was brushing powder, blush on my face. I kept sneezing and she kept having to do it over again. My sister, who finally had the sense to take the day off was working my hair into what hopefully was a masterpiece.
"Aaachooo!"
"Lori, turn your face away, I'm using the hairspray!"
"Aaaaaaaacho! Aaaacho!" Sniff. "Mom, enough powder already!"
"Honey I'm just trying to help you here!"
"Okay, do you want your hair up or down. It's so pretty down. Okay, turn your face that way"
"No, no, I need her to turn her face that way, honey"
"Mom, look, that really is enough powder. Even I say so."
"Aaaaacchoo!"
Elfangor was in the next room, struggling with the Tux. My brother was absolutely no help since he had never worn one. Uncle Adam was in there, but even so I kept hearing, "Oh, no! I missed another button. Okay, unbutton the jacket, we're doing this all over again."
"There! My mother said, finally putting down the oversized powder brush."
"Almost done Lori, let me just run the brush through one more time."
"There. Okay, turn around."
I turned around. Gave a little gasp of surprise. I looked...well, beautiful, if I could say it without being egotistical. My hair was down, loose, but drawn back from my face. It was shining-- probably filled with hairspray, but that didn't matter. My face was clean-- powdery and I had on a soft lipstick. And, kudos to my mom about a million coats of waterproof mascara "Oh, I cried buckets at my wedding honey. And you're lashes aren't dark enough because of that pretty blond hair."
I was ready. I took some deep breaths and tried to hold down breakfast and not sweat at the same time. I was driven to the church in a normal car- no limo, but that didn't seem to cramp anyone's style. I saw my bridesmaids, all my nieces, nephews, relative's relative's children. The sweet little boy of my sister's who was the ring bearer. I felt a little sorry for him. I couldn't stand to see children treated wrong.
I stepped out of the car-- classic me, tripping over my own wedding dress, and into the church. My sister whispered that the best man (a "Bill Gates") and Elfangor were all ready in position. Then she became her own self for a moment and told me,
"Oh, and Alan looks hot."
"Hot?"
"In both senses of the word, Lori."
The Flower girl, my aunt's granddaughter, came out, then my little troop of bridesmaids. I was hyperventilating by now. I took in the church. Vast, beautiful. I had always liked this church. When my father left I would come here and cry, pray for him alone. The doors opened.
~Chapter 40~
It was amazing. Overwhelming. All the people. The stained glass. At the end of the Isle, there was Elfangor. Alan Fangor. I didn't give a damn about the name. Although I did find it a bit strange that I was becoming Loren Fangor. I sounded like a vampire.
The organ music started playing. Trying not to faint, I began to walk the isle. I could see Elfangor more clearly now. He was staring at me. He didn't look to bad himself. As I came closer he mouthed the words, "You are beautiful." I blushed, concealed under my personal mountain of powder. At last I reached the altar. There I stood across from Elfangor, my mind swimming happily. I'm marrying an Alien! I thought joyfully for no apparent reason. At last came the "I do's." Do you, Alan Fangor, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife..." Elfangor looked at me.
"I do."
I do. He said privately, to me only.
"Do you, Loren Paige, take this man..."
"I do." I said, unmoving. My sister's kid came up with the ring then. Elfangor slipped it on my finger. I put it on his.
"You may now kiss the bride."
And he kissed me, and it may have been the happiest moment of my life. My mother was right. I started crying.
Are you all right?
I nodded to him, not caring that I was crying. I looked onto all the audience. The pews were filled with friends from school, old childhood friends, relatives, friends of relatives. I noticed that my sister's son had brought a fake rat. That threw me a little, but my day wasn't about to be ruined. Elfangor's side wasn't bad either. He'd made friends at college, and about every computer technician the USA had ever produced was there. And then...I saw him. And I cannot describe the feeling that absolutely enveloped me then. Standing at the altar, bouquet in hand, across from Elfangor and the preacher, not to mention every one else, I yelled, "Shit!"
~Chapter 41~
There was a momentary pause. Mainly because most people don't say "shit" while getting married. "I love you," yes, "I need you," yes, but not "shit." However, I had reason. I saw a face in the crowd, one that was way, way too familiar. He was on the groom' s side. Sitting casually on the bench. I also saw what he held in his hand.
Visser Three had come, just for my wedding. There was the momentary pause, and then,
TSSSSEEEEEEEWWWWWW
The beam hit near the ceiling, next to the giant cross that hung from the wall.
Screams! People screaming! Running! The peaceful church was suddenly chaos as people knocked over ceramic statues of the Virgin Mary on their way to scrambling safety. No one really knew what was going on except me. And I....well, I had had as much as I could take. I pretty much snapped.
"Visser Three, you--" I attached some not-so pretty words to that sentence. But I think the Visser got the idea that I was not happy. Then, ignoring the screaming guests and leaving Elfangor standing confused at the altar, I jumped him. Yes, jumped him. Yes, looking back on it it was stupid, but it seemed rather necessary at the time. It certainly surprised the Visser.
"Wha--?" He said as I tackled him. I was into total catfight mode here. I was whacking him with my bouquet, scratching, biting, hair pulling, the works. I was even managing to get off a few good punches. However the Visser reacted quickly, and from the confessionals-- God, the confessionals of all places, Hork-Bajir came. Well, if Visser Three wasn't going to Hell before this, he sure was now.
"Get this human girl OFF me!"
He bellowed as he turned his head and put his hands up to try and keep from getting his eyes scratched out. I wasn't even nearly through with him. I had gone total psycho. Half of what I was yelling at him I didn't even understand.
"Yeah, and your mother Yeerk slept around, did you know that Visser? And all your troops laugh at you when you're not looking cause you think you're so big and all but really-- take that! You stupid slug! I hate you! I hate you! I'm pouring salt all over your slimy little body! Salt Yeerk! Salt!"
Looking back at it now, I think the Visser may have been a little scared of me. Yes, he had fought the stupid Hork-Bajir and the honorable Andalite warriors, but I don't think he had ever faced a 20-year-old girl who's wedding he had ruined. I can tell you first hand, it's deadly.
The Hork-Bajir advanced quickly, but fortunately for me the pews were too small for more than one to reach the Visser at a time. As one approached I kicked it (another smart thing to do) and by sheer luck, it buckled. It took me a moment to realize... before I figured out just where I had kicked it. Oh, I thought to myself, now maybe I have a new way to tell boy Horkies from girls. The Hork-Bajir behind it stepped over the crumpled one and deftly grabbed me with a claw, with me still trying to punch the Visser. I noticed Elfangor on the ground a couple pews over. His tux was ripped. Looks like he had joined the fight too. But it was over. Two humans verses six Hork-Bajir and one evil Yeerk leader is not exactly a fair match. The Visser got up shakily, face bloody. I got great satisfaction out of that. Elfangor was giving me a very strange look that I interpreted as, 'I still love you, good job on the Visser, please don't kill me." Finally there was silence. All the guests had long since left (running and screaming albeit) and at last it was just us. The Visser wiped blood off his face with his sleeve. And began to demorph, now that the church had emptied.
Well, well. Who ever would of thought. You two MARRIED. But here you are. I guess it doesn't matter that your little friend here is.., well, an illegal alien.
The Hork-Bajir huff-huffed at his joke. What brown-nosers.
I didn't reply.
Silent, about it, eh? Well, I assure you...
"--ve haff ways of making you talk" I finished, being the very best Natzi I could.
The Visser looked confused. The Hork-Bajir looked confused. Elfangor looked confused.
"Oh, for crying out loud!" I said. I was still coming down off the high of beating up, schoolyard style, a conqueror of worlds.
"Visser Three, I am so sick of you. You've hurt my family, my friends. I swear, I swear that if you let me go I would go over there and...and..."
And what? He laughed, Surrender? Because you have no other options. But I did. Because I noticed something, something I could use... The fake rat must've been dropped in the confusion, because I saw it there, lying on the floor, right by the Visser's deadly tail.
"You know why I am so confident, Visser," I said, suddenly changing tones. He eyes me suspiciously.
What trick are you going to try and pull now, human?
"Oh, I wouldn't think of tricking you. Maybe the third, morph-capable member of our group though."
You lie.
"No, only on occasion. I'd say you should stay on the lookout for rats. You know, aside from yourself and all."
The Visser did not answer, but he did scope a little with his stalk eyes. It was the Hork-Bajir closest to him that saw it.
"Garafash! Visser! There!"
The Visser turned his head and stalk eyes. He saw nothing for a moment, and then,
No, you fool!
Too Late.
"I get! I kill!"
The Hork-Bajir brought his massive, clawed, foot down. On the rubber mouse, and the Visser's tail.
Aaaaaaaah! The Visser yelled. I saw Elfangor wince out of the corner of my eye.
"Aaaaaaaaah!" The Hork-Bajir wailed, as he no longer had a foot.
"Run!" I yelled to Elfangor, and we were out of there.
~Chapter 41~
I read Elfangor the newspaper clipping out loud. It was at night. I was crying, he was holding me.
"Sunday, April 16: A bomb was apparently set off by an unknown person at a wedding at Freemont Chapel this Sunday. Although no one was killed, several were injured. The wedding of Alan Fangor and Loren Paige was interrupted suddenly by an explosion and consequent screams. Mr. and Mrs. Fangor were left behind, but came out alive and uninjured. Most of the guests escaped unharmed. Of those who were, they have been hospitalized and reported in good condition. An interview with Ms.Paige, Loren Fangor's mother, produced the following; "Oh, yes, I actually saw the bomb. It was perched up by the cross. I don't think any one man did it though." Her other daughter complied with the story as well."
I stopped reading.
"Loren, this is not possible. There is...was no bomb. They couldn't have seen it."
"I know, I know Elfangor. They got them. They got them."
"Yeerks." He said the words with soft hate.
I fell asleep that night, and I didn't dream. I didn't dare dream.
I decided another thing, too. I would not let the Yeerks interfere with my honeymoon. Elfangor had graduated from college while I was still in my junior year, so we had some money from his job as a computer programmer. He actually got a license to drive, (After failing the test three times) and as a present I had saved up my money and bought him something special.
"Why do I have to keep my eyes closed?"
"Because, I told you. It's a surprise!"
"What is it?"
"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?"
I led Elfangor, eyes closed, onto the front lawn.
"Can I open them yet?"
"No, wait,...lemme just..." I tried to figure out which position it should be viewed from best. I moved him left a couple of feet, then right again.
"Now?"
"You sure are impatient," I said laughing.
"Then when?" He pleaded.
"Ok...Now."
He opened his eyes. Gaped. Turned around and hugged so that I'm sure at least three ribs cracked. He was staring at the yellow Mustang I had bought. Almost exactly the same as the one he'd driven so long ago.
"I even have Dr.Pepper with me, if you want it!"
This is great! Loren! I love you! I can't wait to drive it!
In his excitement he'd gone back to thought-speak. Probably a good thing too, the neighbors wouldn't have liked someone screaming out loud anyway. We'd gotten a house, cute, white, small but not too small.
Loren, I don't know if I ever told you this...I mean, it was kind of embarrassing at the time, but when I was going through tough times on the Taxxon homeworld, I wished that I was with you, riding in my mustang
I was touched. I had no idea he'd had a thing for me that early on.
"Your wish is about to come true," I said. I jumped in the passenger side, tossed Elfangor the keys. Looking happy, slightly crazed, he gunned it.
We drove and drank Dr.Peppers all the way to Florida.
The next portion of my life was a near dream. It was normal. Fun, better than fun. Elfangor taught me a lot of things- Quantum theories, told me Andalite fairy tales, taught me at least a dozen rituals. And I taught him to sing pretending your brush is a microphone, how to vacuum a house, swim, play games, I told him human fairy tales and told him how he should always wash his hands before eating. I taught him how to pray. Our lives were becoming completely intermeshed. We'd do Andalite rituals in the morning, he would clean, I would cook. We'd talk, work, walk. And at night, sometimes, I'd still say his name, just because he liked to hear me say it. And we'd discuss what we wanted- children- a son, a daughter. And one night we had a strange conversation. One I always meant to ask Elfangor about. One I never had the chance to.
"If we had a girl, I'd want to name her...I don't know. Something unusual. I mean, Loren's okay and all, but I always wished I was named something exotic. You know, like "Winter" or "Velvet" or something."
"I don't like those. They remind me too much of cold and a piece of cloth."
"Oh, you're no fun," I said, taking a playful whack at him.
"We could always name it something Andalite," he suggested.
"Oh, yeah that would work. Then the poor kid would be named, like, Sirinial Fangor or something. It would sound like a hunting dog from India."
"They have hunting dogs in India?"
"Beats me. Nice image, though."
"Loren...I do have one thing to ask," he said.
I turned to face him. He looked serious.
"If we have a son....could we, please..name him Tobias."
I looked at him questioningly.
"Yes, Elfangor, if it's that important."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
To this day I don't know why.
Space travel. To be able to see both of our worlds.
If that had lasted forever, I would've died happy. I think Elfangor would have too. I'll never know.
~Chapter 41~
I woke up. The sun was streaming in through our window, warming me.
Ugh. My stomach.
I got up out of bed, made it to the bathroom. Just in time. Behind me I heard a sleepy voice call, "Loren, honey? Are you OK?"
Elfangor appeared at the bathroom door, yawning and rubbing his eyes.
"Yes, I just happen to like puking while sitting in front of the toilet, naked, on the bathroom floor."
"Oh."
Normally Elfangor is a morning person. I kind of guess all Andalites are. Not when he stayed up most the night, though, and believe me, he had.
I sighed, "Go back to bed, before you fall asleep standing up."
"Okay," he said passively. I went back to sleep too, thinking nothing else than, "Do not eat Chinese food that has been refrigerated for more than a day."
But the pattern repeated itself nearly that whole week. My job started at 7:00AM and I kept having to call in sick, even though I'd generally feel better after 12:00. And I knew this had a name. Morning sickness. I finally got the clue when I missed my period a week later. Pregnant.
But I couldn't be sure, I mean, I could just have a stomach virus, and my period could just be late. I mean, it did that sometimes. Don't get me wrong; Elfangor and I had decided to have children almost a year ago, and we would both be excited If I was pregnant now, but I didn't want to get any false hopes started. I would see my doctor first, then either tell Elfangor, or...I don't know, be more careful about what I ate. I called the obstetrician's office. Got the nurse.
"Hello, Dr.Gracie's office."
"Hi. My name is Loren Fangor, and I..Well, kind of think I might be pregnant."
"Is it planned?"
"Yes."
"Okay then, I'll make you an appointment. The closest slot I have would be at 5:00pm on a Thursday."
"Okay...let me check...I think I can make that."
"All right, thank you."
Click. I could barely stop myself from jumping around. I heard lock and key. Elfangor was back from work. Oh, God, it was torture not telling him anything. But I really wanted to know for sure before telling anyone, including myself. Looking back on it now, it was stupid. I should've told him. Then, I know, he wouldn't have left. But in the end, as he knew, as I would know, he had to leave. No choice.
It was Monday, and I was positively hyperactive for Thursday. Tuesday crawled by, Wednesday. No period. Lots of trips to the bathroom. Elfangor becoming more concerned.
"Are you sure you're OK? Really? You should see a doctor."
I told him I was. And then, Thursday. That damned day. I woke up, washed my face, took a shower. When I came out, Elfangor was leaving for work that day. I came out in time to see him off. We kissed goodbye. It was a long kiss.
"I love you," He said.
"I love you too, sweetie, " I said, wrapping my hair turban-style. I noticed he was looking at me strangely then. As if it wasn't really him. Or it was him but different, worn. I stood there as he paused at the doorway.
"I'll always love you Loren. I always have."
And then he left. The words still ring in my ears. But at the time I was happy. I was singing while brushing my hair. I had cut it, not too short though. Elfangor liked it long. He told me it was beautiful. I believed him. I always believed him. I got dressed, went to work. I got off early, got in my other car, a beat up old Volkswagen, and drove to the doctor's office. My obstetrician confirmed my hope. I was pregnant. Better than that, it was a boy. I saw the ultrasound. Heard his little fluttering heartbeat. Oh God, it was a wonderful feeling. Elfangor and I had created something.Created life. I felt a little jolt. Tobias kicked me for the very first time.
~Chapter 42~
Home. I arrived home. There was Elfangor's car in the driveway. Yet I felt a chill. I opened the door. The house was empty.
"Elfangor?" I called. It almost echoed. Then I looked on the coffee table. There was a piece of paper. It was Elfangor's handwriting. Scribbled almost illegibly on it was,
"Loren my love, I am so, so sorry. It was a mistake. I have to go, I didn't want to, I swear I didn't want to, I never knew..."
The note ended there. A feeling of cold dread began to creep up my spine. I dropped the note.
"Elfangor!" I called again, some desperation in my voice. No answer.
LOREN
The voice was huge. I had heard it before. I whipped around.
"Ellimist!" I hissed.
YES. ELFANGOR IS GONE. THIS IS NOT THE WAY THINGS WERE MEANT TO BE. YOU WERE MEANT TO MARRY ANOTHER. HE HAS HIS DUTY, TO YOU, TO HIS OTHER PEOPLE, AND HE MUST CARRY IT OUT.
"No," I said. A plea. It couldn't be...Elfangor, gone. The Ellimist was there, in the middle of my living room, giving off a strange turquoise light. He looked like an old man. Piercing gray eyes seemed to look past me.
YOU HAVE DISRUPTED TIME. YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD YOUR SON BY NOW. ELFANGOR SHOULD HAVE GONE LONG AGO
"He loved me! It was his choice to stay, you bastard!" Yes, calling an all powerful being a bastard was probably not very intelligent, but my husband had left, my family was infested, and I was pregnant with no one to turn to.
It was then I realized I was getting a lot more pregnant. My stomach was swelling, visibly. I felt another kick. I gaped at the Ellimist in horror.
"What..What are you doing to me?" I gasped.
YOUR SON WILL BE BORN NOW. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND YET, BUT IT IS THE WAY IT HAS TO BE.
"Now? Now!!! I can't..." I stopped as I felt what seemed like the worst cramps of a lifetime. Contractions. Looks like I could just skip six or so months.
"Are you crazy?" I yelled, trying to breathe and talk at the same time. And then I couldn't talk at all. The pain was bad. I fell back on my bed. It was also unbelievable. I was going to have my baby the same day I had found out I was pregnant.
"Why..." push, "Did you make"....breath.. "Him leave now?" I finished in a scream.
Oh, God, God, I was having a baby. And I was probably going to get blood all over my nice clean sheets. Funny what you think about in traumatic situations.
"You couldn't even let him see his son?" I was screaming at him, while sobbing at the same time. From the pain, from the confusion. And breathing. And pushing. I felt another kick. I was on my back, having a baby. No, that couldn't be.
HE WILL SEE YOUR SON
And there was a flash. I was in a hospital. Nurses around me. And the Ellimist's voice.
DELIVER THE CHILD
"No really!" I yelled, "I think I'm going to keep him in me!"
"Push, Push," A nurse coached.
"I am pushing dammit!" I yelled at her.
"I can see the head! Keep pushing!"
I Pushed. Breathed. Yelled at the nurses. Pushed. Breathed.
"You're almost there, sweetie, just keep pushing." A nurse said to me.
I Pushed. Breathed again.
"Come on, you can do it, you're almost there."
Pushing, breathing, pushing breathing, for what honestly seemed like hours, days.
I gave, seriously, the push of a lifetime. I practically passed out. I heard a distant sort of cheer. I was just trying to breathe. Live. And something, something small and soft was placed, bawling it's little head off, in my arms.
~Chapter 43~
Tobias. Tobias was in my arms. I was crying, tears streaming down my face. I didn't have one emotion, I was swamped. Anger, resentment, fear, loss, hope, joy, a miracle. I looked down at the tiny thing. He had my hair. I little darker maybe, a combination of my golden blond and Elfangor's brown. It was only a little tuft, but it stood spiked out in different directions. I smoothed it down. My hair never did what I wanted it too either. When I picked him up, he stopped screaming. He opened his eyes and looked at me. Green eyes. He had Elfangor's eyes. This started a fresh bout of tears.
I didn't even pay attention to the congratulatory nurses or doctors. I was oblivious to them. Little Tobias snuggled up to me, curled against me and closed his eyes. He was a miracle, a miracle. I know that Elfangor would've given his life to see him now. Amidst my own confusion, I fell asleep.
* * *
When I woke up it was night. I was in a hospital bed, still holding Tobias. He was asleep, making little gurgling noises. And I heard it again.
LOREN, YOU MUST, LEAVE, GO HOME
"Can't you leave me alone?" I whispered. But as I did I noticed I was getting up, setting Tobias down carefully.
GET DRESSED.
I was getting dressed. I picked up Tobias, held him against my chest.
GO HOME
I was sneaking along the corridors. Acting natural. I hated the Ellimist. I hated the Ellimist.
I walked home. The hospital wasn't too far away. I wasn't all that worried about getting held up or mugged. Mainly because that wasn't the "Way it was meant to be." I made it home, turned the key. Opened the door, still cradling Tobias. He had woken up. He looked like he was ready to cry. I didn't have any formula, so I breast fed him. After that he seemed to quiet down. He fell asleep again. I was putting on my jacket when I heard a noise.
"Ellimist?"
YOU ARE MARRIED TO ANOTHER, LOREN, IN THIS TIME LINE
"What?" I remembered, he had said it before but I hadn't been listening.
I heard latch and key. The door. I held Tobias close. The door opened. And I froze. Froze where I stood, trapped in a bleak nightmare that within hours had become my life. Jeren stood in the doorway.
"Honey, I'm home!"
Yes, so I married one alien. He was honorable, good. But I have my limits, I have my standards.
"You," I said, contempt on my face.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He said, his face a disgusting expression of concern. Then...
"What's that you're holding?" He asked, sweetness growing thin. I looked him straight in the eye.
"It's a baby, darling. And it's not yours. And never, ever will be."
I ran.
~Chapter 44~
I ran, ran, out of that house. I ran all the way to the church. Still clutching Tobias to me, I slipped into a confessional.
"Forgive me father, for I have sinned,"
"I am listening, my child,"
"I...I have a child. And...my husband, who's not really my husband, is coming after me. Father, I have the baby, I can't let him...help me.."
I didn't really have time to mention the fact that I'd killed my own best friend, slept with an alien and had been cursing at God. I'd have to do Rosaries for the rest of my life.
"....Looorreenn..." my heartbeat jumped. Oh, God, he'd followed me! Tobias stirred against me.
".....Loren....Where are you?" My breathing quickened.
"Loren, is that your name," the man in the booth said quickly. A pause.
"I'll hold him off."
"Oh, God, God bless you." Tobias waking up. I prayed he wouldn't cry.
"Go, go now child, while you still have time!" I slipped out of the confessional booth, hidden by the dark shadows. The priest emerged.
"Stop, who is there?"
I heard screams as I ran, slipped through the door. The man would go back to god, but I didn't have any more tears. I ran blindly through the night. Across streets, across wet grass. I didn't have a destination I was just running. I saw lights ahead. A road. Cars. I recognized the street. Of course! I had been going somewhere all along. I couldn't take Tobias to my sister's, not to my mother's either. They were controllers. I'd have to take him to my brothers. The thought sickened me. But I realized then, I had two choices. One was to be captured. Both of us. I couldn't run with him, no he was too fragile. The Dejrik would get me. The Yeerks would get me. Or I could leave him with my brother. I started crying again, just when I thought it was impossible. Oh, my baby. My child, my son, my miracle. Tobias. I took out a piece of paper. Scribbled on it.
"This is my son. Take care of him, treat him well. I'm sorry. His name is Tobias. -Loren"
I took off my jacket, wrapped his tiny body up from the cold as well as I could. He was crying now. My tears were falling on his face.
"I love you Tobias, I love you." Elfangor's words.
"I'll always love you. I always have." I kissed his sweet face, held him to me one more time and then rang the doorbell. When my brother answered it, I was gone.
This time I had a destination. This time I knew what I was going to do. As I ran, choking on tears, trying to breath, tiring with every footstep, I knew who was behind me. Around me. I just had to make it to the bridge. I had gone numb, cold. I saw the brightness of the illuminated bridge in the distance. Still I ran. And then I was there. I reached cold metal. Collapsed, leaning against it. And I turned to face them.
My mother, my sister. Visser Three. Jeren. They were standing, solemn. Everyone, including me knew it was really over this time. My luck had run out. My time was used up. The sun had gone down. Jeren approached me.
"You will come with us now."
I was silent, just breathing. The Visser stepped forward.
"You know there's no way out. Come with us peacefully and you will be treated as a voluntary host. What do you say to that?"
I leaned in closer. Rage boiling in me even now.
"Fuck you." I snarled. He held out a hand. I knew, it was over, it was over. But wait. No, no it wasn't over. Not just yet. There was one last thing to be done.
"Yeerks." I said.
"How slow are you, not to learn something. The one thing you don't know. I will not die enslaved. You do what you do for power. People don't die for power."
With wide eyes Jeren was the first to realize what I was going to do. He ran towards me. Like I hoped he'd do. I threw back my head.
"I will die free!" I screamed, screamed as my lungs ached. Always running, always running. And now I could rest. Jeren jumped! Towards me. I jumped too. Onto the railing. His momentum carried us both over. I saw one last look my mother, sister, enemy. They looked shocked but they looked...defeated. And I had a small victory. I saw black water beneath me. Images, kaleidoscopes in my mind. My sweet child, my lover, my family, my heart, mind, soul.
"I do this for Love!"
THE END