This is the moment that you know
That you told her that you loved her, but you don't.

"Kagome, I love you." He didn't know why he spoke those words to her. Maybe to see her smile or to ensure that his plans for the night succeeded, but even as she gave him a radiant smile, he could still see the disappointment in her eyes because she knew he was lying. And he knew that for her the feelings were real.

He can still hear her whispering words in the breeze as it blew through the trees, 'I love you, Sesshomaru.' To say that he was surprised was an understatement of course, he knew that he could get her to care for him but he thought that it would have taken longer than a couple months. Even though she told him her feelings, he could still feel her uncertainty and shyness about the situation and so he did not go after her on that night. No. He was going to make sure that she did not deny him and was completely his without any hesitation. He wanted her mind, body and soul or else the mating bond might not hold.

It had been six months since she told him that and in that time he had been leading her to believe that he was falling in love with her as well. He would buy her gifts and take her on what she had referred to as 'dates', all leading up to this one night. He had told her of his intentions in the beginning, because of course that is what tradition states and she was of course surprised in his interest in her. Soon after though she made it perfectly clear of she looked for in a mate and did not care for power or social standings. The game had been set.

You touch her skin and then you think
That she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me
Yeah, she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me.

He slowly began his approach, like a predator about to catch his prey it seemed fitting as he had spent months gaining her trust and love. Practically jumping through hoops to get to this point. In a way it made him respect her more for not giving in to easy.

He was going to make her his mate only for her power. He did not love her, but he did respect her for her bravery and honorable determination to defeat Naraku and correct what she had wronged with the Shikon No Tama, but he knew that respect would not have been enough to capture this miko. He had to put on a false guise to make his plans reality.

As he gently kissed her lips, he began to feel her relax in his embrace. He knew that this being her first time that he had to take it slow, he felt himself become more aroused just at the thought that he would be the only male to ever touch her. He was quite surprised to find out that her and the half breed had not been intimate.

'Hn. I didn't want to have his leftovers anyway.' And with that thought he began to trail kisses down her neck to her shoulder where he would lay his mark upon her unscarred flesh. Gently nipping at it and getting delightful sounds out of his miko. Then with the speed that only a Taiyoukai could have removed both hers and his attire leaving them bare to each other. He could have laughed at her while she blushed and tried to cover herself from his hungry eyes but of course he never laughs. Pushing those thoughts away, he set his sights on her with determination and closed the small distance between them.

I spent two weeks in Silver Lake
The California sun cascading down my face
There was a girl with light brown streaks
And she was beautiful, but she didn't mean a thing to me.
Yeah, she was beautiful, but she didn't mean a thing to me.

He remembered the first time he saw her, standing there beside his half-brother, anger clearly written across her face. At the time he found it amusing that a silly little ningen was standing up against an obviously more powerful foe without even a trace of fear.

He had become intrigued when he tried to kill her with his poison and she survived. That was the first time he realized that she wasn't as powerless as he had first thought. Her power coupled with how she stood for her beliefs without fear had caused him to look at her in a different light, one that did not bode well for the little miko.

Every time she got in his way or spoke out of turn against him just piqued his interest in her even more. At first his interest in her was simply to figure out her unique demeanor, from her attire to the fact that she was a miko, an enemy of all youkai, who not only traveled with a hanyou but she also adopted a full blooded fox youkai. Then she did something that he honestly didn't expect from her that pushed him over the edge.

She had saved his ward, Rin. On that day his feelings went from interest to respect and with the combination of that and her immense power he could feel thrumming against his youki he decided to keep a different more predatory watch on her behavior. He spent weeks just watching her day to day moments, learning what he could about her and only grew more and more hungry to have her.

After he finally decided to make his move, he slowly immersed himself in her group of misfit friends. He knew that to gain her trust, he had to gain theirs as well. So he reluctantly decided to team up with the group to defeat Naraku. And after a while he had them all fooled, even his baka half brother. And once Naraku was no longer in this world he made his intentions known to Kagome and all of her gang gave their blessings.

I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking
As we moved together in the dark
And all the friends that I was telling
And all the playful misspellings
And every bite I gave you left a mark

The moment he bit into her neck, he howled to the heavens for all to hear that he had his mate. He vaguely recalled hearing her whisper his name into his neck and he loved the way her impassioned breaths ghosted across his skin. He was quite pleased with the kind of bed partner she was. Never before had he felt so alive, between her sounds of pleasure to the way her reiki caused his skin to tingle, he knew that she was by far the best lover he has had in his long life.

Yet he had an unfamiliar feeling, not one that he could decipher. He suddenly questioned if his actions were what she would want later on, if she would truly be happy with the decision that he made for her.

'Why shouldn't she be, it is a great honor to be my mate and now she will never want for anything.' But even he knew that was a lie. She had told him numerous times that love was important to her. Love. That strange emotion that she keeps throwing around trying to make him understand it. He had told her that youkai do not feel love. They only understand how to take care of what was theirs. She didn't believe that to be true because 'love is universal' or at least that was what she told him. She was going to teach him how to love but even though he would never tell her, she was only wasting her time.

As tiny vessels oozed into your neck
And formed the bruises
That you said you didn't want to fade
But they did and so did I that day

He finally looked into her face. It was flushed and slightly pink from their 'love making' and felt a gust of male pride engulf him. He knew that he was a good lover, many demonesses told him so, and he had been with many and probably many more to come in the future.

Then he looked into her eyes and immediately that feeling was back, the feeling of what he could only place as guilt. She looked at him with love. Even though he couldn't quite understand it he knew that was what she was feeling and it made his stomach churn. For the first time in his long existence he questioned whether what he did was right. Suddenly wanted to do what was in the best interest of someone other than himself.

'What is wrong with me? What do I have to feel guilty about? I now have the most powerful mate in the world.' Then he noticed something else in the depths of her dark brown eyes. Trust. She trusted herself with him, not just her physical well being but with her heart and soul. He had never had anyone put so much faith into him before.

He quickly removed himself from her and began to get dressed with his back to her. He could feel her nervously get up and dress as well with an uncertain gaze burning into his back but at the moment he couldn't face her, he couldn't face her trusting gaze after what he did to her.

All I see are dark gray clouds
In the distance, moving closer with every hour.
So when you'd ask, "Is something wrong?"
I'd think, "You're damn right there is.
But we can't talk about it now
No, we can't talk about it now"

"Sesshomaru?" she questioned his actions and he knew that she didn't understand what had changed in him so suddenly. He had shown her a side of him these past couple of months that didn't really exist. He was kind to her and even 'loving' but she would soon see that was not who he was.

"Is there something wrong?" He had been trying to ignore her but she seemed determined to annoy him. All he wanted was to leave so he could think and deal with his conscious but he knew on an animalistic level he couldn't leave his mate feeling insecure so he needed to figure out something to say to her. He didn't want her to lose her trust in him yet. He knew she would one day but not today, he could keep the charade up for one more day. That is the least he could do for her.

"There is nothing wrong, there are some things that I must see to and then I will come back and collect you, I don't want to leave you here but I have to see to my other responsibilities." He tried to keep the ice from his voice and it seemed to work because he was gifted with another one of her brilliant smiles. Too bad it didn't affect him.

So one last touch and then you'll go.
And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile, and it was cheap
And you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me.

He walked over and kissed the newly formed mark on her neck, sending chills down her spine. He puffed out at the effect he had on her and he felt that all too familiar stir within him to claim this little miko again but he squashed those feelings down he had things to think about and he can give into his urges later on as many times as he wanted. That is until he tired of her, than he would rut with some demoness.

He went from her neck to gently kiss her lips then pulled away from her. He knew before she even spoke what it was that she would say and he could feel the annoyance building up.

"I love you, Sesshomaru." She whispered to him. And he knew she meant it. But he doesn't care if she loves him or not. He doubts that he ever would, but he had to admit that at the moment it did help him.

"And I you." She searched his face trying to find any truth to that. He saw her eyes flicker to disappointment at finding his words held no meaning but quickly she smiled and headed back to her friends to wait for him to return for her. He watched her walk away. He didn't want her to have an unhappy existence; his instincts would not allow his mate to be unhappy. But he knew that she could never truly be happy with him and that didn't bother him at all.

Yeah, you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me.
Yeah, you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me.