Hi I'm an insane writer who thought up this stupid story in her spare time. Please review and give me suggestions for other stories I can write and how to improve them. Please don't send me any flamers. Thank you, Good night!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story except the author. Please don't sue. All I have is an inflatable football and a video of The Jungle Book.
DBZ in Teletubbyland.
Once day in Teletubbyland, Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po thought to themselves, Hmm, Me bored. I think ill go and give someone a big hug.
Meanwhile:
"WOMAN, WHERES MY BREAKFAST!!!!"
"SHUT UP! ITS F***ING COMING"
"WELL, HURRY UP!"
Yelled Vegeta.It was a typical morning in the Briefs house. Vegeta was in his typical bad ass mood and Bulma was definitely not helping.
Just as Vegeta was about to explode, there was a knock on the door.
"Who the F*** is it?" Vegeta called.
Bulma opened the door and there was Goku, wearing the big dumb grin on his face he always wears.
"Hi Goku" said Bulma. Sending a dirty look at Vegeta, "Come on in." "No I can't but I need to talk to Vegeta for a moment." "Sure, hes right here."
God damn that woman, she knows I hate that baka, Kakarot
"Hey Vegeta, I have something important to tell you."
(Sigh) "What IS it Kakarot, I'm about to have breakfast." "Oh no, I forgot to have breakfast, I better go."
"KAKAROT, GET BACK HERE NOW! TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO AND LEAVE!"
"Gee Vegeta you don't have to yell, anyway…… oh darn I forgot what I was going to say.
(Vegeta face faults, anime style)
"Oh yeah, I remember now." 'Tell me and get out before I F***ing kill you!
"Ok well I just wanted to tell you. Teletubbies are on! Yay!!!!" Vegeta goes bright red, and is about to explode, when..
"Breakfast is ready!" Cried Bulma.
"FINALLY" Grumbled Vegeta. "Kakarot, I'm giving you 10 seconds to get out of my house before I turn you into a pile of S***
10..
9..
8..
7..
Goku continues to stand there
6..
5..
4..
3..
2..
1..
Ok that's it! BIG BANG ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Goku dodged the attack and said, "Does this mean you aren't going to watch Teletubbies?"
Vegeta was madder then Bulma had ever seen him, so she said (quietly) to Goku. "I think your breakfast is getting cold. ChiChi will be mad."
The effect was instant. Goku sped home faster then he probably ever had.
She quickly put Vegeta's breakfast on the table. "About time, woman, what took you so long." Bulma sighed.
Later on that day.
Goku was getting dressed to go to Master Roshi's place for a party to celebrate Tien and Chao-zu's engagement. "ChiChi, do I really have to wear this suit, it's really uncomfortable. Besides, I'll miss Pokemon."
"SHUT UP AND GET DRESSED OR I'LL TRY OUT MY NEW 50% HARDER FRYING PAN ON YOU!"
"Yes dear."
Gohan ran to get dressed before his mum could hit him with that frying pan.
Soon they were all ready to go. The party was scheduled for 12:00 so they would have lunch there.
Meanwhile, at Vegeta's house.
"NO I WON'T GO, WHY SHOULD I GO TO THOSE GAYASSES WEDDING!"
"SHUT UP AND PUT THIS ON OR YOU WON'T BE GETTING *ANY*FOR A MONTH! YOU WON'T GET ANY DINNER EITHER!"
Vegeta grumbled and gave Bulma a very dirty look as he went upstairs to put his suit on.
Later at Master Roshi's house.
"Hello Bulma, you look as sexy as ever."
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERT!"
"Piss off Roshi."
"Hi ChiChi, Hi Goku. Hi Gohan."
"Hello Master Roshi.
After everyone had said hello, Tien stood up and started to speak.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Thank you for coming to our engagement party. I just want to say…"
Tien's speech went on and on and on. About halfway into the speech, Goku was now living at the food table, on his 74866667859th helping. ChiChi was trying to drag him away while trying to reach for her new frying pan inches away. Vegeta was asleep, Bulma was keeping an eye on Trunks (Bra wasn't born yet and trunks was about 7.). Piccolo was wishing he had never decided to come to this party, Chao-zu was looking at Tien, listening with loving eyes. Puar and Oolong were trying to keep the food coming to the table before Goku ate it all, Yamcha was making eyes at Bulma while Vegeta was asleep, Gohan was meditating with Piccolo and Roshi was crawling under the seats, looking up all of the women's dresses.
"And now, hears Chao-zu. Thanks for listening." Everyone clapped, except Vegeta, who was still sleeping and Goku, who was still eating. And ChiChi who was still trying to drag him away.
"Thanks Tien, and now I would just like to say…"
"Wake up Vegeta, wake up.." whispered Bulma.
"…But Mummy, I don't wanna go to school today, I want some chocolate… where's my teddy?" "VEGETA WAKE UP!"
"Huh, what?" Everyone was laughing at him.
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT! NO ONE LAUGHS AT THE KING OF SAIYANS!
"Go and cry to your teddy, Veggie_breath."
"YOU BAKAS, I WAS ASLEEP!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH.
"OK THAT'S IT, FINAL FLASH ATTACK!"
"VEGETA STOP IT! Remember what I said earlier?"
"Ok fine."
"Anyway," replied Chao-zu. "As I was saying…
FLASH!
"Whoa, what the hell was that?" cried Piccolo.
"Where's all the food gone?" said Goku.
"OK THAT'S IT!" WHACK!
Goku lay on the ground, unconscious.
I thought he'd never shut up. thought Vegeta.
"Hey, where the hell are we?" asked Gohan.
"This looks familiar," said Trunks.
They were in a very big, green field, with lots of red, yellow, purple and green flowers. Over the horizon, there was a very weird shaped house, kind of like an igloo with lots of chimneys sticking out of the wall.(that's what I think it looks like anyway) and a big windmill near the house.
Suddenly, Trunks saw the door open and something came out, something fat, something purple, something with a triangle on its head, something carrying a red handbag.
"No, it can't be…" stammered Trunks.
"Tell me it's not…"
"Say it isn't…"
"It's a Teletubbie! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Wait, here come the rest,"
Out came Tinky-Winky, the purple one with the handbag; Dipsy, a bright green one with a stupid looking black and white top hat; Laa-Laa, with a ball that looked more like a balloon and Po, who had a scooter with a demented bell.
"WHERE THE f***ARE WE!"screamed Vegeta.
"We're in… Teletubbieland!" yelled Trunks.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" everyone yelled, except for Goku, he was still unconscious.
Suddenly, Po spotted them, "Ook, people!"
"Big Hug!" yelled the rest of them. They stormed off in the direction of the DBZ characters.
"How the F*** did we get here." Screamed Piccolo.
"I don't know but look, they're coming for us! Run!" yelled Bulma.
They ran for they're lives, twisting turning, then suddenly, Vegeta thoughtHey wait, we can fly So he picked up his mate and flew the hell out of there. Everyone else did it too. ChiChi ran down below, leaving Goku behind.
The Teletubbies ran past Goku, thinking he looked like a strange brainless plant. Which he was.
They flew on until they saw a dead end!
"Oh god, now what do we do?" yelled Gohan.
Suddenly they heard a scream from far away.
"Mum?" said Gohan. He couldn't believe ChiChi was screaming. She normally made everyone else scream.
"We have to save her."
"Save her? She's a loudmouth bitch, why does she need saving?" Vegeta of course.
"She's my mum Vegeta," "So? I killed my mum,"
"Shut up Veggie-Chan."
"DON'T CALL ME THAT, WOMAN!"
"Yeah, Veggie-Chan."
"SHUT UP YAMCHA"
Suddenly they heard a loud WHACK!
"Take that, you fat, ugly, brainless, gayass!
Everyone smiled.
"Suddenly, ChiChi came running up to them, gasping for help.
"They're chasing me!"
"YOU IDIOT, YOU LED THEM RIGHT TO US!"
WHACK! Yamcha was unconscious.
The Telytubbies ran into the dead end. They walked slowly toward them.
"FINAL FLASH ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The attack hit Tinky-Winky in the head, however, since there was nothing in there it didn't affect him.
"S***" cried Vegeta.
"Suddenly, out came Chao-zu. In a sexy voice, (well as sexy as your voice can be when you're a up-yourself, gay mime\clown) "Hi Tinky-Winky" giggles girlishly.
"Chao-zu, what are you doing?" "Piss off, Tien, I'm in love with Tinky-Winky now. Come on Tinky-Winky, tell about your cool handbag, where did you get it?" "Chao-zu, wait, I still love you!" running after Chao-zu and Tinky-Winky.
The rest of the Telytubbies walked towards the DBZ gang and said 2 terrible words.
BIG HUG!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Telytubbies ran towards them and started to smother them with the big hug.
Yamcha sank to the ground and died of suffocation. Piccolo kept screaming for water, Gohan started to cry, Bulma screamed for help, ChiChi desperately tried to hit them with her frying pan, Puar and Oolong hadn't been taken to Teletubbieland, Trunks, died too, Master Roshi kept trying to look up the female Teletubbies costumes, Goku was still unconscious and Vegeta was the only one not being hugged.
"Hah Hah, suffer you gayasses."
Suddenly, Vegeta saw something in the distance, something big, something purple, something with a big head and no brain, it was singing a song that goes like this:
I love you
You love me
We're a happy family
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Far far away, Goku finally woke up. "Huh… what happened? Where am I? Where is everyone? I'd better find out." Goku rose into the air and, not looking where he was going, crashed into the weird house and was knocked unconscious again.
Meanwhile, things were just getting worse for the DBZ gang. A big yellow bird, a brown hairy elephant, a little red monster and a fat yellow mouse with red cheeks were also joining in the fun.
"God help us!"
"Help Mr Piccolo!"
"SHUT UP GOHAN!"
"Help, you stupid, son of a bitch."
Just as Barney was about to kill Vegeta, Vegeta thought of the perfect way to get rid of them. But first, he had to find Kakarot. He managed to fly out of Barneys grip and immediately flew away from him. Barney, being the f***ed up thing he was, was too slow to catch him.
When Vegeta finally found Goku, he was lying in a heap at the side of the house.
"Kakarot… Kakarot…KAKAROT!!!" Goku woke up.
"Ow my head." "I have a surprise for you Kakarot."
"REALLY!!" "Yeah."
"Now come on, follow me."
Soon they were at the dead end, everyone was dead except for ChiChi, Bulma, Gohan, Trunks and Master Roshi.
"Look who it is Kakarot!"
Goku stared blankly for a minute, then he got the big dumb excited grin on his face and screamed…
"TELETUBBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BARNEY!!!!!!!!!!BIG BIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SNUFLUPAGUS (I KNOW THAT'S NOT RIGHT) ELMO!!!!!!!!!
PIKACHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TIME FOR A BIG HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Goku then ran around trying to hug all the Teletubbies, sesame street characters and Pikachu.
As soon as he touched them, the screamed and spontaneously combusted. (Don't ask me why, I'm insane.)
Now, there was only Barney to go. Goku tried to hug him, but not even Goku could defeat this spawn of all evil.
"Wait I know!" cried Bulma. She got a match and set the grass on fire. Barney said to all the kids who were watching. "Remember, when in a fire, stop, drop and roll." He did that, and rolled right into the flames, and was burned to a crisp.(The moral is: when ON fire, stop, drop and roll, not when you're IN a fire. Barney actually made this mistake and he got very badly sued.)
Now the DBZ characters set out to find Tinky-Winky.
*********************************************************************
"Now, where would Tinky-Winky be?" wondered Roshi.
Suddenly they heard a scream coming from the strange looking house.
"Tinky-Winky doesn't have a d*ck!! HE DOESN'T HAVE A PENIS!"
"Are we sure we want to go in?" asked ChiChi.
"It would be pretty gross" said Bulma.
"We must defeat that gayass!" cried Vegeta.
BOOM!
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" someone wailed.
They ran into the house and there was Chao-zu holding the bloody remains of Tinky-Winky. Then suddenly, the purple remains started to burst into flames. "I just hugged him and he exploded, "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!"
"Don't worry Chao-zu, I'm here for you," Tien said.
" Oh Tien, I knew I could count on you."
"I forgive you Chao-zu,"
"Oh Tien, OH TIEN!"
Everyone left very, VERY quickly!
"OK, now that we've left them alone, how the HELL did we get here!" yelled Vegeta.
"And how do we get out?" Bulma cried.
"I DON'T WANNA LEAVE, MUMMY!" we can all guess who that was.
"But Goku, you don't even have a mother!"
"Um… I DON'T WANNA LEAVE CHICHI!!!!!!!!! I LIKE IT HERE!"
"Take THAT!"
WHACK!!!!!
Goku was unconscious yet again.
"Now, we gotta figure out how we got here, so we can figure out how to get out!" Bulma said, with much more reason than normal and looking very proud of herself.
"Well," said ChiChi. "There was a big flash… and"
FLASH!!
They were suddenly in a big, pitch black room with spotlights on them, everyone who had died was brought back to life and Chao-zu and Tien were on the floor making love (EWWW!).
"BIG BANG ATTACK!, NO ONE DESERVES TO SEE THAT!"
And poof! They were in a gay bar with other people making out.(end of story for them!)
Now back to the others!
A big booming voice suddenly rang out…
WHERE'S MY CHOCOLATE BAR! I WANT MY CHOCOLATE BAR!
"Oh, was that chocolate bar yours?" said Goku, with brown marks all over his face.
WHAT!? YOU ATE MY CHOCOLATE BAR! I CONDEM YOU TO THE WORST POSSIBLE HELL! I'M THE AUTHOR AND I WILL KILL YOU ALL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!
OH WAIT A MINUTE, I CAN'T KILL YOU, THE PEOPLE WHO WROTE THIS STORY SAID I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU, EVEN THOUGH I WROTE THIS STUPID STORY. I WILL MAKE YOUR LIVES HELL INSTEAD!!Hah!haHAHAHHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
To be continued in my next fic. Which will be completely different but will kinda continued from here!!
More stupidity and insanity to come!