HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASHLEY!

Lol, I almost didn't get this written in time! I just finished it on Thursday. Please, anyone who's reading this, don't freak on the size. This is the whole story anyways. XD But yeah, it's Ashley's 16th birthday today and I really don't have much to do or give her or anything, so I wanted to do something. Terra actually helped me decide to write a little story.

Enough of my rambling! Enjoy the story, and have a great birthday, Ashley!

Note: This story is in Ashley's POV.

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"Cruise! Cruise!" Terra shouted excitedly, almost as if she would jump up and down, as Alice probably would/will, with excitement. "We are going on a cruise!" She shouted to us with a grin. I smiled and glanced over at James. He was mumbling something. I strained my ears to hear him.

"God damn cruise, don't want to fucking go, too much water…"

"Aw, I forgot, poor Jamie is scared of the ocean." I teased.

"Shut the hell up." He growled at me, and I just smirked.

"Mom, James is being mean to me." I called to Amber, who walked out of her room not long after I said that. She shot James an accusing look, and he shook his head so quickly I thought it would fall off. Imagining it, I snickered.

"We have to take some other people too though." Terra was telling Kendra. "I bet we could take the Cullens."

"We're leaving—"

"We can shove him over."

"Very good point…" She looked at me. "What do you think of taking Edward with us to throw overboard? I mean, we have to have your opinion, since he's your dad."

"…" I stared at her. "Please don't remind me of that. I'm shoving him into the water as soon as he gets onto the boat. We can take turns." I laughed. "When are you going to tell them?"

"Hi, everyone!" The door flew open and Alice ran inside. She ran over to James and hugged him, then went to everyone else and hugged them one by one, ignoring James' hostile glare. I snickered and hugged her back when she hugged me. "We're ready to go on the cruise." She said and snickered as soon as Edward came in. I tilted my head, wondering why she glanced at me and James as she did.

Later on in the same day we went to the cruise. We had turned human to get the full experience. I hugged Ben as we went into our room and, not long after that, James called us out to eat. I mumbled and Ben wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and I was immediately calmed.

It was a feast set up for all of us. Better than blood? I questioned myself as we dug in. I decided that it probably was; blood didn't have flavor like this. Alice, sitting across from me, continued to snicker as she glanced from me, to James, to Edward. "Alice, what's your deal?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," She said with an innocent smile. "I would just be careful tomorrow morning if I were you." She stood, having finished her food already. I stared in disbelief. A midget like that ate two helpings in ten minutes!

I neglected to ask what she meant.

The next morning I was on the main deck. Amber was sunbathing, cawing at any birds that flew past and imitating the sound of dolphins if they came by. She had a bottle of Jägermeister. She waved when she saw me watching her and I smiled, waving back. I looked over at Terra and James. They were standing a little away from the edge; I wasn't surprised.

Ben was off getting something to eat, and Kendra was roaming around the gift shops. I walked over to the edge and stared at the water below. Edward was in his room, sulking about having to even come here, I was sure. Alice was skipping around the boat, random hugging people.

I yawned and leaned against the railing. The sky above didn't look promising for a nice and sunny day for long. As the clouds rolled in front of the sun, Amber took off her sunglasses, dismayed. "Who turned off the sun?" She asked, looking up.

"The clouds." James said, sounding exasperated. "It sounds like a storm is coming. Let's go inside." When no one moved, he glared. "Now."

"You're not intimidating as a human." I said with a smirk.

"Oh, I can be." James said as he walked toward me. I grinned, not moving. I heard footsteps and looked over to see Edward and Alice coming toward us. Edward was walking toward James.

"James, no. She's human too." He growled.

"You're still a vampire?!" I shouted.

"No! Stop it, you three!" Alice shouted, also coming toward us. She was slower, though, since she actually had turned into a human. "You're going to—"

I didn't get to hear the end of her sentence. James was shoving me over the railing. "James, I'm not a vampire!" I yelled at him. Edward tried to pull the both of us back, but James tore out of his grasp while saying something like, "Don't fucking touch me!" In that process, the three of us all found our way over the railing and onto the edge of the boat.

The clouds weren't feeling merciful. The waters began to churn violently, rocking the boat. Unable to keep his grip, James slipped. He grabbed my foot and I went down with him. I clutched onto Edward's shirt, but he was taken by surprise, and ended up letting go too. We all fell into the dark waters.

I opened my eyes to hear cawing. I stared up into the sun and mumbled as I looked away from the blinding light. I rolled over and coughed. "Am I dead?" I muttered.

"No."

I looked up to see Edward, soaking wet. He scowled down at me. "You two are lucky that I was a vampire. It still wasn't easy holding you two above water." He glanced back, and I followed his gaze. James was still outcold. He was facedown, but he was breathing. I sighed and sat up, mumbling. .

"Where are we?" Definitely not dead. Sulpicia would be here if I were.

"No idea." Edward said.

All of a sudden James sat up, spitting out water and sand. I groaned and looked away. A long list of profanity words began; he actually said words that I didn't even know existed. Edward looked disgusted as he listened to the long line of language. I considered writing some of the words down, if I'd had anything to write on.

All of a sudden, at the end of his tirade, he exclaimed, "And I need something to eat, dammit!"

I looked at Edward. He growled, reading my thoughts. "If Alice had told me this was going to happen, I would have taken preparations." Then he began to come toward me. I backed off. He turned away, holding his hand over his nose. He mumbled something that sounded like "Willpower".

I glared. "She's been acting strange since we came here. Why didn't you read her thoughts to find out?"

"She kept avoiding me. She knew I'd leave the cruise if I'd known." He said.

"Good, so we can blame her!" James said darkly. "Get me something to eat, one of you!"

"Get it yourself!" I said.

"I am King of this island!" James declared. "Go get me something to eat now, slaves!"

"Slaves?" I asked, unable to hold back a laugh. "As if! You know what, what we need to do is focus on getting off this island and back to the boat, or somehow letting people know we're here."

Edward scowled. "Good luck with that." He turned and began to walk away.

"Hey! Where are you going?" I shouted after him.

"I'm still a vampire, remember? I need something to drink." He growled. He walked into the trees that I'd just now noticed. I looked over at James, who was by the water, trying to drink it. "James, you can't drink saltwater!" I said, walking toward him. After a moment I decided against it. "I'm going to go get some fruits or something."

"Get me some too, maggot!" James said, standing up and glaring down at me, trying to look like a sort of leader of chieftain, I wasn't sure. He sure wasn't looking royal like a king. He still looked like a caveman for some reason.

"Nah, you can get it yourself." I said as I walked into the trees. I looked up to see coconuts, but didn't get them. Too high, too troublesome to break. I went further in with a sigh, wondering what all was edible here. I yawned as I walked, and stretched out. There was nothing dangerous on this island except the possibility of starvation or dehydration, but there was food on this island, and surely, freshwater.

Of all people, why was I stranded with James and Edward? Sure, I'd broken a mirror or two maybe, but was this seriously supposed to be my luck? How was I going to tolerate it, let alone survive until help arrived? The GMM was on the ship, and again, with my luck, Edward would lose control and eat James and me… that sounded wrong. Anything involving Edward sounds wrong, though.

Slowly I continued to wade through the many trees. I sighed heavily as I went on and suddenly something brushed past me. I looked back and saw Edward going at a quick pace back toward the shore. "Edward!" Fagward! "What is it?"

He glanced back at me and held up a ton of fruits in his hands. I scoffed. "What the hell is that?" He ignored me and began to walk again. I raced after him. "Do you even know if that's edible?!"

Again, I was ignored. I sighed heavily as we reached the shore. James was on his back, his face green. I laughed. "James, I told you that you couldn't drink saltwater." His only response was a cough and a groan. Edward dumped all of the fruit he'd obtained down onto the sand. I lifted one up and recognized it as a pomegranate, only due to the fact that Kendra had been eating them lately. I lifted it and wondered how to get it open. I looked at the tip on it, shaped like a crown.

With a sigh I tried to pull it off, unsuccessful. Edward took it from me and took it off, crushing it partially. I took it from him, and took out a few seeds, eating them as I watched James take the pomegranate tip and put it on his head. Oh, God. He's going insane. "Now I truly am king." He said.

"I'm sorry; I can't take you seriously with the small crown fit for a mouse on your head." I mumbled, partially ignoring him. He walked over to me and took the pomegranate from me. "…" he threw it out into the water. "What the fuck?!" I slapped him and he lifted me up and also started to carry me toward the edge. I hate being human, dammit!

"James, this isn't solving anything." Edward snarled.

I guess you are useful for something. I thought, and also thought an apology when Edward glared at me. He continued, "Put her down. What are you going to accomplish by throwing her into the water?

"Fixing a problem of annoyance." James mumbled, but dropped me onto my back. I mumbled and sat up, and went back to the pile of fruit. I saw something that looked like a pear and bit into it. It didn't taste all that good, but oh well.

"What I would give for a GMM right now." I sighed.

Later that night, Edward woke James and me up. I glared at him. "What?" I asked groggily. He lifted me up and I tried to shove away from him. He's touching me!! Ben!! I thought in disgust, but he just made the ride rougher with every bad thought/comment I made on it. "What the fuck's your problem?"

"There's a Native tribe here." He mumbled as he went on.

"What are they going to do, eat us?" I glanced behind us to see James struggling to keep up with us. I sighed and slapped Edward.

"Put me down."

He snarled and dropped me onto my feet. I began to run after him alongside James. I was panting by the time we got into the deeper trees. In the distance I could hear running water. Not even thinking about the circumstances, I began to run toward it. This would be the first drink of freshwater I'd gotten since earlier today on the boat. "Ashley!" They shouted after me.

I tripped on something and felt myself fall forward. Before I hit the ground, I was suddenly hoisted into the air. I groaned and looked up at my feet to see a rope around my ankle. "What is this faggotry?" I mumbled.

All of a sudden people with dark skin surrounded me. They had markings on their faces and spears in their hands and very few clothes on. I was vaguely reminded of Pirates of the Caribbean, but I didn't have a sword to fight with. I hoped they didn't have sleeping darts. One of them poked me with the edge of the spear. "Hey!" I shouted and slapped it back.

The whole group began to make exclamations that I couldn't understand. I sighed. "Still upside down here." I muttered in annoyance. They didn't take notice until a James suddenly approached and slapped a few away and walked over to me, reaching up to untie the rope.

All of a sudden the whole group of them bowed. … What? I narrowed my eyes and James didn't notice until he'd gotten me down. Afterwards he said, "…Are they bowing to me or you?"

"Uhh…"

They rose after a few long moments and said several things in inquisitive voices. They pointed from me to James and I tilted my head. James looked at me and at the Natives and motioned to himself, then me. "Yes, we are friends." He said in a confused tone.

All at once they began to shout in triumphant voices. They began to crowd us and lifted us up into the air. "What's going on?!" I yelled and saw Edward a while off, watching the scene. I glared coldly at him. He made a gesture to his head as if putting something onto it. I tilted my head. He sighed in exasperation and motioned to his wedding ring on his finger for Bella. I narrowed my eyes. Then he motioned to his head, as if putting something on it again. It hit me.

"James, they think we're… Ew!" I grimaced. "That's disgusting! Eww! That's just… no!" He continued to stare at me and I continued, flinching as I said the words. "They think we're married and that we're… eh… royalty."

James stared in repulsion at the first part of the sentence, but laughed at the second. "I told you so! I told you that I am King!" He began to cheer with the Natives as they carried us through the trees. I made a face and sighed heavily.

We reached their apparent camp. They dropped us into two huge chairs made out of plants and held out two huge platters [tree bark] of fruit to each of us. I stared at it and took a grape. James took the whole thing. "…" I ignored it.

They slammed 'crowns' onto our heads. I touched mine to feel bananas. And many other fruits. I was utterly confused. They said something to me and I stared in puzzlement. James suddenly looked at them and said something the way they were speaking. I looked at him in surprise. "You know their language?"

"I used to speak it before I learned English." He muttered.

"What did they ask then?"

"Where we've been."

"What did you say?"

"Hell." He smirked. "And that we were resurrected to lead this tribe together, but we are not a couple. And that I have the most authority."

"What?" I asked. "You should be asking if any other people come to this island a lot!"

"Oh okay." He asked them in that language. I heard a few clicks. What do those even mean? He looked at me again after they answered. "Nope. But I told them they could eat Edward." I facepalmed.

Early the next morning Edward was sitting tied up, glaring at James. I asked him, "Why don't you just break out and get us the fuck out of here?"

"They'd follow us and bring us back, and then they might kill the both of you." He said.

"Oh." I mumbled angrily. "Then escape and go find help!" I leaned on the side of my plant seat and frowned down at the abandoned platters of fruit on the ground.

Edward mumbled. He stood up straight and began to walk away after snapping the rope around his feet. I saw that there were no Natives around at the moment to catch him. He snapped the rope around his wrists and walked away. I sighed in exasperation at what I had been reduced to. Relying on Edward Cullen for help. I looked over at James, who was giving orders to all the Natives.

He can stay here for all I care.

One of the Natives approached me and said something. I stared. They repeated it. James approached and said, "She's asking why you don't participate in activities." He muttered something to me in their language and told me to say it.

"And if I say it what will I be telling them?"

"That you're feeling somewhat ill."

"Oh, really."

James glared slightly. "Yes, really."

I sighed after a moment and repeated what he'd said to me. Surprisingly, the Native didn't stare or laugh or anything. She got a concerned look over her face and turned, walking away. I looked back at James, and then sighed and shut my eyes. I hate being human.

I would hate it even more the next day. Two other people came into camp with the same apparel of the Natives, but they looked just like James and I. I tilted my head as they came in. When they looked over at us they exclaimed in rage. They ran over toward us and I stood out of my seat quickly. James didn't seem fazed, however.

The male picked me up, exclaiming something. All the other Natives began to gather around. "James, what the fuck's going on?" I said, looking over at him. The female had a spear to his neck. He glanced over at me after a moment.

"These are the real king and queen." He mumbled.

"… Oh." I sighed heavily. I lifted my hands to my head and took off my 'crown'. "Fuck Edward, he's never here when you need him." I mumbled. I turned to the female. "Hey!" She glanced at me. I held the crown out to her. She stared. "Do you want it? Come and get it."

After a moment she crept over to us and took the crown and put it on her head. The male smiled and dropped me and walked over to James and glared down at him. James glared back. "James, just give it to him." I mumbled.

"I don't want to." James protested.

"Tough luck, it's either that or get roasted!" I said angrily. He continued to glare at the male. However, he slowly took off his crown and gave it to him. After a moment he turned away. I was sure he was going to burst into tears. The female looked at me.

"Thank you." She said in a heavy accent.

"You speak English?!"

"Yes. I am sorry to hear that you are stuck here. It is not hard to figure out." She said before I could say anything. "We met a strange man on shore. We were almost lost to sea in the storm. He told us odd things happen here so we came to find this."

"We're terribly sorry about this." I said quickly.

"It is okay. You gave leadership back." You're lucky James did. I thought. "Do you need assistance?"

"Well, there's this boat. We fell off of it, and that's how we ended up here."

The female laughed. "We may be a tribe, but we are also affected by the spread of civilization. They have a house for some reason far that way." She pointed far off into the distance. "There you will find a house where there are two people inside. They should be able to help you."

I thanked her again and Edward showed up. He had been the "strange man on shore". After we told him about the house, he picked the both of us up and ran there in record time. When we went inside, we were encountered with an old man and woman.

"Sir!" I said to the man, who stared at me. "My name is Ashley, this is James Witherdale, and this is Edward Cullen. We fell off of a ship and we need to call it somehow. Do you have a phone?"

"What?"

"We need a phone. We need help."

"What?"

"… Sir? Do you have a phone?"

"What? Hold on. My hearing aid is switched off…" The man said loudly. His hand went to his ear and I sighed. I went over to the wall after spotting a phone. I called Terra's phone number instead of trying to find something else to do. She answered excitedly and I explained what happened.

All of a sudden Edward looked like he might throw up. "So much blood… have to drink…" He said, staring at me. He began to walk toward me. I narrowed my eyes and stepped back.

"Back off."

He continued to stare at me with wide, black, beady eyes. After a moment he jumped through a window. He ran off. I snickered after a moment and told Terra where we'd fallen and described the island. She gave her phone to the captain and I relayed the information to him.

About a day or so later, the boat came back. Edward had been unsuccessful in his hunting, so he was out trying again. I watched him leave and got onto the boat. "Where's Edward?" Alice asked.

"Still on the island."

"We can't leave without him!"

"Sure we can." I said. She frowned. The boat began to move again and I was relieved that he still wasn't coming. I chuckled to myself. Then there was a sudden thud. I turned. There stood Edward Cullen, glaring at me coldly. God dammit. The nightmare continues. I felt Ben hug me and decided it was alright.

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lolfin, win if you can find the Yu-Gi-Oh: Abridged Series reference[s]~ Have an awesome birthday, Ash!